Hands

Chapter 6

Once Kairi had been released from the medicinal ward, and was making a full recovery, she and Wakka began to see each other more regularly than before. And, very slowly, his healing process began. It may have been the love that she gave him, and that he gave her in return, or it may have been the fact that he could talk openly about what had happened to him with somebody. He needed that more than anything else, I think.

Riku and I were still preparing ourselves for the reveal to Tidus and Selphie. With newfound hope that everything would turn out okay, and constant reassurance from Wakka and Kairi, we were beginning to be less scared, and more excited. The relief that we had found in telling Wakka had been immense, and we were eager to relieve the tension with everyone else.

September came and went, as all months do, and we were soon in the cooler months of October. Decorations could be seen everywhere, and people were happy and excitable. Halloween has always been a fun holiday on Destiny Island, no matter what else was wrong with the world. Riku and I made our own form of celebration by finally moving into the same house together. (With two beds of course, and claiming that each of us had our own respective rooms. This was met with chuckling and laughter from Kairi and Wakka. Wakka, in particular, was silenced with a quick punch to the arm—Kairi, not so easily so.)

Now that we lived together, nights seemed a bit—for want of a better word—awkward to me. We had never had sex, or anything close to it, so sleeping together put a new pressure on me. I didn't know if he had ever done it—nor, I confess, would I have asked. But this not knowing put a certain pressure on me. I can't say exactly what it was, but waking up in the middle of the night, with his arm around me, did things, as you could probably have figured out on your own. I'm not sure if I was pressuring myself or if his presence alone was, but I felt that it would happen soon.

We were approaching the final days of October. The wind was crisp with the coming winter air, but it still held some of the calm tides of fall. The day before the party, as came to get into bed with Riku, I noticed that he was still wide-awake. He was usually half asleep by the time I got into bed; just awake enough to wrap his arms around me before drifting off. I sit down beside him and pulled the covers up to my waist, and he gestured me to lie on his shoulder. I complied. Stroking my hair, he said, "Are you nervous about tomorrow?"

I nodded. "As happy as I'll be to get it off my chest…"

He sighed in agreement. "There's always the risk of losing them," he finished for me.

He looked straight into my eyes, in that penetrating way that only he can, and said, "Has something been bothering you that I should know about?"

I laughed. "Only you would be able to tell," I said nervously. Looking down at his chest, I began to get more and more nervous.

"Spit it out before you kill yourself worrying," he said with a laugh.

"It's just…we sleep together so often and…"

"Ahh," he said, coming to the realization. Taking my chin into his hand, much like a father would, he said, "Lie on my stomach. Get comfortable."

I obeyed, nervously.

"Look here," he said, pointing to his heart. "What do you see?"

"Your chest, where your heart should be."

He took my hand, placing it on his chest where his own hand had been. "What do you feel?"

I felt his heart pounding beneath my fingertips for a moment, and then said, "Your heartbeat."

Pulling my head up to where my hand had been, so my ear was level with it, he said, "What do you hear?"

"Your heartbeat." I said, enjoying the sound, and its comfort.

"That—my heartbeat—will always be for you. Nothing will change. I love you, Sora. I will wait until you are ready to do such things. I will not ask, I will not pressure. And when the time comes, I will not ask you if you are ready, because that often makes a man lose his courage in the moment. I am content to wait" he said, looking down at me, forcing me up, and putting his own ear against my heart, "and to listen."

I held him in my arms, glad for his reassurance, and then let him lie on his back. I fell asleep on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

When I woke up, Riku was changing into his Halloween costume. He was wearing cat ears and a cat tail, just as I was. He had made silver to match his hair, and brown to match mine. We got more than a few comments that we were cute, which Riku met with a smile, while I met them with a swift smack to the head in the case of Wakka. Kairi made a huge joke out of tugging on my tail. She was wearing a witch's costume.

The party turned out to be more fun than I had in a while. The punch was great—paopu flavored. I laughed and clapped as I watched Kairi and Wakka drink it together, and smiled at the happiness in their eyes as they kissed for the first time. "Want some?" said a voice in my ear. Riku was on my shoulder.

"Maybe after we tell them, eh?" I said with a laugh. He smiled and then said, "It's late. We should get this done soon. Before everyone goes home."

I gulped and nodded. He took my hand and led me up to a wooden crate, which we proceeded to stand on together.

"Sora and I have an announcement to make," he said, looking to me. "Should you tell them, or should I?"

His eyes said it all for me; he wanted me to tell them. I nodded, and looked to the room, into the faces of my four friends. Selphie and Tidus looked confused, but Kairi and Wakka looked happier than I had seen them in a while. Wakka even gave a little cheer.

"Selphie, Tidus…you guys are my best friends. You've been there for me through thick and thin. And I hope that you'll be here for me through this, as well. I," I hesitated for a moment, looked down, then gathered my thoughts and looked up again. "I love Riku. We're together. We're in love."

The room was silent for a moment, and Kairi looked over to Tidus and Selphie, who looked stupefied. Quickly, though, a smile broke on Tidus's face. "I knew it! I knew it!" and he started cheering. Selphie laughed and smiled, and then came to hug Riku and me.

"Why didn't you tell us earlier, silly?" she said as she hugged me for the third or fourth time.

"I didn't know what you'd think," I said, laughing through her unstoppable glomps.

Riku and I kissed in the middle of everyone, and cheers followed from all our friends.

The party continued on into the wee hours of the morning. We laughed, and drank paopu juice until we could barely move for fear of floating away. When I finally crawled into bed with Riku, feeling completely safe and happy for the first time in months, I curled up next to him, gladly accepting the darkness that came over me so easily.