Hey guys! This is my very first chapter on my very first fanfic, lol! It's rated R for language, sex, sexual themes and other stuff, probably violence and all that jazz. Enjoy it!!!
For the record, I'm not J.K Rowling. Well, sometimes I think I am, when I get my collection of Harry Potter books, scrawl my autograph all over them, and pretend I'm doing television interviews. "Why yes, it feels absolutely amazing to be the worlds best selling children's author! The money isn't too bad either!" But in the real world (outside my padded cell) I'm not J.K. So these aren't my characters. No matter how much I torture them!
Oh, and although I haven't seen any particularly nasty homophobic comments (which makes me think, wow, maybe this world doesn't suck as much after all), I'll just say that from now, any stupid comments will be deleted. This is a story with homosexual content, and if that's not your thing, or you're offended by it, then kindly be on your way and don't read it. If however, you are going be open-minded and respect what I write, then please, read it!!! It also contains elements of severe homophobia, so if you don't like to read homophobic content, then I guess that this isn't for you either. I hope the readers like it though! Enjoy!
A piercing shriek came from the bottom of the corridor and Harry Potter closed his eyes and sighed. He knew whom that scream of delight belonged to before he even laid eyes on them, and his fears were confirmed when he turned around and found himself staring into the face of Pansy Parkinson.
"Here he is!" she screeched, and a gaggle of slytherins surrounded him and Hermione. "So is it true?" she asked gleefully.
"What, that you're a puffed up pug faced pig?" interjected Hermione viciously, "Yes, that's certainly true."
"Shut it mudblood!" Pansy snarled and Harry felt Hermione's shoulders slightly stiffen next to his own. "What I meant to say - before I was rudely interrupted," she threw in, throwing Hermione a dirty look, "was, is it true about the rumours I've been hearing about Potter on the train ride down here."
The crowd fell silent eagerly awaiting his answer. Harry glanced at Hermione, who was looking down to the floor, embarrassed for him. He stared into Pansy's eager pig-like face and said quietly, "Yes. Its true."
Pansy gave a triumphant squeal and laughed loudly. "I knew it!" she screeched. "Potter is a queer! Potter is a queer!" she chanted, and the whole group of Slytherins started to join in.
Harry tried to ignore the chanting that was surrounding him, but it was hard. He wondered, for what seemed like the hundredth time since he walked into school only half an hour before, why he had ever outed himself, on top of all the other burdens he had been dealing with over the summer. Along with Sirius's death, his prophecy being told, Dumbledore ignoring him, and then getting sacked, his battle with Voldemort, the deal with Hagrid, not to mention that complete witch Umbridge making his life a living hell, he'd also been living a double life as he went on, causing his already troublesome problems to seem much worse then they were.
(Flashback)
He tried to ignore it, of course. They say the first stage is denial, and deny it he did. He attempted to go out with Cho Chang, the ravenclaw seeker, but it didn't work out. He couldn't understand why he wasn't attracted to her, but convinced himself that it must have been her constant waterworks that turned him off. But he still hadn't fancied any other girls
There was Ginny, Ron's little sister, but of course he didn't fancy her, she was like family. So there was nothing unnatural about that. Luna seemed to like him, but Luna was weird, enough said. So, it was quite obvious he wouldn't fall for her. But his mind whittled those three down to zero, and Harry had been forced to bring up the truth he had tried to hide for the past couple of years.
He was gay.
He hated himself at first, tried to get rid of it inside of him, as though it was a disease. He used to force himself to keep his eyes on the attractive females when he saw them walking down the street, but their equally attractive boyfriends were just far more interesting
When pleasuring himself, Harry focused his mind on a naked female body. He kept that image in his mind, stroking his dick gently. It remained limp, unaroused by his touch, until an image of a buffed up male body unwillingly entered his mind. He tried to push it away first, but as his dick grew bigger, it was harder to fight. Finally he gave in, and masturbated to these guys who forced themselves into Harry's thoughts at every moment.
Okay, so he was gay. He was half admitting it already, but it still repulsed him. Gay guys were effeminate and flouncy, and he was neither of these. He wondered whether it grew inside of him, until one day he'd be mincing with the rest of them. He often cried loud, racketing sobs into his pillow, alone and unloved. He thought about everything he'd be missing out on, marriage, having children, growing old with someone he loved next to him. These things were all important in life, and he couldn't imagine going through life with nobody to love, or love him.
One day, when walking around Little Whinging, he encountered Dudley and one of Dudley's mates. He knew they wouldn't hurt him while he was armed with his wand, but he was still wary when he saw the nasty grins they gave each other when they saw him approaching.
"Hey queer," greeted Dudley's friend, Piers, nastily, and Dudley guffawed. Harry felt tense, before he relaxed a little. Dudley didn't know, and that pipsqueak Piers most certainly didn't know. They were just using that word as a putdown, like it was something bad. And then something dawned on Harry. It wasn't anything bad at all. Just as he was about to say this, a deep voice spoke from behind him.
"Now, now, now, that wasn't a nice word to use was it?"
Harry spun round and stared at the man the voice belonged to. He was about 6 foot, 2 inches tall, with big muscles. He wasn't alone. His friend was standing a little behind him, almost as tall, and almost as muscle-bound as he was, though he had dirty blonde hair instead of brown.
Dudley gave an uncertain smirk. The man looked slightly amused.
"I want you to apologise to this young boy," he said matter-of-factly to Piers. "Now."
Piers' eyes were widened in shock as he stared at the tall man in front of him. He opened his mouth as if to comply with his orders, but Dudley stopped him.
