Disclaimer: my last disclaimer on this story! (sobs melodramatically) I own Merribell, Tawny, and Palmer, the gremlins, and the poem/songs, but, other than that, everything belongs to the great and holy Wizards of the Coast!
Yeah, everyone sings, riiiiiiiiiight.
This is my last chapter. Why? Because I hate the number 25. Don't ask why, I just do. So when I began writing this, I thought, I'll never write a chapter 25. Of course, then I expected this to be six or seven chapters, at most. Ah, how time changes . . .
And I also want to get to some serious work on my other fics. But never fear, for those who are not kender! I will return! (gleaming eyes) Read to find out more!
Oh, yes, the zombie bunny belongs to Kyra Skye. To find more zombie bunnies, you must go read her fic; Zombie Bunny. It's really quite funny.
Chapter 24
The One In Which We End The Story In A Way That Was Hinted At Before But Probably Forgotten.
"Let me go." Kit muttered angrily through her gag.
"No." was the gremlin's reply.
"Let me go."
"No."
"Let me go."
"Noooooooooo."
"Gods dang it! RELEASE ME OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!" Kit screamed, spitting out the gag. Not that hard to do, seeing as it was gremlin-size, and quite teeny.
"Ok!" the gremlin cried. "OK! Sheesh, keep your 'airnet on, willya?"
Two minutes later, Kit was released.
"You could say 'thank you.' " muttered the gremlin reproachfully.
"Ah," Kit scowled. "I could . . . but would I? Should I?"
"Yeah, well, I gues you could say 'thanks,' I don't really know if you would but my guess is that you wouldn't, and as to should you, I believe you should. After all, we only tied you up."
"And gagged me."
"And gagged you." the gremlin shrugged. "But that's it."
"You surpressed my creative artistic talent!" Kit's large, liquid brown eyes filled with tears. "You would not allow me to sing! SING! Boohoo, you're such bad people!" she began to sob into her hands. "Such bad, bad people!"
"Uh . . . . ?"the gremlins gawked.
"Are you ok?" a young female asked apprehensively, creeping closer to the weeping Kit.
"Ok!" Kit cried. "Oh, si, I'm ok! I've only been tied to a tree, forced to play twister, got trampled on, got hugged by a stupid dwarf, tied to a pole with a twizzler, then gagged and tied! Oh, yeah, sure, I'm ok!"
"You know, you're waaaayyyyyyy out of character." remarked another gremlin.
"HOW DARE YOU?" screamed Kit, drawing her sword. "I WILL MAKE YOU ALL PAY! YOU STOLE MY PENCIL, MY LOVE, AND MY APPLE! WELL, I WON'T HAVE IT! COME FATES COME, COME, CRUSH, CONCLUDE!" she lifted her arms, one hand clutchinga sword, to the darkening heavens. "I WILL MAKE THEM ALL PAY!"
She paused in her ranting and looked around. No gremlins were there to be found. Not a scrap of poem, lemon, or lime. Wow, what an incredebly stupid rhyme.
Apparently, they'd all fled from the insane girl with the big, sharp, pointy sword while she was ranting about apples.
Kit just stared at the place where they had been, slowly turning her head to regard the woods. No gremlins.
None.
She slumped to the ground and began doodling in the dirt with her big, sharp, pointy sword.
"To be blunt," grumbled said sword to itself, "I can't see the point."
Flint and Sturm lay a little ways from each other, snoring away. Dalamar grinned at his handiwork. Spellwork. Whatever.
But then his delicate elven ears caught something . . .
A chant . . . ?
"Dal . . . " he muttered, straining to hear. "and . . . lee? Dal-lee?" he frowned. "Dally. I wonder who that could be . . . "
His voice trailed off as he looked down at his robes.
"Oh. Dally." he muttered, realizing the awful truth.
"DALLY! DALLY! DAL-LY! WE LOOOOOOVE YOU!" the fangirls, who were quite near, shrieked.
Dalamar the Dark shuddered, turned, and fled. (smart elf.)
Raistlin, Caramon, Merribell, and Tas wandered about the woods, calling "Tawny! Tawny!"
OK, reality check. Caramon, Merribell, and Tas wandered about the woods, calling "Tawny! Tawny! Yoo-hoo, Tawny!" Raistlin scowled and plunked himself down onto the ground.
"C'mon, Raist, let's look for Tawny." Caramon tugged at Raistlin's sleeve.
"Fool!" Raistlin spat at his twin. "Do you seriously want to find that insane kender?"
"Ah . . . " Caramon thought. "No, not really . . . but I want to know where she is, she might be hurt . . . "
Raistlin's eyes took on a fanatic, panicked look. He didn't know where the insane kender was. "Oh, gods!" be breathed, leeping to his feet. "TAWNY!"
