Chapter Eight

Shinji wasn't aware of anything as he floated in the darkness.

Where am I? was the first thing he thought. He had no body, but his could feel his consciousness floating. He couldn't remember anything as to where he was, nor how he got there. The only thing he knew was that this endless blackness was lonely.

Shinji reached out to try and find others, though he couldn't explain just how he did so, seeing as he had no body. At first he thought that there was nothing there, but the more he searched, the more he felt something, like water slipping through his fingers. Soon, he began to feel things bumping against his consciousness in the blackness, though every time Shinji attempted to grab a hold onto one of those fleeting feelings, it slipped through his grasp.

What is this place? A dream? What are these things bumping against me? Shinji had no answers, but he found that his mind was utterly calm. He was certain that in this situation, not knowing where he was with unidentifiable objects brushing against him, he should be panicking. And yet, he wasn't. He felt no panic, no fear, or anger; it was as if all unpleasant emotions had been taken away from him.

Again, Shinji tried to grasp one of the phantom objects brushing against him, but it, like the others, slipped out of whatever he was grabbing with. It was almost as if these objects were alive, and yet Shinji got the distinct feeling that they were not any form of life that he knew, but something on a completely different level of consciousness. As Shinji felt out with his consciousness, his awareness of these things continued to increase, until it felt like he was swimming in an entire sea of them.

Shinji waited until one of the formless things bumped up against him, and he leapt out at it, wrapping his consciousness around it. It squirmed and fought as it tried to get away, but Shinji began to see something.

It was the kitchen Misato's apartment, though it looked as if he was looking down at it from some high perch. As he examined the room, he noticed that Misato was sitting at the table with a can of beer. There was another case of beer sitting on the table, and from the pile building up behind her, it seemed as if she had already gone through several cases already. He couldn't see her face, but every few seconds she took a drink from the can until she threw it over her should. Grabbing another beer from the case, she opened it and took a swig.

Something is wrong, Shinji thought. Misato may drink a lot, but she's never drunk this much at one time.

"Damn you," Misato suddenly said, and she raised her head enough so that Shinji could see her face from wherever he was. She was crying. "Damn you angels, you've already taken enough from me! I swear I'll hunt every last one of you down until…" Her voice faded out as darkness closed in and the sight faded from Shinji's view.

Shinji felt the small life form finally break free of his grasp. What was that? Shinji thought. Why was Misato crying?

Shinji suddenly felt something the moment he thought of Misato. Several of the objects darted toward him, swimming through the blackness. Shinji was so surprised that he stopped thinking about Misato, and the objects halted their approach and resumed their seemingly random travels through the darkness.

What happened? Did they react to my thoughts? Did thinking of Misato make them-?

The objects darted towards Shinji again, and this time he came into contact with one of them. Immediately light began to enter his vision again, and he found himself looking down into a square, metal room, and in the center of the room girl sat on a stool. She looked about as old as he was. If he wasn't sure it was impossible, he would have said that the girl was Misato, but she was much too young.

"Who is she?" a familiar voice said.

Shinji whipped his head around, looking for the source of the voice. He was sure that voice before. He found what he was looking for in the room next to the one where the girl was sitting.

He wasn't sure how he got to that room, only know he wasn't looking down into the room with the girl, but instead he was looking at her through a window. Turning his head, or that's what it felt like he did, since he had no body, Shinji saw what looked like a slightly younger version of Commander Fuyutsuki.

"The only survivor of the research team," someone that Shinji didn't recognize said. "Her name is Misato Katsuragi."

Shinji's view whipped back to the girl sitting in the square room. He felt astonishment touch him slightly through the void. Was that really Misato?

Fuyutsuki spoke again. "Katsuragi? You mean Dr. Katsuragi's daughter?"

"Yes, but she hasn't said a word for two years."

"How terrible."

"She saw hell first hand. Her physical wounds should be healed, but repairing the damage to her mind will take time."

Fuyutsuki nodded as he came up next to where Shinji's consciousness floated and looked at Misato. "Indeed," he said, just as everything faded from sight again and the object swam away from Shinji.

What was that? Shinji thought again. Was that really Misato? And Commander Fuyutsuki? What am I seeing?

Shinji floated in the darkness, trying to puzzle out the answers to all his questions. These things… he thought as he felt one bump up against him, they reacted to my thoughts about Misato. Even as he thought those words, he felt several of the… bubbles-for lack of a better word-dart toward him before suddenly veering off. If I think about other people, will I see them as well? Will I see Asuka-

Several darted toward him

Kaji-

Several of those bubbles increased speed, while others changed course.

Father?

They made contact with Shinji.

He was looking down into his father's office. Gendou was sitting at his desk, hands folded, and he was staring blankly outward. Commander Fuyutsuki stood behind his father, seemingly waiting for something.

"This was… unexpected," Shinji's father said.

"What will you do now?" Fuyutsuki said.

"The goal remains the same," Gendou said, still staring out beyond his desk. The Human Instrumentality Project must be completed."

Darkness closed in as yet another vision left Shinji.

Shinji just floated there. The father he had seen in that vision had felt much harder, much colder than the one he had now, if that was even possible. What on earth was he seeing?

Shinji…

Shinji spun around in the darkness, looking for the source of the whisper. The voice was strange to him, but it tickled something in the back of his mind, as if he'd heard the voice somewhere before. He stayed very still, trying to hear any sound made, but there was only silence.

After several minutes, he gave up on trying to hear it again. Perhaps it came from one of the visions contained in the sea of things that he was floating in. He lay back, or at least, that's what it felt like he was doing, since he had no body, and felt the things swim around him. Although he was curious about this place, what it was, and the visions it contained, he felt oddly at peace here.

One of the objects nudged him. It wasn't just brushing by, like the others had, but more like it had purposefully knocked into him. Shinji, in his formless shape, moved though the objects, trying to find the one that nudged him.

There it was again. He felt it nudge him from behind. It was acting much different than the other objects, which only reacted to his thoughts and tried to get away from him if he tried to physically grab a hold of them. Not only that, but it felt much larger as well. Unlike the little ones that surrounded him, this one felt as if it were the size of a human being.

The object nudged him again, and for an instant, he saw a boy with white hair and closed eyes floating naked in darkness, and then the sight vanished.

Who was that? Shinji thought.

Suddenly, Shinji felt the object slam into him from the side, and the vision of the boy floating in the darkness appeared before him again. Unlike the other visions, however, Shinji felt as if he were still in the see of bubbles containing visions. It was like the boy was there with him.

Shinji just looked at the boy. He looked to be about the same height and age as Shinji was, and his skin was very pale. His white hair moved slowly back and forth above his head, as if he were underwater. Suddenly, the boy lifted a hand and put it on Shinji's shoulder. Shinji wasn't sure how he knew this, since he was sure that he was still formless, but that is what it felt like. When the boy opened his eyes, Shinji gasped. They were the same color as Rei's were.

The boy smiled, and his eyes seemed to glow red. Hello, Shinji Ikari. What are you doing here?

Shinji heard the voice in his mind, but the boy hadn't spoken a word. He stared at the boy in front of him.

The boy smiled. Do not be alarmed, he said to Shinji, again without moving his mouth. This place, he said as he gestured to the darkness around them. Here we have no form. What you see is myself that exists in my mind, and I see the you that exists in your mind. You hear and see my thoughts because here, the boy continued, it is possible to nullify the boundary between the mind and the minds of others.

Who are you? Shinji asked the boy.

The boy smiled again. You do not know me, he said, but I know you, Shinji Ikari. I have waited such a long time to meet you. The boy's smile vanished, and he looked at Shinji seriously. However, you must leave this place quickly. Too many have stumbled upon this place and never returned. You must leave before you suffer the same fate. The boy removed his arm from Shinji's shoulder and began to reluctantly turn away.

Wait! What is this place? Shinji asked, and the boy stopped. How do I get out of here?

It is a place outside of time, thought, and being, the boy said as he turned back to regard Shinji, seemingly grateful that Shinji had called out to him. Here exist the truths of all things, the memories of the universe.

The memories of the universe? Shinji said, confused.

The boy held his hand out, and one of the objects flew up to him, settling in his hand. Shinji could barely see it, there was only the faintest outline, but Shinji knew it was there. The boy brought the object close to him, and began to pet it. It seemed to shiver in delight, and the boy smiled at it. These are the thoughts of the universe. The boy extended his arm watched the object swim away. Here, the past, the present, the future, and everything that lies beyond are one. He turned back to Shinji. Shinji, you must leave this place. The boy looked over his shoulder, as if he heard someone approaching. You must leave now.

But why? Shinji asked. He saw no reason to leave. This place was much better than the real world. Here, there was no fear, no hatred. No one could hurt him here. It was… peaceful. Why should I ever leave? I feel at ease in this place. I am safe here. No one can hurt me here.

Any human soul that wanders here is in great danger of being lost forever for that very reason, the boy said. The sense of peace this place gives will eventually overwhelm the desire to return to the real world, and the light of your soul will no longer be able to hold your body in existence. Do you want to hurt your friends so much that you would stay here forever?

Shinji's eyes widened. How could he have forgotten his friends? Misato, Asuka, Touji, Kaji, Kensuke? Rei? The thought of never seeing them again… it frightened him, cutting through the void of emotion that he floated in. He felt a sense of urgency to get out of here now, but the calming effect of the place kept him from panicking.

