Author's Note: I realize I haven't updated in a hella long time. But you know…I am more motivated by long, substantial reviews rather than one-liners. Hint, hint. (: Anyways…here's some more of your favorite Naruto dudes and dudettes. (P.S. This chapter doesn't have any of the fab Gai trio, sorry. But they'll be back!)

Key:

Thoughts/Stressed/Flashbacks

"Dialogue"

Chapter Five: R.S.V.P.

Haruno Sakura pushed her fabulously pink locks from her sweaty face, blinking slowly through the beads of perspiration that flooded her face. No, it was not the weather that rendered her thus. Stress! It would be the death of her.

"I don't get it," murmured Yamanaka Ino, slapping the table impatiently. "No one at all has responded! Not one R.S.V.P.!"

They were sitting under the large umbrella in an alfresco café, clad in shorts and tight tank tops. Ino had been hooted at twice already. Sakura was well-known as the Hokage's wife, but had also been solicited by a man. He had been dealt with…severely. But oh, the flattery. It wasn't as if they didn't enjoy being admired—they were women, after all.

"Maybe it's because they don't want to come." Sakura's mouth twisted fractionally. "I'm not quite sure that I would want to come, either, if I were them. After all…it's been years, and we don't really associate with each other, do we? We don't even know if Tenten's little reunion with Lee-san and Neji-san worked out. It could've been a disaster, and we might just be pressing the wound."

Ino tapped a perfectly manicured finger on her glossy lips, frowning. She pointedly ignored the waiter who was giving her legs a nice, long ogle. "What fun is it to think that? We should be more positive. I'm sure they got off just fine! Don't jinx it, forehead girl! Besides…I think they're just too lazy to reply! I mean, even your husband didn't R.S.V.P.! What's the deal?"

Sakura perched her head in her hands. "I don't know…I brought it up, but he kept…distracting me." Her lips spread into a blissful smile.

However, she was soon brought back to the situation at hand by a stinging smack on the head. "Too much information! I do not want to hear about your distractions!"

"Ouch! Tell me you've never gotten distracted before!"

"Distractions aside, honey, your husband sucks." The blonde glared severely at the list before her. "Chouji, Shikamaru, Sasuke-kun, Naruto-sama, Kiba, Shino, Lee-san, Neji-san, and Tenten. Plus you and me. What is wrong with them? Can't they see a good thing when it sails neatly into their freakin' mailboxes!"

"You forgot Hinata," said Sakura absently, twirling the bendy straw in her lemonade. Silence ensued, thick and obvious. "Oh, I mean…yeah. Whatever." She snapped back to attention. "I guess we're going to have to take matters even more seriously."

"What do you mean? How much more serious could I be!"

"Don't make me answer that. I don't want to hurt your feelings." Sakura avoided looking at her best friend, and instead bit her lower lip to refrain from erupting into unsightly giggles. "What I mean is that we should go to everyone, individually, and you know…persuade them to come!"

Ino perked up considerably, her eyes glittering. "And with the right combination of threats, flattery, and manipulation…I like the way you think, Sakura."

Sakura smiled.

"But of course that must have been my aura rubbing off on you," continued Ino.

"EXCUSE ME! Of course I'm brilliant! You're the blonde!"

"Are you insulting my hair? Because I know you're jealous! At least I don't look like a Q-tip smothered in Pepto Bismal!"

"DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT! LET'S GO, INO-PIG!"

"BRING IT, FOREHEAD GIRL!"

"UGH! OW!"

"CRAP! NOT THIS BLOUSE! IT'S MY FAVORITE—"

"OH NO, YOU DID NOT JUST RIP THIS—"

"WAIT, MY PUMPS!"

Five minutes and many bruises later, the women collected their shoes, torn clothes, and bags and decided to leave the café.

Well, okay, they were thrown out.

Ino dusted off her disheveled skirt. "Brush, please. I can't believe they yelled at us like that!"

Sakura handed her a brush from her handbag, and snapped scathingly, "They're just too conservative! Who cares about the other tables anyway? No one was sitting at them! Oh, yeah. Mirror."

The blonde kunoichi slapped a mirror into Sakura's open palm. "Anyways…what was I saying about manipulation?"

"Who shall we get first?"

Ino consulted her list gleefully and rubbed her hands together spitefully. "We'll show them what happens when anyone ignores an invitation from us!"

… … … … … … … …

Chouji couldn't believe his luck. There he was, collecting dust in the corner of his favorite restaurant when someone had sat right next to him! A lady. Haruno Sakura, too be exact. And this brilliant lady was offering to buy him lunch.

Could life get any better?

"How've you been doing, Chouji? You look great!"

Indeed, he did. Long ago, as an obsessive teenager, he'd tried everything: diets, special fruit smoothies, and abstinence from anything fatty or junky. Pills, exercise machines; nothing worked. Finally, fed up with his pathetic existence, he decided not to care.

