Shinobi Shindig

By: firefly

Shinobi Shindig

"Can someone remind me," Sasuke muttered under his breath. "Why I agreed to this?"

"Heh heh, you never agreed," Naruto smirked at him, setting some plates and paper cups on the picnic tables. "Kakashi-sensei kinda forced you into it, remember? He said—"

"I KNOW what he said," the Uchiha bit out through gritted teeth, as a group of giggling women passed him. "Now just get away from me."

Naruto completely ignored his comment and cheekily raised a plate to Sasuke's face, grinning expectantly. "What are you waiting for? You gonna give me some potato salad or what?"

Glowering dangerously, Sasuke added Kill Naruto to his mental list of things to do for today. But only after the KILL KAKASHI he had recorded, for this utter humiliation he had to endure. This utter humiliation being assigned the task of serving people potato salad at this Shinobi picnic, of all things.

That alone, maybe Sasuke could have handled, but this ridiculous apron…

Sasuke's eye twitched as he heaped a pile of potato salad on Naruto's plate, rather violently, so some potato bits splattered over his apron and Naruto's shirt. Too amused with Sasuke's predicament to be offended, Naruto only grinned again and took his potato salad to the nearest table.

"I'm going to murder Kakashi…" Sasuke whispered to himself, clenching the wooden spoon in his hand. "I'll beat him senseless with this stupid spoon, and then strangle him with this stupid apron!"

"Is someone plotting my death?" Kakashi's cheerful voice interrupted Sasuke's thoughts, and he turned around to glare malevolently at the carefree Jounin.

Kakashi's visible eye arched into a happy curve, and he thumped Sasuke on the back. "The apron is attracting a lot of attention; the potato salad's almost gone."

"That's because it says: 'Kiss me, I can't cook worth crap so I wore this stupid apron to get attention.'" Sasuke practically snarled, pointing at the bold lettering on his front.

"Ha ha, it's working though!" Kakashi smiled though his mask, ruffling Sasuke's hair so it resembled a petrified porcupine. "Everybody's happy. Look at Gai," Kakashi pointed to the crazy green-clad man doing some demented dance near the piñata. "He's beside himself with joy."

Sasuke stared at Gai, slightly disturbed. "What's…he…?"

"He's dancing," Kakashi said dubiously, his brow furrowing in slight concern. "Either that or…having a seizure."

"ABSORB THE EXCITEMENT OF THIS EVENT, LEE!" Gai cried out passionately, striking a pose as his favourite pupil looked on with adoring eyes. "WE MUST TREASURE THESE MOMENTS OF SOCIAL INTERACTION!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei!" Lee all but yelled, saluting him.

Sasuke turned away in disgust when they embraced, scowling grumpily across the park. All the genin teams were here, including their teachers and practically every Shinobi in the village.

"Lighten up, Sasuke," Kakashi said, taking the empty bowl from Sasuke and handing him a platter of tossed salad. "You'll have fun in the activities we planned for later."

Sasuke kept his face impassive until Kakashi ruffled his hair once more and walked away, somehow sipping fruit punch through a straw. As soon as the Jounin was out of sight, Sasuke's face darkened and he dropped the platter of salad on the table.

He tore the apron off and stomped away, leaving it to be trampled by Kiba and Naruto, who were both running from a potato-salad splattered and furious Ibiki.

Meanwhile, at another picnic table nearby, Hinata sat with Kurenai and Shino, watching Kiba tear through the park with Naruto, screaming as Ibiki barreled after them.

"Um…Kurenai-sensei," Hinata said hesitantly, eyes widening in dismay at the scene. "Shouldn't someone help Kiba…and N-Naruto?"

"They're fine," Kurenai said distractedly, before resuming her conversation with Asuma. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about Asuma. It's obvious that Kristy is going to get back together with Michael."

"No, they're not," Asuma insisted, brandishing a copy of Soap Opera Weekly. "Sources say it'll be David, Kurenai. It's logical."

Ibiki gave up on his chase five minutes later and returned to his table, grumbling angrily. Hinata smiled a vague, lovesick smile as Naruto jumped out of the tree he'd been hiding in, his sweat-soaked shirt clinging to his skin.

Shino, who had been sitting there impassively for 45 minutes, couldn't take the Soap Opera discussion anymore and promptly got to his feet and quickly walked away. Hinata blinked when Shino got up and left, and she called out to him.

