Here's the sequel. Finally. Thank you for the many suggestions I received - some were pretty good and came close to the actual result. I'm glad that you all agreed with me - bringing him back to life would just destroy the essence of the story.
I don't know if there'll be more parts of this. It depends on my mood and my time. Since I'm working all day in Australia, that's really difficult. I'll probably just leave it like that. What do you think?
Angel's Reply
by Kaeera
You made me cry.
I don't like it when I cry. Crying is for the weak and pathetic, and I always wanted to be strong. It was like the ultimate goal for me, be strong. Be so strong that nothing could hurt you. Well, I never reached that goal. But I never accomplished many things and I made so many mistakes along the way, so I guess it doesn't matter.
When you're able to look back on your life, you realize how often you took the wrong path, said and did things that you later regretted, and you wish you could change them. But it's not possible. No one can change the past, not even the dead.
The fact that I'm dead is something I still cannot believe. I mean, I was there, I rescued you without thinking and suddenly there was this incredible pain, searing through my veins. I heard screaming and it took me a while to realize that it had been me who'd screamed. Screaming in terror.
Then I heard Veemon's voice saying good-bye to me and I swear I cried, because I knew that I would never see him again and that hurt more than anything. After that everything became black for a while. Sounds pretty cliche, huh? But it really happened like that. Blackness engulfed me.
I don't know for how long, but when I finally saw something, I was in a different place. I was floating. Yep, Floating. If I wasn't sure I was dead before, this certainly convinced me. I was floating over Odaiba and I could see through my hands, how much more proof did I need? I was a fricking ghost, and it scared the hell out of me.
Then I wondered why I wasn't somewhere else, and all the things I'd ever read about death and afterlife came to my mind. When someone dies suddenly and things are left undone, that person sometimes gets a chance to complete those things before they go on to an after life . I guess that happened to me. Weird, huh?
After a while of thinking, I decided that my task was to say goodbye to all of you, so I went to make my rounds. Sounds like the mailman, doesn't it? I make my rounds , leave a scary note to everybody and well, that's it. Only my rounds are much, much sadder than any rounds the mailman ever makes.
I hate saying good-bye, I hate being emotional, and yet I snuck into your rooms and watched you grieving. If I had known how much pain my death would cause you, I might have reconsidered my decision. Really. I feel guilty, I don't want you to feel bad. But I can't change what's already happened.
I watched you crying, but there was no way I could comfort you. I saw Ken close himself off, refusing to talk with anyone. I watched Miyako scream in rage, I visited Cody who who stared only at the walls. I flinched when Takeru shouted at his brother. Then I visited you, Hikari, you who were writing a letter to me - and crying in the process. I was strangely touched when I looked over your shoulder and read what you wrote. It's strange to hear what another person thinks about you. Somehow, I felt bad - as if I had just entered your deepest thoughts. But then I reminded myself that the letter was meant for me only, so I continued reading.
And it made me cry. Hikari - gods, I'm not sure how to express my feelings, but I thank you. Thank you so very much, you don't know what this letter meant to me.
I was always unsure of myself, you were right about that.
When I bragged, when I showed off, it was always an act. Over the years, I became pretty good at it. But reading your words told me that you regarded me indeed, as a close friend. I feel more at peace now. The fact that I have to leave this world still depresses me, but at least I know that I had great friends, and that you supported me to the very end.
Just so you know, I don't regret it. Oh yes, there was a moment when I almost did regret it, but then I asked myself if I would have wanted you dead instead of me and I realized that I could never have lived with that guilt. So I'm glad I jumped in front of you. That way, only one of us had to die and I'd rather have it was me.
Don't put yourself down, Hikari. Don't tell me that your're not brave, that you're weak. That's simply not true. I know that you would have done the same. I just know. How?
Well, you see, when you are dead, you see things clearer than ever. And I know you. You are brave - maybe not as bold as me, nor do you have the infallible courage of Taichi, but when lives depend on it, you can be as brave as everyone else. It's just a matter of the heart. And believe me, every digidestined has that gift. Being strong in the direst situations. We would never have managed to come so far otherwise.
I really wonder what the afterlife will be like. Every day, I can feel myself fading a bit more, and I guess I only have a few weeks left until my spirit leaves this world completely. I have no idea what awaits me after that. Will I be reborn, like the digimon on the digital world? Will I go to another world? Or...will I simply vanish into nothing? I must admit, I'm a little scared. I can deal with monsters, but death is a totally unknown territory for me.
