Kaiba Plays Simon Says

Pair This With 'Sasuke Gets Stuck In A Hole' For Some Real Fun!

Seto desperately tried to focus on his laptop. Ever since the Yugioh movie came out, he'd gotten mobbed by fan girls twice as much as before. They were yelling sweet nothings at him currently, and his secretary had closed the shutters.

The secretary, Strawberry, looked extremely annoyed. She brushed some short strawberry-blonde hair behind her ear and tightened her fist.

"They're irksome," Strawberry muttered.

Kaiba sighed. "No crap."

There's gotta be a simple solution to this, Kaiba thought.

1: Kill them. Probably not a smart idea, Kaiba reasoned.

2: Press charges against them. But they didn't do anything illegal.

Strawberry moaned. "I'll go check on Mokuba."

"Probably a good idea," Kaiba responded. "I've gotta do something about this."

He listened in as Strawberry checked on Mokuba.

"Mokuba, what are you doing?" Strawberry asked.

"I'm playing Simon Says Advance on my X-GameStation. Want to play?"

"Sounds like fun," Strawberry answered.

Suddenly a thought struck Kaiba.

---

Kaiba pushed open the front door of his mansion. Thousands of rabid fan girls screamed bloody murder. Kaiba wished desperately that he had earplugs, but he raised his hands to the crowd. They silenced.

"Ladies," Kaiba greeted, "I want to play a game with all of you."

A pair of girls nearly died. "A game?" one cried.

"Oh my gawd. A dream come true!" the other screamed.

"I wonder how good he is!" one girl screamed.

The other girl smacked her. "Nobody does it better, dork! It's Kaiba!"

Kaiba silenced the crowd again.

"All right. I think you all know how to play Simon Says, right?"

The girls looked at each other excitedly, and yelled their agreements.

"Well, I want to play a short game of Simon Says."

The girls nearly fainted. They would do ANYTHING Kaiba asked them to do.

"Okay. Simon Says… get in your cars," Kaiba smirked.

Every girl piled into her car. Some cars had three girls in them.

"Very good. Simon Says to put your keys in the ignition. Simon Says turn the car on." Kaiba's smirk grew wider.

The girls were a bit confused, but did as they were told. Hundreds of cars' motors revved up.

"Now listen carefully. Simon Says drive to the airport. Simon Says buy a ticket to the US. Simon Says watch some American movies, and fall in love with Orlando Bloom."

The girls had faces of disbelief plastered on them.

"Simon Says that the airlines are running a discount."

The girls took off in their cars.

Kaiba rubbed his hands together. His problem was gone! Seto nearly danced with his chair once he got inside.

Suddenly Mokuba and Strawberry dashed in.

"The screaming," Strawberry moaned, "it's gone!"

"Yay brother!" Mokuba yelled. "Free at last!"

Kaiba interlaced his fingers and pushed up. He was good.

---

A month later, Kaiba was checking his email. He was wading through thousands of emails from fan girls.

"I don't get it!" Kaiba yelled.

Strawberry frowned. "Will they be screaming again?"

Seto banged his head on his desk. If they broke the rules, they lost. Of course, if the fan girls thought that they lost, they would also know that they'd have no chance of ever being Mrs. Seto Kaiba.

Suddenly Kaiba remembered his exact words.

…fall in love with Orlando Bloom.

"I didn't say Simon Says," Kaiba mumbled. "Great…"

Strawberry kissed Kaiba lightly on the cheek. "You're still playing the game."

Kaiba rubbed his cheek. Another fan girl/secretary.

Kaiba highlighted all of the girls' email addresses, and sent a mass email.

"Simon Says, go email Chad Michael Murray."

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yugioh.

A/N: Many thanks to Lil Riter, who helped me come up with the idea for this.