Walking under the rain feels so lonely and cold…
But if you were beside me and make me feel the warmth of your love…
Then I'd rather stay under the rain for the rest of my life…
…
Part Twelve:
Missing Piece
…
..:Inoshi's P.O.V:..
"Ino…" I whispered onto my daughter's ear and tapped her gently.
No response.
"Ino, princess… talk to daddy… please…" I said almost pleading as I felt my eyes starting to water. Seeing my daughter get hurt was enough but this is too much. Ino suffering is more than enough to wreck havoc into my heart.
Three whole weeks without eating, neither sleeping nor talking. Ever since that fateful day, Ino had been acting like this. Ever since the death of Nara Shikamaru.
During the burial, I could see her blank face—as if nothing was happening around her. She made no hysterical cries and didn't even shed a tear, not in front of us, to say the least. She was just standing right there and kept staring at the grave of her departed husband.
It was the look on her face that got me worried and scared at the same time.
The look of guilt that I believe made her like this.
The others say that we should leave her alone for a while. They say that she's still in shock about Shikamaru's sudden death. I heard that they didn't get the chance to talk when he died.
But right now…
I couldn't bring myself to leave her isolated in her own thoughts.
Twice, I'd seen her attempting suicide. It's nothing but pure luck that I decided to stay in the house because if I didn't, she would've followed Nara boy in the middle of nowhere already.
"He's not dead… Shika-kun is not dead…" she mumbled coldly that made me startled.
I let out a deep breath and embraced her as tight as I could. "He's dead, Ino… You have to face it. He's gone and forever would be gone… He won't come back anymore."
She gripped my arms and I felt tears falling down my skin. She shook her head violently and said, "No! That's a lie! He told me that we'd be together! Shika! Shika-kun never breaks his promises! T-That's why… I know he's not dead! He'll come back to Ino! He'll come back to me!"
"Damn it, Ino! Snap out of it! He's gone forever! Do we have to spell it out for you!" a familiar voice shouted coming from behind us.
And there, the sole survivor of the Uchiha clan stood remarkably with scarlet eyes saying, 'I'll handle this hopeless woman, Inoshi-san. Go get some tea for yourself.'
I stood up and gave a meaningful look at Sasuke and finally left the room.
This is going to be a long talk.
…
..:Sasuke's P.O.V:..
I can't help but feel nothing but pure pity for the sulking lady in front of me. She greatly lost weight and her skin became a clearer vision of pale to me. She became skinny compared to the last time I saw her.
Lack of sleep and attempted suicides… God knows what else.
"Liar." she said accusingly. "He's still here, Sasuke. He won't leave me like this!"
I walked towards her and gave her the least thing I could do to help her out. To free her from the entangled chain that was locking up her fragile mind from facing the fateful reality.
'Forgive me, Nara.' With that, I slapped her face harder than anyone would ever imagine.
…
"Stubborn woman! I could clearly see why Shikamaru left you sulking here." I said and folded my arms across my chest. If Inoshi-san can't make her face reality, then I'd make her accept it in MY way.
In Uchiha Sasuke's way.
"Shut up…" I heard her replied softly but sharply. "You don't know what I'm going through…"
I could only smirk in amusement as I said, "Of course I know what you're going through and guess what? You're doing bad, woman." Walking a few paces towards her I grabbed her forcefully by the right arm. "He left you because he believed you'd be able to handle it, Ino! Look at you… You look like you haven't been on the outside world yet."
Her head remained dropped and I could hear her muffled cries that seemed to be kunais and shurikens being dug onto the insides of my flesh. If someone like me was antagonized at this sight, what more of her father? What more could Yamanaka Inoshi feels right now?
"You need not to mourn for him forever, Ino. Crying won't bring him back to life." I said and felt something that shattered deep inside me. Didn't I also witness the death of my loved ones?
"It hurts… It hurts like hell…" She said and looked straight at me. Her deep, blue eyes melted something that I suddenly wanted to take off my own eyes away from hers. It tells something… something that resembles great pain.
Desire…
I saw how much she longed for the Nara guy and it fears me just to see how much yearning those set of cobalt eyes contained. To think that she longed for Nara alone…it was all too unbelievable and astonishing to see.
