'Ello, all, this is my first YYH fic, if that means anything special. Well, actually, I DID start a Halloween one, but... it's November now... (cough, cough)

Anyway, I was inspired to write this by Counterproductive Squirrels' "Exploits of the Rich and Famous," though I have no idea I how came up with the plot.

Also, I took a few liberties with Kuronue's personality. They don't really lay one down for you, do they? ...Do they???

Also, special thanks to BeagleBLOOMerz for betaing, and to Mary Sue who didn't really do anything except laugh and kick me. In fact, I'll probably get a kick just for that.

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH. Yay for me. I shall not repeat myself throughout this fic.

Me, Myself, and Kuronue

-::- Piece of Pie -::-

In the realm of Yu Yu Hakusho fanfiction, the Reikai Tantei end up at each other's houses for some very odd reasons. Sometimes they need a quiet place to heal a girl with clothes that are described to the point it's painful, sometimes they hold video game mini-tournaments, and sometimes they bake muffins. Today, however, they were attending a birthday party.

Kurama didn't particularly mind having the tantei at his house, but the idea of having such a childish party, complete with cone shaped hats and pin the tail on the donkey, was a bit embarrassing. But he supposed he didn't have to let the rest know about the basket full of prizes for the watermelon seed-spitting contest in the closet as his mother, who had organized the thing, was conveniently out of town.

Too bad he hadn't noticed the board games she left out.

"I still want to know why you have Pretty Pretty Princess, Kurama," Yusuke said cheerfully as he fastened a clip-on earring to his nostril. "Look, I'm a rock star!"

"That's disgusting, Yusuke," Keiko chided as Botan moved the abhorrently fake looking ring that served as her playing piece. The game was only meant for four people, after all.

"Bingo! Kuwa-chan, I get the blue ring."

"But it's my piece!" the carrot top objected.

Yukina, with the cheesy plastic crown placed majestically upon her teal tresses, smiled gently at Kuwabara. "You can take my black ring; I have no use for it."

"Oh, Yukina-san, brilliant moon in my dark night sky, thank you!" He beamed at her. "Here, take the pink necklace as a token of my thanks!"

Kurama sighed, not willing to comment on how many rules they had just broken, and spun for his turn. The needle landed on four, and he won another bracelet for his collection.

Hiei sat in a corner scowling at them. He still had his pride.

The game progressed until Yusuke became fed up with his apparent lack of luck, threw his piece across the room, and stomped into the kitchen to get cake and ice cream. Kurama, seizing the opportunity to escape the game obviously intended for five-year-old girls bored of My Little Pony, Easy Bake Over, and Flip n' Dive Barbie, followed him in the quickest way possible without looking like he wanted to ran away screaming.

Yusuke removed the cake from its place next to the kitchen sink and set it on the dining room table. It was an incredible, three-layered mass of poisonously chocolate goodness. The words "Happy Birthday, Suuichi!" adorned the deliciously dark icing, and blood red sugary roses danced around the circumference. It was all Yusuke could do to keep from drooling all over it.

"CAKE!!" Botan squealed, leaping up. She half sprinted, half pranced across the room to the culinary masterpiece, but her foot caught itself under the Oriental rug and she fell, narrowly missing a smack on the forehead from the protruding and dangerously sharp table corner.

Unfortunately, Kuwabara had the same idea and tripped over her. And, also unfortunately, things tend to be a little bit too dramatic in anime. Kuwabara did not just trip. He went flying. Flying over the ferry girl; flying over the table. Flying right into the cake.

Needless to say, it was ruined.

Kurama walked out of the kitchen with several bowls of ice cream just in time to be splattered with cake. He stopped at the doorway and blink at them through the chocolate pox covering his expressionless face. Kuwabara's gaze apologetically up at the red head from behind a mask of dark pastry slowly flaking from his face as the he stumbled off the table.

"Sorry, guys," he said sheepishly.

"It's okay," Kurama replied. "We still have ice cream."

"I'm sorry too," said Botan as she picked herself of the floor. "I shouldn't have been running in your hou--" She was cut off by a loud sob coming from Yusuke's general direction.

"Th-the cake..." The lip of the bold and fearless leader of Team Urameshi trembled as he fell to his knees. "It's... it's... gone..."

"Look, I'll make a new cake," Kuwabara offered.

"You're going to cook...?" Keiko asked with a worried look on her face. Memories of the bake sale still haunted her...

"Oh, don't worry, Keiko," Botan smiled, regaining her perpetually bubbly attitude. "I'll help him. How hard can it be?"

With that, the pair filed past Kurama into the Minamino kitchen and shut the door. The former thief passed out the ice cream, and contemplated on the phrase "piece of cake."

If something was a piece of cake, it was either an actual piece of cake or was something very easy to do. Opening a door is a piece of cake (usually). Brushing your hair is a piece of cake (usually). Changing a light bulb is a piece of cake (sometimes). But was baking a cake a piece of cake? One would think so, what with the wording and all, but all those aforementioned pieces of cakes were accompanied by an parenthesized adverb that denoted the idea that a piece of cake was always a piece of cake. Perhaps it was sometimes a piece of pie?