"We're not apologising to that fag," he said.
The man took a step forward.
"You shouldn't call people nasty names," he said quietly.
Dudley took a step back.
"Why, what's it hurting you mister, if I call that boy – my cousin – a fag?"
The man took a step forward.
"Because," he said calmly, "I'm what you'd like to call a fag. And see that guy over there?" he pointed to his brown haired companion. "He is my fag boyfriend. Now unless you want this fag to kick your ass I suggest you apologise. Now."
After that, Harry had no qualms about telling his fellow Hogwarts students the truth. He was gay and proud. Still, he still found that his voice shook when it came to telling Ron and Hermione, who were sitting with him in the carriage compartment, having just got back from a prefect meeting. It almost took him the whole train ride to manage to say it, but at last he stammered it out, just as they were five minutes away from the school.
Hermione was fussing over Ron's robe, who was complaining loudly. "Come on Hermy, I get enough of this fussing from my mum, I only left her a couple of hours ago!"
"Don't call me that," said Hermione crossly, "I'd managed to forget about Grawp without you using that stupid nickname to remind me."
"Uh, guys?" They looked up at Harry. "I've got something to tell you."
Hermione and Ron looked at him expectantly. "Go on," said Ron.
Harry shook and stammered before finally blurting out, "I'm gay."
There was a stunned silence in the carriage, and Harry regretted telling them as soon as he said the words. Ron looked like he was going to be sick and opened his mouth to say something. Hermione shot him a warning look, and instead, he just looked at Harry and shook his head disgustingly.
"Ron," Harry began as he pushed past him and marched to a different carriage. He started to go after him, but Hermione stopped him.
"Give him time, Harry. He needs to get used to it."
Harry looked at Hermione, who was a hazy blur through the tears forming in his eyes. "He's meant to be my best friend Hermione," he whispered.
"And he is," she said soothingly. "He just needs time, it came as a bit of a shock, I must say."
"Yeah, well, at least you're not walking out on me," said Harry gratefully. Hermione smiled.
"I'll always be here for you," she said, embracing him in a hug.
(End Flashback)
"Come on," said Hermione importantly, steering him out of the crowd, pushing the jeering Slytherins out of the way, "You don't have to put up with this."
"Why not," Harry sighed, as they walked outside, "I might as well get used to it. I mean its not like I'm not used to people talking and staring at me at school. At least I've updated them on the gossip. To be honest, it was pretty boring to hear Malfoy and Parkinson call me scarhead all the time. Now I've got a new nickname!" He laughed a bit too loudly at his own feeble joke, and Hermione knew that he was hurting inside.
"Harry," she said kindly, putting an arm around his shoulder, "you're going to get through this."
Harry opened his mouth to answer, but a wolf whistle was executed behind him. He turned, and saw the triumphant grins of Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy, who especially looked pleased with herself, having told Draco what she'd heard.
"Look at the filthy mudblood putting her dirty hands on Potter!" he laughed loudly.
"Oh its probably the only love life she has, with a homo." said Pansy spitefully. "Who'd go out with that bushy haired freak?"
"I am currently dating Ron," Hermione said in a dignified manner.
"Ugh, the Weasel and the mudblood together," Draco spat. "Turns my stomach." He turned to Harry. "And where do you fit into all this scarhead?" he grinned nastily. "Or are you doing Neville in your spare time?"
"Oh shut up Malfoy," Hermione shouted.
"You've been keeping pretty silent in all of this Potter," Draco said. "Pussy got your tongue? Doubt it!" Pansy shrieked unnecessarily loud at this lame joke, while Crabbe and Goyle guffawed, pretending they understood it. Harry continued to stare at Draco in hatred.
"Ugh baby, I think he fancies you," said Pansy, disgusted.
"Gross!" agreed Goyle.
"Don't worry babe, this is all for you," smirked Draco and kissed Pansy full on the lips.
"There goes my breakfast!" said Hermione, and Harry laughed backing her up.
Draco looked at her angrily. "Well at least I'm not an ugly mudblood," he said to Hermione viciously. And then he turned to Harry. "And at least I'm not gay, you disgusting fag. I bet your parents died at the embarrassment of having a queer son, probably a relief to be killed of Voldemort eh Potter?" His words hit Harry hard and he charged at Draco before Hermione could hold him back. He leapt onto him, before getting pulled of by Crabbe and Goyle, who had been to slow to stop him in the first place.
"Potter. Malfoy. Up. Now."
These four commanding words belonged to someone who would make the current situation a whole lot worse, and Harry slowly got up and stared into the eyes of Snape, the potions teacher.
"Fighting on your first day of school Potter," he tutted reprovingly. "I'm afraid your first week of evenings will be dedicated to detentions with me."
"But Professor," Hermione cut in, "Malfoy provoked him, calling him names, being homophobic and –"
"I'm quite aware of what Mr. Malfoy was doing Miss Granger, I'm neither deaf nor stupid." Snape said coldly. He turned to Draco. "And you will also be in detention, Mr. Malfoy. Though I agree with the comments you made about Potters stomach-churning sexual preferences, Dumbledore wants to follow a new 'equal opportunities' regime. I expect to see you both tonight, outside my office at six o'clock sharp." He started to walk away, before turning back to Harry. "Oh, and fifty points from Gryffindor" he sneered, "And you know damn well why, Potter."
Well, that's chapter one of my very first fanfic. Please, leave reviews and ideas of what you think and how it could be improved! Thank you to everyone who read it!!! Take care, from Jordan xxx!