"See?" Tas told Merribell as Raistlin ran into the woods. "He really does care, deep down."
"He does?"
"Yup."
"Oh. Strange. I thought he just wanted to know where Tawny was so he could make sure she wasn't planning anything drastic, crazy, or weird." Merribell shrugged.
"Oh, you're so pessimistic." Tas replied.
"TAWNY!" screamed Raistlin. "I want to know where you are so I can make sure you aren't planning anything drastic, crazy, or weird!"
" . . . pessimistic, huh?" Merribell asked Tas.
"Well, ok, you win." Tas shrugged. "YOO-HOO! TAWNY!"
"TAWNY BABY!" called Caramon.
" . . . ?" were Raistlin's, Merribell's, and Tas's reactions.
"Tawny baby?" asked Raistlin in disgust.
"Yeah, well . . . "
"Ooooh!" sang Merribell. "Caramon and Tawny, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-!"
She didn't finish the age-old chant, due to the fact that Raistlin had tackled her, pinned her down, and was currently holding a knife to her throat. "Don't you dare finish that!"
"Ok!" Merribell nodded, pushing the knife away, eyes wide. "Wow, what a nice knife. Mind if I-?"
"Yes, I do mind!" snarled Raistlin as he snatched his knife from her pocket. "Kindly do not touch my stuff!"
"Kindly keep your stuff away from my throat!" Merribell snarled right back at Raistlin.
"Hey," Caramon pushed the two aside. "Be nice!"
"You wanna wrestle?" demanded Merribell.
"ME? Wrestle you?" Caramon gaped at the lithe kender. "I'd squash you!"
"You're on!" Merribell tackled Caramon.
Tas and Raistlin watched, open-mouthed, as Merribell somehow, some way, wrestled Caramon onto his stomach in the dirt, twisted his arms and legs around, and bashed him on the head with her hoopak, just to be safe. Admittedly, this took some time, but Merribell didn't even have a scratch on her by the time she was finished.
"Whoa." Tas stared at Merribell in awe. Raistlin couldn't help but snicker.
"Give!" Merribell challenged Caramon.
"Ok!" Caramon yelped the word as she twisted his arm. "Uncle! Uncle!"
"Uncle Trapspringer? Where?" Merribell hopped off of the big man as she looked around eagerly for Uncle Trapspringer. Caramon, rubbing himself, climbed to his feet.
"She whupped me." he whispered in disbelief to his twin.
"Yes she did." Raistlin snickered harder.
"It's not funny."
"Oh, yes, it is." Raistlin was laughing by now.
Tawny, as you can probably guess, was planning something drastic, crazy, and weird.
Now, Tawny Camellia Shamrock was not a paticularily cruel kender; in fact, she was a perfectly normal kender, albeit a rather drastic, crazy, and weird one. But then, all kender are drastic, crazy, and weird by other races' standards. Tawny was just drasticker, crazier, and weirder than the norm.
At this moment, she was watching a rather cute elf flee the clearing, with a rather large group of girls in hot pursuit, screaming rather loudly.Tawny had always wondered what 'hot pursuit' meant. Maybe the girls were hot - it had been, after all, a very hot day, except that now it was almost nighttime. She could still see her hand when she waved it in from of her face. The faint red light of waning Lunitari and the bright silver light of full Solinari, peaking out from behind the dark, thick clouds,mingled with the light of the fading sun as day neared its ending and the moons rose. Perched in her tree, Tawny marvelled at the beauty of the scene, sniffing a little.
When she had been a little baby kender, she had asked her da if she could have one of the moons. Her da had told her that if she had a moon, it wouldn't be in the sky, and then only she could see it. Tawny, thinking it over, was glad she had left the moon in the sky. She wanted everyone to see it.
"GET ON WITH THE STORY!"
Ok, ok. Sheesh. Gremlins. Impatient bullies, the lot of them.
Tawny swung down from her tree, skipping off in pursuit of the rather cute elf. Dodging the girls - who were, when she got close enough to see, foaming interestingly at the mouth - in a creepy sort of way - the fact that it was interesting, not the foam or the mouths - yeah - she crept up behind the rather cute elf, who had taken refuge beneath a bush.
"Hiiii!" she sang out cheerfully, making him jump and whirl about. "My name's Tawny Shamrock my isn't it a lovely day er night actually it's sort of dusky out with the moons and everything say who are those girls chasing you are those robes what are those are those real runes can I see ooh what's in your pouches by the way who are you?"
