I'm the kind of person who sets out to write a romance… and it turns into people obsessing over the Flintstones.

I know. I'm a sad, sad person.

If you can't tolerate silliness, then I'd suggest you don't read this.

Go away and read something good, whilst I hide in a giant oven mitt and feel sorry for myself.

Flintstones, meet the Flintstones! They're the modern Stone Age family! From the, town of Bedrock! They're a page right about of history…

From the kitchen, he could hear odd, English music coming out of the TV. What on earth were they saying? Perhaps he should go and investigate…

Let's ride, with the family down the street! Through the, courtesy of Fred's two feet! When you're, with the Flintstones…

How curious.

Have a yabba-dabba-doo time, a dabba-do time… you'll have a gay ol' time!

Yabba… what? Now, Touya Akira hadn't watched a great deal of television, except for Go matches, of course. Yet, today, with this strange new programming, he decided to give it a go. MUA HA HA!!! That was a great pun. …Or not.

Thankfully, there were subtitles on the bottom of the screen, so he could make out what they were saying. So far, he had gathered this much. It was some sort of cartoon… about cavemen.

This is stupid, he thought to himself. I Why would anyone want to waste time watching some stupid slapstick about a fat caveman? There's even a laugh track… as if it's so bad, they need to tell the people what's supposed to be funny …

Despite these thoughts, Akira decided not to get up, and he didn't know why. He would get up eventually… Not just yet, anyway. He figured he'd sat through most of it; he might as well watch the rest…

But then a second episode started, and again, Akira did not move. What was going on with him?

That's it, he thought again, I must be going insane. I do not want to watch this. It is a stupid, pointless, waste of airspace, which could be used for better things. Like Go. Why do-

His thoughts were abruptly cut off when Fred has dropped a big rock on his foot, and Akira found himself laughing hysterically.

What!? Why am I laughing!? Only a moron would find that funny! If that actually happened, you're foot could be-

He dropped the rock on his foot again, and Touya broke out into uproarious laughter.

"Akira-san? Is there something wrong…?" he heard his mother call from… um, some other room.

He quickly realized that he had been laughing like a lunatic, stopped, and said, "I'm sorry, mother. I just…"

Mrs. Touya walked into the living room, and smiled happily, "That's the first time I've heard you laugh like since you're pet fish was run over…"

Touya's eyes widened in horror. "… you said Mr. Dumplings ran away!!!"

"Oh, yes… that was you're father who laughed. Um… forget we ever had this conversation." She hastily left the room.

Akira was grief stricken… How could someone kill Mr. Dumplings? It was heartless… He didn't know how long he could go on. Knowing the truth… he-

But he promptly forgot about his beloved fish when Fred dropped a ladder on Barney's head, and he began to laugh like a hippopotamus stepping on a colony of ants.

… if hippopotamuses laugh when they do that.

"Kouyo… I'm getting a bit worried about him…" Touya Akiko said to her husband as she observed their son, who was glued to the couch. "He's been watching that thing for three hours straight…"

The man said nothing.

"This just isn't normal for him."

Still, her husband said nothing.

"Kouyo, are you listening to a word I say?" She turned around to look at him.

He had fallen asleep in his bowl of bran flakes.

"…"

Why he was eating bran flakes… I do not wish to know.

"That's it," Akira said to himself, "I need to study before bed. I have an important game tomorrow with a powerful opponent and cannot continue to watch this drabble." He stood up.

There was something, though… something that told him he should just sit right back down and continue to watch the Flintstones until his eyes turned purple.

He dismissed this gut feeling as a simple television mind trick, though, and quickly headed up the stairs.

After his long, tiring journey from the lower level of the house, Akira finally entered his room. He opened the closet, pulled out is futon, and an ugly pair of flannel pajamas with stupid flowers on them (which he thought to be quite stylish) and began to get changed. That's when he heard it.

"Wilma! I'm home!"

Deep within his mind, he knew he wanted to run down the stairs, plant himself upon the couch, and see what hilarious mishaps Fred and Barney would get into. But he knew he couldn't. Therefore, he did what any sane person would do, and screamed, "NO! I'm supposed to be thinking about Go! About GO! WHY WON'T THOSE STUPID CAVEMEN GET OUT OF MY HEAD!?"