How do I leave? Shinji asked the boy.

You must- the boy suddenly cut off, a look of alarm crossing his face. His image suddenly flickered for a second, and he stretched out an arm to Shinji with an expression of longing on his face, as if he wanted desperately to touch him, to feel Shinji there in front of him. His visage flickered once again, and then he vanished completely, leaving Shinji in the darkness.

Shinji floated there, in shock. The boy was gone, before Shinji had learned how to leave this place. He needed to get out of here! He didn't want to stay here forever!

Shinji…

Shinji spun around. It wasn't the same voice that had whispered the first time; it wasn't the voice of the boy. Shinji knew this voice. It was one he could never forget.

Rei? he called out into the darkness.

Immediately, Shinji felt the bubbles suddenly dart towards him, but something was different this time. When he had thought of Misato, Kaji, Asuka, or his father, there were only about twenty or so of the objects that he could sense that turned towards him. This time, Shinji felt hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands of the objects rush towards him. He could sense them come from distances in the void too far to comprehend. He felt them coming, closer, and closer, until one finally made contact.

Slowly, the vision came to him, and he almost didn't recognize the place he saw. It was Rei's apartment; however, there were some significant differences. The grime was gone from the walls, and no trash littered the floor. The reason Shinji knew it was Rei's apartment was because the layout of the furniture was the same. The small refrigerator was still there, and her hospital bed was still in the corner of the room.

I wonder why Rei's room is clean? he thought, but quickly forgot all about the unexpected cleanliness when a certain sound reached his ears. It was quiet, and he almost didn't pick it up, but it sounded vaguely like someone was crying.

Shinji looked around again, and that's when he saw her. Rei was sitting on the floor with her back to the side of her bed, and she tightly held her knees close to her body. She was in her school uniform, and her face was pressed into her knees. As much as Shinji thought this was an odd position for Rei to put herself into, the stranger thing was that the crying seemed to be coming from her.

Shinji floated over to Rei, and was astounded at what he saw. Her shoulders were shaking, and she rose her head just enough that he saw tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and she took sharp breaths as she continued to sob. What on Earth could affect Rei this much?

Shinji reached out to her, before he remembered that he had no body. He didn't like seeing Rei this sad, and it worried him. If he wasn't able to leave this place, he would never be able to see her again. More than any other reason, he wanted to return because Rei was there. Rei…

Suddenly, Rei's head shot up and her eyes opened wide, staring directly at him. "Shinji?" she said.

For a few brief moments, Shinji stared into Rei's crimson eyes, brimming with tears, and watched as recognition and disbelief registered within them. And then he was suddenly yanked away from her, back into the darkness.

What… what was that? Shinji thought. I'm sure that she saw me there, but why was she crying? That still worried him. For Rei to cry… it must be something worse than he could even imagine. Perhaps someone died, he thought. God knows that I'd be reacting much worse if Rei ever…

Shinji's eyes widened as he felt a single bubble jet towards him, and he furiously tried to blank his mind. If there was a memory of the universe, as that boy had called it, coming to him after thinking along that line of thought… Shinji didn't want to see it.

But he had cleared his mind too late.

Panicking, Shinji tried to claw his way away from the vision he now felt enveloping him. He did not want to see this, whatever it was. But he failed, his attempts at breaking away from the universes memory futile, barely even slowing down the rate at which the vision encompassed his consciousness.

And then Shinji saw something that chilled him to the bone.

The tall skyscrapers of Tokyo-3 had been withdrawn into the ground, and would have told Shinji that there was an Angel attack in progress if he hadn't already been frozen in horror as he watched Unit Zero arching it's back in pain. There was some sort of rope of light coming out of Unit Zero's stomach, and Shinji knew that it was an Angel. Veins going up and under Unit Zero's armor spread out from the Angel's contact point with Unit Zero, almost as if it were trying to enter the Eva.

Shinji shook his head in denial. He didn't want to see this and he closed his eyes, but without a tangible body, there were no eyelids to block out the scene before him, and all that Shinji could do was float and watch.

Where am I? he mentally screamed. Where is Unit One?!

As if summoned by his thoughts, Unit One suddenly appeared as it shot up from beneath the ground, already positioning itself to go and back up Unit Zero. But before Unit One could get close enough to provide any assistance to it's fellow Eva, the other end of the Angel whipped towards it like a deadly snake, poised to kill.

Shinji tensed as he watched Unit One grab a hold of the Angel, quickly aiming the rifle it had in it's other hand at the whip-like form the angel had taken and pulled the trigger. It had no effect on the angel. Shinji could see veins growing out from Unit One's hand where it had taken hold of the Angel, the armor encasing it slowly popping off as the veins grew, and there was nothing the Eva could do to stop it.

And suddenly the Angel was yanked away from him, flying back towards Unit Zero, causing Unit One to fall to it's knee in shock, but it quickly recovered and began to rise, looking directly towards Unit Zero.

Shinji heard a voice.

"Her AT-Field's been reversed!" it said, and Shinji recognized the voice as Maya's. "She's got bio-contamination everywhere!"

Shinji didn't know how he was hearing her, but Ritsuko's voice came next.

"She's trying to contain the Angel?" she said.

Then Misato. "Rei, abandon Unit Zero! Get out of there!"

Shinji found himself mentally shouting the same thing, though he knew that no one could hear him, even if he weren't in this ethereal state. Rei's response to the Major only caused him to shout even more.

"I cannot," she said. "If I leave Unit Zero the AT-Field will cease to be. I will not let it."

"Rei!" he heard Misato's voice yell, in sync with his own. "Don't do it!"

The next words Shinji heard made his blood run cold.

"Her core is collapsing!" Maya shouted with frantic panic in her voice. "It's passed critical!"

Shinji watched as a sudden light enveloped Unit Zero, expanding outwards and enveloping everything that it touched. Shinji heard another voice, but it took him a second to realize that it was coming from his own ethereal self.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

---

Shinji opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. He was breathing hard and felt a cold sweat all over his body. He had been dreaming of something peaceful, something safe, but then something terrible had happened; something so terrible that it had transformed his dream beyond a nightmare and into something much worse. But… he couldn't recall what it had been.

Deciding that it was only a dream and couldn't have been too important, he began to study the ceiling before his eyes. He didn't recognize the ceiling, and it reminded him of when he first woke up after battling the third Angel. It was almost exactly the same now as it had been back then. He was lying down in a hospital bed, with his head elevated and a sheet pulled up to his chest. But most of all, the ceiling was unfamiliar. On top of that, he had no idea why he was there. Of course, there were a few differences, such as the fact that he was his school uniform, and that he could feel fading warmth passing through the sheets and his clothes on his left side…

"You are awake," Rei said.

Shinji looked over to his left, and saw Rei sitting in a chair next to the bed. Looking slightly downward, he saw the imprint on the sheets where she had leaned her head forward to sleep on. Glancing around, Shinji recognized the place as the nurse's office in school. Why was he there again? He looked back to Rei, who was staring at him with questioning eyes.

Shinji felt his mouth drop open as the memory slowly returned to him. Did that really… no, it couldn't have. He must have imagined it. But then why was he in the nurses office? He must have fainted when Rei said… but that just couldn't have happened!

"Um, Ayanami," Shinji said, sitting up straight.

"Yes, Ikari?" she asked.

"Uh, er, how did I get here?"

"I brought you down here."

"So we were on the roof?"

"Yes."

"Oh," Shinji said. He looked at Ayanami. Then he looked at the ceiling, towards the roof. He looked at Ayanami. Then he looked at the ceiling. And then he looked back at Ayanami. "Did you…?" he trailed off, mouthing wordlessly, still unable to comprehend what his memories told him.

"Did I what, Ikari?"

Shinji closed his mouth and tried to concentrate on one word at a time. The words came out slowly, making him sounding like he was a little bit dense in the attic. "Did. You. Tell. Me. That. You. Liked. Me?" His face turned immediately red after he said it, not able to believe that he had actually asked that.

"I did," Rei said, and then she stood up. Shinji wasn't sure, but she looked sad. Then she clasped her hands together in front of her and bowed to Shinji. "I apologize for taking your time, Ikari," she said, and then began walking for the door.

"Ayanami, wait!" Shinji yelled out before he could think, stretching his hand out toward her. He had always been such a coward, always running away. He always ran away from anything good that might have happened to him, because he was afraid of getting hurt. But now he had found something that he didn't want to leave, no matter what happened to him, and he felt that if he ran away this time, he would lose something precious to him forever. No more running.

Rei stopped at the door, but she didn't turn around.

"Ayanami, I… I've always been a coward. I always run away from my problems. I've run away from my father, from NERV, from Eva. I'm a horrible person sometimes. I've done things that could have hurt people I care about." Rei still hadn't turned around. Shinji stopped talking and took a deep breath. "I told you before that I piloted my Eva to protect you, so that you wouldn't get hurt any more. That's why I still pilot it. I worry that you might get hurt when we are fighting the angels. I always worry that I might not see you again. Even though I always run away, I… I don't want to run away from you. I know I'm not good enough, but…what I mean to say is… I like you too." There. He had said it, and his face was beet red.

