Zero n' Silent Chapter 3: Do I Have to Make Up Name for Every Ch?, a fatal frame fanfic

Disclaimer: …read the last 2 chappies please

JL: So lazy…and you call yourself an Asian?

KBM: …screw you pops

JL: Pops? I am not your father! O.O

KBM: Daddy…(latches onto JL)

JL: O.O (attempts to shake KBM off)

KBM: Daddy! Buy me a PSP

JL: Damn you! Let go!

Chapter 3: Do I Have to Make Up Name for Every Chapter?
Wood Side Apartments Lobby

Itsuki: What now?

Mutsuki: I say we stay here for a while…we have nowhere to go as of now and we do need sleep…

Kirie: I'm rooming with you baby cakes! (latched onto Mafuyu)

Mafuyu: Why me? T-T

(2 ppl pops out of nowhere)

: My head hurts ;.;

: You're such a wimp! Be a man and stop crying damn it!

Chitose: Hey! We got people here with some gift for us again!

Mayu: Already? Dang, that was fast foo

Mio: Fo sho!

Everyone else: …o.O;

: (sniff) My name is Kira and this is my twin sister Cagalli

Mafuyu: Holy shit! You mean to tell me that (points to Cagalli) is a chick and not a dude? What's this world coming to?

Cagalli: If you don't want your ass kicked by a girl, you better know how to shut up mo'fo!

Miku: Why you be all hatin' my bro like that bitch?

Itsuki: Stop talking like you're in Oakland!

Mutsuki: Ahh…Oakland…where all the Black and Chinese people dwells…

Sae: Don't forget hobos -.-;

Yae: (shudders) A pigeon shitted on me one time when I was out eating a parfait in front of Macys

Ryozo: Umm…that's San Francisco dear…

Yae: Really? My bad…

Kira: Umm…anyways, from Insane Sae-

Everyone: (eyes Sae)

Sae: It's not me!

Kira: -Mayu gets painkillers

Mayu: Oh gosh! Thank you! I needed that for my back pain and my spleen!

Mio: Don't you mean your knee?

Mayu: Same shit!

Chitose: No it's not…

Mayu: Oh, did you just hear little Chitose? It's the sound of little Chitose pulling out a painkiller out of her ass if she doesn't shut her mouth. Follow me?

Chitose: (cries) Onii-chan! (runs to Mutsuki and Itsuki)

Mutsuki and Itsuki: (glares at Mayu)

Mayu: What you lookin' at bitches? (throwing pain killer pills at the Tachibanas)

Itsuki: (gets hit) Aw! That fucking hurt ! (gets hit again) Aw! That was my beautiful fragile face! (throws back some pain killer pills back at Mayu)

Everyone else besides the Tachibanas: (ducks and covers)

Chitose: (gets hit in the eyes) Aaaaah! I'm BLIND! I can't see! Itsuki! Mutsuki! HELP ME! (runs around in circles) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs into a wall)

Mutsuki: …(gets hit)(pill bounce back by a magical wall) o.O;

Everyone: O.O; What the…?

Cagalli: Let me guess, you're the author's-

KBM: (pops out of nowhere) Authoress! I'm a woman damn you! (throws a random corn at Cagalli) (disappears)

Cagalli: (unconscious)

Kira: …that's what I get for having a WEAK sister. Who does she think she is? Gigantor? Anyways, I guess you're the authoress' favorite, am I correct?

Mutsuki: Umm…yes…

Kira: well, the authoress protects you by her authoress powers

Mutsuki: You mean to tell me that I ran around in fear of death in this forsaken sad excuse of a haunted town filled with hentai monsters for NOTHING! What the hell!

Itsuki: How could the authoress like my brother who was a measly 1000pt (KBM: was it 1000? I can't remember…o.O;) worth hidden ghost!

