The Battles of a Fanfic Writer
By Vixen
This was a writing exercise I just did to warm up for a fanfic that I know I'm gonna suck at writing.
Disclaimer: Joss is God, I fear his wrath. Don't sue.
Why can't I write this? I'm the only one qualified to write my story, the only one with this idea, even though I stole it from some guy on tv, does that matter? No. Nope. No way. I need to write this, I need to tell my story, I need Spike to be proud of me. Um, yeah about the last part.. I'm crazy. I'm a nut, I'm a loon who actually believes in Spike.. what's next the Easter Bunny? God, I'm hopeless. I'm hopelessly in love with him. Um, yeah this is so not going where I need it to go. So, what am I waiting for? Will the sky fall before I finish this stupid story. But, hey, it can't be that stupid if I got the idea off of the tv, right? I mean, it's a good idea, a money making idea.. though I doubt I'd make any money off of it, actually that would be illegal and very very wrong. But fun, very very fun. So, what is stopping me? I can't write Spike they say, I've lost my touch with the freak of vampire nature. Have I? Can I write Spike? Does he want me writing him? I don't want to fuck with his voice.. um, yeah.. I want to fuck with other things.. oh this is so bad. Bad is fun, bad is good sometimes. Spike is bad, but very very good. And see, therefore I know the underlying essence of Spike, his badness is his goodness. That is the corniest thing I have ever written in the history of the written word. Well, now look at this page, I have proved that I am capable of writing, I know spelling and grammar, and if I could only push through this embarrassment at writing about Spike, and not wanting him to speak weird I'll be a-okay. Right? Well, how to go about that… Spike, can you say something to the studio audience (see, he was with me the whole time, bottled up in side my head, I call him my Spike Muse.) Well, go ahead, say something.
You're wacked.
Well, yes, thank you very very much. Like I didn't know that? I'm writing a fanfic for god's sake, I have to be pretty wacked!
Would you shut up you stupid bint and start writing this epic staring me? I'm waiting. Gods, why do I hang around this dump anyway.. have you ever seen the insides of your mind, not at all squishy like I thought it would be when I first signed on.
Eww, like I would go inside my own mind. That's like all dark and dank and icky.
You writing yet? Why aren't you writing? Did I say you could stop writing?
I haven't started Spike Muse.
Stop calling me that.
Spike Muse, Spike Muse, Spike Muse!
Wait till I get this bloody chip out of my noggin, you and me are going to have a little chat missy.
Oh, yeah, I'm like… so scared.
*growls*
Fine, you know what, I'm going to write this epic for you after all, but on my terms.
The little writer's got terms. Sheesh, you'd think you were the bloody queen of England.
Bite me.
Just wait.
Yes, see, terms, First it doesn't matter how well the story is because it's mine and I deserve to write it.
Been watching Oprah on the telly again haven't you?
Second, I will write you as I want to write you and no complaining.
As long as I'm not turned into a poof... or a stink beetle, and I get to kill something.
These are my terms, not yours.
I'm the main character, writer, I get a fair share in what you write.
That's not going in our contract.
Sod off then.
Fine, fine, okay? I'll put in the exceptions you listed as long as you agree to mine.
Deal.
Oh, goodies, now I can go write! Thanks Spike-y.
Just remember: No poof-ness or I'll find a way to hurt you, chip or no chip.
The End.. until my next writer's block hits.
PS. I'm working on characterization, do you think I got it down good or does it still need work?
By Vixen
This was a writing exercise I just did to warm up for a fanfic that I know I'm gonna suck at writing.
Disclaimer: Joss is God, I fear his wrath. Don't sue.
Why can't I write this? I'm the only one qualified to write my story, the only one with this idea, even though I stole it from some guy on tv, does that matter? No. Nope. No way. I need to write this, I need to tell my story, I need Spike to be proud of me. Um, yeah about the last part.. I'm crazy. I'm a nut, I'm a loon who actually believes in Spike.. what's next the Easter Bunny? God, I'm hopeless. I'm hopelessly in love with him. Um, yeah this is so not going where I need it to go. So, what am I waiting for? Will the sky fall before I finish this stupid story. But, hey, it can't be that stupid if I got the idea off of the tv, right? I mean, it's a good idea, a money making idea.. though I doubt I'd make any money off of it, actually that would be illegal and very very wrong. But fun, very very fun. So, what is stopping me? I can't write Spike they say, I've lost my touch with the freak of vampire nature. Have I? Can I write Spike? Does he want me writing him? I don't want to fuck with his voice.. um, yeah.. I want to fuck with other things.. oh this is so bad. Bad is fun, bad is good sometimes. Spike is bad, but very very good. And see, therefore I know the underlying essence of Spike, his badness is his goodness. That is the corniest thing I have ever written in the history of the written word. Well, now look at this page, I have proved that I am capable of writing, I know spelling and grammar, and if I could only push through this embarrassment at writing about Spike, and not wanting him to speak weird I'll be a-okay. Right? Well, how to go about that… Spike, can you say something to the studio audience (see, he was with me the whole time, bottled up in side my head, I call him my Spike Muse.) Well, go ahead, say something.
You're wacked.
Well, yes, thank you very very much. Like I didn't know that? I'm writing a fanfic for god's sake, I have to be pretty wacked!
Would you shut up you stupid bint and start writing this epic staring me? I'm waiting. Gods, why do I hang around this dump anyway.. have you ever seen the insides of your mind, not at all squishy like I thought it would be when I first signed on.
Eww, like I would go inside my own mind. That's like all dark and dank and icky.
You writing yet? Why aren't you writing? Did I say you could stop writing?
I haven't started Spike Muse.
Stop calling me that.
Spike Muse, Spike Muse, Spike Muse!
Wait till I get this bloody chip out of my noggin, you and me are going to have a little chat missy.
Oh, yeah, I'm like… so scared.
*growls*
Fine, you know what, I'm going to write this epic for you after all, but on my terms.
The little writer's got terms. Sheesh, you'd think you were the bloody queen of England.
Bite me.
Just wait.
Yes, see, terms, First it doesn't matter how well the story is because it's mine and I deserve to write it.
Been watching Oprah on the telly again haven't you?
Second, I will write you as I want to write you and no complaining.
As long as I'm not turned into a poof... or a stink beetle, and I get to kill something.
These are my terms, not yours.
I'm the main character, writer, I get a fair share in what you write.
That's not going in our contract.
Sod off then.
Fine, fine, okay? I'll put in the exceptions you listed as long as you agree to mine.
Deal.
Oh, goodies, now I can go write! Thanks Spike-y.
Just remember: No poof-ness or I'll find a way to hurt you, chip or no chip.
The End.. until my next writer's block hits.
PS. I'm working on characterization, do you think I got it down good or does it still need work?