Rei slowly turned around. When Shinji had fainted on the roof, she had taken it to mean that he did not return her feelings. She hadn't wanted to force her feelings upon him, and that was why she had made up her mind to leave him alone once he regained consciousness. But she had been wrong. Shinji did return her feelings, and she was… happy. More than happy. She had never felt like this before.

Shinji couldn't have been more surprised when he saw Rei's face. She was smiling at him, and tears were falling down her face. "I am glad," she said as the tears continued to slowly make their way down her face. "I am happy, but I am crying," she said, raising a hand to her face and remembered once seeing Shinji look as she did now. She felt the wetness of the tears on her cheek, and lowered the hand. "I understand now."

Shinji smiled, though he was still in shock from seeing Rei's reaction. If he had any doubts about how Rei felt for him, they were gone now. Slowly, Shinji climbed out of bed and walked over to Rei. "I'm glad for that," he said. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around Rei, and when she didn't resist and leaned into him he pulled her close to him. "Ayanami," he whispered, holding her tight, savoring her warmth and presence.

"Ikari," she said, closing her eyes and leaning against him. This feels good…

"Please, call me Shinji," he said, smiling tentatively at her, still nervous even in this intimate moment, and Rei nodded, wiping away some of the tears.

"I would like for you to call me Rei as well," she said, smiling at him.

"Alright," Shinji said, holding Rei tight.

"Shinji?" Rei said, looking at him.

"Yes, Rei?"

"Will you…" she paused, unused to the words her mouth was trying to form, "kiss me?"

Shinji felt butterflies in his stomach. He had never believed this moment would come, and now it was here. For him to hear Rei utter those words, it was the best thing that could have ever happened to him, though, still, he was nervous. Somehow, someway, he had conquered his fear for a time, and had told Rei how he had felt, and he was glad that he did. "Of course, Rei."

Shinji leaned in as Rei closed her eyes, and for the first time, Rei shared a kiss with the one person she truly loved.

While being awake, of course.

---

Kaworu coughed, spewing yellow liquid onto the floor in front of his face. He stayed there, on his hands and knees as he ejected the liquid from his lungs. As soon as the last of the LCL splashed onto the floor in front of him, he took a great gasp of air, and looked upwards. Some of the Council shivered as the boy turned his red-eyed gaze towards the seven men standing in a semi-circle in front of them. Even though he was powerless here, no member of SEELE could forget the fact that this white-haired boy had the power to crush them all.

Damn them, Kaworu thought to himself as he stared at the men swathed in shadow. He momentary snickered to himself at the thought. An angel, that was what they called him. A messenger of God. And he was cussing.

His smirk vanished as the moment of humor faded. This was not good. He needed to return, to help Shinji get out of there.

"You have disobeyed us," Keel Lorenz said, staring at the angel.

Kaworu said nothing, but instead turned his red eyes towards Chairman Keel and stared straight at him. Keel tried to flinch away from that gaze, but he controlled himself. All the members of SEELE had to. They couldn't show any weakness before Kaworu. They were his masters.

"You have been told many times not to use your powers unless specifically commanded by the Council to do so. We will not tolerate any more of this."

"I was just having a little fun," Kaworu said, smirking at the chairman. "What's wrong with that?"

"That is not the issue here," Keel said, glaring at Kaworu from behind his visor. "If you disobey us again, we will be forced to take disciplinary actions and restrict you even further."

Kaworu stared at the chairman for a moment longer, realizing that this banter was getting him no where. He didn't have time to waste. "Yes," Kaworu said, finally bowing his head and removing his gaze from the old men. "I understand."

Each member of SEELE visibly relaxed, releasing tension that they hadn't realized had crept into their bodies. Then each of them nodded, and promptly vanished.

Kaworu knew that they were bluffing, but he also knew that he need maintain a semblance of obedience. He needed these old men to at least think that he was under their control. The meaning for his existence depended on it.

Kaworu stood up and stared towards the ceiling, but seeing only darkness above him.

Shinji,he thought. Please get out of there. I'll be back to help you as soon as I can, but if not, I can only hope that you were able to return to the real world. I wait for the day that we meet again.

Kaworu closed his eyes, and saw Shinji's visage beneath his eyelids. It was an image that had been ingrained in his mind even before he became conscious of his existence, and Kaworu knew, beyond all doubt, that he had been created for Shinji.

Shinji…

---

The kiss wasn't deep; it wasn't full of passion or lust. There was no exchange of saliva or reaching out with the tongue. It was just the most basic form of a kiss, but as far as Shinji and Rei were concerned, it was the best thing to have ever happened to them, and it lasted for several minutes as they stood there in each other's embrace, before they finally broke it off.

Shinji looked at Rei after it was over, and she was smiling at him. "I love you, Rei Ayanami," he said, looking at her and pushing down his nervousness for a short time. "Ever since I first met you, I think, but took me a while to realize it."

"I believe it was the same for me as well," Rei said, leaning her head on Shinji's shoulder, savoring the closeness and the warmth she felt radiating through his shirt. "Always, you have always affected me differently than the others do. I just never understood why."

Shinji felt as if there was a glow in his heart, felt as if nothing could ever go wrong again, now that he knew that Rei loved him. As long as she was with him, he knew that he could handle anything. Feeling her stir, he moved back a bit to look at her again and found her staring at him. "Rei?"

"Shinji…" she said slowly. "Pilot Soryu…"

"There really is nothing between Asuka and me," he said, hurriedly. After everything that had happened today, he didn't want Rei to get the wrong idea. "She made me kiss her."

Rei shook her head. "That is not it," she said. She believed wholeheartedly what Shinji had told her on the roof, but something else was bothering her, making her feel slightly uneasy. "Pilot Soryu said that you had kissed others, besides her."

Total disbelief flooded Shinji's face. "That's not true!" Shinji said, waving his hands in front of him, as if that would help him defend himself against Asuka's claim. "You were the first person I ever kissed!"

A look of confusion crossed Rei's face. "I thought Pilot Soryu kissed you?"

Shinji froze, realizing that he had given away something he hadn't really wanted to tell Rei about. It might make her mad, to know that he had kissed her when she was asleep. He looked down at her, and saw her questioning red eyes, and knew that he couldn't lie to her even if he wanted to. He cared too much for her to ever do something like that.

"W-well," Shinji said, stuttering, "actually, I, um… had already kissed you before that…" he said, ending in a mumble.

Rei frowned for a moment, and then realization came over her face. "Does that mean that it wasn't a dream?" she asked him.

Shinji's eyes went wide, and he blushed from embarrassment. "You mean you were awake!?"

"No," Rei said, "at least, not completely, but I remember you coming into my apartment, pulling my blankets over me, and then you kissed me. It made me feel... good." She paused for a moment. "I have heard that dreams can be effected by things happening in the waking world. Perhaps that was what happened."

Shinji was too stunned by the fact that Rei had experienced that first kiss with him to actually say anything. He just stood there with his mouth slightly ajar, trying to put together the jumbled thoughts in his head. This had been one eventful day so far, and Shinji felt that it would continue. He could only pray that the events to come would be pleasant ones.

Suddenly the school nurse walked into the room, looking down at a clipboard and wearing a lab coat not unlike that of Dr. Akagi. With her dark hair in a bun behind her head and small wisps of hair trailing down from it, she studied her clipboard intently, looking just beneath the glasses in front of her brown eyes.. Shinji, upon seeing the nurse enter, sprang away from Rei as fast as he could before the nurse could look up and see them standing together like that. He was surprised when he realized that his actions nearly mirrored Rei's own.

The nurse looked up from her clipboard, and smiled. "Oh, I see you're awake now. That's good. You can go back to class in a second, but I'd like to check up on you a bit, first."

Shinji nodded, trying to conceal his embarrassment that someone had walked in on him and Rei together like that. He may love her, but there are just some things that should be kept between two people. He waited as the nurse took a few tests, such as his temperature, his blood pressure, and a few other things. Whenever the nurse wasn't looking, he snuck a glance at Rei and smiled, seeing her waiting patiently for him.

When the nurse had concluded all her tests, she nodded to Shinji. "Alright, you can go back to class now, but you seem to have a weaker constitution than normal today, so I'd recommend avoiding anything too strenuous or surprising for the rest of the day." She winked at Shinji and Rei, causing Shinji to blush, and causing Rei to just stare at the nurse, not comprehending what was being implied.

Kumiko Izumi, 26, single, and the school nurse, was very astute. She had some small notion as to what could have surprised Shinji enough to make him faint, especially when it was Rei who had come to get her. She smiled and adjusted the large round glasses resting on the bridge of her nose, before letting out a little laugh at Shinji's reaction to her comment, and then held out her arm in the direction of the door. "I give you two my official approval to return to class, Mr. Ikari and Miss Ayanami. Hurry up, you're already late enough as it is."

Shinji bowed his head slightly and thanked Miss Izumi before he and Rei left her office and headed back to class.

Kumiko smiled as she watched them leave. Finally, she thought to herself, still smiling. Those Children deserve a chance to be happy together like this. Then she looked back down at the clipboard she was studying.

As the resident nurse at the school that the Children attended in Tokyo-3, Kumiko had been briefed by Dr. Akagi herself about the Children and exactly what they did, so that she could care for them if the need ever arose. She had also been ordered to inform Dr. Akagi if any of the Children ever did come to her, and her report was laying on the clipboard she had in front of her.

