Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not Newsies, not LOVE. NOTHING!

Title: Violence Recovery

Author: Buttons14

Genre: Drama

Rating: M (subject to change)

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. - Anatole France

Chapter 21—Jules

Morning comes late on Christmas Eve. As it rolls in, I find myself relishing that period of momentary amnesia, and I find myself thinking about how soft the bed is and wondering why my head is spinning.

"Hey," whispers Blink. Not really words so much as breaths, "are you awake?"

"Uh huh."

"What are you thinking about?"

I think, my eyes still shut. "How warm the bed is...what about you?"

"Thinking about morning," he pauses and I can hear him shift in bed, his sheets rustling and twirling around him. "Ever notice that morning and mourning sound the same?"

I hadn't… "No."

"Funny though, isn't it? You think that morning is the time when everything is new and alive, but then why does it sound like mourning? Maybe because you are mourning a day past. A day gone that you will never see again…" he trails off, silently, thoughtfully. The night before comes flooding back to me in a wave of anguish and disbelief.

"What about the days that should be celebrated?" I ask after a few minutes.

"I don't know." Then we roll out of bed and go for breakfast.

0o0o0o0

Shortly after lunch Skittery and David stumble though the front door with a fresh green pine tree. Coin, who is holding the door open for them, runs her fingers along the needles, dusting fresh snow onto the floor. David and Skittery set the tree up in the rec room, right beside the TV, so that if you're sitting to the left of it you can't see any of the screen. Boxes of ornaments surface and Medda gathers us around with hot chocolate and Aaron Neville Christmas carols on the stereo. Jack is sitting in an armchair next to the fireplace, nursing his hot chocolate and watching us balance baubles and trinkets on the flimsy green branches. But Autumn's not here.

"She went right to sleep in one of the Blank Rooms after everyone left," Aurora stage whispers. "I peeked before lunch and she was still sleeping. Jules and me, we think…we think she's very sad."

"What's a Blank Room?"

Aurora disappears behind the tree and I lose her for a while, though the question still plays in my mind. Suddenly, as I'm reaching into the ornament box for a teddy bear in a poinsettia-print dress, she pokes her head out and says, "It's a room without any walls!"

"Huh?"

"Walls!" she exclaims, lovingly picking her way though the box for a certain ornament. "Blank! They're white and bor-ing! It's like they're not there. Jules and I, we feel sorry for them."

I remember the room with the water and fire, with the flower and smoke. The images on the wall in thick, vibrant, alive paint. I think of my room next, whitewashed walls, a little scuffed around the doorway, but dull nonetheless. "Why do you feel sorry for them?"

She twirls a candy cane around her finger. "Aren't you listening Spotty? Because it's like they're not there! It's like no one sees them. I used to feel like that sometimes." And then she turns and waltzes towards the coffee table for some hot chocolate. I follow her.

"You used to feel like that?"

"Uh huh." Aurora dropped three marshmallows into her hot chocolate. "When I was at The House. It was very big and my dad, his name was Frank, he gave me a big room. I loved that room! All of my friends lived there. There was Danny and Emma and Jules!"

I hang a silver icicle on the tree. "Who's Jules exactly Aurora?"

She laughs and twirls in a circle before balancing a papier maché wreath on a protruding bough. "Can't you see her Spot? She's right here!" she gestures to the empty space beside her. I don't answer, but she continues. "It's OK if you don't see her. She's like those walls sometimes. People see right through them. People don't see though me though, not since I met Jules and Danny and Emma. Emma used to love Christmas time."

"And what happened to her?"

Aurora prods one of the marshmallows so that it turns brown with chocolate. "Frank told me that I was crazy, that they weren't real. So I went to a doctor who hooked me up to a machine. Emma didn't like it and one day she was gone. So was Danny, but Jules stayed with me. That's how I know she's my best friend. She'll never leave me. I thought Danny came back a while ago, but it wasn't him. All that Danny wanted was to be inside of me. I told him I didn't like it, but he did it anyways, and my Danny would never do something like that. Then those men with the glasses found me and they brought me here." Noisily, Aurora slurps her hot chocolate. "I liked them. They were nice."

"They were, weren't they?" I ponder aloud. Aurora nods happily and dips a shortbread cookie into her drink, and it brings up mushy bits of marshmallow with it. "Aurora, what does Jules look like?"

Aurora smiles. "Oh, she's really pretty. She's got straight brown hair and a green eye and a purple eye and she's athletic and she's got a birthmark, right here," she points to her lower arm. "It looks just like the little dipper." The loose sleeve of her black shirt slips up and I can see a birthmark, just like the one on Jules. "I can set you guys up, if you want. She'd like that. Jules is tired of being invisible."

