Denial...this word brings so much things into my head....

Why?

Why do I love you?

You're a bastard who is unworthy of someone like me. You're a heartless, stupid, moronic iceberg of a teammate...

But I may be wrong...

Maybe I'm the one who is unworthy for you.

I'm a nagging, no-brain who hangs out in the ramen shop...the one who hopelessly dreamt of being a hokage...

Yes.

I hate Sakura. She thinks highly of herself because she thinks she's the ultimate beautiful woman that ever walked the face of the earth.

She's wrong.

Rock Lee is a fool to have taken a liking at someone like her. Hangs on to every word she says and adore her stupidness...He's a baka for having to worship someone as stupid as that bitch...

I don't like Sakura. I just said so because I almost let it slip that I have a crush on you. How?

When Kakashi-sensei, Iruka-sensei and I is hanging out in the ramen shop, they purposely caught me off-guard and asked me who my crush is. I answered, "My teammate, Sa--" And then when I realized I could say your name, I let it end up with a, "--kura."

And then...

All was lost...

Everything.

And then that equally moronic friend of hers...what's her name again?

Oh ya. Ino.

And, I almost forgot...all the girls in the academy worship you...they would actually lick your shoes if you want them to...

Damn.

And me?

I was left, in a corner, pretending to like Sakura, pretending to be happy when I'm not...

And....

and...

and...

Oh to hell with it...

To pretend I hate you when my heart is almost tearing in pain to tell theworld how much I love you...

I'm jealous of the people who talk to you and you say a thing or two to them.

While I, you tell me to go away and shut up.

But I don't hate you.

I'm happy you even said a word to me.

I adore how your lips open, breathing harsh words against me...

I love how you sigh hopelessly when you can't seem to shake off Kakashi-sensei's stubborness.

My knees want to give away when you strike your cool and laidback pose, while leaning against a tree.

My mind drifts away when your elegant eyebrows form a horizontal line and your mouth forms a scowl, then you pick up your pen and tried to answer a particularly hard question in the examination.

My heart skips a beat when our hands touch, or when you grip my wrist too hard because I don't wanna train because I'm hungry...

And I sometimes have to let my nails dig into my palm when I fantasize about you, lying above me, taking me, again, and again, and again....

Don't you know you have this control in me?

It sounds wrong....it IS wrong...

But I love you...and that makes it right.

Why does my pride stand in the way?

Loving someone with the same gender is...wrong...but why???!

GODDAMNIT!!!!

If only you knew, how much I cry at night everytime I remember you, all alone, denying everyone...

If only you knew, how empty I am.

My laugh is hollow and you are BLIND!!

Yes, even if you have sharingan...

What use is that then?

And what if, I can erase your past, your sadness, cast them all away into the darkness of nothing and you can live a new life...

With eternity ahead of you...

And you can love anybody you desire...

And I, will go to your wedding and be your best man.

And I, will be the godfather of your child.

And I, will guide your child to love you, and his mother...whoever she may be.

And I, will love nobody except you...

Even if you don't know it....

And then, I will deny myself, over and over again...

I'm sorry.

For crying for you.

For denying you.

For being attracted to someone as beautiful as you are.

And...

For loving you with all my heart...

-Owari

(Sept. 9, '04)

Heck...This is written after our week long exams...If you want me to continue this 'pampalipas oras' (past time) you'd have to wait since I'm so busy, it's my first time to write again in my computer...Para po ito sa mga Pinoy na namimiss na ang Naruto series na tinanggal na ng ABS-CBN...Miss ko na rin po.