Fighting the Good Fight
Vyctori
A/N: Even though I haven't previously posted a fic for Fruits Basket, I've been an observer of the fandom for quite some time. After noticing certain trends, I decided to write a story about said trends. I'm quite sure my observations aren't going to make some readers very happy, but I'm perfectly fine with that. I wrote the fic for my own amusement, and I decided to share it for the heck of it.
In writing this, however, I drew material from the stories of others. Please don't be offended if you find certain correlations between your writing and my story—I am in no way being negative towards you personally, although I may be poking fun at your ideas.
Disclaimer: Clearly, I do not own the rights to Fruits Basket.
Warnings: Parody, and lots of it. Also, once again, if you see something that echoes an idea of yours, it was likely because I used your fic for inspiration. Be offended if you like, but be responsible about it.
With that being said, enjoy the fic!
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Tohru hummed to herself as she pinned up the laundry on the clothesline. It was a lovely, fresh fall weekend. The morning seemed to be like all others at Shigure's house—peaceful until the other three members of the household awoke. Then things got . . . chaotic.
Smiling, Tohru reached down into the laundry basket to pick up another piece of clothing. However, she froze, hand in the basket, when she heard a soft groan.
"What?" Tohru looked around for its source.
She started to walk about the property, listening for the moans emitted from . . . somewhere. Soon she discovered a girl lying on the path leading to the house, covered in blood.
Tohru let out an involuntary cry, turned, and ran back into the house. "Yuki, Kyo, help! There's a girl outside, and she's bleeding a lot!"
Yuki raced down the stairs to meet her. "Miss Honda, is that true?"
"I-it is! Come quick! She might be dying!" Tohru turned and sprinted back outside, Yuki and Kyo—who had just finished breakfast—following on her heels.
"See, look!" Tohru pointed when they reached the appropriate spot.
Strangely enough, the golden-haired girl—not blond, Tohru thought for some reason—seemed to have less blood around her than she remembered. However, perhaps it had just been her imagination playing tricks on her. . . .
Carefully, Kyo and Yuki lifted the girl, with one at the head and the other at the feet. Then, Tohru fretting at their side every step of the way, the two boys carried the girl into the house.
"What's this?" Shigure poked his head out of his study, hearing them enter. "Kyo, you didn't try to beat someone up again, did you?"
"Shut up. We just found her, okay?"
Carefully, Kyo and Yuki lowered the girl to the floor, taking care not to make any sudden movements in case they might aggravate her wounds.
Tohru turned to go upstairs. "I'll go get some bandages! And hot water! And cloths! And—" She stopped when Yuki caught her arm. "Yuki?"
"Wait, Miss Honda." Yuki released Tohru and instead stared at the girl. "For some reason . . . it looks like her wounds are almost completely healed."
"What the—" Kyo cursed. "What's going on?"
Without warning, the blond-haired—no, golden, Tohru thought again though she still wasn't sure why—girl jumped to her feet. "Kyo-kun!"
"What the—" Kyo repeated. "Hey you, what are you doing?"
The girl clasped her hands together and took three large steps towards Kyo. Kyo took three large steps backwards.
"I'm Siteku. Thank you so much for saving my life! My heart is yours, brave Kyo-kun!"
"Um, but. . . ." Tohru looked at Siteku. "Your wounds . . . healed themselves."
"No, it was the power of Kyo-kun's love that healed them! But—" The girl's face fell. "—I'm too injured to go anywhere. You're going to have to take me in."
"Now wait just a minute!" Kyo was getting angry. "First you say you're healed by my so-called love and now you're too injured to go anywhere? I say you're well enough to go somewhere, and that's out the door!"
"But—" Tohru and Siteku said simultaneously.
"No buts! I want her out!" Kyo fumed. "She's obviously not hurt and all she's doing is wasting our time! And what kind of a stupid name is Siteku, anyway?"
Siteku looked indignant. "It's Japanese!"
