Golden Pair Forever. That's what it said. It wasn't exactly a plaque, but it was something that they had. Eiji put away the knife and stared at his work of art. He didn't know how long the carving would stay in the tree but, for the while it was theirs.
"Neâ Oishi? What do you think?" Eiji said turning around.
"It's nice." Oishi replied. He smiled a half smile and turned back to looking off into the distance. Eiji didn't mind this. This was how Oishi was lately. Eiji understood. His parents weren't too supportive of Eiji and him, but Oishi stuck by nevertheless.
Eiji plopped himself down next to Oishi and leaned on him. He loved cuddling with Oishi.
"What're you thinking about Oishi?" Eiji said.
"" Oishi looked down at Eiji and smiled "You."
Eiji felt a rush of happiness through his body. He knew he was on Oishi's mind a lot and it comforted him some. His parents were doing everything in their power for Oishi to give up this "insanity" of his. They locked Oishi in his room for a whole week. They even had him miss school just so that he wouldn't see Eiji. Oishi doesn't know, but Eiji saw the scars on his arms, and knew from the bandages on his hands that he had punched the walls, and cut himself to release the anger he had bottled inside.
Lately, Oishi has been really kept to himself and doesn't talk much, which makes Eiji extremely worried about him. He doesn't know what to do or what to say besides "I'm Sorry." His lack of empathy is driving him insane. His parents are different from Oishi's. His parents were really supportive of him, and said "They loved him no matter what." Eiji looked up at Oishi. His eyes were distant and staring at something far off, he was in deep thought. Eiji snuggled up close and closed his eyes. If he could freeze time, it would be now, just the two of them togetherâ forever.
Oishi walked into his house and threw his book bag onto the ground and sighed.
"Taidaima" he said tonelessly.
"Oh! Oishi! You're home! I want to talk to you." His mother poked her head from the kitchen. Oishi looked up. He knew what his mother wanted to talk him about. It was always the same thing over and over again, and each and every time it ended him storming out of his house.
"Ok" Oishi said. He plopped himself down on the couch and closed his eyes, and thought about the park with Eiji. He could still feel Eiji's arms around him, and he could still tastes his lips from their last kiss. He could still feel the weight of Eiji's head on his shoulders when Eiji fell asleep.
"I've arranged for you to go see a psychologist." His mother said smiling. Oishi's eyes snapped open. He sat upright.
"WHAT?" He looked at his mother with wide eyes. "Mom you've got to be kidding me. A psychologist? What am I insane?"
"Wellâ you're not insane, sweetheart. Just notâ â right."
"Waitâ you're sending me to see a psychologist because of Eiji?" Oishi couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe his mother would do something this idiotic. Well, not idiotic, but harsh. How could she see his relationship with Eiji like some curable disease?
"Notâ entirely because of Eiji, But-"
"But he's part of the reason."
"Yes, but-"
"Unbelievable." Oishi said throwing his arms in the air.
"Sweetheart, I just want to know your reason for doing something like this? Is there a purpose behind this or do you really love him?" His mom asked. She looked straight at him. He could tell that she was worried, but at that moment, he hated her. She thought she was doing the right thing, she was so narrow-minded, he hated it.
"I don't want to talk about this right now."
"Then when?"
"Never, as far as I'm concerned. Why can't you be like Eiji's parents? Why can't you just accept me, as your son, not as some gay person."
"Because I will not stand for a gay person in my house hold." His mother blurted out. She covered her mouth right after she screamed. She didn't mean for it to come out the way it did. Tears shone in her eyes, you could tell she was very very upset. It hurt Oishi to see him mother such a way. He sighed and closed his eyes again.
There was a long silence.
"Do you love him?" His mother spoke up in a hoarse yet stern voice.
"What?"
"Do youâ love him?" His mother repeated slowly.
"Yes." He responded almost immediately.
"Think about it. Do you really?"
Oishi lay there on his couch thinking. He thought of Eiji's smile, of the way his red hair shone in the sun. He loved everything about him, but the feeling seemed to disappear at that moment. The feeling, where his heart started to race, where his body went numb and the world seemed to melt together. The feeling, the only feeling he felt when he was Eiji. It was gone, when he thought about Eiji now, he was just a boy. Oishi began to panic. What if I'm not really in love? What if my mother's right? What if this is a stage? Oishi's doubts rushed in endlessly filling him with panic.