Being fit did not mean being thin; Chouji abandoned his desire to be trim and instead focused solely on being happy. His ninja skills expanded considerably and he was soon a permanent fixture of the judging panel of the annual Konoha Cook Fest. He was as happy as could be.

Of course, now that he didn't care, suddenly he transformed into a heartthrob before everyone's eyes. He was soon much taller than his sensei. His focus on training had earned him a muscular body and broad shoulders. Sure, he carried around some extra pounds, but that was just more to love. His features glowed with contentment. Suddenly, he was followed by many of the female eyes of Konoha.

Then again, he was often left to languish alone as Shikamaru had his own problems. He was found in this particular restaurant, in his favorite seat right beside the window where he could observe the comings and goings of everyone he knew.

Chouji had memorized every nook and cranny and every rough groove in the table. He knew the grain of his seat by heart, and the stains on the window were etched permanently in his mind. He was a creature of habit, and every afternoon found him here, eating or merely contemplating whimsically. The whimsical thinking part came from his association with Shikamaru. That boy's habits were quite contagious.

"Where's Shikamaru?"

"Off…doing something. He went on a mission last night, so I'm guessing he's cloud-watching."

"Is that so?"

Their food arrived, and Chouji tucked in spiritedly, now that he had a companion to accompany him in the fine occupation of feasting.

Sakura checked her watch discreetly. "Hey, Chouji…I have to admit I had an ulterior motive to coming to see you today."

He nodded. These noodles were good. Nothing could disturb him now; no bad news could move him from this little moment of bliss. Yum. It wasn't that he didn't care about whatever the hell Sakura was babbling on about, but…honestly, he was just too chill to be bothered. Even if Sakura looked exceptionally flustered.

"Did you happen to get that little invitation about a reunion?"

A nod.

"So…do you want to come?"

An emphatic shake of the head.

"Why not?" Her patience ebbed. "It'll be fun!"

He slurped noisily. "I'll have no one to talk to." He said it as though it were the most simple thing in the world; as if it were the only possible answer.

The pink-haired kunoichi wanted to kill herself. And I thought Chouji would be easy to chide into this. I thought he'd be the easiest one! "Um…what if Shikamaru came?"

"He already threw his invitation away. He said that it was…uh…'a stupid Gai-sensei-like thing to do' and that you were just trying to 'bring back' your 'popularity' because you were bored. And, frankly, I think he's right. What is the point?"

"Look, buddy! You're going to come whether this is a selfish thing or not! I don't care what precious Shikamaru thinks!"

Chouji's eyes widened slightly. "Look, Sakura, I didn't mean it that way…"

She took a deep, cleansing breath. "What would you say if I knew for sure that Shikamaru was coming?"

"He is?"

"…Er, yeah. I already talked to him!"

"Then I'll come. Are you going to eat that?"

"Uh, you can have it." She dropped a few bills on the tabletop. "Here's the money to pay for lunch. I've got to go somewhere. Nice talking to you."

Chouji took another huge bite and waved her off. No use to say goodbye when there was food to be eaten.

… … … … … … … …

"Ino! We've got a problem." Sakura raced toward her friend, a billowing cloud of dust streaming from the soles of her sandals. She took a shallow breath and gulped noisily. "A huge one!"

Ino jerked her head up, hair flipping directly into Sakura's face. Sakura spat Ino's hair out vehemently, but ignored the golden tresses because of her preoccupation with the dangerous situation at hand. "What?"

She breathed in again. "Well…I kind of told Chouji that Shikamaru was going so that he'd go…"

The blonde kunoichi did not seem at all troubled by this news. In fact, her visage was absolutely gleeful. "No problem, forehead-girl! I can get Shika-kun to go, no problem!"

"Yeah, right. I doubt it!" Sakura's expression screamed skepticism.

Her best friend took direct offense at her scoffing. "Oh, yeah! I BET YOU A DAY OF INTENSE SLAVE LABOR THAT I CAN!"

"What do you mean!"

"If I can get Shika-kun to go with me…then…well, you get to be my slave for a day!"

"Deal. I like my massages with a little oil, by the way!" Sakura shook her head and headed for the Uchiha residence.

… … … … … … … …

The day was a glittering, brilliant piece of wonder; the birds were singing their lungs out, the very air seemed to glisten and glow, and every cloud was a perfect, fluffy cumulus.

And yet, mused Nara Shikamaru, something is wrong. He lay sprawled on his favorite hill, his inert form hidden in the embrace of the soft, lush grass and his presence masked by a number of weather conditions that rendered it perfect to be cloud-watching.

But the clouds were too perfect. He longed to reach into the azure sky and rip the clouds from their neatly stitched seams. He wanted to tear them, rearrange them, and create something so imperfect that the world would marvel at its limping gait in the sky. The other clouds would be jealous of its different shape and speed. It would take up all the attention in the sky.

