Hello to all my regular readers and to any new ones brave enough to give a Snape and Own Character story a try. It's not essential for you to have read Madness With The Bliss before you read this story, but you might like to. I love to get your reviews - it makes me work all the harder on making the story entertaining, and sometimes they have even influenced story lines. So even if it's only 'hi' - leave a review just to let me know you're reading. Thanks.
The genre section only allows a list of two, so I should tell you now this story will not be just romance and humour. There will be drama and angst in it too.
For the very first time, I have a betareader - JessiokaFroka - who also betareads for Grill, and I want to thank her in advance for being my safety net.
Chapter One
SHOPAHOLIC IN DIAGON ALLEY It was like stepping back in time.
Not a neon light or MacDonald's in sight.
Diagon Alley was bursting with all the noise, smells and charm of a Shakespearean market place. Well, perhaps not all the smells. No foul ones, at least.
At the age of twenty-seven, Andrea Carver was new to the wizarding world. Just a few weeks ago she had accidentally stumbled into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry - and it had, quite literally, changed her life.
She had discovered she had wizarding ancestry, been offered a teaching position at Hogwarts and, most importantly, found a new love.
She couldn't remember life ever feeling so good.
Andi sniffed luxuriously as an enticing aroma wafted from 'Grizoloa's Coffee Pot', but the man at her elbow steered her past, intent on their mission.
"You're a bully. Can't we stop for a quick coffee?"
"My tolerance for shopping may stretch to an hour out of necessity," he said, scowling at yet another person who had jostled them. "But I warn you, do not try my patience. We shall stop for lunch at noon - will that suffice?"
"Typical male - allergic to shopping. Oh, just look at the robe in that window..." she teased.
He pushed open the door to 'Olivander's' and ushered her inside. Once again, Andi's eyes had to adjust to the dark interior of a wizard shop.
The shopkeeper looked up and seemed to do a double-take.
"Why Severus Snape! I never thought to see you again. It must be, what, thirty years? My, my - what water has passed beneath the bridge since then, hmmmm? Let me see - ebony, eleven inches, with a core of-"
"Thank you, Olivander. When I want a précis of my life I shall inform you." He turned to Andi. "This is Professor Carver. She requires a wand before she takes up her teaching position at Hogwarts."
Olivander's neck lengthened as he looked at Andi for the first time. He glanced at Snape, then Andi, then Snape again. "I...don't understand..."
Andi looked down at the floor. It had been the same in every shop they had been to. Whilst the shopkeepers were quite used to fresh wizards shopping for goods, they were usually eleven years old. Not many adults suddenly found out they had wizard blood and hence, she was treated as something of an oddball.
"Yes," said Snape through tight lips "I imagine that having sold wands for a mere three thousand years, 'requires a wand' must appear to be an odd request."
"I...I...was merely observing-"
"That I reek of Muggle. No, don't be embarrassed," she said, with an edge. "I'm getting used to the reaction."
"I...I..."
"Just find the wand, Olivander." said Snape, witheringly.
"Yes, of course...I...it's just that..."
"Yes?"
"Um...how should I put this...the Professor does not pervade a strong sense of...I wouldn't know where to start...I have thousands of wands, you see. Perhaps...would you mind taking my hands?"
Andi glanced at Snape and he nodded. Putting down her bag, she stepped forward and put her hands into the old man's. He held them for a moment, his eyes closed. Then he brought his hands over the top of hers and felt along to the wrists before running down to her fingers again.
He opened his eyes.
"You will be teaching music then, Professor?"
Andi gasped a laugh. "Yes."
He held up a finger, turned, stepped up two rungs of a ladder and pulled out a long thin box.
"Applewood, ten and one quarter inche, with a core of spiders' silks." He presented the wand to her.
She took it.
"Ooh, no!" she said, handing it back to him quickly as a feeling of paralysis crept up her fingers. "I don't like that."
"In that case," said Olivander, "It must be..." He rolled the ladder along and around a corner, climbed up six rungs and extracted a box from somewhere near the ceiling. "Tamarind, nine and seven eighths, Welsh dragon whisker."
She took the wand and this time a different feeling flowed into her fingers, a warm, stable sensation, as though the wand had always been there, finely balanced in her hand.
Olivander beamed. "A triumph! My skills surpass even my own expectations sometimes."
The last shop was Madam Malkin's. Andi needed a cloak. She chose a full-length black velvet one quite quickly, but the lining was proving difficult.
"What do you think?" she said, turning to him.
Snape barely glanced up from the newspaper. "Change the lining."
"Oh. I quite liked the pink."
"Purple?" said Madam Malkin, helpfully waving her wand and instantly changing the colour of the lining.
Snape glanced up again. "Better."
Andi chuckled. She couldn't in a million years ever imagine Severus Snape looking normal, but right now, sitting on a chair reading The Daily Prophet, he was like any other typical bored male accompanying a woman on a shopping trip.