"Shino, w-where are you going?" she asked curiously.

Shino paused, facing the other way before answering. "Away…far away."

"O…kay," Hinata said in confusion, resuming her fantasizing of Naruto as the bug ninja left.

Shino walked clear across the park, passing a dozing Shikamaru, a munching Chouji, an arguing Ino and Sakura (they both wore the same sundress), a watermelon-lugging Tenten, and possibly the only other person grumpier than Sasuke.

Neji glared at anyone who came into sight, scaring away even the most skilled ninja with the psychotic aura he was giving off. It would have been a funny sight, had it not been for the fact that Neji growled like a rabid dog at anyone who even cracked a smile in his presence.

"Hey Neji," Tenten said happily, placing a large watermelon on the picnic table near her teammate. Then she noticed Neji's expression, and the large porcelain bowl he was holding.

"Oh…" she said in slight surprise. "I guess nobody here likes guacamole, huh?"

"Don't. Speak. To. Me." Neji hissed at her, tightening his grip on the bowl. "Leave me alone."

"Come on, Neji," Tenten said reprovingly. "The chef hat looks cool."

Neji slowly looked at her, and gave her his most evil glare (also known as the Gaara Approved Glare XD), as the yellow floppy chef's hat flopped onto his forehead. It was a pretty frightening sight, and Tenten took the hint and quickly left, before Neji did anything drastic.

"I'll murder Gai," Neji growled to himself. "I'll take this stupid hat, shove it down his throat, and then force-feed him this green sh—"

"NEJI!" Gai boomed suddenly into the Hyuuga's ear. "Glad to see you're participating! Volunteer work is very important in a Shinobi's life!"

"Volunteer?" Neji whispered venomously, turning around. "You FORCED me to do this."

Gai remained oblivious to the vibes of death Neji was radiating, and flashed him one of his trademark smiles instead. "I'm sure you're enjoying it! And by the way, that yellow hat really brings out your beautiful eyes! AH! THE BEAUTY OF YOUTH!"

Neji watched, open-mouthed, as his teacher walked off, crying. Slowly and methodically, a vein near his temple began to twitch, and Neji promptly pulled a Sasuke and tore off his yellow chef hat, adding some originality to his hissy-fit by over-turning the guacamole before he stalked off.

Meanwhile, the teachers were preparing the activities for the afternoon, and Anko climbed atop a platform, holding a megaphone in her hands.

"Hello? Is this thing on? Hey, hello! People, listen up!" Anko shouted into the megaphone, growing frustrated as people ignored her voice.

"HEY JACKASSES! LISTEN!" She screamed, cupping her hands over her mouth. Everyone stopped what they were doing, turning to frown at the obscene woman on the platform.

"Okay. Our first activity will be starting now. It'll be an egg toss, so could everyone please come to the centre square?"

"EGG TOSS GAI-SENSEI!" Lee screamed ecstatically. "Will you be my partner?"

"OF COURSE, LEE!" Gai bellowed from behind Asuma, nearly bursting the smoking Shinobi's ear drums.

"I wanna be partners with Sasuke!" Ino and Sakura cried out at the same time. But Sasuke, along with Neji and Shino, had disappeared somewhere.

"I'll be your partner, Sakura!" Naruto said excitedly, but was totally rejected as Sakura flipped her hair disdainfully at him. "Aww!" he said sadly, and Hinata practically died inside when she saw the hurt look on Naruto's face.

This could be her opportunity to partner with Naruto! Hesitantly, she took tiny baby steps until she finally made it to where Naruto was standing.

"Um," Hinata began nervously. "I-I'll…b-be…your…part…ner…"

"Eh?" Naruto turned around in surprise, only to see that nobody was there.

"Come on Hinata! You can partner with me!" Kiba exclaimed as he dragged Hinata to the centre square. Hinata just stared at Kiba in shock, horrified that her only chance to partner with Naruto had been ruined.

Sakura had no choice but to partner with Tenten, Ino partnered with Chouji, and Naruto got stuck with Shikamaru, who looked like he didn't even know where he was.

"Come on, Gai-sensei! You can stand over—" Lee stopped in mid-sentence, noticing with surprise that his teacher wasn't looking at him! GASP!

"Gai-sensei? What…?" he trailed off when he noticed his teacher regarding a certain stoned-looking Jounin lounging near the picnic tables, two fireballs burning intensely in his eyes.