She looked over the report another time, brushing a stray lock of brown hair that had escaped her braid, and thought about her encounter with the children just now. She did have a good understanding what the Children did, knowing about sync ratios and such. However, knowing all that, Kumiko had a pretty good idea that the people at NERV wouldn't be too comfortable with the relationship that Kumiko suspected between Shinji and Rei. They might try to keep them apart because of something silly like how a relationship might affect a sync ratio.

She stood there, tapping the clipboard and thinking about it. Those Children had saved Tokyo-3 and--from what she understood--the world many times. That was so much responsibility to place on the shoulders of a couple of young teens. They truly did deserve a chance to be happy.

Reports got lost all the time, after all.

---

Shinji and Rei walked down the hallway back towards their classroom in silence, both of them looking at the ground. Miss Izumi's sudden interruption had jerked Shinji back to his normal ultra-shy and conservative self, while Rei was contemplating exactly why her reaction to the nurses entrance had been identical to Shinji's.

Shinji glanced at Rei, and felt himself smile. Truly, this had to be the best day in his life. Maybe someone up there was finally repaying for his hard work in saving the human race from the Angels. On second thought, that didn't sound quite right, but regardless, Shinji mentally thanked whatever cosmic power had brought him and Rei together.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Rei beat him to it.

"Shinji," she said as she looked up from the ground and turned her head towards him.

Shinji looked up from the ground as well. "What is it, Rei?" he asked.

"Back in the nurse's office," she began, "when Miss Izumi came in, I felt something odd."

Shinji had figured as much when Rei had jumped away from him back then, and he nodded for Rei to continue.

"When she came in, I felt… I am not sure. Afraid, I suppose. I didn't want her to see us together, but I do not know why. I am not ashamed of being with you, Shinji. It is just that I don't want someone else to see the me that I allow you to see."

Shinji smiled. Her interpretation was quite different, but Shinji though he had a pretty good idea of what she meant. "I think that's called embarrassment, Rei."

Rei cocked her head. "But why should my being with you be a cause for embarrassment?"

"I think it might because it would cause others to see you differently than they currently do. Everyone cares about the way they are seen by others."

"But I have never cared how others have viewed me before," Rei said, still confused.

Shinji shrugged, still walking. "Perhaps that's because you've never acted differently than the way people expected you to act. Well, at least differently enough that they would notice. Or, perhaps it's just something that you don't want other people to know. Something you want to keep to yourself because it's precious to you. That is how I feel, you know." He smiled sheepishly. "Also, Touji and Kensuke would tease me to no end if they found out."

Rei thought about this. Both aspects of what he said made sense. It did seem logical. Before she began to feel things for Shinji, she had never tried hiding things from people, never had to really consciously control her actions. She had never lied to the commander before. It did seem true. She didn't want people to see her differently. Shinji was the only one she had ever felt truly comfortable around, even more so than the commander. While she still seemed to act cold and aloof to other people, she wanted to be warm and close to Shinji. Perhaps, in time, her outward actions towards others would change, but for now, Shinji was enough. He really was the only one she wanted to share things with.

"I see," Rei said, nodding. "When we return to the class room, may we have an appearance as if nothing has happened? I… do not feel comfortable with the idea of revealing my feelings towards you in front of others."

Shinji nodded. "Of course Rei." He completely agreed with her. If it had been any other way, Shinji was sure that Touji and Kensuke would never let him hear the end of it, and that's not even mentioning how Asuka might react. He shivered slightly at the latter thought.

The reached the door to the classroom and stopped, staring at one another. They both smiled.

"Let us return to our studies, Ikari," Rei said.

Shinji nodded. "Of course, Ayanami."

---

"So the activation tests will take place tomorrow?" Misato asked, sipping her coffee. Although it didn't pack the punch that her ritual Yebisu did, the caffeine would have to do for now. No alcohol, my ass, Misato thought to herself as took another sip, remembering what she had been told when she requested her morning drink.

"Yes," Ritsuko answered, leaning back in the couch across from Misato's chair, while holding her own coffee. "I think it might be a bit too soon. His sync scores still aren't as high as we'd hoped."

"No need to discuss why, I assume." Misato said, bitterness creeping into her voice.

Ritsuko just shook her head and sighed. "Just be happy that his sister is getting the medical treatment she needs. It's not like we can just open up NERV's facilities to just anyone, you know."

"Whatever," Misato said, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. "I don't want to talk about this now."

"Alright then," Ritsuko said. "What do you want to talk about? We've still got some time to kill before we're needed again."

"I don't know," Misato replied, taking another sip.

"Well then," Ritsuko said, getting ready to pry for some information, "how is Shinji doing?"

"He's doing fine," Misato said. "A hell of a lot better than I would have expected after the Twelfth Angel. Asuka is still bullying him, etc. It's pretty much the same old stuff. Oh, he's been visiting Touji's sister in the hospital, too."

"That's nice," Ritsuko said, not really caring about that. "I don't suppose he's started showing any interest in a particular girl now, has he? He is that age, you know."

"Yeah, I know, but I don't think that he thinks he's ready for something like that. I mean, you've seen how self conscious he is. And after his father… I still think he's afraid of getting involved with someone like that because he thinks he might be hurt."

"The hedgehog's dilemma again," Ritsuko said, sighing. "He's going to have to grow out of that sometime."

"There is hope," Misato said. "While I don't think that Shinji will be the one to start the relationship, if someone else were to show interest in him and confess to him, instead of the other way around, I think it might just work out."

Ritsuko smiled. "It sounds like you have some inside information, Misato." She leaned forwards, propping her arms up on her knees.

"And what if I do?" Misato said, grinning slightly at Ritsuko.

"Come one Misato," Ritsuko said. "You won't be able to hide something like that for long, I know you. Just tell me."

Misato looked at Ritsuko for a second longer, and then sighed. "Okay, alright," she said, and she leaned close to Ritsuko. "It's Asuka."

"Asuka?" Ritsuko said, only slightly surprised, though she knew she shouldn't be. She hadn't really expected Misato to say that Rei had been showing interest in Shinji. "Well they do say that opposites attract."

"Yes," Misato said, nodding. "I think it might just be infatuation from living together for so long though, but who can say what it could become in the future? Really, I think both Asuka and Shinji need it."

"Yes, well," Ritsuko said, feeling slightly relieved. This could work to her advantage. "If they do become involved… Since they are living together, I trust that you will make sure that certain things do not happen."

"Of course, Ritsuko, don't worry!"

"Coming from someone who skipped classes for an entire month--a month, Misato--in order to 'have some fun' with Kaji? I think my worries are well justified. A pregnancy could very well put one of the Children out of action, and that's not something we can chance."

"Don't worry, Ritsuko," Misato said again, smiling and waving her hand as if dismissing the issue. "I'll make sure nothing happens."

"You'd better," Ritsuko said, leaning back into the couch and taking another sip of coffee.

"Poor Rei," Misato said. "She might feel left out if Shinji and Asuka get together."

Ritsuko dropped her coffee.

"This is great," she said as she stood up, looking at the spill on her pants. "Just great."

"Oh, here Ritsuko," Misato said, handing her the napkins sitting on the coffee table between them.

"Thanks," Ritsuko said, patting herself with the napkins, trying to soak up as much of the spilt coffee as she could. "I'll be back Misato," she said, knowing that no amount of padding would soak up the entirety of the spill. "I've got to change out of these."

"Alright," Misato said. "See you when you get back."

Ritsuko nodded to Misato and walked out the door. She kept her lab coat closed. The location of the spill made it seem as if she'd had a different kind of accident.

As she walked down the hall towards her temporary room, Ritsuko mental berated her self for dropping the coffee. Misato's comment didn't mean anything. She'd said tons of things like that concerning Rei many times before. What she'd seen on that tape must be affecting the way she perceived things. Misato's comment didn't mean anything.

"Oh! Dr. Akagi!"

Ritsuko stopped and turned to regard the young ensign that had called to her. "What is it?" she snapped.

The young man shrank back. He felt that he had caught the doctor at a bad time, nevertheless, he had to carry out his orders. "I-I was ordered to bring you this, Dr. Akagi," he said, stuttering, as he handed Ritsuko's a clip board. "Apparently there are some odd power fluctuations being detected in Unit Three."

Ritsuko grabbed the clipboard and looked it over quickly, still upset with the thought that Rei and Shinji might become involved. "It's nothing," she said sharply, nearly throwing the clipboard back at the ensign. "The power fluctuations are well within normal ranges for a recently completed Evangelion Unit." Then she turned and left the ensign, striding down the hall and towards her room.

She had barely even looked at the clipboard, due to her upset state, and she hadn't been thinking clearly or objectively at the moment. If she had, she would have noticed something disturbing in the power fluctuations coming from the Eva, and that they seemed to form a distinct pattern.

A pattern strangely similar to that of Angel.

---

Class ended without incident. Kensuke had been too hung up over tonight's outing with Kaji to read any special meaning into Shinji's returning to class late, with Rei, no less. Without Touji around, Kensuke seemed a lot less excitable about such things.

"Alright, so, Shinji," Kensuke began talking as soon as they were dismissed. "When should I be at your apartment tonight?"