"I want some more." A demanding voice jolted Kurama out of his thoughts. Blinking downwards, he found himself seated next to Hiei, who was cradling a large ice cream bowl that looked suspiciously as though it had been licked clean.

"I thought you didn't like ningen food."

"...I'm entitled to make exceptions."

Kurama rolled his eyes, stood, and waltzed over to the kitchen. "One bowl of ice cream coming up," he said sarcastically. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hiei attack his barely touched ice cream. "Make that two bowls," he muttered and opened the door...

...only to come face to face with disaster. A gooey yellow substance covered the floor and counter, and egg dripped from the ceiling. The refrigerator and all the cabinets were open, their contents scattered about the room. Botan, covered with flour, was feverishly mixing together what appeared to be paprika, soy sauce, and toast. Kuwabara was yelling nonsense and trying to put out the fire engulfing a fruit salad that contained anchovies for some reason, and the oven was glowing crimson.

"What are you doing?!" The former thief yelled, rushing over to the oven. He leaned over to turn it off, but and soon as his hand made contact with the dial, he saw a flash of dramatically clichéd blue light and felt himself be thrown backwards be an invisible force. He mentally readied himself for a collision with the sink, but none came.

This wasn't good.

----

Kuronue glared at the cerulean lake from atop the hill upon which he was lounging. Rolling onto his side, he turned his glare to his partner, also sprawled across the grass.

"Kurama?"

"What?"

"I'm bored."

"Well, find something to do, then."

Silence.

"Kurama?"

"What?"

"I want a popsicle."

"Then go buy one."

More silence.

"Kurama?"

"What?"

"We're thieves."

"So steal your damn popsicle, the hell do I care?"

Even more silence.

"Kurama?"

"WHAT?!"

"Where's the popsicle stand?"

Youko Kurama's hands twitched threateningly as he considered strangling his "friend." Luckily for Kuronue, the fox demon's murderous thoughts were cut of by a loud splash from the lake. The two stared at the disturbed water and got to their feet as it settled, only to figure abruptly appear from its depths and waded to shore.

The figure, the demons noted as they calmly wandered down the hillside to investigate, was actually a boy with long, thick ruby hair and emerald eyes that made girls swoon. He had a feminine look to him, if the two references to precious gems didn't clue you in. The boy froze as soon as he spotted the two, though not by their misjudgment of fear.

The look on his face read something along the lines of 'Oh, crap....'

Youko Kurama stopped a yard in front of him and sneered. "You smell... human," he announced.

The OTHER Kurama sighed internally and vaguely wondered how he managed not only to be shot back in time but into Makai by an average, everyday human oven of all things.

"How do you know what a human smells like if you've never even been to Ningenkai?" he answered coolly.

There was a prolonged silence.

"Y'know, he's got you there, Kurama."

"Shut up, Kuronue."

"I will if you get me a popsicle."

"Will you stop with the popsicles?"

"But I really want one..."

"Well, dammit Kuronue, there AREN'T any popsicles around here!"

Modern day Kurama cleared his throat. "Pardon my intrusion, but I seem to be lost. Would you mind telling me where I am?"

Youko Kurama's attention snapped from one annoyance to another. "Just who the hell are you, anyway?"

"Suuichi Minamino." The so-dubbed Suuichi bowed. "And you are the great Youko Kurama and Kuronue, I presume?"

"That'd be us," the bat demon confirmed.

"Glad that you've heard of us," Youko Kurama cut in, "Now get the hell away from us."

Kurama stared unblinkingly at his past self. "I'm sorry, I can't do that."

"Is that a threat?" Youko Kurama growled and took a menacing step forward.

Suddenly, before the other Kurama could reply, a giant, slimy blue demon burst forth from the lake.

"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO DARES ENTER THE TERRITORY OF THE GREAT LAKE DEMON GOZURO?!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kuronue raised an eyebrow. "Bit of a delayed reaction, don'tchya think?"

"SILENCE, FOOLISH UNDERLING!!!!!!!!!!!! ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Youko Kurama smirked and nodded his head toward the imposing demon. "Tell you what, Suuichi. If you can defeat this moron, we'll let you come with. If you can't..." he shrugged. "You die."

"Fair enough." The other answered, turning toward the hulking mass of scales towering over him.

The demon probably didn't have much power, but then again it looked a lot stronger than Kurama did. Oh well, no harm there, it would be easy to...

His hand stopped half way to his hair. He couldn't use that... His past self would get suspicious. In fact, he probably shouldn't use any sort of plant in front of the thieves.

The monster roared and blundered out of the lake. Kurama, at a loss for what to do, struck a defensive stance. Why did all his techniques involve plants? Why hadn't he come up with any new weapons since he trapped himself in ningenkai? Why hadn't he worked on his physical strength more? How was he going to beat a giant water demon without any sort of botanical help? And WHY was Kuronue yammering in the background about frozen juice???