Embarrassing Moments For The Cursed And Friends Chapter 6: Ayame Talks, a fruits basket fanfic

Embarrassing Moments For The Cursed And Friends

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket and never ever, ever, ever will dang.

Chapter 6: Ayame talks

This would have been up sooner, but my computer and fanfiction weren't working together. Sorry if it's a bit late.

This is a little OOC, but I think it works. Instead of the usual present time, this one was based when Yuki was 13 and his brother, Ayame, had to give 'the talk' to him. This is Ayame's moment so look closely now………..

"Ayame, where do babies come from?"

After spitting his drink out and coming down off the ceiling, Ayame looked at his younger brother in surprise.

"Why would you ask that?"

"I just want to know. Mommy won't tell me and dad looked at me funny. So, I came to you."

Ayame's eyes softened for a moment before they filled with fear. How was he going to do this? He couldn't just come right out and say it. He had to start at the beginning. This was going to be a long night.

"Well, it all starts when a woman gets her period. She is then able to have children. A young boy is actually physically possible to impregnate a woman when he is quite young, but that doesn't mean you should. A woman gets her period around the time when she is 11-15. They can come at anytime and once the girl gets her first, she's stuck with it for life."

"What's a period? Like the ones at the end of a sentence?"

"No, the ones that girls get are a bit different. They come once a month and for only about 5-7 days. It is a time when woman lose the blood from their womb, thing, because they haven't been impregnated. It doesn't hurt them, but it is quite annoying." Ayame is getting redder by the minute trying to do this.

To his knowledge he is alone with his brother too. But he was wrong; Shigure and Hatori are sitting in the other room smiling widely at each other. They had been there since the beginning. They had in fact asked the younger boy to go ask his brother to explain the miracle of life. They were taping it and it was going to be great when it was done.

"Where does all of the blood come from?"

Ayame's face was flaming by now, but he continued. "It comes from her bloodstream. Since the girl carries the baby, unless you're a seahorse, she ha to give it blood. So, when the blood is flowing through her body, she-"

"Ayame! My mommy sent me over here to learn about this stuff too." Momiji said coming in.

"Mine too, don't know why though." Haru said coming in.

Hatori and Shigure almost lost it and lost their cover. They were rolling around on the floor with silent laughter. The tape was still going though, so they didn't miss anything.

"Do you need me to start over?" Ayame asked red in the face at so many audience members.

"Nope, I can get it from here." Haru answered.

"I'm fine." Momiji said grinning.

"Good." He said. "Well, I was just saying-"

"Yeah, yeah. We heard you. Just start where you have sex and stuff."

"Right. Um, well, after a while when you're older and probably married, you'll probably become so close, you'll want to-ah-well-have………um………that is………….you'll……ah………want to do it." He finished lamely.

"I don't get it. What is it?" Momiji asked confused.

Ayame was almost dying by now, but he had to continue. Parents were counting on him. Well, not really, but he thought they were. "You'll most likely have it in your best interest to use a condom until you want a child. You just put the condom on your……………….. (insert word). After you do that, no little men can come out. They can't enter the woman and eat their way into her eggs. If one does escape she will become pregnant, unless she takes a pill. So, that's about it." He finished sweating.

"So, there's no stork?" Momiji asked almost crying.

"Nope, sorry, no stork."

So, the boys left with pictures of many sperm coming towards an egg and they each had a condom. Momiji blew his up in a balloon and played with it. Yuki looked at it and stuffed it in his drawer, at the bottom. Haru tucked his in his wallet. Twelve year-old with a condom.

So many years later Hatori was trying to explain the facts of life to Kisa and Hiro. It wasn't cool. It was funny, but not good.

He picked up a flower. "This is a flower right? Well, every woman has a garden. A garden needs a big hose to water or a small hose as long as it works, once in a while a man will take his hose and water the woman's garden." Hatori tried explaining. (Do you guys get it? I hope so. When I saw this in Now and Then I died laughing. It was so funny.)

"I don't get it. Kisa's supposed to have a garden?" Hiro asked confused.

"Ah.."

"Tori-san, why don't we use the tape we made a few years ago. Ayame explains it well." Shigure said coming in the door.

"That's a great idea." Hatori said going over to his cabinet and getting it out.

They put it in and turned off the lights. And so it started. Little did those four know, they had visitors. Yuki, Kyo came in with Tohru. They just sat and watched the movie in stunned silence. Yuki was getting redder by the minute and Kyo was looking back and forth between Yuki and the movie horrified. Tohru was blushing drastically.

"What's a period? Like the ones at the end of a sentence?" (Everyone busts out laughing and Yuki wants to die. He was so stupid. We still love him though.)

"Hatori! I came to see-" Ayame cried walking in. He stopped short when he heard and saw the tape. His face got red as he remembered the humiliation. "STOP THE TAPE! STOP THE TAPE!" He screamed.

"Sorry, but don't worry it's almost done now." Hatori said waving him off.

Ayame was acting like Tohru. He was waving his warms like he was trying to fly. He was in such panic he was almost fainting. It was bad enough for him to have explained it to his brother and Haru and Momiji, let alone these two. He died and came back. Wanting to crawl in a hole and die, he sat down on the floor almost crying.

"That's where babies come from." Hatori said turning on the lights when it was over. He was smiling widely.

"Oh, so, the "hose" you were talking about was really my-" Hiro started

"Okay, that's enough you two. Go run along and play."

"Oh we will." Hiro said devilishly.

The three sweat dropped and watched them leave. Ayame turned to the other two grinning men. He was beet red and really angry. But before he could say anything, Kyo spoke up.

"So, there really is no stork. Damn I liked that idea better." Kyo said, sending everyone into hysterics.

Ayame was seething now and steam was practically coming from his ears. "STOP IT! IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"Of course it is!" Shigure said still laughing.

"That was humiliating! I can't believe you TAPED that!"

"Taped it? We set it up! It was so funny to see your face when Yuki came in and asked you where babies came from." Shigure said crying he was laughing so hard.

"YOU DID THAT AS A JOKE!" He screamed. "HOW COULD YOU?!"

"It was quite easy. You really did fall for it." Hatori said laughing lightly.

"I still can't believe you did that. You also had the nerve to show it to people!"

"What do you think we made it for? Entertainment? Although it IS funny!"

"IT IS NOT FUNNY!"

Everyone is almost rolling on the ground laughing. Ayame just stands there outraged.

"One question Ayame, how do you know so much about that subject? I can't remember you ever being in class during health." Hatori stated.

"He had first hand experience." Shigure replied laughing again.

Everyone sweat dropped and laughed. Ayame was getting more embarrassed as the time went by. He was so red now you could see the steam emitting from his ears.

"And you people wonder why I disowned my brother years ago." Yuki stated calmly shaking his head.

After everyone calmed down a bit they all left. Shigure and Hatori were still grinning at Ayame when they were alone.

"I hate you two." He stated before leaving too.

"We love you too! Aya-san!" Shigure called out the door.