"No, it's not! Now get out! Now!" Kyo pointed at the door.
Sulkily, Siteku walked out. "You haven't seen the last of me!"
In response, Kyo slammed the door in her face and then leaned against the wall. "What a nutcase."
"In any case, if she returns, all we need to do is call in Kagura." Yuki smirked. "She ought to sort things out nicely."
Kyo swore again. "Yeah, by killing her first and then coming after me!"
"Um," Tohru interrupted. "I'm going out to finish hanging out the laundry, okay?" On one hand, she felt rather badly for Siteku and wondered if they should have let her stay. On the other hand, she did seem to be perfectly fine. . . .
"All right, Miss Honda." Yuki smiled at her. "And then afterwards, why don't we go work on the secret base?"
"Sure!" Tohru beamed and then walked outside to finish her work.
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Kyo was in the upstairs bathroom brushing his teeth when he heard Tohru scream once more. Cursing around a mouthful of suds, Kyo ran out of the bathroom and down the stairs. Bursting out of the house, he found Tohru pointing at some bushes, eyes wide.
"Wsrh goen—" Kyo removed his toothbrush and spat into another bush. "What's going on?"
"L-look!" she stammered.
Kyo looked closer . . . and then inwardly groaned. A pair of legs was sticking out of the bushes, one twisted at an odd angle.
"Here." He handed his toothbrush to Tohru and pushed the branches aside.
There lay a lovely silver-haired girl, unconscious. Kyo clapped his hand to his forehead in disgust. "Not another one."
Tohru peered over his shoulder. "At least she doesn't seem to be bleeding. . . ."
"Yet," Kyo muttered.
Grabbing the girl by both ankles, he hauled her backwards out of the bushes. Being so manhandled managed to awaken her from her swoon, and soon angry violet eyes fixed themselves on Kyo's face. However, the girl quickly composed her face into a calm expression.
"Where is . . . the Prince?" she asked in a soft voice.
"What, you mean that rat?" Kyo frowned. "He's in the house. Why do you wanna see him?"
"It was . . . foretold," the girl said in the same breathy voice. "I am Destyni. And it is my fate that Yuki and I would be lovers."
"What?" Tohru stared. "L-lovers?"
"Yes, that's right." In one fluid movement, Destyni rose, despite the fact that her ankle had been twisted at the very least—or even broken. "I must see him. The fate of the world depends on it."
"Really?" Tohru's eyes grew larger, if such a thing were possible.
"I don't think so." Kyo snorted. "You don't happen to be related to some girl, Siteku, do you?"
"No . . . not . . . really." Her violet eyes were distant.
"Geez." Kyo ran a hand through his hair. "Tohru, go find him, okay? Tell him that this thing wants to see him. I'm going inside."
"Right!" Tohru nodded and then ran off.
Kyo turned to walk into the house, but Destyni caught his arm. "Wait. Aren't you going to tend to my injuries?"
"No, I am not! You're not even injured, you idiot!" Breaking free, Kyo ran into the house and slammed the door again. He leaned against the wall for the second time that morning, trying to recover.
"Kyo? Is that you?" Shigure called out from his study. "Could you come help me remove something?"
Grumbling under his breath, Kyo stomped into the room. "What do you . . . want. . . ."
Another girl was latched onto Shigure, only for some reason Shigure was still in his human form. This one had long, straight black hair that fell to her ankles and a death grip on Shigure's neck. She also had backed him into a corner of the room, a fact that would have made Kyo laugh, had it not been such an aggravating morning.
"Kyo . . . ?" Shigure asked in his most winning voice. "Be a good boy and help me get rid of it?"
Kyo sighed. "Fine. Whatever."
He walked over and circled his arms around the girl's waist and started tugging hard. Shigure leaned backwards into the corner once again.
"Shigure, how could you be so cruel?" she wailed. "You said you'd love me forever! Remember all that we shared? Those cold nights made warm by your presence?"
