Series Title: The Bryan Adams Series

Title: Do I Have To Say The Words? – Story 27

Author: ANNE (the insane one)
Rating: PG

Summary: Catherine comes to Gil when Eddie dies.

Disclaimer: Characters et al belong to the people that make CSI. "Do I Have To Say The Words" belongs to Bryan Adams

Catherine's POV

Rescue me from the mire
Whisper words of desire
Rescue me - darling rescue me
With your arms open wide
Want you here by my side

I must look terrible. I've stood in the rain, I've been in a river, I've been holding my daughter while she cries. And then my daughter held me.

I asked Nancy to watch Lindsey for a while. I needed Gil. I need him to hold me and tell me that everything's going to be alright. I need him to hold me while I grieve.

"Catherine?" Gil is looking at me and his eyes look me up and down. He opens his arms out. "Come here."

I walk into his arms and collapse.

Come to me - darling rescue me
When this world's closing in
There's no need to pretend
Set me free - darling rescue me

Somehow we managed to get to the couch, and Gil is holding me in his arms. He's rocking me gently, his hand making soothing motions on my back.

"I'm sorry," I murmur, realizing I'm crying all over him.

"Don't apologise," he orders. "It's going to be okay, Catherine. I promise you."

"How can you say that?" I ask him. "Eddie's dead. Lindsey has no father. I'm now definitely a single mother with no child support. And God, though I hate myself for it, some part of me still loves him. And my daughter almost died tonight!"

"Lindsey's fine," he soothes me. "She's alive. And while I can't bring Eddie back, I swear I'll try and help you get through this."

I don't wanna let you go
So I'm standing in your way
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today

He holds me closer, and I find myself completely immersed in his comfort.

I've never understood how he's been able to do it, but he's always been able to take care of me. Sometimes without me even knowing he's doing it.

Gil shifts slightly so he's resting against the couch, my head buried in his chest. He still doesn't let me go, but holds me, letting me know that he's there.

Do I have to say the words?
Do I have to tell the truth?
Do I have to shout it out?
Do I have to say a prayer?
Must I prove to you how good we are together?
Do I have to say the words?

I knew that all I had to do was knock on his door and he would open his arms for me. He always has.

Some part of me did love Eddie. He was my husband and we made my beautiful little girl together. So I cry for my love.

And then another part of me hates him. Hates him for everything he put me and Lindsey through. So I cry for my hate.

But most of all I cry for this man that's holding me, comforting me, without question and without prejudice. The man that tended my wounds, that listened while I talked and held me while I cried.

"It's going to be okay, Cath," he murmurs, stroking me. "I'll help you make it okay."

And somehow I know he will.

Rescue me from despair
Tell me you will be there
Rescue me - darlin' rescue me
Every dream that we share
Every cross that we bear
Come to me - darlin' rescue me

FINIS