"Um," Shinji said, putting his things away, "I'm still not sure. Just be there around eight, for now. I'll call you if it's going to be earlier."

"Alright!" Kensuke said, looking upwards throwing a fist into the air. "Eight o'clock it is." He looked back down at Shinji. "I'll be there at eight, but first I need to go and prepare." He dashed off, speeding out the door so fast that it rattled from the sudden displacement of air as he passed.

Shinji shook his head. Kaji was just taking them out somewhere. What could Kensuke possible need to prepare? He was really excited. Perhaps it was because Kaji worked for NERV. Kensuke was probably getting ready to grill Kaji for information.

Suddenly Shinji felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned around slowly. Asuka and Hikari were standing behind him.

"Shinji," Asuka said, starring at him intently, without removing her hand from his shoulder.

"Ah, yes, Asuka?" Shinji asked, smiling nervously.

"Why were you and Ayanami gone so long?"

"Well, you see…" he trailed off, looking slightly nervous.

Asuka's eyes bored into him. "Well?"

Shinji sighed and hung his head. "I fainted."

Asuka stared at him for a moment, and then burst out in laughter. "Oh, Shinji," she laughed, "that's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard."

"Asuka," Shinji said, wincing as she slammed her hand up and down on his shoulder in laughter. "That hurts…"

"Oh, sorry Shinji," she said, giggling. "Wow, that's good. You fainted when wonder girl was trying to talk to you!" She tried to cover her mouth as the giggles started getting louder.

"Well, anyway," she said, when the giggles had finally faded away. "Since Kaji is taking you and your friends out tonight, I'm going to go and stay at Hikari's, alright?"

"Alright, Asuka," Shinji said, rubbing his shoulder where she had been hitting him.

She turned around and started walking away with Hikari. "See you," she said, waving a hand behind her.

"See you," Shinji said as she walked away.

When she vanished out the door, Shinji let out a sigh of relief. Good, he thought. She didn't suspect anything. It's not like I actually lied to her. I didn't even omit part of the truth. She asked why I took so long, and I told her. It's simple. Even in his relief, though, Shinji felt a little anxiety. I still feel like I lied to her, though. But it's no big deal. I mean, she's lied to me before, and I've lied to her… this is just a little bit bigger. I feel guilty that I didn't tell her, even though I don't want her to know. He sighed. She was acting friendlier than usually, like she has been the past few days. I wonder what's up?

"Ikari?"

Shinji turned and saw Rei standing next to him, holding her bag in front of her. "Yes, Ayanami?"

"You were standing there staring at nothing. Everyone is gone."

"Eh?" Shinji looked up, and it was true. They were the only two left in the classroom. "Oh," Shinji said. "I guess everyone left while I was thinking to myself."

"I am still here…" Rei said.

Shinji looked at Rei. "Where you waiting for me?"

Rei nodded.

Shinji smiled. "That makes me happy," he said.

Rei smiled back at him. Shinji looked at her and the sight made him feel happier, even though he was still on cloud nine and reveling in the fact that Rei loved him too. She was his girlfriend. Mentally, he said a silent prayer thanking whatever God had blessed him so. He felt water building up in his eyes, and blinked to stop the tears.

"Shinji?" Rei asked, stepping closer to him and raising a hand to his face.

"I'm sorry," Shinji said as he closed his eyes and a few tears started to run down his face. "I'm just so happy. I never thought this day would come. I was afraid that you didn't feel the same way about me, and that I'd never get to be with you. I was always afraid to tell you how I felt, because of this. I didn't want to get hurt if you rejected me."

"Shinji…" Rei said, softly. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, white handkerchief. She raised it to Shinji's face and gently began wiping away the tears.

Shinji opened his eyes and smiled. "Thank you, Rei," he said as he stopped crying.

"You are going somewhere with Inspector Kaji and Aida tonight, correct?" Rei asked as she returned the handkerchief to her pocket.

Shinji nodded, wiping the remains of the tears away. "Yeah. He wanted to take me, Kensuke, and Touji out somewhere tonight, but Touji isn't here, so it's just going to be me, Kaji, and Kensuke."

"Shinji…" Rei began to say, but then she stopped. She wanted to tell Shinji about Suzuhara . She wanted to tell him that Suzuhara had been chosen as the pilot of Unit Three. But Suzuhara had asked her not to. He had wanted to tell Shinji himself, and Rei thought that it would be easier for Shinji to hear it from Suzuhara rather than her. So, as much as it pained her to keep a secret like this from Shinji, she kept silent.

"Yes, Rei?" Shinji said, looking at her, when she didn't say anything more.

"It is nothing," Rei said, averting her eyes. She could not lie to him when she was looking at him. "I just wanted to spend more time with you, that is all."

"I see," Shinji said, smiling. He looked at the clock on the wall. "Well, I we have about two hours before I should probably get back to Misato's apartment. Is there anything that you want to do until then?"

Rei thought about his question for a moment, but she couldn't think of anything beyond wanting to be with him. As long as she was with him, anything was fine. "I do not know. I just want to be with you."

"I see. Well, then. Would you like to go for a walk around town."

Rei looked into Shinji's eyes and smiled. "That would be preferable."

Shinji smiled to himself, hearing Rei's speech. "Alright then, let's go."

They each grabbed their book bags, left the classroom, and they walked out of the school. Together.

---

"Hey girls!" Kaji called out.

The trio of technicians walking down the hallway in front of him stopped and turned around and looked at him as he raced down the corridor to catch up with them, a small package under his arm.

"Mr. Kaji," one of them said, looking him up and down as he stopped before them. "Fancy seeing you here." She smiled slyly at him, face framed by her long, sandy hair.

"Good afternoon, Miss Ooi," Kaji said, flashing a grin her way. He turned his trademark smile to the other two ladies present. "And good afternoon to you too, Miss Agano and Miss Mogami."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Kaji," Kaede said, smiling. The shortest of the three, she had brown eyes and chestnut colored hair that didn't fall below the base of her neck.

"Yes," Audi Mogami said, nodding. "Good afternoon." She adjusted her red-rimmed glasses on the bridge of her nose, reminiscent of the way the commander always did. She had bobbed purple hair falling just past her shoulders. She had a small mole below the left corner of her smiling mouth.

Satsuki Ooi stepped forward. "I hope your not trying to flirt with us, Mr. Kaji," she began, piercing him with her gray eyes and flipping her long hair as she did so. "The major warned us about you."

Kaji's smile began to slip. "Is that so?" he asked.

All three of the girls nodded their heads.

"Ah," Kaji said, quickly shifting into his classic "it's not my fault ladies adore me" pose, closed eyes with two fingers of one hand on his temple, and the other hand on his hip, as he angled his head downward, like a sad prince. "I guess she just can't resist me. Even after we broke it off, she still can't bear to see me with other ladies." He shrugged and opened his eyes. "Huh? Girls?"

He looked down the hallway and saw the girls chatting together as they continued on their way. "Wait!" He called after them and ran to catch up.

They stopped once again, and turned to face him.

"What is it you want, Mr. Kaji?" Satsuki asked, looking at him. "Our break is almost over."

Kaede nodded. "Yes, and I promised Maya that I would be back early."

Satsuki rose an eyebrow at him. "We don't have time for your antics."

Antics? Kaji thought. My antics? What is it with the women around here? Rather than voicing his thoughts, Kaji just gave an exasperated smile and nodded. "Yes, yes, I understand," he said, putting a hand on the package clutched beneath his arm. "The truth is that I have something here I need analyzed, and I was wondering if I could impose on you girls to help me out?"

The three looked at each other. "That would be Aoi's department," Satsuki said, looking at her purple haired friend, who nodded in agreement.

Kaede nodded as well. "Defiantly. Aoi is the best at analytical jobs."

"Alright," Kaji said, shifting his gaze to Aoi. "Miss Mogami, do you think you could help me out?"

Aoi looked thoughtful for a moment, before nodding slightly. She turned to her friends. "You go on ahead, I'll only be a moment."

Satsuki and Kaede looked a bit torn about leaving their friend with a notorious womanizer, but Aoi could take care of her self. "Alright, see ya," they said, before continuing their way down the hallway.

"Now," Aoi said, turning to Kaji and regarding him through her glasses. "What is it that you want of me, Mr. Kaji?"

Kaji looked her up and down and thought, Many things, but decided that he was already on thin ice as it was with these girls and thought it best not to chance it. So he nodded and brought out the package beneath his arm as he began to unwrap it's contents. "What I would like--" he said as he reached into the packing foam to draw out an object.

"--is for you to tell me--"

He pulled out a lump of white, glassy metal. Aoi adjusted her glasses to get a better look at it.

"--what exactly it was--"

He turned the lump to one side, showing a slight indent where the hatch door and frame exterior had fused together.

"--that could do this."

He turned the lump, and an impossibly flat, completely smooth side appeared. He handed the lump to her.

Aoi stared at the lump, and looked it over. Rotating it slowly. Suddenly her eyebrows shot up as she noticed a small detail, nearly rendered illegible because of how badly the lump was melted.

Kaji smiled slight, because he knew what she had just seen.