Kyo stopped pulling for a second. "You sick—"
Shigure held up his hands . . . or rather, tried to. The girl's face was in the way and all he accomplished was hitting her on the chin. "It's not like that at all, Kyo! She just, well, turned up. Then she tried to hug me, but for some reason nothing happened."
Kyo wasn't sure whether to believe the writer or not. Deciding to ask him about it after he had finished the job at hand, he settled on trying to dislodge the girl. Eventually, between the two of them, they did, and soon the girl was sent flying out the door.
"I'll never forget youuuu . . . !" was the last they heard her cry.
Kyo folded his arms. "So, what was she doing here? And what's her name, anyway?"
"The answer is 'I have no idea' to both your questions." Shigure flipped an ink brush in his hand. "I already told you what happened. I could say the same to you, Kyo, about that girl from earlier." He smiled slyly and fingered his chin. "So, Kyo . . . becoming a real ladies' man, are we? First Kagura and now—"
"Shut up!" Kyo jammed his hands into his pockets and stomped off to the rooftop, disgusted.
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Later that day, while Yuki and Tohru were out shopping and Kyo was brooding on the roof, Shigure was hard at work in his study . . . hard at work reading the newspaper, that is. From time to time, he would wonder about the three girls from earlier that morning, but being the laid-back person he was, decided not to worry about what was over and done with.
Over the rustle of the newspaper as he turned the page, Shigure heard a knock on the door. Instinctively rising to answer it, he checked in mid-step and decided against admitting any more visitors that day.
However, the person at the door obviously was impatient and soon he heard the door slide open. Luckily for him, it wasn't another one of the girls, but. . . .
"Shigure!" Momiji practically leapt into the room. "Hi! Where are Tohru and the others?"
"Oh, Momiji," Shigure said in faint relief. "Yuki and Tohru are out shopping. Kyo's on the roof. Any particular reason for visiting?"
"No reason—but you'll never guess what happened along the way!" Momiji danced on the spot. "Guess, guess!"
Shigure fingered his chin again. "Call it a wild hunch but . . . on your way here, you found a girl who appeared to be injured, but when you tried to help her, she turned out to be completely fine, and she declared her love for you?"
Momiji grinned. "Nope!"
"Oh." Shigure looked surprised. "So . . . what did happen, then?"
"On my way here, I found a girl who appeared to be injured, but when I tried to help her, she turned out to be completely fine, and she declared her love for Ha'ri!"
Shigure's hand transferred itself from his chin to his face. "Momiji . . . !"
Hatori walked into the room. "It sounds like you've been having similar problems, Shigure."
"You might say that. Hello, Ha'ri." Shigure smiled at his friend.
Another knock at the door interrupted before anyone else could speak. The three froze, but relaxed when a familiar wail rent the air: "Shi-gu-re!"
"Oh, there's Mii." Shigure grinned.
"You are going to let her in." The way Hatori said it, it wasn't a question.
"Why, certainly! What kind of a person do you think I am?" Shigure pretended to be wounded.
Hatori was unimpressed. "I already know what kind of person you are."
But once again, Shigure didn't even make it to the door before yet another guest walked into the room. He could almost see Mii's stress level spike upon seeing him.
Obviously panicking, Mii took hold of his shoulders. "Shigure! Why are you not writing? Answer me!" She shook him once for punctuation.
Shigure gently detached her hands and instead lifted his eyes to the ceiling. "It seems today is the day destined for guests who knock but don't wait for their host to answer the door." He sighed. "Woe."
Distracted from her desperation, Mii looked at Shigure strangely. "But I was let in. Your new maid answered the door."
This caught Shigure off guard and earned him a frown from Hatori.
"Maid? Tohru's not really a maid, and anyway, she's out shopping with Yuki," Shigure said.
"No, I'm talking about the high school girl in the French maid's uniform, not the other one." Mii pointed towards the living room. "She's dusting in there, I believe."
Shigure's eyes gleamed, but before he could take more than a step, Hatori's firm hand clamped onto his shoulder.