Now, Akiko was growing even more worried. On one hand, she was glad that Akira was doing a normal, teenager thing, like watching TV. On the other hand, she was not so glad that he was shrieking, 'WHY WON'T THOSE STUPID CAVEMEN GET OUT OF MY HEAD!?'

"Kouyo… I've been thinking… do you think that we put to much pressure Akira-san with his Go? Do you think it may be affecting his mental health?" she pondered as she looked at her husband.

This time, Touya Kouyo actually was awake, having felt refreshed from his bran-tastical nap. He gave a smile, and said, "No, dearest. Although Go may be mentally stressful at times, it is an enlightening game. I've been playing Go all of my life, and I turned out fine."

Then, blissfully, he fell asleep in his bowl of corn-pops. I guess his last nap wasn't that bran-tastical after all.

Pacing around his room, Akira solved problems of life and death in his head, in an effort to dispel all thoughts of a certain cheetah-clad portly primitive.

Circling around like this proved to do nothing though, as circles have been found to be quite the mental nuisance at times.

"Heya, Barn. Comin' bowling tonight?"

No! Curse that TV! Why hadn't he turned it off before coming upstairs? How was he supposed to distract himself from that annoyance of a show when he was being distracted by it?

There was always the option of going down the stairs, shutting off that box of evil, drugging himself, and happily drifting off to sleep. Yet, this would not work. If he ventured downstairs, no matter what his original intentions, he would only end up parking himself to the couch, and Akira knew this as well as Herald the Alligator did.

Yes. He definitely needed to reroute his mind somehow before he continued comparing his own knowledge to that of fictional animals.

What he needed to do was think about something… something that he liked, that would absorb him. But what?

Flopping down on his futon, then cursing himself for trying to flop down on a futon, he rubbed his newly injured bottom and said aloud, "What do I usually think about? I think about Go, and… Go… and… um… Go… and… uh…"

An image of a certain bleached-blonde-banged-boy made it's way into his mind, along with a thought of how stupid that sentence sounded with so many b's.

Akira's eyes went wide, as he breathed, "Shindou…"

He had made a deal with himself that he was not going to think about Shindou so… 'Obsessively,' as some like to put it. Still, the problem with this was that his subconscious had already etched the name into his permanent vocabulary, and had a bad habit of saying it every five minutes.

I mustn't think about Shindou. No. I won't.

"Yabba-dabba-do!!!"

Sighing as he heard the idiot box blaring from below, he realized that of his two favorite topics, Shindou was the only one proving to provide any help. Touya sighed to himself.

Shindou. Hm…What is it about him anyway? He's such a mystery… he played so amazingly well during our first two games, but then our junior high tournament match… Akira bit his lip. That was a memory he didn't feel like… well, remembering.

What else about Shindou? He's so rude sometimes. I can't believe him. But… I suppose it's kind of in a cute way.

The little man with the construction worker's hat that lives in Akira's mind decided to ignore that last mental comment.

Stretching a bit, he rolled over on his futon, recalling the last time they met at the Go Salon…

Touya huffed as he observed his rival sitting down across from him. How Shindou-like, he thought, showing up late then giving a stupid excuse, "Oh, I was busy. Sorry."

But it doesn't matter. He's here, and if I start complaining now, we'll just start fighting and we won't get to play.

Hikaru seemed distracted by something. Not something that was in the Go salon, no. He seemed fidgety, like he couldn't wait to get out of his seat.

Both boys opened their go kes, took out a few stones each, and placed them on the board. It seemed that Touya was black, and Shindou white.

However, because my talents for go are comparable to those of a dyslexic chimpanzee, we'll just skip fine details. Although, in order to add to my own self-esteem, I will try to sound as though I know what I'm talking about.

Play did not proceed as it usually did; while Akira played with great strength, the flow of Shindou's stones were clearly off, making the competition one sided. He had missed obvious moves to increase territory, even failed to solve simple life and death problems. Touya had emerged victorious in the end by a whole 23 moku.