The letters "UNI" ended abruptly when they met the edge of the impossibly smooth plane of the lump. The edge of a "T" was just barely visible, as if the rest of the letter had simply been sliced off. After seeing that, Kaji had realized that that wasn't just a flat edge of the entry plug.

It was a cut.

---

"Let's stop here," Shinji said as they passed a small park.

Rei nodded. "Alright," she said.

They walked over to a small park bench together, and sat down, looking over the park and the children playing there. Shinji felt Rei's presence beside him, looking forward at the children playing together in the park, and he realized that he didn't know much about Rei's past. Did she ever play in a park like this?

"Rei," he asked, and she turned to look at him. "Do you like to swing?"

"Swing?" she asked, confused.

Shinji pointed to the vacant swing set in the playground, just a few meters from the sandbox where the children were now playing.

Rei looked at the swing set before saying, "I do not know. I have never done it before."

"You've never been to a playground before?" Shinji said, surprised, even though he had expected the answer.

Rei shook her head. "I do not know. I have no memories from before I was nine."

"What?!" Shinji said, eyes wide. He hadn't known this.

Rei looked away from Shinji and clasped her hands in her lap. "Beyond the five years I have spent in NERV, I remember nothing. The first things I remember are the Commander, Dr. Akagi, and Eva. "

"My father and Ritsuko?" Shinji asked.

Rei nodded. "For a long time, I knew nothing else. Even when I transferred into the school here, I did not know anybody, and nobody knew me." She didn't know why, but it felt good to be telling Shinji these things. Things that she had never told anyone. But even though it felt good to tell him these things, it also made her feel lonely. She remembered all the time she had spent alone. On top of that, that nine year gap in her memory was like a pit of blackness and loneliness that threatened to suck her in sometimes. She wanted to tell him more… but there were things she could tell him, not yet. She didn't know how he would react if he heard them.

She wanted to be with him always, and never be alone anymore. She hadn't realized it at the, but even when she had been with the Commander she had still been alone. It was only when…

"Rei?" Shinji asked in a concerned voice, interrupting her thoughts. "Are you alright?"

"Ahh…" Rei put a hand to her face and felt tears brimming in her eyes. "I…" She tried to say something, but the words wouldn't come out. There was a lump in her throat that she couldn't get any words past, and she felt tears still building in her eyes. Why… why do I feel this? She fell forward onto Shinji, feeling erratic breathing as she desperately tried to regain her composure.

Shinji hesitated for a second, then he wrapped his arms around her.

"Shinji…" he heard her whisper.

"Yes, Rei?" he asked.

She didn't answer, but instead pressed closer to him. Shinji felt her shaking, and tightened his grip on her, keeping her secure. I didn't realize… he thought. I always thought I was lonely, because I didn't have any parents to care for me. But I had my teachers, and then when I came here, I had Misato, and then Kensuke, and Touji, and even Asuka. But Rei… She's never had anyone but my father… and I know better than anyone how that must have been. He held her close, just sitting there. "It's alright, Rei," he said, softly. "Don't worry. I'm with you." I won't let you be lonely anymore.

Slowly, she stopped shaking, and her breathing slowed, and Shinji pulled back from her to look at her face. "Are you alright?" he asked.

Rei nodded. "I am sorry," she said, whipping away the remains of tears that were on her face. "I did not mean to--"

"It's alright," Shinji said. "It happens to everyone sometimes, especially when you suppress your emotions."

"I… I see," Rei said.

They sat there in silence for a moment, before Shinji stood up.

"Shinji?" Rei asked, looking up at him.

"Come here," he said, offering a hand out to her.

Rei felt her face flush slightly as she reached out to grab his hand. She wondered why she was blushing now, touching only his hand, when she had just had her whole body pressed against his. She stood up.

Shinji didn't let go of her hand as he lead her away from the bench and over to the swing set. They stopped in front of one of the swings, idly hanging there, waiting to be used.

"Shinji?" Rei asked again.

In response, he gestured to the wooden seat of the swing. "You said you've never been swinging before," he said. "Why don't you give it a try?"

Hesitantly, Rei sat down on the swing and grasped the ropes on either side of her, and waited. After a few moments, she stared at Shinji. "I do not find this very entertaining."

Shinji had to suppress a laugh as he looked down at Rei. "That's not how you swing, Rei," he said, smiling. "Here, I'll help you get started." He walked behind her and placed his hands on her back. "Hold on." Then, he gave her a push.

Rei felt the air move past her as she moved forward on the swing, only to have the direction suddenly reverse as she swing back. Then she felt Shinji hands on her back once more as he gave her another push forward, propelling her faster and further forward into the air. Once again she felt herself moving backwards, and once again Shinji's gentle hands propelled her forwards.

Yes, she thought, as she fell backwards once again. When I am alone, I don't make any progress, but when I am with Shinji, I learn so many things, whether sad or happy. He taught me to cry… and how to smile. He helps me move forward. She felt his hands press up against her back again, getting ready to push her forward again, and she felt an unfamiliar but pleasant feeling building up in her chest. She closed her eyes.

I want to keep moving forward.

Shinji gave her another push, and as she flew forward through the air, Rei did something that she had never done before.

She laughed.

---

"Well, Miss Mogami?" Kaji said, looking over he shoulder and down onto the computer monitors she was sitting in front of. "What do you think?"

"Could you stop that?" She asked, irritated. "I'm missing my shift for this, you know."

"Yes, yes," Kaji said, "and I am eternally grateful."

Aoi let out an irritated grumble, her face illuminated by the computer screens as she typed away. "Why do you want to know about this anyway?"

"Why are you missing your shift to help me find out?"

"Because I'm intrigued."

"So am I."

Aoi let out a sigh and stopped typing. She supposed that was all she was going to get out of him. She spun her chair around. "I don't know much yet, but whatever cut through that was sharper and more precise than anything I've seen or heard of. I'm running an analysis through the MAGI. I'll know more when it's complete."

Kaji sighed. He knew he shouldn't have expected much. "Well, how long do you think it will be before you know what it is?"

"I won't know exactly what it is, but I should have something for you tomorrow morning." She stood up out of her chair and pushed Kaji away from her. "Until then, Mr. Kaji, I suggest you let me get back to work."

"Alright," Kaji said, stepping aside for her to leave. "Oh, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't tell anybody about this. At least not yet."

Aoi flashed him a sly smile and adjusted her glasses again. "Of course not, so long as you make up for the gap that's going to appear in my paycheck."

"Ah… right," Kaji said, keeping a smile on his face. He looked down at his watch. "Well, would you look at the time. I've got to get going. Can't keep Shinji and his friend waiting forever!" And he dashed out of the room before Aoi could blackmail him anymore.

She sat back down smiling slightly to herself, and brought up the window showing the MAGI's progress on analyzing the cut of melted entry plug Kaji had brought in. The light from the monitor reflected in her glasses as she starred at the screen, watching the percentage bar slowly fill up. "Yes," she said to herself, quietly. "I'm very intrigued."

---

After he recovered from the shock of hearing Rei laugh, Shinji smiled, and slowly let Rei's swinging come to a stop.

"I guess you like the swing then," he said, smiling.

Rei looked up at him, smiling, and nodded. "Yes, it seems I do."

"I've never heard you laugh before," Shinji said, as he helped her off the swing.

"I have never laughed before," Rei told him as she brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face. "That was… rather enjoyable."

"I knew you'd like it." Shinji glanced up at the clock that stood on a lamp post on the edge of the park. "I really should be getting back now," he said sadly. "Kaji and Kensuke will be wondering where I am."

Rei just nodded and squeezed Shinji's hand. "It is alright. I am glad I could spend time with you."

Shinji smiled. "So am I."

They stood their in silence for a few moments, before Shinji said. "Do you want me to walk you home?"

Rei shook her head. "I thought perhaps I should go visit Touji's sister, as you suggested." She was sure that was something that would make Shinji happy, since she knew he felt responsible for the girl's hospitalization.

Shinji smiled. "I'm sure she would really like that. She was really interested when I told her about you."

They fell silent again and just stood there.

"Well," Shinji finally said. "I guess I'll see you later."

Rei nodded. "I will see you at school tomorrow, Shinji."

Slowly, they let go of each others hands, and turned to go their own way.

---

"Ah, there he is," Kaji said as he and Kensuke saw Shinji walk up to the apartment building. They were waiting outside by his car. "What took you so long?"

Shinji hesitated before answering. "I was talking with a friend," he said.

Kaji grinned. This friend wouldn't happen to be a certain blue-haired girl of our mutual acquaintance?" He laughed when he saw Shinji's face turn red. "Anyways, Shinji, Mr. Aida" he said, "let's go. Get in the car."

"Where are we going?" Shinji asked when he pulled the passenger side door shut behind him.

"Yeah," Kensuke said, "Where?"

"Where else?" Kaji said as he started up the car. "We're going to go check out the ladies."

"Yes!" Kensuke said, causing both Shinji and Kaji to stare at him for a second in surprise.

"Uh, Kaji," did you run this by Misato?"

"Sort of," Kaji said, cheery. "I managed to ward off most of her wrath. I wanted to take you two to a Host Club, but Misato would really have taken my head if she heard about that. So I chose the next best thing. There is this nice little bar Misato and I visit often. It's the perfect place to visit when you are feeling down, or when you want to pick up some babes." He grinned. "Don't tell Misato that last part, or I won't be able to go there anymore."

