Disclaimer: Not mine. Everything belongs to Arakawa.

I wrote this fic when I was on drugs. Yeah. Not really.

I was trying to write another fic, but my brain collapsed and the fanfiction ran away. So this is what I created in disappointment. Enjoy.

Kimbley's Plan

One day, Kimbley turned the world into a bomb. It was his finest work ever, even better than Scar's scar. He was so proud.

He decided to tell the entire world about his greatness, but unfortunately for Kimbley, no one believed him. That made him angry.

Kimbley was thinking about punish them and blow some of them up. Then he remembered, he already had turned the world into a bomb and it was nothing more evil he could do.

Kimbley realised, he was the most evil guy in the world. Ah, he was so happy!

Greed told him he was totally mad, but Kimbley didn't care. He was evil, after all.

Greed hit him hard in the head, and Kimbley blew up Greed. Of course, Greed couldn't care less. He just regenerated.

That made Kimbley really mad. No one was allowed to survive after he killed them!

Greed rolled his eyes and walked away, with Martel, Roa and Dorchet in his heels.

Kimbley just laughed. They weren't important to him at all! And besides, they would die too when the world exploded.

Roy Mustang, one of the most annoying people in the entire universe, told Kimbley he needed some help with his issues, and offered him to call the men in the white coats.

When Kimbley tried to kill him, he was attacked by Mustang's rabid fan-club.

Archer, who Kimbley actually thought would support him, just gave him an Odd Look. Kimbley turned Archer's desk into a bomb and ran giggling away. A distant 'boom' was heard, accompanied by Archer's furious screams.

Kimbley tried to tell Mustang's boring female subordinate, but she stared at him in a way that made him regret he hadn't buttoned his uniform and brushed his hair. She looked just like Kimbley's old principal just before she was going to tell him off.

When the subordinate took her gun, Kimbley ran again, feeling his pride was slightly damaged.

Next, he tried to scare the Fullmetal- kid. He was just sixteen! He should be scared!

Fullmetal's brother actually seemed a bit nervous, but Fullmetal tilted his head and asked curiously:

"And how did you do that?"

Kimbley kind of dropped his jaw. And how did you do that? Was that the only reaction he got? That made him mad, so he tried to blow up Fullmetal, who placed an auto- mail fist in Kimbley's face.

Three hours later, Kimbley had sulked enough and was ready to continue with his evil plan.

After a while, he noted something was seriously wrong. The world did not explode.

"Ha! Loser!" someone said from behind.

Kimbley turned around and saw a grinning Fullmetal with a smirking Mustang.

"We figured out how to stop your transmution! You suck!" Fullmetal said happily.

Kimbley was just about to kill them both when a lost train hit him in his back and killed him.

End