Will I see my grandparents again? Maybe I'll get to meet the spirit of Oikawa, that'd be great. Hey, maybe I can even have a talk with Iori's father, or with Osamu or with your old cat, what was her name...Duh, I can't remember.
What would it be like to talk with them? Maybe I can tell Iori's father that he can be proud of his son. That would be great. Well, I guess I find out soon enough, so no use worrying about it now.
So, I'm a hero, huh? Somehow, that thought doesn't make me as happy as I thought it would. You're right, being a hero is not fun when you're not there to enjoy it. It would be cool if the people recognized me on the streets, like the used to do with Ken. Heh, heh, it would make the problem of asking girls out a lot of easier. Girls swooning over me? I wouldn't mind that, not at all.
Actually, I don't care if there's a statue with my face on it. Really, I couldn't care less. What I really want is to be able to talk with you, to touch you, to just be alive. When I watch you, I feel so lonely that it hurts and I can't seem to stop crying. Even Veemon is gone, and suddenly I'm all alone in the darkness that surrounds me.
I can see you crying for me, and all I want is to be able to touch you, to tell you that everything will be okay, that you will find a new friend and that life goes on, but you can't hear my voice. When I try to touch you, my hand goes straight through your bodies and I feel nothing.
I want to be able to laugh with you, eat chips and drink a coke while laughing about a stupid old movie and... and... and...gosh, I'm crying again. What a pathetic ghost I must be...sitting in a park and crying while typing this message. For once I'm glad that nobody can see me.
I never used to cry so much. Maybe because I never had a reason to cry. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm a ghost that makes me so emotional, I've no idea. I just feel...so sad. I already miss you so much that I can't describe it in words.
It's nearly midnight and the park is empty. I'm sitting on the swing near the old maple tree, do you remember it? We used to meet there often in summer.
Now the place is deserted and it fits my current mood perfectly. The more I think about it, the more I realize I don't want to leave. I often imagined how the future would be...everyone going on their own path, but we'd still meet every so often and grow old together.
It was a lovely future - and now I will never be part of it. You'll grow older, but I won't be there to see you. I won't be there to play with your kids, I will never be able to attend any of our annual meetings with the international digidestined again...
Really,what am I writing? I didn't want to whine like this. Actually, I wanted to encourage you, I wanted to reply to your letter, but instead, I've only burdened you with my problems. I'm sorry.
I really, really want you to read this and I hope this works. Being a ghost has the unfortunate disadvantage that:
1. no one can see you
2. no one can hear you (ack! So lonely!)
3. you can't touch anything
But I realized that I have still my digivice and D-Terminal with me and I have to thank Iori for that, huh? Well, since it is a ghost digivice, I can touch it. So I'm writing this letter as an e-mail on my terminal, hoping that somehow, I will be able to send it to you.
I don't know if I have the strength or time to write one letter to each of my friends, so I'm simply including all the things I want to say in this letter. Hope you don't mind. Especially since I already know that I'm fading. I'm growing weaker with every passing second...
I guess typing this message is costing me more energy than I thought. I'd better hurry so I can be finished before I completely leave this world.
It's okay to cry, Hikari. When you need to cry, then cry. But please, don't forget to laugh sometimes too, okay? I want you to be happy. Even though my death might be hard on you, it's not as if the world has ended.
Takeru frightened me with his scowling face. I don't want him to be like that! Although we often fought, we were best buddies. I mean, the fighting was essential, otherwise wouldn't have been us! And I never felt insulted or, I don't know, hurt by it. So please, TK, keep smiling, don't lose your hope!
I feel the same about Miyako. True, she got on my nerves at times like no one else, and she sure knew how to rile my temper, but over all, we got along well. And I thank her for the sweets she gave me - like my ghost digivice, I held them in my hands when I was floating over the city. No idea how it happened, but they were there, as transparent as I was, and when I tried to eat one, I felt the sweet taste on my tongue. It could be that I only remembered the taste, but whatever it was, it made me feel better.
And thank you, Hikari-chan, for the whistle. I know how important it was to you, and I feel flattered that you gave it to me. After all, you couldn't know I would witness that noble gesture. I'm holding it in my hand right now, and it reminds me of all the times we fought and laughed together.
I feel guilty, however. The impact my death had on Ken was horrible. I visited him last, maybe because I was frightened, or maybe because I already suspected what I would see. I couldn't stand it! He's suffering so much because of me, and I cannot allow that to happen! I want to make him feel better, but there's no way that I can talk to him.