Shinji smiled. "Of course."

"So," Kensuke said from the back seat. "Mr. Kaji. Are you gonna let us drink?"

Kaji snorted. "Are you kidding? Misato would really take my head if she learned that I let you have alcohol." He glanced at Shinji. "I'm surprised you haven't snuck a drink, what with all that beer Misato has in her house."

Shinji smiled. "I accidentally drank some of it once." He twisted his mouth in distaste as he remembered the event. "I didn't like it too much."

Kaji laughed. "Well, I supposed it's an acquired taste, of sorts."

"So no sake?" Kensuke said, sounding slightly disappointed.

"No, no sake," Kaji said, turning a corner. "Really, Mr. Aida, I didn't think you'd be so excited over the prospect of a little drink."

Kensuke turned slightly red, and Kaji laughed. "And no going off alone with any of the girls we meet. That's my job. Ah, here we are." The car pulled into a parking space and Kaji stopped the engine. "Let's go." He opened his door and stepped out, grabbing a small parcel that had been sitting in the seat between him and Shinji.

The bar they entered was a particularly fancy one. Fancy tables were spread throughout the room, and the bar itself was polished to a shine, with bottles of every shape, size and color lining the wall behind it. "Ah," Kaji said as he entered the bar. "It's good to be back." He nodded to the two boys. "Come on, let's get a seat at the bar."

As they approached the bar, the bartender, a man in his late twenties with short cropped black hair and dark eyes suddenly waved to Kaji. Kaji waved back. "How's it going Minoru?" Kaji said to the man.

"Well enough, Kaji. Haven't seen you around here for a few weeks. What's been keeping you?"

"Work, girls, the usual." Kaji grinned.

Minoru grinned back, putting down the glass he had just cleaned. "I'll bet." He turned his attention to Shinji and Kensuke. "You are your friends?"

"This is Shinji and his friend Kensuke," Kaji introduced them.

"Ah, so you're Shinji," Minoru said, leaning forward on the bar. "I've heard all about you from Kaji and Misato. Great job saving us from them angels or whatever they are."

"Ah, thank you," Shinji said, blushing slightly.

"Your welcome."

"What about me?" Kensuke spoke up. "Did she say anything about me? Like how I might be a good Eva pilot."

Minoru gave an apologetic grin to Kensuke. "Sorry, no she hasn't."

Kensuke's drooped his head in depression.

Minoru turned his attention back to Kaji. "So what brings you here today?"

"Oh, we're just having a guy's night out. You know, checking out the scene."

"I see," Minoru said, nodding. "Well then," he gestured for them to take a seat at the bar. "What can I get you gentlemen for drinks?"

"Ah, give me a… Black Russian. Yeah, a Black Russian.," Kaji said as he and Kensuke took seats on either side of Shinji. "And these two will have…" He looked at Shinji and Kensuke on the seats to his right. "Um…. Well, surprise them. Nothing alcoholic, mind you. If Misato hears that I gave them alcohol…" He made a throat slitting motion across his neck, and Minoru nodded.

"Alright," he said.

"Thanks," Kaji said to him as he walked off to make their drinks.

Kaji turned to Shinji and Kensuke. "Well now, while we're waiting for our drinks, I've got something here for Shinji. He produced the package from beneath his coat."

"Huh?" Shinji said, looking at the parcel wrapped in brown paper. "What is it?"

"Yeah," Kensuke said. "What is it?"

"It's just a little something I whipped together. Open in it."

Shinji tore open the brown package and looked at it's contents.

"This is…"

"Yup," Kaji said, nodding.

Shinji held up the dark stained wooden plaque with beveled edges and looked at it. In its center the handles to Unit 0's melted entry plug had been affixed. Shinji looked closer and saw the burn marks from where he had scorched his hands trying to open it up. He saw some writing below the handles and turned his attention to it.

Ikari Shinji

Someone who's gone above and beyond to protect the people he loves.

Shinji lowered the plaque and looked at Kaji. "I don't know what to say," he said. "But thank you."

"It was the least I could do," Kaji said. "After all, if it weren't for you, I doubt any of us would still be here."

"Yes, but thank you all the same."

"Sweet Shinji!" Kensuke said, beside him. "Is this part of an entry plug?"

"Yup," Shinji said, holding up the plaque for Kensuke to see.

"Awesome…" Kensuke said quietly. "What are these black marks?"

Kaji looked at Shinji. "You mean you haven't told your friends about that time?"

Shinji blushed. "Well, no…"

"What hasn't he told us?" Kensuke asked.

Kaji smiled. "Well," he said as he slapped Shinji on the back. "Your friend here nearly scorched off his hands to save Miss Ayanami when she was trapped inside an entry plug."

"It wasn't really anything…" Shinji said, embarrassed.

"Not at all," Kaji said. "It takes a lot to endure that amount of pain for someone. Those burn marks are still on your hands, if I recall correctly."

Shinji opened his hands and laid them on the table. There was the faint outline of an oval shaped burn where he had grasped onto the piping hot mettle of the handle.

Kensuke whistled. "Wow, Shinji," he said. "If only Touji were here. We've been trying to get you to confess that you like Ayanami when the proof has been right there all along! "

"Kensuke!" Shinji said, closing his hands.

Kaji laughed. "Now, now, Mr. Aida," he said to Kensuke. "Don't tease him. His having a hard enough time trying to create his harem as it is."

"Kaji!"

Kaji laughed again.

"What's this?" Minoru said as he arrived back in front of the trio with their drinks. "Are you teasing him, Kaji?"

"You know I wouldn't do that, Minoru," Kaji said as Minoru gave him his drinks.

"Sure you wouldn't," Minoru said. "Here's your Black Russian." He turned to Shinji and pushed a light green, opaque drink towards him. "For you, a Non-alcoholic grasshopper. I hope you like mint? Good." He turned to Kensuke, and placed a drink overflowing with fruit. "And for you, a virgin blueberry daiquiri."

"Thanks, Minoru." Kaji said, taking a sip.

"No problem." Minoru's eyes shifted beyond the three boys for a second, and they heard a door swing shut. "There he is," Minoru muttered to himself. "He always shows up around this time."

"Hm?" Kaji said, looking up at Minoru.

Minoru gestured behind Kaji and the boys. "That old guy," he said, shaking his head. "He comes in here every day, orders the exact same thing. He'll sit there for fifteen minutes, then pay for his drink, and leave, drink untouched."

"Sounds like a real weirdo," Kaji said, taking a sip.

"I thank you for your sentiments, Mr. Kaji," a voice said, and Kaji looked up from his drink just before erupting into a furious fit of coughs after nearly inhaling the rest of his drink.

"Subcommander!" Kaji said, pounding his chest. "Sorry, Sir. I didn't realize."

Fuyutsuki laughed and rose a hand to forestall Kaji's apology. "It's alright. I suppose it is a little weird." He looked down. "Good Evening, Mr. Ikari," he said, nodding to Shinji, who nervously nodded back. He'd never met the subcommander outside of work before. He hadn't expected him to be so… friendly. "Who's your friend?"

"Ah," Shinji said, turning to look at Kensuke. "This is my friend, Kensuke Aida from school."

"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Aida," Fuyutsuki said, bending over and holding out his hand to Kensuke. "My name is Kouzou Fuyutsuki, I'm--"

"NERV's Subcommander!" Kensuke said, stars in his eyes, as he grasped Fuyutsuki's hand and vigorously began to shake it. "I can't believe I finally get to meet you!"

"Ah… yes," Fuyutsuki said, unable to rescue his hand from the ecstatic youth's grasp. "Um…"

"Oh, Kensuke," Kaji said, seeing the opportunity Fuyutsuki's appearance presented. He also felt a little bad for the subcommander, having to endure the young fan's handshake. "Come here, I've got something to discuss with you."

Kensuke dropped Fuyutsuki's hand and dashed over to Kaji, eager for this chance to talk with the master hacker. Fuyutsuki may be the subcommander, but Kensuke bet that he couldn't hack like Kaji. "Yes!" he said, excited, "I'm here!"

"Alright," Kaji said, leading Kensuke further down the bar. "Let's go and discuss over here, away from the subcommander." He looked back at Shinji and flashed him a thumbs up sign and gestured to Fuyutsuki, before turning back to Kensuke.

"Heh," Fuyutsuki said as he sat down at the bar. "You've got quite a friend there."

"Yeah, well, Kensuke loves everything to do with NERV," Shinji offered as an explanation for his friend's actions. "He'd do anything to be an Eva pilot."

"I see," Fuyutsuki said, putting his arms on the bar and leaning slightly forward, gesturing to Minoru, who nodded in return.

"Ah, Subcommander--"

"You can just call me Fuyutsuki outside of NERV," he said, smiling at Shinji.

"Right then, ah, Fuyutsuki, I've been wondering…"

"Yes?"

"Well… what can you tell me about my father? I mean, you're always with him, so you must know something. At this point, almost anything would be more than I know…" he trailed off and sipped on his mint flavored drink.

Fuyutsuki didn't answer, but just stared ahead until Minoru brought him his drink. He nodded his thanks, and stared into the wine glass set before him for what seemed like hours on end. Finally, he spoke.