Freeing her off from my grasp, I stared at her. "Wouldn't it also hurt Shikamaru to see you in pain like that?" I finally stood up and let out an audible sigh. "Just think of how much you miss him and believe me, he misses you a thousand times more than you do. Keep that in mind, Ino. He's just there…waiting for you." I walked away to leave the room.
I can't stand seeing a woman I pain. I'm not really like some psychologist to deal with other people's mind. Every body knows that I'm not up to the job. Still, I'm fed up with all these angst.
All those secrecy and selfishness won't do any good.
If there's one thing I wish to do and repent for, it's to lighten up other people's feelings. There's nothing wrong looking at the positive side, right?
"Thank you, Sasuke-kun… You, of all people…" I heard her soft murmur of thanks but I pretended not to hear it and went out of the room.
She'll be recovering from it in no time. Ino's a strong woman—as what Shikamaru told me. I'm sure she can handle it. Every body else does, too. Considering the fact that someone else's presence was there to block my slap on her… He's there, I know. Nara Shikamaru is there. He's just watching…
…Always be watching…
..:Ino's P.O.V:..
I stood in front of his grave with flowers in my hand unmindful that I was already soaked up under the rain. I decided to visit him again today four days after his burial because today is a special day.
I placed the peach blossoms in front of the stone tablet that read 'Nara Shikamaru'.
A gentle autumn breeze found its way to greet me but I ignored the chill that swept along my spine. I smiled half-heartedly at the man I used to love so much. Too bad… he wasn't here to see it. My fingers instinctively ran along an invisible trail as I traced the contours of the stone tablet. A nostalgic feeling came inside me that I suddenly felt alone.
All alone…
I know I'm crying right now but it's plainly hard to distinguish if these droplets falling on my skin were tears or were just plain rainwater. It's been so long. It's been so long since I had cried like this.
"Gommen, Shika… I just… want you to see how much…" I continued to shed my tears. I cried my heart out to the inanimate object that I know for a thousand times would never respond. It wouldn't respond the way the man underneath it did… when he was still alive. "I just want you to see how much I miss you…"
Nothing can bring him back now. He's gone and forever would be gone.
Despite the loneliness, agony and lament that I'm feeling, I tried my best to smile. Smile at the stone tablet as if it was really him I'm smiling at.
I shouldn't cry like this. Not today. Not in this special day.
"Happy birthday, Shika…" I told him as best as I could. "Make a wish."
There's no way he'll be able to hear it and I won't definitely hear him back. If only he was here…
If only he didn't die…
Again, endless tears started to stream down my face as the incessant rain joined me as a consolation. I just wish… I just wish he would still be here and yell, 'Troublesome brat! You'll get cold, Ino-baka!" And now I wonder… how could I face reality alone? How hard would it be to accept that he's already gone? Would it be as hard as Chouji's death or would it be even harder?
"You're all wet, miss." A voice from behind told me. Did the rain stop already?
Hesitantly, I looked up and noticed the umbrella he was carrying and as I took a good look on his face…
"Holy shit..." I muttered as I felt my hair standing on its end. The same chill ran through every inch of me and I was petrified in my own place. My heart began to race as if I was being chased by a thousand buffalos and I felt the color of my face being drained out.
I feel like a ghost from my past is haunting me.
"Miss? Hey! Are you alright!" I heard him call out.
He has the same look on his face.
Same as Shikamaru's…
Same bored look, same features, same physical aspects and same expression…
Is he really…?
Did he really…?
Oh god…
Before I knew it, I saw nothing but a complete blurry shade of black.
…
"She just passed out. Then I freaked out and took her here. That's it! She's not my girlfriend!" I could barely hear a man's voice coming outside the unfamiliar room I was in.
At the cemetery, I was currently having my 'talk' with Shika-kun. While I was crying, somebody told me that I was soaking wet and covered me with his umbrella. And then… I looked up and saw…
"This is bloody stupid…" I thought aloud.
He couldn't be Shikamaru. I was just having some delirium. That's all.