Dalamar stared at the kender, having absolutely no idea what she had said. In the space of five seconds, she had not only jabbered away, but had pointed at his robes, had one hand in his pouch, gestured around at the sky, and managed to keep smiling. That smile. It scared him.
"Grrr." a soft growl issued from somewhere behind the two. Tawny turned, but Dalamar, unwilling to take his eyes off the kender for one second, did not.
"Oooh, look, a bunny!" cried out Tawny, pointing. "Look at those cute fwuffy little ears and sweet twitchy nose and wuddle tail and those glowing red eyes-"
Dalamar was about to blast the kender three ways to the Abyss when it hit him.
"Glowing red eyes?" he asked, turning to see.
"Yup. Glowing red eyes." confirmed Tawny.
Dalamar stared.A bunny, a normal, sweet, cute wuddle bunny was standing there, twitching its nose,staring right backat the elf and the kender withglowing red eyes.
It growled again, a surprisingly feralsound issuing from such a sweet-looking creature.
"Uh,elfy?" Tawnybacked away,staring at the wabbit. "If we were going to run, now would be a good time to do it."
"I thought kender were immune to fear." muttered Dalamar.
"We are. It's just that I have this little fluttering feeling in my tummy and I think we should leave now."
"Good idea." Dalamar concluded. "Let's run away, swiftly and quietly."
"Ok."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" both Dalamar and Tawny screamed, turned, and ran away, making a huge comotion in the process.
"I heard something!" Rabid Fangirl Number One said, whirling around.
"Me too!" RFN2 answered, pointing.
"It sounded like an incredibly cute elf running away!"
"Yeah it did!"
The fangirls tensed, eyes gleamingcrimson in the moonlight.
"One." they pivoted as one towards the crashes.
"Two." they sank down into crouches, ready to spring.
"Three!" they lept up, dashing into the woods.
"Whew!" Tawny gasped, sagging against the tree. "I think . . . we . . . lost 'em."
Dalamar nodded, panting. They two shivered in thecool night air. The sun was but a bitty glow on the horizon, and even the moonlight was dimmed, hidden behind the clouds.
Suddenly, a twig broke.
On instant alert, Dalamar straightened and twisted his head in the twig's direction, tensed. Tawny quietly climbed into a tree, hiding in the leaves.
A howl split the silence, and then a dark shape left from the trees and tackled Dalamar.
"Damn you all." groaned Dalamar ten minutes later.
The fangirls had taken him by complete surprise, wrestling him to the ground and tying him up hand a foot. They had proceeded to break out the torture devices . . .
Dalamar shuddered and tried not to look at his bright pink toenails.
The horror. The ultimate horror.
"Hey," a fangirl shashayed up to him, tapping his nose. "You wanna know something?"
Dalamar looked around. He was surrounded. There was no hope.
"Nope." he said, then fainted.
Up in the tree, Tawny watched the proceedings with sorrowful eyes. She had been planning something drastic, crazy, and weird, but in the following events she had completely forgotten what it was. Now her elfy friend was in trouble.
She had to help.
Tawny had seen too many friends in trouble. Then she had been helpless, gulping back her tears. Now, however, she was not.
Grimly she took the scarves from her clothing and hair and hoopak and began tying them together to form a whip. She then readied her hoopak and scowled at the girls, preparing to jump.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Screaming for all she was worth, Tawny jumped out of the tree, twirling her whip.
The fangirls never knew what happened.
Tawny swung her hoopak at the girls standing guard over Dally, knocking them down. Another twirl of the whip kept them back. Whip, swing, whip, swing, whip, swing! She drove them off, screaming as loudly as she could.
They ran, howling, into the forest.
Tawny stood, breathing hard as she watched them run, then dropped her hoopak and scarf-whip and ran back to Dalamar. She tried vainly to pull the ropes of him but it was no use, she had no knife. Sighing, she brushed his hair from his face.
It was then that Raistlin found her.
She heard him, and turned, to see him come into the clearing. He took one look around and approached the elf.
"Where have you been?"
It was Tas's voice. Tawny turned to see Tas, and Merribell, and Caramon enter behind Raistlin. Tawny took a deep breath.
"Wow, Tawny." Merribell looked around at the small clearing. "You drove them off!"
"Does it seem odd to you that there are all these clearings in the forest around Solace?" Tas asked Merribell.
"Yeah, it does." she nodded.
Tawny took another deep breath, laughed, flung her arms around Tas, and began to cry.
"Hey, don't cry!" Tas said, patting her head. "You saved Dalamar!"
"I know!" Tawny cried harder. "I-it wasn't that! All those poor trees - they have to cut them down to make clearings, you know! No regard for nature . . . " her sobs faded to sniffles.
"I know." Merribell huffed.