Mutsuki: That was touching bro…-.-;

KBM: (pops out of nowhere again) Don't you be sayin' that to my BABY! (kicks Itsuki in the shins) (disappears)

Itsuki: O.O (falls down to the ground)

Mutsuki: I can feel the power! Muwahahaha!

Sae: He finally snapped…

Yae: About bloody time! Speaking of blood, I think I'm leaking

Everyone else: ewwww!

Mafuyu: Too much information!

Kira: Anyways…Miku gets Type 90 Film and Mio gets Type Zero Film

Miku: …But it doesn't work on these hentai monsters tho…

Mio: Oh yea, sure give me the slow ass film! I'll get fucking killed before I even have the chance to use it!

Mafuyu: Hey! At least you got SOMETHING you ungrateful bitch!

Cagalli: (wakes up) Urrrg…my head hurts like a penguin on morphine…

Yae: o.O;

Kira: Mafuyu, you get a…SoraxRiku yaoi? Is it even legal to send porn?

Sae: Appears so

Chitose: Nii-chan? What's porn?

Mutsuki and Itsuki: …(sigh) Don't ask things you won't understand

Chitose: Just try meh!

Mutsuki: Here we go

2 hours later

Chitose: O.O (frozen stiff)

Itsuki: Was that wise?

Mutsuki: It shut her up did it?

Ryozo: To think I called them my best friends…

Mafuyu: Damn bitch monkeys! You people are that old?

Itsuki: Hey, at least we're still sexy unlike some old fart

Ryozo: At least I have families who love me and respect me!

Mutsuki: Your great-grandson just called you an old fart dum dum. That ain't no respect

Miku: I don't love him either…he smells bad

Yae: How dare you say such things to your elders! Didn't your mother teach you any manners?

Miku: …(lip quivers) MOMMY! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (runs to Mafuyu)

Mafuyu: You just had to bring that up!

Cagalli: Err this is getting way off topic…Itsuki!

Itsuki: Hai?

Cagalli: You get a Hajime Saito Replica Katana!

Itsuki: O.O (in British accent) Great Scots! I must say I love you very much dearie!

Everyone: WTF

Kira: Let's see…Yae and Ryozo gets…condoms? I thought this fic was rated T not M

Yae: Least I don't have to have another CHILD!

Kirie: You're dead Einstein! You can't have any kids

Yae: I can always dream

Mio: Dead peeps can't dream

Yae: haters! Why ya'll be dissing me like that?

Everyone: (ignores)

Kira: Kurosawa Twins gets Machetes!

Sae: Oh goody! (skips into mid air)

Mayu: I never want to see that ever again

Mio: (nods)

Yae: I can use this to cut steaks! I can cook some wonderfully delicious dinner to please my family with this! Yay!

Sae: I can use this to kill people! I can hack people up into bloody pieces without the Kusabi with this! Yay!

Ryozo: I still cannot believe that they're related?

Kirie: Oh really? What about them?

Miku: (reading The War and Peace)

Mafuyu: (reading SoraxRiku doujinshi)

Mutsuki: (watering a random flower garden)

Itsuki: (staring at his sword) Shiny

Chitose: (sleeping on the middle of the hallway)

Mio: (singing)

Mayu: (scratching her ass)

Ryozo: Holy Cow on SHARPIES! Is Mayu scratching her humungous ass?

Kirie: -.-

Kira and Cagalli: Last and not least, the Tachibana Twins get a BIG ass bottle of SAKE!

Mutsuki and Itsuki: O.O (stops whatever they were doing) (hug each other) BANZAI!

Chitose: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (hides in a corner)

Sae: insert her evil laugh

Cagalli: We still have more! From Evil Cassidy, everyone gets a Portable CD player with Fatal Frame 2 soundtrack, Chou, on it!

Everyone: YAY!

Kira: Too bad it doesn't come with any batteries! AHAHAHHA

Everyone: …what?

Cagalli: My idiot twin's right you know! No batteries!

Kira: Who you callin' an idiot? At least I'm not a stupid blonde bitch!

Cagalli: Shut up! Respect your older sister!