"â I don't need this." He said frustrated. He didn't know what to think, so he stood up and walked outside.
It was a cool crisp evening, and the sun was about to set causing the sun to be a stunning blend of orange, purple, pink, and gold. Oishi walked aimlessly around letting his feet guide him wherever he was to go. He thought as he walked. He thought of all the things that Eiji and him had been through. He thought of the way Eiji looked, he thought of the way he felt around Eiji. Are all those feelings love? Or is it lust?Oishi wondered. He wanted to know if his feelings were genuine or if they were just a trick of the mind, and this whole thing was "just a phase".
"Oishi?" Came a voice behind him. Oishi whirled around to be greeted by the red haired boy he had fell so deep in love with.
"Eiji" Something about the way Oishi said his name made chills run up his spine. He looked into Oishi's eyes, the glimmer of happiness was gone, and his eyes were glossed over in confusion, and anger. Something was wrong, very wrong.
"Nani? What's wrong?" Eiji said looking concerned. Eiji reached over to touch Oishi's shoulder but Oishi slapped it out of the way. Eiji stood there staring at him. What was going on? Something's wrongâ very wrong.
"Do-â don't touch me"
They stood there in silence for a couple of minutes, Eiji stared at Oishi attempting to read his face to get a clue as to what was going on.
"What's wrong? Talk to me please?" He finally spoke up. Oishi could see the tears shining in his amber eyes. He looked away. He couldn't bear to see Eiji in pain, like this.
"Sayâ somethingâ anything, just please what's going on in your head?" A tear rolled down Eiji's cheek.
"I"
"Oishi it shouldn't be this hard to talk to me." Eiji felt something in his stomach, a twisting. He kind of knew what was coming at him, but just refused to believe it.
"â Eijiâ I-âI thinkâ that we shouldâ take a break."
Silence.
"What?" Eiji cried out.
"It's justâ I think it'd be better if we justâ didn't see each other."
"Waitâ after all we've been through you're just going to throw it away here? After all we fought for?"
"No! No I'm not throwing it away. I just need time to think things over."
"You need to think whether you want to be with me or not? Then why were you with me in the first place?" Eiji asked.
"Eijiâ listen I didn't CHOOSE this decision" Oishi said trying to reason.
Eiji looked up in disbelief. Two more tears rolled down his cheek.
"YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE??? YOU DIDN'T CHOOSE THIS DECISION? THEN WHAT DID YOU DO???"
"It's just a break."
"You understand that a break, means" Eiji hoped to knock some sense into Oishi.
"I know what it means Eiji."
"And you're STILL going to go through with it??" Eiji screamed. Tears were streaming down his face now. His heart turned to lead. His chest hurt too much, he couldn't breathe. His stomach twisted and turned, he didn't know what to think.
"I NEED THIS BREAK, EIJI!" Oishi shouted.
"AND I NEED YOU!" Eiji yelled back.
Oishi stared at Eiji. The pain that Oishi felt was unbearable, he could hardly breathe. Each breath was deep and painful.
"Leave. Now. Get out of here." Eiji gritted through his teeth.
"E-"
"LEAVE!!!" Eiji screamed. Oishi stared at Eiji for a while, and then walked off. He didn't know what made him do it, but he walked off. Eiji looked at the back of this lover through blurred eyes from tears. He watched him until he Oishi was a blur. He sank down to his knees and cried, cried for Oishi, cried out the pain.
Oishi walked down the dark road letting his feet take him wherever he was to go. The street lamps flickered, guiding him through the darkness, into the distance. His mind floated around in the past. Eiji's face was swimming around in his head. How Eiji smiled before, and how he was just a few minutes ago. Oishi's stomach twisted around. He felt a pang of guilt and suddenly realized what he had done. He thought about hugging Eiji, being glomped by him, and holding his hand down the hallway. All of that was gone now, in the past, he would have to learn how to live his life without Eiji. Oishi stopped walking wondering if it were possible. He suddenly remembered how his heart skipped a beat when he saw Eiji, how his day brightened up just to see him smiling. Everything that once made his life whole was now gone, and Oishi stood in the middle of the dark road, alone and empty.