So please, Hikari, can you show him this e-mail? I'm glad you promised to take care of him. Ken was my best friend ever, and I can't bear to see him despair and wallow in darkness again.
So Ken, if you ever read this - and I hope you'll be able to - then please, don't give up. I won't tell you not to be sad, because I know that's almost impossible. You'll miss me, as much as I would miss you if our roles were reversed, but the pain will pass. You still have the other digidestined, and they are great friends. I want you to keep on living, I want you to be happy...
Maybe not right now, but later, when the pain of my death has lessened a bit. I don't regret my death, Ken, and I gave my life willingly. It was my choice and there was nothing you could have done, so don't blame yourself (I know that you have a habit of doing that!). It was my choice, understood?
I knew that I would die, and if I had the chance to do it over again, I'd do the same thing. Because it was right to do this. I rescued my precious friends, and my life is the price I had to pay for it. But I do not regret it.
I was happy to be your friend! It may be hard for you to understand this right now. I'm a selfish person, Ken. I'd rather die myself than see another person die. Because I couldn't bear the pain that would cause, I chose the easy way out (forgive my sarcasm).
And now I've left you in pain and alone and hurting, I never wanted that. So please, Ken, my friend - make an effort to continue living and to be happy. That's my last wish.
Misunderstandings? My life has been full of them, Hikari. True, there were times when you hurt me deeply, I won't deny that. There were times when I hated you all because you seemed to not care about me! And I wasn't an angel either. I'm hot-tempered, and I often say things without thinking, which hurts other people. I'm clumsy, and I am absolutely NOT sensitive. I can't recount the numerous times I hurt any of your feelings because I simply said the wrong thing.
Do you understand what I'm trying to say? We all had our faults. That makes us human. And despite those faults, we managed to stay friends. And I never thought of you all as anything other than my friends. My precious friends.
Sometimes I doubted you. That's why I was so glad when I read your letter. It proved to me that I never was wrong to believe in you. I'm sorry for ever doubting you. I'm incredibly sorry, but that was how I felt at that time.
Well, we're only human after all. We all have our faults and mistakes and selfish actions. Nobody is perfect, and nobody expects you to.
I'm sorry Hikari, but I'm getting weaker and weaker. It's getting harder to type, and I feel myself vanishing. What will happen to me? I don't know. But I'd better finish this letter and send it.
So, my final words to everyone, my goodbye.
Ken - I already told you before, don'tdespair. If I'm unable to continue living, then I want you to at least leading a happy life. Fulfill a dream for me. I've always wanted to go to Paris and visit the Eiffel tower. So if you ever go there, do it for me, okay? Climb it and think of me, your old buddy. Maybe you can shout out for me in the wind and who knows, I might even be able to hear you.
Other than that, be happy. I might be gone, but it's not the end of the world. You are not alone, Ken, you never were!
Iori - Honestly, it's hard for me to imagine what you're feeling right now. After all, mine is the second death you've witnessed.
We may be different, but I liked you nonetheless. Sometimes I envied you for your aloofness and calm demeanor in even the most dangerous situations, and for your cool temper. I always loved it when you were like that, someone with a sharp mind, always calculating, but with a kind heart. Stay like that, because it makes you a very special person and a valuable friend in even the direst situations.
Miyako - You old hag! Nonono, just kidding. Couldn't say goodbye without a little insult, could I? It wouldn't be me, after all. Don't feel bad because we fought so often. Believe me, it would have scared me if we hadn't fought every time we met. And I kind of enjoyed it. You're like me, hot-tempered and very prone to do something rash and stupid, and it was a relief to have a friend like that.
Takeru - I would feel much better if you'd start smiling again. You're such a nice guy, it doesn't seem right for you to scowl all the time. You'll lose all your fangirls if you continue like that! Only kidding! Just like Miyako, I had many fights with you, but you shouldn't feel bad about them. I felt as if they were an important part of our friendship, and most of the time I didn't take you seriously anyway. See, there's no need to scowl. Laugh again. Please? For me? Come on, it's not that hard! Just turn up the corners of your mouth! I know that you want to smile, do one...now, that's better, isn't it? Knew I would make you smile again. And if you didn't smile by now, you're hopeless.
Hikari - Finally. Since this whole letter is dedicated to you, I have no idea what to write in the end. Like I said before, it's okay to cry, just don't do it all the time - remember to go out and have fun. Do it for me, okay? I always loved to see you laughing. I always loved your smile. I would have liked to have seen you smile more often, but alas, fate decided otherwise.