"I'll come with you, Shigure," was all the doctor said.
"Oh, Ha'ri! You don't trust me at all, do you?" Shigure came dangerously close to whining.
"In most things, yes, I do trust you. Just not this."
The two walked into the living room, trailed by a curious Momiji and a frazzled Mii. There they saw another blond-haired girl dusting the room in quite likely the most inefficient manner possible.
Upon hearing them enter, she spun on her heel and dropped the feather duster to the ground. "Shigure-san! Daijoubu ka?"
Shigure blinked. "What did she say?" he asked Hatori. "Some foreign language, like English?"
"I'm . . . not sure." Hatori sounded surprisingly uncertain. "It sounded like it might be Japanese, but badly mangled."
"Wai, Shigure-san! You're teasing me, aren't you? So kawaii, hai hai!" The girl's green eyes sparkled.
Momiji walked up to her. "Hi there! I'm Momiji Sohma! What's your name?"
The girl ignored him completely. "Shigure-san! I hope I'm doing a kawaii job! I'm so glad Tohru told you about me needing money since okaasan and otousan were korosued and that you decided to hire me and I'm gonna do my best and make you all so proud, sou da!"
Mii just looked at her. "If she put something like that in a manuscript, I'd definitely add a few commas and a full stop somewhere in that mess."
"Anyway, when are you gonna kiss me, huh? Huh, Shigure-koi? I'm waiting, da yo!" She turned her face up to his.
Shigure sighed. As tempting as it was to be offered a kiss by a young, nubile high school girl in a French maid's outfit, she had been rude to Momiji and had entered his home under false pretences. And it was looking like she was one of those girls. Besides, what would he do with a maid if he only understood half of what came out of her mouth?
"Look, I'm sorry, but I think you had better leave." Gripping her gently but firmly by the shoulders, Shigure began to steer her towards the door. "I already have someone to clean my house, and that's Tohru. And although that outfit really is delightful" —this comment earned him a disapproving glare from Hatori— "I'm afraid your services really aren't needed. Sorry."
Carefully pushing the girl outside, Shigure met up with Yuki and Tohru, who were just returning from their shopping.
"Another one?" Yuki asked in disbelief.
"I'm afraid so." Shigure sighed sadly and shut the door in the girl's pout-filled face.
"Why was she wearing that outfit?" Yuki was suspicious.
Half-listening to Momiji as the boy related the news of his discovery to Tohru, Shigure responded, "Really, Yuki, you're so untrusting. I had nothing to do with the girl's admittedly charming choice of attire—nothing at all!"
Yuki gave him a look. " . . . You're disgusting."
Hatori said nothing, but looked as if he agreed with the younger Sohma. Instead, he simply sighed and lit a cigarette.
"I'm going to go put away the groceries, all right?" Yuki walked towards the kitchen.
"Oh, let me help!" Tohru ran to catch up, breaking off her conversation with Momiji.
Yuki smiled at her. "That's all right, Miss Honda. Really. You talk to Momiji; I'll join in a few moments."
"Well . . . okay. If you're sure." Even the way she stood gave off uncertainty.
"Perfectly." Yuki went into the kitchen and set the bags down on the floor.
As he put away the groceries, he thought about the day's events. Who were those strange girls that kept showing up? And more importantly, what did they want, and where did they come from?
He grimaced. Actually, it was pretty obvious what they wanted. But why did they keep gravitating towards Shigure's house? It wasn't anything special. It was a fairly out-of-the-way place. Yet the girls seemed able to home into it with an uncanny precision.
And they all had such strange stories! Yuki set a carton of milk on the top rack of the fridge. The one that had accosted him at the secret base was full of some nonsense about being his destined love.
Shaking his head, Yuki stored the plastic bags under the sink for them to be reused. If they were fortunate, this would be a one-day only event, and perhaps tomorrow he, Tohru, Shigure, and Kyo could get back to their somewhat ordinary lives.