"Your father," he began slowly, still starring at his wine glass, slowly spinning it between the thumb and index fingers of his right hand. "Your father loved your mother very much."

Shinji's eyes widened as he heard Fuyutsuki talk. Of all the things he had expected Fuyutsuki to say, that was not one of them.

"He was never the most likable of men, at first glance," he continued, "but after you got to know him for a while, he really was a kind, if driven, man. He was someone who could change people." Fuyutsuki let out a small laugh. "He even convinced me to change my life's work. People were drawn to your father, even if they disliked him."

Shinji listened to Fuyutsuki in awe. He had never expected the subcommander to be this open with him, and what he was telling him about his father made Shinji feel… happy. He didn't know why, though. But… still. Hearing that his father was a good man made him feel…

Fuyutsuki stopped spinning the glass. "But then the accident occurred."

"After the accident, your father was crushed completely, withdrawing within himself and only showing the side you've seen to the world. He couldn't handle life without Yui. He rarely left his office. Life was far to overwhelming for him." Fuyutsuki sighed. "All I could do was focus his despair on a new goal, something I'm not even sure I should have done now." He started spinning the glass again, and looked up at Shinji.

"Shinji, don't make the mistake of thinking your father doesn't love you."

"Wh-what?" Shinji asked, slightly shocked.

"You father… doesn't know how to express himself. Rather, he can't. Forgive me for saying this, but… he's a coward. He may love you, but… he doesn't want to be hurt again like when Yui…" He trailed off and straightened up a bit. "Sorry," he said. "I got a little carried away there."

"It's alright," Shinji said quietly. "I think… I think I understand him better now. Thank you, Subcommander."

"Yes," Fuyutsuki said, "well, just don't repeat any of what I said, lest it get back to your father's ears."

Shinji nodded.

"Thanks."

Fuyutsuki looked down at his glass one more time, and then stood up. He reached into his pocket, and withdrew a few bills before dropping them next to his untouched glass. "I should be going now."

"Um, Subcommmander, I mean Fuyutsuki…"

"Yes, Mr. Ikari?"

"Ah, if you don't mind my asking, why didn't you drink it?"

Fuyutsuki looked back to his glass. "A long time ago," he said slowly, "there was a woman I loved very much, but on the day that was supposed to be the culmination of all our work, there was a terrible accident and she was killed. That drink," he said, nodding to the glass, "was what we were going to toast with that night." He looked away from the glass. "I come here every night and order that. I promised myself that the day I can drink from that glass is the day I will be able to let her go and move forward." And it will also be the day I leave NERV, he added, mentally.

"I see…" Shinji said quietly, realizing that like him, both his father and the subcommander were haunted by things from their pasts.

"Well," Fuyutsuki said, drawing himself up. "I'd best be off. Thank you for your company, Shinji."

"Yes, sir," Shinji said, nodding to him. "And thank you for telling me about my father."

"Don't mention it. I'd been meaning to talk to you for a while now, but I've never been able to get up the courage."

"Sir?"

"It's nothing," He laughed sadly. "Goodnight, Shinji," he said, calling Shinji by his first name as he headed out the door. And then he shook his head as he quietly said to himself, "I guess I'm a coward too."

---

Rei looked at the door to the room she had been directed to. She looked at the small nameplate beside the door that said Rei Suzuhara. This was the room. Reaching forward, she slid the door open and stepped in side.

The little girl on the bed turned her head towards the door when she had heard it open, and smiled with delight when she saw who was standing in the doorframe.

"Rei!" she said, happily. "You are Rei, right?"

Rei nodded hesitantly and slowly walked forward to the chair by the girls bed. She wasn't used to this sort of greeting.

"I knew it!" Touji's sister said, raising her arms in a victory pose. She turned back to Rei, who had just sat down at the chair beside her bed. "I could tell because of your blue hair. Shinji told me about you."

"I know," Rei said, feeling a warm glow in her chest, thinking about Shinji. "He told me. He suggested that I visit you."

"He did?" Touji's sister asked, smiling. "Yay!" She looked back at Rei. "I have a question," she said.

Rei looked at the girl. "What is it?"

"Do you dye your hair that color? Shinji didn't know, but he said he didn't think so."

Rei rose a hand to her hair and touched it. She felt a little awkward talking about her self with someone who wasn't Shinji. "No," she said, dropping her hand. "This is my natural hair color."

"Really?" Touji's sister said with wide eyes. "That's so cool!"

Rei was a bit taken aback by this reaction. Her hair had never been called "cool" before. When she had first transferred into school, she remembered people whispering about how weird she was because of her hair. She hadn't cared at the time, but now… This girl was different from those people. "Th-thank you," she said, slightly shocked that the words came out of her mouth.

"Your welcome," the girl said, cheerily. "Isn't it cool that both our names are Rei?"

"I suppose," Rei said, unable to really think of a suitable answer.

"It is," Touji's sister said, decidedly. "Alright," she said. "Did Shinji confess to you, yet?"

Rei just stared at the girl for a moment. This girl knew that Shinji liked her? "Ah…" Rei said trailing off.

"Cause he likes you, you know. He told me last time, but he's too scared to tell you in case you reject him. So, do you like him back?"

Rei looked down at her hands. "Yes," she said quietly, her cheeks faintly red. Why was she feeling embarrassed talking to this little girl? Perhaps it was because she was talking about Shinji that made her feel this way. "I told him today, and he told me."

"Yay!" Touji's sister said, throwing her hands in the air. "That's good."

Rei looked up at the smiling girl.

"But just so you know," Touji's sister said, still smiling cheerily. "I like Shinji too, so if you ever break up with him, he's mine!"

Rei looked at the girl, wide eyed. "What?" she asked. This whole situation was making her feel awkward. Touji's sister somehow made her feel far too open. She was never like this when talking with her classmates…. It was sort of how she felt with Shinji… But with this little girl… it seemed as if she could see right through her.

Seeing Rei's hesitance, Touji's sister quickly said, "Oh, but don't worry. I won't try anything while you still love each other. It wouldn't work anyway, because Shinji loves you! So anything I did while he loved you wouldn't really matter."

"I see…" Rei said slowly. She was running out of things to say. Though she was sure that the girl meant no ill will towards her, she didn't like feeling this open. It wasn't something she was used to. Only with Shinji was she comfortable being open.

Suddenly, a nurse stuck her head into the door. "Visitor hours are over in one minute," she said, before continuing on her way.

"Aw," Touji's sister said, pouting. "I guess you have to go now. Will you come visit me again?"

Rei stood up from her chair and looked at the girl. "Perhaps," she said. She turned to leave, but then suddenly stopped. She turned back to the little girl.

"What is it?" Touji's sister said.

Rei bowed her head slightly. "I am sorry," she said. "If it were not for me, you would not have those injuries. It was because of me that Shinji had to pilot Eva when he didn't know how to."

"It's okay," came the girl's cheery voice, and Rei looked up. "It doesn't matter. You did the best you could, and that's what counts, right? You and Shinji don't need to apologize me. It wasn't your fault. Besides, I should have been in a shelter, so it's really my fault."

Rei looked at the girl, and felt some of the awkwardness she felt around her slip away. Something about this girl… she was different that other people. Her unwillingness to blame others reminded Rei a lot like… "Shinji."

"What?" Touji's sister said.

"You are a lot like Shinji," Rei said, looking at the girl.

Touji's sister smiled. "I hope so! He's really nice. That's why I like him! He was the first person to come visit me other than my brother. And now you're here too! I don't have to worry about being alone anymore."

Rei looked at the girl, feeling something resound within her when the girl spoke of being alone. "Do your parents not visit you as well?"

The girl shook her head. "My mom died when I was little, and my dad is always busy with work. You, Shinji, and my brother are the only ones that come and visit me."

Rei regarded the girl for a few more seconds before saying, "I will come back and visit you."

The girl smiled. "Yay! I really like you too."

Rei felt herself blush slightly. "Thank you," she said again, and then. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Rei!" Touji's sister called out, waving as she left the room.

As Rei walked down the halls her thoughts dwelled on the girl she had left back in that room. She is different than other people, she thought. She is a lot like both myself and Shinji. As Rei headquarters and started home, she looked up at waning moon. Why do I suddenly feel connected to her like I do to Shinji?

---

Misato stood next to Ritsuko next to the window that overlooked Unit-Three. She yawned, and arched her back, stretching as she tried to wake herself up.

"Aaah," she said as she covered her mouth as she yawned. "So, today's the day."

Ritsuko nodded. "Yes. Now we'll finally see if Unit-Three will activate."

"Yup," Misato yawned again. "Perfect day for it too. Blue sky, not a cloud in sight." She turned to Ritsuko. "You're sure that nothing is going to go horribly wrong, right?"

"Misato, relax." Ritsuko said, sipping some of her mug of coffee. "I already told you, everything will be fine. Without an S2 engine, there isn't anything that could happen that we can't handle."

Misato turned back to the window and regarded the black giant that stood just outside. She shook her head, and raised a can of UCC coffee her lips. "I sure hope you're right."

God, I hope she's right.

---

Authors Note:

There you have it! It's been over a year, but I finaly finished chapter 8! Hallelulja! It's done! Hurray! Now to begin chapter 9... but first, I'm going down to spend the weekend at AnimeBoston. See ya!