Well hello my pretties, I hope you like my story! I like it, which is unusual, I don't usually like my own work…….hmmm, but hey I like this one.

Anyway, I'm not what you'd call "New to Fanfiction" but this is the first story I've posted on my own, I've co-written a cheesy Eowyn/Aragorn,but hey.

So here we are, A nice juicy Tawny/Ren, one of my favourite pairings. evil grin

Disclaimer: I do not own Even Stevens. The show and it's characters all belong to Disney, and the actors all belong to themselves…….sniff breaks into uncontrollable sobs If the show belonged to me, Ren and Tawny would be mine forever………..muahahaha

This first chapter is Tawny's POV, this is a POV story from both Tawny and Ren.

Things I'll Never Say

To believe in perfection is to believe that one unique person out there is the most wonderful being in the world, as far as I've ever been able to tell. So far in my short life, I have come to the conclusion that to believe anyone is perfect, you must be fully willing to believe that there is nothing wrong with this person in your eyes.

When I think of the concept of perfection, I've always found it ironic that there is such a thing as being too perfect. Does this make someone any less perfect?

Not for me, in my case the way a certain person in my life is bordering too perfect only increases the way I feel about them, and at the same time increases my confusion. You could say, as another ironic fact, that the person who I see as the epitomy of perfection confuses me more than anyone else on this earth.

This person that I am unreasoningly babbling on about does have a name, and once I say the name, you will understand. Because you know her, as I do. And because everyone knows she's perfect.

"she" is Ren Stevens.

When I moved to Sacramento in the summer of sixth grade, and started at Lawrence, Louis was the perfect friend for me. We were both fun-loving kids, and to me, Louis was funny, and a good friend. I had a crush on Louis for years, even though he didn't know it until a fateful accident came along. I actually thought I was in love with him right up until halfway through last year, before this whole thing with Ren got completely out of control. But back to my story…

It wasn't long after I met him that I first met Ren, on one of my first days at Lawrence. I liked her straight away, during the next few months, Ren became a role model for me, someone I wanted desperately to be like, but I realised after a while that we were two very different people. She was Renée Stevens, perfection in every form, I was the short little gothy new girl who wrote strange poems in English class.

I guess I was about fourteen when I realised how much I liked Ren. I was always around at the Stevens' house for some reason or another, and when Louis had me and Twitty staying overnight after his fourteenth birthday party, I had to sleep in Ren's room. It was that night that I realised that I actually had a rather large crush on her.

I'd known for a while that, other than Louis, I wasn't into guys. I would date them, but I knew from an early age that I looked at girls with more interest. Well, I wouldn't say girls, more like I looked at Ren with more interest. The other girls at school all only seemed to be interested in the same things, and their main ambition in life seemed to be to date the popular captain of the football team or get into the cheerleading squad. Ren wasn't like those airheads. She was smart, collected, gorgeous and fiercely independent. She was also the only person on the planet with the power to make my heart pound and my legs grow weak with a single smile. After a while I began to realise what my heart was truing to tell me.

I no longer wanted to be Ren, I wanted to be with Ren.

I was confused for a long time about my feelings, about how I couldn't stop thinking about her, the way she smiled or laughed, the way her hair fell in her face when she leant over a book, the way her eyes flashed whenever she got mad at Louis….yes, my feelings had definitely changed somewhat. In short, I had fallen for my best friends older sister.

When things started to change, when my feelings for Ren grew stronger, I was scared, although I think a part of me knew that it was right, it had to happen.

So for now, I keep it hidden, living in hope of a miracle. Living in hope that there is some alternate universe or something where dreams do come true and Ren and I can be together.

"Tawny, hey Tawn, watch this". Louis's voice echoes through the library, causing all hard working students of Lawrence High to give him that glare that most people have reserved just for him.

I sigh, and raise an appraising eyebrow at him.. God only knows what Louis and Twitty were up to these days, and to be completely honest, I didn't want to know. Something involving skipping gym class. Again.

To be completely honest, I wasn't paying much attention to them, I had work to do. Well to be completely honest, I wasn't paying much attention to that either, not with Ren sitting in front of the computers on the other side of the room. I sneaked another furtive glance at her. God she's beautiful, she always has been. A lock of her chestnut hair falls out from behind her ear, and my fingers itch to brush it back.

My heart speeds up as she looks up suddenly, feeling my gaze upon her. She smiles, making my insides do a somersault, and rolls her eyes at Louis and Twitty, who are now having some lame little play fight on the other side of the table. She stands up, oh god, she's coming over…

"Hey" she says, dumping her stuff on the table and sitting down. " I thought you looked like you needed rescuing from monkey one and monkey two."

I laughed, moving over slightly so she could sit.

"Thank you, O wondrous saviour of the suffering", I reply. Oh god I hope that didn't sound too sarcastic…

I needn't have worried, although considering I do whenever I'm talking to her, I guess its to be expected.

"Hey Tawny, are you walking home today?" she asks.

"Yeah, mom's at some meeting and dad works late. Why?".

"Can I walk with you? My car's at the garage, something to do with the gears."

"Sure you can" I say, happy at the prospect of spending time alone with her. Just me and Ren Stevens, the most delectable creature to grace gods earth.

We sit in silence for a while, her immersed in a book, me absent-mindedly doodling in my notebook.

I look around the room and groan inwardly as I notice Ren's boyfriend Jason come through the doorway. No way, This is not what I need right now. If he comes over here she'll kiss him and I'll have to act like it doesn't make me want to strangle him to death…..It's not easy. But surprisingly enough he just looks around, sees Ren and leaves. Strange, I think to myself. Next to me, Ren lets out a breath I didn't know she'd been holding. I give her a quizzical look. And ask if she's okay. She looks uneasy.

"Err, yeah, I'm fine" she replies. " It's just…..I broke up with him at lunchtime today."

I look at her with a mixture of curiousness and sympathy.

"You okay with it?" I ask, trying to be sympathetic for her sake and hold in my utter joy at the fact that I don't have to put up with him anymore.

"I'm great actually, I guess we had our differences."

I smile. "I know what you mean" I reply, and we both grin at the memory of the last time I dated Louis. Back then I was only just realising my feelings for her, and Louis and I had an eventful break up where I accused him of being a mindless, irresponsible brat and he'd told me I was a selfish, snobby princess. The fight had been short, and we were good friends again only the next day, but we never forgot that deep down, we were and are just too different.

"I'm glad you broke up with him." I state truthfully.

"You're well shot of him"

She smiles at me and pulls me into a hug, catching me totally off guard.

"Thanks Tawny, You're an angel" she says, and I laugh nervously as I try to ignore the fact that her breasts are pressing against mine through her sweater and that she smells inexplicitly like vanilla. It feels right, being here in her arms, and god ,does she feel good.

I don't think that I'm in love with her, not yet,I'n not ready for that. But I am falling in love. Every day, every time I see Ren or talk to her, I fall a little harder.

So for now, my days are a multitude of happiness,confusion, love and tears. And recently I've been acting like a schoolgirl with a crush....................which makes sense conclusively...........