Title: Soul by The Zazu
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon.
Author's Note: This revolves around Taichi. Hopefully the style I used in Soul has somewhat carried into this fic. Anyway, enjoy.
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Chapter Two: Soulless
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"I feel so guilty
My words are empty
No signs to give you
don't have the time for you
I put a shield upon you
I didn't mean to hurt you
would've only poisoned your mind
Never meant to make you cry
I never thought that the time and the distance
Between us made you so much colder
I'll carry the world on my shoulders..."
– 'Guilty' by The Rasmus
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Forte.
That's how the music started.
Eclectic mixes of screaming guitars, rumbling drums, and wailing lyrics... all meshed to formulate a broken melody. A broken melody that boldly preached the pain and suffering of the world to any faithful followers that would listen. Strained, beautifully harsh vocals chorused achingly in unison, rising and falling to new tempos.
A broken melody is still a melody however.
Fortissimo.
The volume of the rock music grew in power. A curled up figure continued to press headphones to ears already resounding with the loud melody. The cords of the headphones slowly grew into the battered shape of a CD player. It was a reliable CD player; always dishing out tunes that could satiate any thirst or drown any unwanted emotions. It always expressed what Yagami Taichi couldn't himself express in his own words.
"Guilty, woh oh oh oh, I feel so, empty... yeah, you know how to make me feel," the 29-year-old whispered gently, staring blankly at the wall before him. It was funny how old wounds could suddenly reopen, bringing back unwanted memories. Soft brown hair – only chin-length now – was spiked in all directions and somehow failed to shield a pair of painfully sorrowful chocolate eyes. Taichi was an ambassador now... far from his dream of being a soccer star. These days, everyone had given up their dreams.
Yes, it had been seven long years.
Taichi shut his eyes, curling up into an even tighter ball. He hated his resurfacing memories. And he hated resorting back to his childish ways of washing away sorrow when he was clearly an adult.
But some things are inevitable.
"I don't want to be a leader. I didn't want to be leader. Why was I the one who had to be courageous all the time? Oh yeah, I'm the Destined of Courage," Taichi muttered into the air, his words laced thickly with scorn and pain. "I don't see why I had to be such a good guy... I felt guilty at every death I witnessed of an innocent digimon. Hey, maybe they deserved it." Suddenly words that his friends never would have expected him to say left his mouth. "I witnessed too many things; all horrible. I saw someone get severely hurt... and I couldn't stop anything. I took the blame, of course. I guess Jyou didn't want that. He also didn't understand my guilt."
Then Yagami Taichi fell silent.
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'We're gonna lose, we're gonna lose, oh my dear god, why are we losing? We're not supposed to lose, we're not supposed to lose, please, please, Wargreymon, do something!' A continuous stream of thoughts rushed through the mind of 22-year-old Yagami Taichi as he attempted to keep his legs from giving away. Everything had been so abrupt. Out of nowhere, Daemon had once again materialized, providing a challenge for the now older DigiDestined. Perhaps there were other younger Destined children out there... but only this team understood the extent of this power. The younger group had gone off to the other side of town, controlling Daemon's more powerful minions. And how Taichi wished for their help right now. Maybe if they worked together, they could put this guy away.
At the moment, it was only Agumon fighting – in his mega form of course. MetalGarurumon had taken his turn the day before in the fighting and was completely weary, as were the rest of the digimon. "C'mon guys," he whispered achingly, watching Daemon deflect Wargreymon's Terra Force with ease. 'There's no hope. There's no hope.'
A shaky, yet kind voice intruded into the man's thoughts. "Uh, Taichi, don't give up?" The blue-haired figure of 'fraidy-cat' Kido Jyou peered cheerily at him. Taichi was surprised, seeing so Jyou so courageous. He really was reliable, and definitely a good guy. Taichi's abruptly widened as he spotted Daemon's fresh attack swerve in the direction of Jyou. 'God, no.'
"Jyou... watch... out!"
But Jyou was down.
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"God, no."
Taichi's rubbed his eyes, brushing away stray tears at the thought. He should have seen the attack sooner, right? 'Why are these memories resurfacing?' he thought angrily.
"No."
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He looked so fragile in that sterile room, on that plain, white bed. Taichi was alone in the room, fixated on the prone, lanky figure outstretched on the bed. The man averted his gaze for a moment, unable to look at his friend any longer. The doctors said Jyou was paralyzed waist down. Daemon's attack had come to quickly and sent Jyou hurdling through the air with an inhuman scream leaving his lips. And all Taichi could do is scream with his friend, praying for a miracle to pluck Jyou away from the doomed situation.
Nothing happened. Jyou crashed.
Taichi couldn't get rid of the image. He didn't know how Daemon was defeated, or if they even defeated the beast... He just knew that it was his fault.
All his fault.
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"I feel so guilty... oh so guilty..." the words were uttered into the air once more. Taichi opened his eyes to stare at the wall once more. Soon after he had left the hospital, Jyou awakened to the horrific results of the accident. Everyone showered their love on him and Taichi blamed himself for the incident. But then one day Kido Jyou was gone, and his parents would not tell the DigiDestined where he went. It was as if Jyou had disappeared off from Earth totally.
If only Taichi could do the same... Even after seven years, the man had continued to shoulder the blame. Taichi hit the 'stop' button and suddenly got up, leaving the CD player on the ground. Getting off the couch, he grabbed his jacket and slipped out through the door, grimly. He didn't want to care anymore, but he needed to find Jyou.
Jyou was looking for his soul. Taichi wanted someone to take his guilty soul away.
"Make me soulless."
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Author's Note: Abrupt ending, yeah, I'll admit that. Love? Hate? Reviews are always lovely. ;)