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Kirsten stared at the envelope. Sandy had sealed it up again as if to convince himself he'd never read it. She felt her cold mug in her hands. It was still full of thick coffee that Sandy had continued to make her. He came in every now and then and replaced the cold coffee with a fresh cup. She sat on the same stool at the same spot on the breakfast bar.

Three days.

He'd be home soon.

The phone never rang. He hadn't called. Neither of them had. Ryan had no idea.

Three days.

The first day was hard enough what with Ryan's departure but when Sandy emerged from Seth's empty room with two white envelopes in his hand a part of her had died. She didn't have to read it to know what it was. Her mind spun when Sandy read it aloud. She sat down at the kitchen island and reached for her mug. She heard her husband's voice quiver.

"There's nothing here for me anymore. I'll miss you, Seth."

Sandy placed the letter on the counter and smoothed it out. "There's one for Summer too." He stated. Kirsten didn't answer him. She just stared.

She watched Summer break down on the kitchen floor when Sandy handed her the letter. "He's not coming back?" she asked incredulously. Sandy shook his head, "That's what he said." Sandy wrapped his arms around her when she tried to hide her tears. Kirsten didn't react. She didn't acknowledge Summer's presence at all. She just sat at the kitchen island and watched.

Why did he leave? He had everything he'd always wanted. Friends, Summer, a life... But he didn't have Ryan anymore. He was gone and she knew Seth thought he'd abandoned him. She tried hard not to blame him but she couldn't help it. If he had never left then Seth wouldn't have had a reason.

"There's nothing here for me anymore."

Nothing here? Was she not good enough to stick around for? What about his father? Didn't he love them both enough to put his petty feelings aside and get on with it? And Summer. She meant everything to him and she was still here. Stuck in Newport pining after him while he was sailing the ocean.

Day two went by in a blur. She spoke and moved only to answer the phone. When it wasn't one of her boys she would hang up and go back to her silent state. Sandy had tried to get her to go to bed but she wouldn't move form the stool. When he set his hand on top of hers she was ice cold. She couldn't go. Not until she knew. Not until he was safe... or not. She had to know.

On the third day she nursed her cold cup of coffee and waited. She looked out into the hall and saw a photo of her son. The top half was covered but she could still see his smile. She remembered when it was taken last Chrismukkah. It was after the holiday card photo had been taken and he insisted that he have his own. She had always loved his smile. It was so real, so genuine. You had to work to get a smile like that. You had to earn it. The ringing of the phone interrupted her thoughts.

Now as she looked down on her son she could finally see his pain. His face was expressionless but she could still see it. The scars were etched onto his face forever. Before she was too blind too see them but now they screamed at her. His pain. His depression. His torment. His life. How could she not have seen it? She took his hand in hers as her husband sobbed into his hands as though to hide the tears. But she let hers flow freely. Letting them fall onto her son's lifeless body. Maybe if she had opened her eyes and took notice of him she wouldn't be standing there. Maybe if all the times he told her he was unhappy she had paid attention he would be at home lying in his bed instead of a cold hard table draped in a sheet. She knew he was hurting about Ryan and she had her chance to ask him about it. Maybe if she listened to him she could have saved him. But now it was too late. Seventeen years and three days too late.

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