But he digressed.

It was in this peaceful place that Ino came storming in, breaking everything that had made it perfect. It was just as well. Nothing like that could last forever.

She was like a raging tempest, stamping and screeching. The other clouds were cowed by her amazingly electric presence. Insults and sarcasm flew as easily from her lips as lightning from a storm cloud. She was the imperfect cloud he'd been searching for, the one that he desired to break the serenity in his life.

Of course, he was just blathering. As soon as the thought drifted from his subconscious, his well-trained impulses rapidly shut it down. No need for that little thought to reach the conscious mind.

"NARA SHIKAMARU! What is the meaning of this! Why won't you come!"

"To what?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!"

True.

"…So? Why don't you ever come by just to say hello? What's with this yelling and screaming…man, women are so troublesome…"

Ino nearly had a corollary right there and then. She loathed that phrase. If anything in the world could make her commit cold-blooded murder, it was that. Instead, though, she collected herself enough to snarl, "SHUT UP!"

"What do you want, Ino? By the way, the answer is no."

"But wwwwhhhhyyyy!"

"I have no interest in this little reunion of yours. It's stupid and vapid and it's just a way to get some well-needed excitement and drama into your little life."

She cursed her bet with Sakura. She had better get that oil ready for Sakura's massage. "Listen, Shikamaru, I bet the thought never crossed your mind that maybe…maybe I was just lonely! Maybe I wanted my friends back, instead of the pathetic wave-hello stage we're all stuck at! Maybe seeing Tenten get ready to see her boys again made me want to see mine!"

Angry words spilled from her bitter tongue. "But I guess Mr. Genius never thought of it that way! I thought it would be fun! But your perfect world can't be spoiled with fun, can it!"

He groaned. "Ino, please…"

"Men are so troublesome! When a girl goes through the trouble of actually making and sending an invitation to a party that she had worked so hard to plan, she expects a little feedback, you know!"

Uh oh. Ino felt the tears boil in her eyes. They rolled out in huge gushes, ruining her mascara and spoiling her impeccable makeup. She probably looked like a wreck. Damn! I hate crying…

"Fine. Fine! You know what, Ino! I'll go. Geez. I hate women who cry. Stop crying." He reached into his pocket, fished out a handkerchief, and tossed it at her. Then he stood and walked away, muttering about women.

He looked up. The sky was different. A wet wind blew his way, and stratus clouds were filing in, neatly assembled in line behind the cumulus clouds.

Just the way he wanted.

Ino took Shikamaru's spot in the grass and stared at the sky. Tears were forgotten. Only one thought filled her head.

"SAKURA OWES ME A DAY OF SLAVE LABOR! HELL YES!"

… … … … … … … …

Ding dong.

Uchiha Sasuke was not a social person. He'd never been, and, chances were, he never would be. After all, just because he'd killed Itachi didn't mean that he had a lot of free time. If anything, it made him more brooding and secretive.

What he didn't want people to know was that he was drifting. Without a purpose. All life had been sucked out of him. All he ever felt like doing was going outside, and once he was outside, his sole desire in life was to be inside. Life dripped by, sometimes rapidly, and sometimes so slowly that he seemed to travel at the pace of syrup.

He dragged himself moodily to the door. Nothing interested him anymore, not even the doorbell.

Ugh. Sakura. He'd been invited to the wedding, but had not found the time to go. Well, okay. He didn't want to go. He'd just be reminded of what he'd missed out on while he'd been obsessed with his brother. How nice it would be to be normal.

"Sasuke-kun, I know you're there!"

He did not respond. Instead, he peered through the window to see if she'd left yet. She hadn't. Her bright pink hair was quite noticeable against the backdrop of bleak-looking bushes and a black door.

"Um…Sasuke! Please, open the door!"

Silence.

"I just want to talk, Sasuke…"

He almost said something. But he decided not to. His lips clamped together, biting back any words he wanted to say. Seeing her unlocked a little vial in his heart, the part that wanted to be happy.

"And…uh…okay. I understand. You still don't want to see me. But I want to see you! Well…I know you never check your mail. So…I guess…well, I'd just advise you to check your mailbox. If anything. You don't even have to talk to me. Just…check your mail. I'll be back." She turned around, and walked away.

Sasuke stared at the door for a long time, admiring the black paint and the glossy finish.

Then he went outside to check the mail.

… … … … … … … …

Author's Note: Oh, yeah, I realize that my description of Sakura's job a couple chapters back is outdated. But I wrote that before the current manga storyline, so…I guess we can call this fic A.U. Just a little.

And a lot of you guys guessed the SasuHina pairing I had in mind a while ago, but…I decided it doesn't really work. I have no fanfreaking idea what's going to happen with Hinata except that I'll think of something else. All my love!