His eyes growing fierce, Akira stared at his rival and shouted "What's wrong with you!? That was pathetic!" He had a feeling inside him now similar to the one he felt after his much sought after match in junior high.

"Look… Touya… I need to go. I'm sorry." Hikaru said quietly as he quickly left the building.

Our hero… or at least our colour-blind Go pro type dude… thing… sighed to himself, frowning upon that memory. Why did he do that? Was it because Shindou didn't want to spend time with him anymore?

Suddenly, he felt his heart sink, and he didn't know why. Perhaps it was because he didn't want to loose his eternal rival, or perhaps it was because he felt like he didn't really have many friends. Or maybe he was feeling something else inside of him. Something new…

Meanwhile… In Touya Akira's subconscious…

The man in Touya's head scratched his construction hat. How to process this thought… what exactly was the feeling being felt here?

"Hmm…" he shuffled through papers, "If it ain't jealousy, friendship, or rivalry… den what is it? Jeez, I'm gonna need some help wit dis… Oi, Jerry! Whaddaya think o' dis?" He spoke into the little intercom to his left.

A voice came up through the speakers, "Lessee here, I think what we got 'ere is, eh… love, maybe?"

"Hm… you're right. But I don't think he gets it. How we gonna let this kid know?"

"Eh, maybe sing 'em a song?"

The man in the hat grinned, said, "I think you're lookin' at a promotion here, Jer." And reached to pick up the microphone to his right…

And yes, my friends. We all have little men living in our heads that help us with decision-making. They're really quite helpful, you know.

For some reason… Akira randomly heard this in his head.

Um… is dis thing on? Okay den, uh… lessee… Oh, I got one. Ahem… Dere's a calm surrenda… to da rush o' day… when da heat of a' rollin' winds, can't be turned away… an enchanted moment… an' it sees me trough… it's enough fo' dis restless… ah, crap, how does dat song go…

Akira decided to ignore that, in order to keep himself from questioning his own mental sanity... again.

Well, that didn't work out. The man grabbed his intercom again, and spoke into it, "Got any other ideas?"

His response was, "Eh… a clip show?"

Reluctantly, the man thought, That'll hafta do…

As if that strange song wasn't enough, Akira suddenly got an odd series of images of Shindou on his head. There was even bad elevator music in the background. Why… it looked like a clip show.

"… that's it. I've gone insane," he said aloud.

Crap! That didn't work either! The little man decided that he needed to be a little more straightforward…

Eh, Akira.

What? Now he was hearing voices in his head?

Eh, Akira!

"What?" Touya was definitely confused now.

Listen, Akira. I think we need to-

"Who are you…?"

I'm your… eh, conscience. Now look, you've got a slight problem.

"What do you mean…?"

Well, you see… your… how shall I put dis… you're… not exactly… straight.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Look, kid. I've got tings to do, places to go, people to see. What I'm tryin' to say here is dat… you're gay and in love with Shindou.

"… what…?"

I said you're gay and in love with Shindou. Got it, kid?

"… I-"

Good.

The voice did not come back after that, which left Akira almost as confused as he was before. But after a few moments of thought, he realized that what his so-called 'conscience' had said was right. He and Shindou, they almost seemed… natural together.

Then, after a few more moments of realization, he realized that this whole situation was about as natural as a naked man bargaining with a dead moose.

In addition, the thought of a naked man bargaining with a dead moose was just about as scary as canned soup. Which, really, wasn't that scary. Therefore, I suppose that 'canned soup' should be replaced with 'realizing that he was gay and potentially insane'.

There. Now everything made sense. Well actually, it really didn't make any sense. So Touya decided that he would go to sleep and forget anything happened. Sleep, though, did not come easily.

Akira found himself wondering, as he lay on futon, 'I wonder if Shindou likes me back? I wonder what father will think of me now? I wonder what episode of the Flintstones is on? I wonder how they get those tiny bits of cheese in between those mushrooms?' And so forth.

Little did he know, however, that Shindou was having a similar problem…

Yes, Akira, I too, wonder how they get those tiny bits of cheese into the mushrooms.

So… uh, FRENCH FRIES! Have a lovely afternoon. Chapter two… coming soon. Well, actually it's up now. READ IT!!! Please and thank you.