"Lee," Gai said slowly. "You must understand…I must partner with my rival! It's a matter of honour!"

"I understand, sensei!" Lee practically sobbed. "I'll cheer you on!"

There was a quick exchange of hugs, and then Gai dashed off to confront his eternal rival.

"Turn around, you…you fruit punch-sipping rapscallion!" Gai shouted, pointing at the copy-nin's back. "I CHALLENGE YOU TO AN EGG TOSS!"

Kakashi remained motionless, and Gai stood there for five seconds with his arm out-stretched as crickets chirped in the background. Losing patience, Gai dropped his arm and shouted.

"KAKASHI!"

"Huh?" Kakashi turned, looking mildly surprised at the sudden appearance of Gai. "Did you say something?"

There was a moment of Gai freaking out with Kakashi standing there impassively, and when he finally got a hold of himself, he challenged Kakashi again. Before the copy-nin had time to answer, Gai grabbed his wrist and practically dragged him to the centre square.

"Ready?" Anko shouted through her retrieved megaphone. "START!"

The egg toss started out nicely, and since everyone playing was a ninja, their egg-catching skills were above par and nobody had dropped one yet…except for Naruto and Shikamaru. Naruto threw the egg, and it hit the ground in front of Shikamaru, who was looking in the other direction.

"Shikamaru! You lazy ass!" Naruto yelled. "Why didn't you catch it?!"

Shikamaru just gave him a bored look, not even bothering to answer before he turned and walked away.

The egg toss got pretty boring then, and Anko decided to kick it up a notch. The teams paused as Anko performed a jutsu on each egg, and then resumed the game. The only difference was, Sakura noted first with a shriek, was that the egg got white-hot on contact.

She threw it as fast as she could, and Tenten had to practically dive to catch it. She too let out a surprised yelp and tossed the egg back at Sakura. They only managed to catch it a few more times before it slipped from Sakura's hands and smashed against the floor.

Hinata gasped as the hot egg came pelting at her, but she managed to catch it and throw it back at Kiba, who fumbled with it for a moment, scalding himself in the process before he threw it back. It sailed directly at her, and Hinata reached out with both hands.

Then Naruto suddenly ran through the square, being pelted with eggs by Ibiki for revenge. Hinata was distracted as Naruto whizzed by, and the egg smashed directly into her chest, splattering yolk and egg white all over her white shirt.

Kiba looked mortified with himself, and Kurenai quickly whisked Hinata away to get a change of clothes.

The only people left now were Kakashi and Gai. The beautiful green beast of Konoha was practically whipping the egg at his rival, who easily caught it and tossed it back in a nice arch.

"You're mocking me with these easy tosses!" Gai raged, as Kakashi's visible eye regarded him without expression. "You're saying that I'm not worth you expending any real energy for! AREN'T YOU!?"

"GO! GAI-SENSEI!" Lee cheered from the side. "You have him on the ropes!"

"That I do!" Gai exclaimed in all his delusional glory. He glared as Kakashi continued to regard him contemplatively with that seemingly drug-induced expression.

"You're my idol, Gai-sensei! You're the best!" Lee shouted tearfully. Gai literally felt his heart burst with pride, and he turned around to flash Lee his best smile, his teeth pinging.

But Lee's face contorted in horror, and Gai realized why as the egg suddenly smashed into the back of his head.

He turned around in shock, only to see Kakashi standing there with an apologetic look. "I think Anko should hard-boil the eggs next time, Gai."

Gai could only fall to his knees, arching his back as he wailed to the heavens. "NOOOOOOO!"

"Congratulations, Kakashi! You're the winner!" Everyone cheered as Anko handed Kakashi his prize; a jump rope.

Kakashi stared at it. "…yay." He said.

"Our next activity will take place in ten minutes!" Anko shouted to the crowd as they dispersed again. "We'll get to hit the piñata!"

Meanwhile…

"Um, are you sure it's okay to…" Hinata blushed. "…c-change here?"

Kurenai nodded firmly, handing her an extra T-shirt. "Don't worry, everyone is doing the egg toss." The two were currently standing in a small thicket within the forest, and a faint cheering told them that someone had won the egg toss.

"Change quickly, then join us back outside," Kurenai said, then she hurried away to go talk to Asuma again. Come ON, we all know they got something going on.