He had come to Diagon Alley under heavy protest, but someone was needed to accompany her as she bought essentials for her new life at Hogwarts. Dumbledore had very kindly advanced her some wages, otherwise all her money was tied up in the bank in the Muggle world.
"That's it, isn't it?" she said, as they left Madam Malkin's. "That was the last shop. You promised me lunch - how about Italian?"
As they headed towards 'Antonio's', Andi couldn't help noticing the headlines on the newspaper stands.
"The murder is big news," she said.
"Yes. The House of Brook is a prominent family in the wizarding world. This murder may see its demise."
They found a corner table in 'Antonio's', gave their order and sipped wine as they waited.
"This is so different from Knightsbridge," she said.
"Knightsbridge? Enlighten me."
"Harrods; Harvey Nicks..."
"Shops? It defies explanation how females, witch or Muggle, can find pleasure in something so banal."
"Because it puts us on a high; because we like nice things and because we like surprising our men with our nice things - well, at least that's my experience anyway." She took a sip of wine. "I must admit, I was surprised at the reaction I got from the shopkeepers. It must be really obvious I'm fresh off the boat - do you mind?"
"Mind?"
"Being seen with a throw-back."
He stared at her.
"I was joking!" she said.
They were eating and drinking, talking about her forthcoming crash-course in magic, when a rather expensive-smelling perfume brought the conversation to a halt.
"Severus. How delightful."
They both looked up.
A rather classy-looking blonde woman stood before them. She was dressed in a pale lavender suit - floor-length straight-cut skirt and a safari-type jacket, clinched at the waist by a belt with a flying dragon buckle. Andi noticed beautifully manicured nails, lavender like her outfit, as the hand extended limply towards Snape.
Snape took the hand as he stood, bent his head and put his lips briefly to her knuckles.
"Narcissa."
"Tell me, what brings you out into the fresh air? Doing a little pre-term shopping..." She looked down at Andi. "With a pupil?"
Andi looked, wide-eyed, at Snape and she could see he was uncomfortable at being forced to introduce them both.
"Andrea, Narcissa Malfoy. Narcissa, Andrea Carver - the new Music mistress at Hogwarts."
Narcissa looked down her nose at Andi and did not offer her hand.
"Intriguing. Tell me, since when did Dumbledore stoop to employing Muggles?"
"To my knowledge, there are no Muggles on the staff at Hogwarts, Narcissa," he replied, pointedly.
"Lucius always maintained the teaching staff should be pure-blood."
"However, he is no longer on the board of governors due to his 'indisposition'," answered Snape, through cast iron lips. "Do send him my regards, the next time you visit."
"I shall. He is always interested to hear of any..." her eyes flickered nastily between Andi and Snape. "New developments." She looked down at the newspaper lying folded on the table. "Tragic news about the Brook woman."
Snape's eyes chilled even further.
"Not married a year," she continued. "Of course, he is the heir of a pure-blood family, and Jessica Brook was only a Muggle. People feel strongly about these things."
They regarded each other for a moment.
"Well, I shall leave you to lunch with your... colleague. Oh and Severus, don't be such a bore over Draco's work this year, hmmm? A few 'O's wouldn't snap your quill now, would they?"
She raised a hand and turned to go.
"Oh, just a moment, Mrs. Malfoy, you have a thread hanging..." Andi reached to the back of Narcissa's jacket and pulled an imaginary thread, leaving, unseen to the wearer, a rather messy tomato thumb print on the hem.
Andi looked at Snape as Narcissa disappeared out the door. "What a sweet woman. May we ask her to dinner sometime?"
"Hmmm. Of the family, she is the more palatable."
"Where's her husband?"
"In prison."
Andi gawfed. "And she can afford to be that snotty?"
"Oh, yes," answered Snape, darkly.
They continued eating.
"You didn't want to introduce us, did you."
"No."
"Because I'm a Muggle?"
"Because she is a bitch with powerful connections. And you are not a Muggle. Did you have to do that to her jacket?"
Andi put down her fork. "I'm sorry, I know it was childish, but she was just the final straw in a morning of snobby prejudice, you know? And I didn't like the way she spoke to you."
"Thank you," he smirked, "but I do not need tomato sauce to fight my battles."
"Nooo..." she said, putting her elbows on the table and leaning in closer to him. "Not when you have an impressive eleven inches-"
"Stop right there."
"What?" she said, indignantly.
"You were about to make some innuendo concerning the length of my wand. In under three weeks the school will be flooded with hundreds of little bastards all boasting about the size of their 'wand'. Believe me, I have heard every permutation of the joke."
"Oh. Well in that case, I won't carry on with my suggestion that we hurry back to Hogwarts so you can demonstrate how to use yours to the best effect." She smiled at him.
"Yes, that one too," he said, standing up and throwing a handful of coins onto the table. "However, I do admit to it sounding a great deal more interesting when directed at oneself. Shall we go?"