The door creaked followed by unsure and cautious footsteps. I managed not to look back feeling a bit unsure if I'm ready to do so. There was this feeling inside me that eats up my mind. If ever I am to look back, I'll see the greatest dread of my life. Hopefully, I wouldn't want to faint again. Because if I do, who knows what might happen to the poor guy that brought me here?
"Sorry about the noise. That's my mother scolding me. It must've woken you up." I heard his familiar voice say.
I swallowed the lump on my throat and forced a smile. "That's fine." I said simply but still didn't look at him. If it's because of this fear that I'll see a man that had been long gone, I don't know. What I know is that… I'm not yet ready.
He pulled a chair and sat beside the bed I was laying at. I could feel his eyes on me and if Shika-kun was still alive, I'll bet for a hundred bucks that this guy should've gotten his ass shaved already. "Uhm… if I'm not so rude to ask… why did you faint all of a sudden?"
I had this urge to look at him. I needed to see if he was for real. Of course he wasn't Shikamaru, but still…
Dear Kami-sama…please help me not to faint.
Mustering enough courage to face him, I looked back. And there, I saw him.
He's definitely an identical copy of Nara Shikamaru, if not a carbon copy.
So I wasn't hallucinating at all…
"Uhm…is there any dirt on my nose?" he asked and made an inquisitive face that only made him resemble Shikamaru even more. I felt stupid knowing that all I could do is stare at him and study his features. Could anybody blame me? I just... can't believe that there's still somebody else with that… look.
"I'm sorry. It's just that…" I took off my gaze at him and dropped my head in embarrassment. "You look so much like my late husband…Your hair style is the only difference." I started to confess. When I looked back at him to check his reaction, I was caught off guard to see him in bafflement.
"What? You're married! But…But you're so young!" he exclaimed and tilted his head sideways. "You're not 35, are you? You look too young to be…"
"I'm still 16, Mister—"
"That's Murayama Kenji to you." He answered and gave me the friendliest smile I have ever seen. "Sweet sixteen, huh? I bet your husband must be very proud…" He then nodded as if he got the answer to his questions.
I leaned back against the headboard and sighed inwardly. "I still wanted to ask you a lot more things, Murayama-san…"
"Save that, pretty lady. You need to get more sleep. You look like you're ready faint again." He said and stood up from his seat. "Don't be so formal. 'Kenji' would be fine. Oh, by the way, mom's corn soup is the best. I'll have you try it when you wake up tomorrow morning." He bid me farewell and went outside the room. As soon as I heard his retreating steps, I lie down the bed and convinced myself to sleep.
Tomorrow is definitely going to be a long day.
In every spring season, we enjoy the delightful pleasure the flowers bring as they bloom.
But…
The cold, autumn breeze would always find its way to tell us, 'I'm coming…'
Just like Ino. She can definitely move on and hopefully get over him.
But of course… There would always be a Nara Shikamaru inside her heart that keeps on saying,
'I'll be waiting here…for you.'
…
Saigo no kisu wa
Tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori
the last kiss
tasted like tobacco
a bitter and sad smell
Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni iru n' darou
Dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou
tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?
You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song
Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki-dasou to shite 'ru
Wasuretaku nai koto bakari
the paused time is
about to start moving
there's many things that I don't want to forget about
Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Watashi wa kitto naite 'ru
Anata wo omotte 'ru n' darou
tomorrow, at this time
I will probably be crying
I will probably be thinking about you
You will always be inside my heart
Itsu mo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
you will always be inside my heart
you will always have your own place
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
now and forever you are still the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song
You are always gonna be my love
Itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever...
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
until I can sing a new song
FIN
Author's Notes:
For those who thought that the last chapter was the ending, I'm afraid it's not. This is the official ending of the story. A sequel is completely prepared to be published as soon as I uploaded this chapter. Again, I'm terribly sorry for the VERY, VERY, VERY late update! Thank you for supporting this story and please read its sequel! Oh and the song at the end of this chapter is entitled 'FIRST LOVE' and it was sung by Utada Hikaru. Comments? Suggestions? Feel free to e-mail me!
Thanks for the reviewers!