Hinata stood there, twisting the extra t-shirt nervously in her hands as Kurenai disappeared through the bushes. Gulping, Hinata activated her Byakugan and scoped the area, making sure no one was nearby.

The closest person nearby was Shino, and he was currently socializing silently with some bug friends hundreds of metres away. Deciding that it was safe enough, Hinata slowly peeled off the wet shirt, and draped it over a tree branch.

Hugging herself anxiously, she noticed with dismay that her, ahem, sports under garment, was sticky with egg yolk as well. She bit her lip, deciding that it would be okay if she wore her coat over the new t-shirt to make up for the loss of her…under garment, even though it was hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk.

Making up her mind, Hinata slowly moved her hands to remove the…under garment.

God I hate using this word…MEANWHILE…

We've reunited with Sasuke, who disappeared at the beginning. The angry Uchiha had managed to cool off by practicing his chakra control, and he felt pretty calm now, high up in the canopy of a chestnut.

Sasuke sat on the tree branch, swinging his feet back and forth idly as his mind wandered around things that had nothing to do with killing Itachi. Yes, Sasuke does think about things other than imagining the most painful and humiliating ways to kill his brother in.

Currently his mind was drifting back to the gorgeous curtains he had circled in his Linens 'N Things catalogue at home, and he allowed himself a little smile as he imagined them hanging there in his bedroom. Maybe he'd pick up the bed sheets to match…

The faint sound of cheering interrupted his thoughts, and Sasuke's smile was replaced by a scowl when he heard Anko's voice declaring Kakashi the winner of the egg toss.

I'd kick his ass at egg toss…Sasuke thought haughtily as he climbed down from his perch and started leaping through random trees, bonking his head on a squirrel's nest occasionally. He eventually jumped onto land again after a squirrel attacked him for destroying its home.

Kicking at a stone, Sasuke stuffed his hands into his pockets and started walking in some random direction, his eyes scoping the ground to make sure he didn't soil his ninja sandals. A sudden noise brought him to attention, and he raised his head to see a small thicket ahead of him.

He paused, blinking when he heard the sound of rustling leaves on the other side of the thicket.

Curious, like any other twelve-year-old boy, he quietly ventured forward until he stood directly before the branches of the thicket. A twig snapped on the other side, and Sasuke pictured either Neji or Shino on the other side, moping around.

They'll probably ask me for a spar…he thought smugly. But it's pretty pathetic of them, though, if they haven't noticed me yet.

Deciding to grace Neji or Shino with his presence, Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and slouched to look disinterested, his smug look replaced by calm indifference. Rehearsing what he would say in his mind, he ducked his head and brushed through the thicket, emerging on the other side with his head turned slightly to the side.

There was a gasp, and he raised his head, the calm indifference on his face slowly melting away to be replaced by a look of utter disbelief and mortification.

There were many things Sasuke had seen in his short twelve-year-old life. He'd witnessed his parents' death courtesy of Itachi, had seen the cruel reality of a Shinobi's life, and had even seen Itachi's stamp collection, but NEVER, EVER had he seen…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Hinata screamed at the top of her lungs.

…a naked girl.

"HOLY SHIT!"

Everyone in the park stopped what they were doing and faced the forest in alarm when a high-pitched scream pierced the air, and everything fell silent after it faded.

A fraction of a second later, Sasuke came tearing out of the forest like a bat out of hell and ran so fast a gust of wind followed soon after. Kakashi calmly stepped into his path and put a hand out.

Sasuke jerked to a stop in mid-air but kept running, his legs working furiously as Kakashi held him aloft by his abnormally large-collared shirt.

Kakashi stared in surprise at his pupil, as Sasuke thrashed around in his grip, attempting to escape. Everyone approached slowly, mumbling and whispering to each other as Kakashi set Sasuke down and held him in place by planting his hands firmly on his shoulders.

"Sasuke, what's wrong?" Kakashi asked, slightly concerned at the panicking and wild look in Sasuke's saucer-shaped eyes, and the purplish red hue of his face.

"I-I…I…" he stammered out, in a frighteningly high-pitched voice. "I…s-saw…"

"GAAH! Sasuke saw Orochimaru! We're all gonna DIIEEE!" Ino screeched, and everyone panicked.

"SHUT UP!" Anko yelled at the top of her monster lungs through the megaphone. "Don't jump to freakin' conclusions, people!"