0o0o0o0

For Christmas Eve dinner we all sit around the dining room table and dig into our favourite foods. Tacos for Jack, meatloaf and roast potatoes for Andra and David, pizza for Ele, Crutchy and Charley, cabbage rolls for Coin, pork chops for Aurora, chicken chow mein for Racetrack and Boots, spaghetti for Autumn and Skittery and a Burger King hamburger for me. We all had to take care of our own food. I picked up extra fries and they're spread around the table, everyone is digging in and chatting. I'm sitting right next to Aurora who is eating pork chops and pepperonis from Coin's pizza with her fingers.

"Psst, Spotty," Aurora real-whispers this time, "want to hear what my Christmas present is for everyone?"

I swallow a bite of my Whopper and tilt my head towards her curiously. "Sure."

"I'm painting a Blank Room." She holds a finger to her lips. "Want to see it?"

I smile and dip a fry into ketchup. "Yeah."

As dinner winds down Aurora takes me, by the hand, and leads me upstairs. The whole while she is holding her finger over her lips and moving stealthily. The steps don't even creak as we walk on them. She takes me down the girls' hall and into the very last room. All of the furniture is covered with plastic sheets and one wall has been painted fresh black. It still looks sticky. "What do you think?" she asks happily, turning towards me and clapping her hands together.

"Need some help?"

0o0o0o0

I fall asleep on the floor of the ex-Blank Room. Aurora is lying next to me, her hands resting beneath her chin. In the morning she is in the same position. I stand up and the plastic covering crackles every time I move. The room is one-half black walls, covered with 80's-style bright pink, blue and yellow design. The other half is earthy browns, greens and reds in neat stripes of different thickness.

"It looks nice, doesn't it?"

Aurora is sitting up and looking around.

"It looks very nice," I agree.

We go downstairs and help set the table for breakfast. Sixteen spaces, I count. I count again. One for each of us, plus one for Jules, it should be. "Aurora…where's Jules going to sit?"

Aurora looks up at me a blinks. "Jules who?"

0o0o0o0

By dinner time we are all feeling the Christmas cheer. Specs, Dutchy and Sapphy surprised us, showing up with boxes of candy canes and Christmas crackers. Aurora's room was well-received, as were the mixed tapes I made for everyone. Everything from ACDC to the Smiths to Destiny's Child. David bought us all second-hand books, Racetrack bought season one of Friends on DVD for the rec room, Jack got us each personalized playing cards with our pictures on them, Blink gave us cards saying that he'd donated money in each of our names to a charity, Ele made us each of sketch of ourselves when we weren't paying attention, Charley gave us each coffee blends that she though 'seemed like us', Boots gave us each different-coloured shoelaces, Crutchy found old Chinese lanterns in every colour from red to black, Coin knitted us each scarves with stripes and polka dots, and Skittery wrote poems about us, three each on fancy pressed paper, haiku, free verse and rhyming.

Every inch of the table was covered in food. Turkey, potatoes, sweet potatoes, ham, salad, carrots, and even lasagna.

"Toast, toast!" cried Skittery, raising his glass to Denton. Crutchy seconded it and soon we were all calling for a toast.

Denton stood up, smiling, and silenced us with a wave of his hand. He closed his eyes and thought, the smile slowly falling off his face.

"New York," says Denton clearly, raising his glass steadily, "is a large place. We see people every day, we sometimes know them or will know them soon. Others we will never meet again as long as we live. We may sit next to an ex-con on the subway, or pass a rapist on the streets. We can not escape reality, but just because we see these people, does not mean we are victims to them. You can not be afraid of the world, you must embrace it. Give thanks every day that you are not dead. Some days you may wish you were, but death is far worse than a life never lived at all."

For a minute only silence fills the room. Denton takes a long swig from his glass and places the cup down.

Autumn begins to applaud.

Yes, that Autumn. She doesn't appear at all self-conscious, she just brings her hands together again and again. Quickly Jack and Skittery join in and soon we are all clapping. It is a strange, booming clap. There is no cheering or whistling, just the thunderous roar of our hands.

Denton sinks to his chair and shuts his eyes. Autumn is smiling slightly, the corners of her peach lips tilting towards her eyes. Her eyes. Everyone's.

I look around at a transformed group. There is a sparkle, a shine, a liveliness about us. Denton's words bounce from the walls, fresh in our minds.

Truth: the thing that saved my life.

The End

((And so it ends. Thanks for all your support everyone through this fic. Sorry for taking so long to complete it, but hopefully it was worth the wait. Keep the peace y'all! xoxButtonsxox))