I will miss you all. Hell, I'll miss you all so much it hurts! And my family. Despite what I always said, Jun was a great sister. My parents were a little bit odd, but I can't bring myself to think badly of them. I miss them all. I miss everything, soccer, the park, the digimon, hell, even school! Veemon...maybe he will be reborn. If that happens, then please take care of him. The little guy deserves a happy life, and a good digidestined. He's one of the best you can imagine. I miss him.
Gods, now I am crying. Is there a more pathetic sight than that? An invisible ghost who's crying invisible tears. I don't have much more time. I have to go. I have to leave you behind, but not before I send this letter. May it reach you. May it bring you my blessings, and my love. May it show you that I will never, ever forget the friendship we shared.
I miss you so much.
Daisuke
It was late at night when Hikari awoke from the sound of her beeping digivice. Tiredly, she rubbed her eyes, momentarily too confused to locate where the sound came from. Then she saw the blinking of her D-Terminal, which told her that she had a new message.
"What the hell..." she murmured and got up, softly walking towards the device. Who would send her a message at - she looked at the clock - two o'clock in the morning?
Carefully she took the D-Terminal and opened the mail screen. 'One new message' It said clearly. The brown haired girl rubbed her eyes, yawned and searched for the sender of the message. She read the name, shook her head, read it again...and stepped back with a sharp intake of breath.
Her eyes widened as she stared at the little screen as if it was cursed. It couldn't be. It wasn't possible. Was it? Maybe she was dreaming? Yes, she had to be dreaming. She'd wake up and it would all be a dream. Every moment now...Frantically, she looked around, but nothing changed. Taichi was still snoring peacefully at the other end of the room. He hadn't left his sister's side at all for the last few days, too afraid she might break down.
"This can't be...," Hikari whispered and stared at the blinking screen. "His D-Terminal is in his grave, no one could have written a message with it!"
With trembling fingers, she pushed the button to open the message.
'You made me cry...', she read and her eyes widened. Quickly, she scrolled down the message, until she could read the name of the person who wrote it - and then she screamed, letting the D-Terminal fall to the floor as if it had burned her.
"What?" Taichi's sleepy voice could be heard in the darkness. "Hikari?"
Confused, the older boy looked at his sister who was standing in the middle of the room as if she had seen a ghost.
"What's wrong?" When he didn't receive an answer, he quickly stood up, placing a comforting hand on the shoulder of his baby sister. "Hikari?" he questioned again softly when he saw that she was breathing heavily and tears were streaming from her eyes. She didn't reply, just pointed to the D-Terminal that was lying on the ground, illuminating the room with a soft blue light.
Taichi kneeled down and looked at the screen of the small machine. He immediately paled. "That's not possible!" He choked. "That's simply not possible. It's a joke, a sick and twisted joke...impossible, I can't believe...it's some sick joke, a sick and twisted joke!" His eyes blazed with fire. "If I ever get my hands on the person who wrote this, he'll wish he'd never been born!"
Hikari shook slowly her head. "It's not a joke."
"What?"
She looked at him, pale but determined. "It is not a joke."(
"But Hikari," Taichi protested. "You and I, we both know that Daisuke is dead, and that his D-Terminal and Digivice are buried with him. It is simply not possible, the dead don't write messages!"
But the girl just shook her head and took the D-Terminal back, reading the first few paragraphs. "He replied to my letter..." She whispered.
"Letter?" Taichi narrowed his eyes, not sure what to think of this.
Instead of answering, Hikari went to her desk and searched until she found a sheet of paper. With trembling hands, she showed it to her brother.
"I wrote this a few days ago. I felt so sad and alone and...and I wanted to let my feelings out somehow. So I wrote a letter to Davis and imagined that maybe he would be able to read it. I wrote everything that I felt, and in the end, I really felt better. I never thought that he would really read it..."
"So that means that this message is really from...", Taichi was unable to complete his sentence. The sheer magnitude of who wrote it left him speechless.
"From Daisuke? Yes, it's from him." Hikari wiped a few tears away. "He wrote back to us. Somehow, he found a way to reply my letter even though he's dead...he never ceases to amaze me."
They looked at each other, and then, without another word, they both sat down and started reading the letter. An Angel's Letter.
And in the distance
You can hear the smile of an angelLike a soft melody in your heart
Warming everybody