Nobody wanted to argue with the crazy megaphone-wielding woman, so they all fell silent, turning to look at Sasuke expectantly.

Kakashi bent down to look at Sasuke at eye-level, eyebrows raising when Sasuke took deep, shuddering breaths, eyes still huge and his face still cherry red.

"Sasuke," Kakashi murmured evenly, staring at him intently. "What did you see?"

Sasuke looked like he was about to answer, and then saw something over Kakashi's shoulder that made his face turn paper-white. He turned to run again, but Gai came up and grabbed the struggling Uchiha as Kakashi turned around.

Kurenai approached, her face resembling a harpy's as she held someone comfortingly by her side. That someone was Hinata, and she couldn't bear to show her blazing face, so she hid it in Kurenai's side.

"Kurenai?" Asuma watched from the sidelines, a little freaked out by the dangerous glare the kunoichi was aiming at Sasuke. "What happened?"

"This is all your fault, Kakashi," Kurenai hissed at the surprised copy-nin, ignoring Asuma. "You've turned your student into a pervert!"

"It…was an accident, Kurenai-sensei…" Hinata squeaked out, so only Kurenai could hear. "I-I don't think he m-meant to look…"

"Wait a minute!" Naruto suddenly stormed towards Sasuke, his shoulders hunched in rage. "Sasuke, you bastard! Did you peek at Hinata while she was-!"

"NO!" Sasuke all but shrieked, cutting Naruto off and shocking everyone else. "It was an accident! ACCIDENT! A-C-C-I-!"

Gai promptly slapped Sasuke across the face, and shook him by the shoulders. "Get a hold of yourself, man!" he yelled, as Sasuke flopped like a rag doll in his grip.

"Stop it, Gai," Kakashi said calmly, and pulled poor Sasuke away by the arm. He then looked at him, his visible eye twinkling in amusement.

"Sasuke, the truth. Were you peeking at Hinata while she was changing?"

"No!" Sasuke practically screamed, the blood rushing to his face again. "I was walking through the forest, and I accidentally saw it, okay!?"

"Saw what?"

Hinata and Sasuke consecutively felt their blood run cold when the crowd parted to show a frowning and bewildered Neji, alongside a stoic and silent Shino. Naruto marched right up to Neji and Shino before Sasuke could escape, and blurted.

"Sasuke saw Hinata NAKED!"

There was a moment of silence, in which the only reaction of the two was Shino's eyebrows nearly disappearing into his headband, and Neji blinking at the abrupt statement.

Then Neji suddenly moved, slowly, towards his petrified cousin. Gai released Sasuke to slap his hands to his face dramatically, and Kurenai released Hinata to back away from the unpredictable Neji.

His face expressionless, Neji slowly looked between Hinata and Sasuke, and then looked at the grass, his eyes shadowed.

"Is this true, Hinata?" he asked in a low voice.

There was no reply, except for Hinata's fearful squeak. Neji clenched his fists, looking up with his Byakugan activated, making his accusing Gaara Approved Glare all the more intense as he aimed it at Sasuke, his teeth bared.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" he screamed, launching himself at the dumbfounded Uchiha, only to be held back by Gai. "I'll kill you!"

"Neji, stop!" Gai and Lee cried tearfully, tugging at the vest thing he wore. "Sasuke says it was an accident!" In the crowd, Tenten rolled her eyes at her team's antics and jumped into the fray, grabbing Neji's other arm so he couldn't throw himself at Sasuke.

"N-Neji!" Hinata stammered, shocked at his reaction. "What are you doing!? It w-was an accident!"

"Protecting the Hyuuga clan's honour!" he hollered as he struggled to break free from his team. Sasuke, who'd been standing there in dumb shock the whole time, finally recovered when Neji looked up and made eye contact with him, glaring so hard that Sasuke flinched.

"How dare you lay your filthy, lecherous gaze on Hinata, you…you…Uchiha whore!" Neji yelled.

Sasuke's jaw dropped. "Did you just…" he said incredulously. "Call me a whore!?"

Naruto fell to the ground laughing at the appalled look on Sasuke's face.

"Neji, give it a rest!" Tenten said in exasperation. "Sasuke saw Hinata naked, okay. But what are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to beat his head in until he forgets it," Neji replied venomously, as Tenten sweat-dropped. "And I'll help!" Kiba pitched in, because he hadn't said anything in a while. Akamaru barked, putting in his two cents.