"Look at that!" Tas reached out and caught one of Tawny's tears on his hand; it sparkled in the hidden light of Solinari, nearly blotted out by the clouds. "What a pretty teardrop! May I have it?" he asked Tawny.
"Sure!" Tawny smiled as Tas tucked her tear away into his pouch.
"He looks OK." Caramon remarked, leaning over Dalamar.
"Traumatized, but OK." Raistlin nodded, cutting Dalamar's bonds. "He'll sleep for a while."
"Yeah, he probably will - hey!" Caramon cried out, clapping a hand to his forehead.
"What?" Tas, Tawny, and Merribell asked, turning.
"A drop of water fell on me!" Caramon scowled at the dark night sky. "Now that wasn't very nice, was it?"
"Wait . . . " Raistlin stared at the sky. "Rain . . . ?"
"Looks like it." Tas nodded, reaching out a hand. Another drop fell in it.
"But," Raistlin's eyes gleamed with excitement as the sun disappeared from the view of mortals, "Rain is cold water!"
"So?"
"Cool or cold water counteracts the affects of the kender's powder!" Raistlin laughed with happiness. "I was right!"
"It does?" Tas looked around at Tawny, who shrugged.
"Guess it does." she agreed.
And then the rain came down, drenching the earth.
Its drops fell on Sturm and Flint, sleeping in the clearing, washing away the makeup.
Its drops fell on Kitiara, glittering on her sword.
Its drops found Palmer and her Chicky Minions as they lay down to sleep, washing away the powder and cooling the blood.
Its drops fell on Tanis, lying unconcious in another clearing.
Its drops fell on Caramon, Raistlin, Dalamar, Tas, Tawny, and Merribell. Its drops shimmered as they fell on Dalamar, who faded from sight, magically transported, clean and dry, back to his bed in Tarsis. Its drops drenched Caramon, who was shielding Raistlin, who was coughing.
Its drops fell on the kindegarteners, sleeping in their camp, washing away the twisted desires for candy and the paint that streaked their faces.
Its drops glittered on the faces of the gremlins, shrinking a taking refuge beneath the leaves.
And its drops fell on Tas, and Tawny, and Merribell, as they whooped and sang and danced beneath the dark sky, reveling in the rain.
Tawny stopped her dancing in time to look up, blinking away the raindrops that fell on her eyes, and sang beneath her breath;
"The clouds pour forth silver rain
Falling through the darkness of night
To this world of joy and pain
To this world of dark and light.
Clouds part to see lightning
Flash from the heavens down to earth
Cower the flowers, plants, and creatures
Behind the curtain of rain that gave them birth.
The wind cries through the rain
About the torn and grieving sky
Screaming out to know the answers
Screaming out to know why.
And the trees answer the wind
Swaying their boughs against the rain
Groaning with the weight of the clinging drops
Of heaven's tears, anger's bane.
Fire bursts from the lightning's strike
Flaming up, burning the world to ash
In one moment death has stirred
In the bright lightning's flash.
Seeing this plight, the gentle rain
Falls onto the hot and scarred ground
The flames quell and disappear
The water now to earth is bound.
Then the skies cease crying
And the lighting calms, a sign
To allow the clouds to part and let the moon
Make the fallen silver rain shine."
And the rain ceased falling, and the clouds did part, and the light of the moons did shine upon the fallen raindrops.
Tas turned to Tawny. "So, it's over, then?"
She shrugged. "I guess so. Maybe she'll write a sequel."
"Maybe." Merribell agreed, putting her arms around Tas and Tawny as they left the clearing and walked into Solace. "Maybe not."
They paused, looking at the sleeping Solace, glittering with silver and ruby raindrops.
"Tag!" Merribell cried suddenly, giving Tas a shove. "You're it!"
"No fair!" Tas laughed, but chased after Merribell, who shrieked. Tawny watched them play and laughed.
The world was perfect.
The poem is called Silver Rain and I wrote it, it's mine.
So I'm done. Whoa. this chapter is 11 pages long on my desktop.
I want to thank Kyra Skye for the use of the zombie bunny. I want to thank Delger Erdenesanaa for being a great influence on this story. And I want to thank my computer, which is my sword and shield against the horros of boredom on a rainy day.
Or a sunny one, for that matter.
Lastly, I want to thank all the wonderful people who reviewed and will review this story. You guys mean a lot to me. Thanks for taking the time to review, and thanks for making me laugh.
So, that's it, then.
Should I do a sequel? A Crazy Kender, maybe? Or The Adventures of Tas, Tawny, and Merribell? Or The Adventures of Palmer? What do you think?
Thank you thank you thank you all.
Peace out. - Raab.