The Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
Summary : After the war Harry traded his life in the UK for life in the US. Now he appears in the news in Britain and the States for his lavish and sometimes outrageous lifestyle. What can his old friends do to get their friend back?
Chapter One
Ginny Weasley trudged down the stairs in her fluffy pink slippers, deeply in the need of a cup of coffee, only to find the coffee pot empty. Couldn't Jake fill it before he left for work? He knew she would be wanting coffee when she got up. Jake was her absent minded, unthoughtful fiancé, but why she was even going to marry him was beyond her. 'I'm going to marry him,' she thought 'because the man I want I can't have. AND because mum and dad want me to.' Of course her parents didn't exactly want her to marry him. Their first choice was Harry, as was hers. But they hadn't heard from Harry in months, and he wasn't exactly the angel he used to be. There seemed to be a new girlfriend, or scandal (sometimes the girlfriend was a part of the scandal, especially that time when Nick Lachey -some muggle singer, the papers had said- caught Harry and his wife -some other muggle singer- in bed, his bed actually, when Jessica thought he was in another country. It had been a very interesting situation and the Prophet had regretted not having any pictures.) So the Weasley parents settled on Jake. Good, respectable, boring Jake. Course he couldn't help it he was born without a personality. But on the plus side, he did have a good deal of money, but that hardly made up for her having to sleep with him. Sighing and adjusting her fur coat (which she always wore, in the mornings in place of a bathrobe), she zapped the coffee pot with her wand and sat down to read the Daily Prophet. The first thing she noticed were coffee spots all over the paper from Jake's sloppy drinking The second thing she noticed was the headline ... HARRY POTTER ATTACKS PAPARAZZI AFTER DRUNKEN NIGHT IN CLUBING! TURN TO PAGE 6 TO READ MORE!
A little farther down the front of the cover.
PICTURES OF HARRY POTTER WITHOUT HIS SHIRT ON! PAGES 3-5!
Ginny made a disgusted noise, though she was highly tempted to go look. She turned to page six out of curiosity and saw.
'When Mr. Potter was confronted about this his slurred reply was, "You don't know me!"'
Yes she was defiantly disgusted, so she turned to page 10 and read an article on hair-care instead. Besides, what else had she to do?
"Oh god," Harry murmured sitting up. "My head!"
"What's wrong baby?"
"Oh, go back to sleep," Harry said annoyed, turning to the woman he had no recollection of meeting. She obliged and began snoring. Harry frowned. He sure could pick 'em. Harry pulled on his black cashmere bathrobe and slowly made his way down the stairs, thanking god that the walls were sound proof so he couldn't hear the birds chirping (or the snoring woman upstairs). Harry sat down at his breakfast nook and grabbed the two newspapers on the table and pulled them forward to him. One was the Daily Prophet from England and the other was the Daily Shout Out from the United States. Both said the same thing, practically except the American title said: HARRY POTTER ATTACKS PAPARAZZI AFTER DRUNKEN NIGHT CLUBBING, DAWG! TURN TO PAGE 6 TO READ MORE!
"Ooh," said Harry with interest. "Pictures of me without my shirt on!"
After a boring morning of wandering around the house with nothing to do, Ginny decided to go visit her mum who was probably lonely with only jobless Ron to keep her company now with her dad at work.
"Hello, dear," said Mrs. Weasley seeing her daughter walking in. "Want a sandwich? I'm making Ron a sandwich."
"Why doesn't Ron get a job? I mean Hermione has a job."
"Oh well, we shouldn't judge."
"Slacker," Ginny said as Ron walked in.
"Bitch," Ron replied.
"Ronald Weasley! You will not use that kind of language in my house, especially against your sister! Apologize."
"Fine, I'm sorry Ginny," Ron mumbled.
"That's quite all right, Ronald, I accept your apology," Ginny said diplomatically.
"See how good your sister is?" said Mrs. Weasley.
Ginny smirked.
"So Ginny, how are you and Jake?" Mrs. Weasley asked.
"Oh we're great," Ginny said enthusiastically. "He and I are doing really well. Er," she paused thinking of something else good to say. "We, er, really love each other," she finished, grimacing.
"Liar," Ron mouthed.
"Shut up," Ginny mouthed back.
"I didn't say anything," mouthed back Ron.
"Oh well you two stop it!" said Mrs. Weasley.
"How did you know we were doing anything?" Ron asked.
"You're always doing something," said Mrs. Weasley.
"Like Harry," said Ginny.
"Ginny, that's crude."
"Well it's true," Ginny said. "He's always doing something or someone. Did you see the Daily Prophet?" Her mother sighed. "Yes I did. Oh I wish Harry would start acting better! We are all so disappointed in him!"
"Have you told him that?" Ron asked.
"Well no, we don't know where to contact him at! Oh, and I know Remus would give him a stern talking to!" Mrs. Weasley said.
"Oh I'm sure that would set him straight!"
"I didn't know he was gay," said Ginny.
"Oh, Ginny, you're as bad as he is!"
"I'm not gay!"
"Not you, Ron, and Harry's not gay. There's proof of that all over the news."
"I know, I was just messing around," said Ginny.
"Well don't. Don't you know how hard it is on us all? And poor Dumbledore! When this first started, I thought he was going to have a heart attack. I don't know what's gotten into Harry!" Mrs. Weasley said sadly.
"I don't know if anything's gotten into Harry, it's whose Harry gotten into?" said Ron.
"Oh enough you two!"