"You're not ALLOWED to beat Sasuke up like that!" Sakura cried. "I won't let you!"

"What the hell is this!?" Sasuke suddenly shouted, regaining his sanity at last. "You think I'll let that Hyuuga hit me? He's nothing compared to me!"

Neji nearly exploded.

"YOU'RE DEAD!"

Before Neji could Gentle Fist Sasuke into the next world, Shino suddenly stepped between them, hands tucked casually into his pockets.

"I have a solution," he said calmly.

Everyone stared at him, surprised that Shino was speaking, of all things. "What the hell are you talking about?" Kiba questioned.

Shino turned towards Sasuke, unnerving the Uchiha as he stared at him for a few moments from behind his opaque shades. "I have a solution," he repeated. "But I need Sasuke's cooperation."

"W-What is it, Shino?" Hinata questioned meekly.

"I can make Sasuke forget what happened," Shino replied, still staring steadily at him. "It's a ninjutsu technique," he paused. "It's painless."

"How about it, Sasuke?" Kakashi looked slightly impressed with Shino. "Wanna give it a try? At least that way, Neji won't have an excuse to kill you anymore."

Sasuke opened his mouth to retort, but then recalled what he saw in the forest. Unintentionally, he made eye contact with Hinata and the two blushed furiously. Lowering his head, Sasuke mumbled something under his breath.

"All right," Shino said, and reached out a hand. Sasuke twitched when a particularly interesting looking bug appeared on Shino's hand, its shiny shell reflecting the sunlight as it watched Sasuke.

"This is a hypnosis bug," Shino said as Sasuke stared at it, nearly cross-eyed since it was right between his eyes. "Its wings create a hypnotic effect, and once you are hypnotized, I will erase your memory of what happened."

"That's so cool!" Lee whispered with wide, adoring eyes. "I wish I could do that!"

Gai for once said nothing, since he was too busy being jealous that none of his students knew such a technique.

"Are you ready?" Shino asked, expressionless, and Sasuke nodded. The bug ninja brought the hand with the bug on it close to himself, and whispered something to it. Then it flew off his hand and landed on Sasuke's nose, now really giving him a cross-eyed appearance.

The crowd watched in silent fascination as Shino put his left hand out, his palm facing Sasuke as he formed his right hand into a seal, holding it before his face as he bowed his head.

Sasuke watched the bug on the tip of his nose, trying not to twitch as its feet tickled his skin. Shino proceeded to form some seals with the hand outstretched towards Sasuke's face, and Kakashi had his headband slipped up so he could copy what Shino was doing.

Even Neji looked mildly impressed at the complicated looking seals Shino did with his left hand, and then watched as he suddenly stopped, raising his head.

"Sasuke…"

Sasuke blinked at the sound of his voice, momentarily moving his gaze from the bug to Shino's face. He could have sworn Shino was smiling sympathetically.

"Sorry."

Shino balled the hand in front of his face into a fist, and suddenly swung it with violent speed at Sasuke's head. Hinata gasped and Sakura and Ino screamed when Shino's fist made contact with Sasuke's temple. For a moment, Sasuke staggered, looking up at Shino in shock, before he suddenly fell to his knees and crumpled to the ground in an unconscious heap.

Shino looked at his unconscious form, his fist lowering to hang by his side. "He'll remember nothing when he wakes up."

Neji gawked at him, Kiba flinched, Kurenai stared with her mouth hanging open, and Kakashi looked confused, his Sharingan eye slowly spinning to a stop.

"That was a painless technique?" Gai asked incredulously. "Are you a sociopath, Shino?"

"I lied," Shino responded.

"So… that wasn't a hypnosis bug?" Asuma said in dismay.

"That was a dung beetle," Shino replied, with the straightest face the world has ever seen.

"Does that mean…that it wasn't a ninjutsu technique?" Kurenai asked, her pride deflating.

Shino remained silent for a few seconds before answering. "There's no such thing as a hypnosis jutsu." Then he walked away as if nothing happened.

"Um…" Anko broke the awkward silence, standing sheepishly next to Sasuke's body.

"So whose up for hitting the piñata?"

"I AM!" the crowd chorused, and left Sasuke's vulnerable body to be harassed by mosquitoes.