"Worthy"
by Sara Jaye

Just a random, spur-of-the-moment ficlet I came up with this morning. ) After realizing
there's like, no fanfiction about Lowen I decided to write one of my own. He's just such
an interesting character. :D

-

"A knight of Pherae must never falter."

How ironic that this should be my motto. For faltering is what I seem to do best.

All I want is to be a worthy knight of Pherae. I want to do my best for Lord Eliwood, for
General Marcus to be proud of me.

But I always seem to do something wrong. I always get nervous.

Yesterday, I forgot to prepare breakfast for Lord Eliwood. I stumbled a bit during our
march, and General Marcus scolded me as usual.

"You've got heart, boy. But that's about it," he said. As if putting my heart into our
cause isn't enough...if I don't shape up and practice harder, I'll never become as good as
Lord Harken or Lady Isadora.

At least Lord Eliwood respects me and treats me kindly. Too kindly, though, considering
I'm supposed to be one of his guardians. He tells me it's okay if I forget to make
breakfast, or if my spear arm is a little unsteady. So naive...doesn't he understand? It's
not okay! I can't afford to make any mistakes, especially now! The journey ahead of us...
it's going to be a long, difficult one, is it not? I can't afford any errors!

Wow, listen to me...maybe Rebecca was right when we spoke earlier...I am too hard on
myself.

I can't help it, though. Sometimes, I feel so useless...I'm supposed to protect Lord
Eliwood, but General Marcus and Lord Hector can do that just as easily and much better
than I can. Cooking? Any of the women in our army can just as well do that. And those
knights of Caelin are much more skilled and confident on the battlefield than I can ever
hope to be.

"A knight of Pherae must never falter."

Maybe I was just never meant to be a knight.

And yet I keep trying. Despite everything I have going against me, I must not give up! I
WILL become a worthy knight of Pherae! Not just for myself, but for everyone dear to me!

Someday...

For now, though...maybe I should work on overcoming this insecurity of mine.

Just you wait, General Marcus, Lord Eliwood...everyone...someday, I WILL show you what I
am made of!

-End-

Aah, that felt good. :D As I said, Lowen's just such an interesting character, and when
you consider his "death" phrase, it's kinda ironic... Poor guy, he seldom gives
himself enough credit. But he works hard and cares about Eliwood and Rebecca and
everyone...plus, he can be a pretty badass paladin if given the effort. XD