Kira: Older sister? Nobody knows who's older than the other you moron! And I should be the one who's older! Father loved me more anyways!

Cagalli: At least I'm not fat like you!

Kira: Hey! I resent that! And I'm not the one who flashes at the enemy!

Cagalli: At least we're engaged now!

Kira: Who happens to be my BEST FRIEND!

Cagalli: At least I didn't steal my best friend's fiancée you heartless bitch!

Kira: It's better than screwing with a female version of your best friend-oh shit! Is Athrun gay! O.O

Cagalli: O.O

Fatal Frame Peeps: (eating pop corns that popped out of nowhere. Get it? Popped out of nowhere? Pop corn that popped out of nowhere? …never mind)

Kirie: Err, let's just dig into the bag of gifts ourselves

Mafuyu: True…I think it'll take a while for them to get over whatever they were talking about

Miku: Let's see…from Kango…Chitose you got something!

Chitose: Yay! I actually got something specifically for me!

Miku: You got a pencil

Chitose: …oh well, at least I can draw on the wall with it! (draws on the wall) This is fun!

Pencil: (breaks)

Chitose: …

Miku: Binoculars for…me? Hey, that's actually useful! I can see if a monster is coming for us a mile away! (happy as a little girl on crack)

Ryozo: But there are fogs all over the place, you can barely see your own hand, how the hell can you see a monster a mile away?

Miku: Damn it! There goes by giddy moodie woodie…

Mutsuki: Hey bro! You got a credit card!

Itsuki: Cool! I can buy stuff on this…deserted…lifeless…rotting town…just great!

Chitose: It expired 5 years ago anyway

Itsuki: Maybe I can eat it?

Yae: Damn, you're stooping that low?

Itsuki: Shut up! I'm desperate okay? If only there was a dog near by…I could make my famous Inu Soup

Mayu: Yummm

Mio: Ewww! (throws up but accidentally throws up on poor Chitose)

Chitose: O.O NOOOOOOO! Why me! (cries)

Kirie: Mafuyu dear You got a sock!

Mafuyu: Not socks but a sock? What am I gonna do we a sock?

Ryozo: I dunno put it over your head or something? Ahahaha

Mafuyu: If only this was a nylon!

Ryozo: OMGWTFBBQ! You took me seriously! O.o;;

Kira: Okay, we're okay now Sorry to keep you waiting!

Cagalli: (rocking back and forth) think happy thoughts…think happy thoughts…happy bunny! In Marshmallow Land! Weee! They're skipping on patches of flowers with happy little butterflies…weeeeeee….weeeeee…weeeee…

Sae: She's even crazier than I am…and that's saying something…-.-;

Yae: The poor child

Mio: You sure she's okay?

Kira: Probably

Mayu: Probably!

Kira: Anyways, from White Mage 12, Sae gets a submachine gun!

Sae: Jackpot! All these weapons! All I need is some grenades and nuclear weapons, made in North Korea of course! Heheheheheheheheheh!

Mutsuki: oh shit, nobody better not send her those…

Cagalli: (somewhat stable) Itsuki…weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…you get a pair of weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Itsuki: A pair of what? Hopefully it's a pair of sneakers! I've been walking barefoot ever since we got here!

Kira: No…it's a pair of high heels

Everyone else except Itsuki: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAA!

Itsuki: WHAT THE HELL! Do you people think I SWING THAT WAY! FUCK NO! If I were gay, I'd be doing this! (kisses Mutsuki) But did I do that? NO I DIN'N-wait a sec, what the hell did I just do? O.O

Everyone: O.O

Mutsuki: O.O (hair turned completely white)

Chitose: (twitching on the floor)

Mafuyu: (drools)

Miku: The hell's wrong with you! (slaps Mafuyu silly)

Good 48 Hours Later

Itsuki: (Holding up his Hajime Saito replica) That NEVER happened (glares at everyone)

Everyone: (nods) O.O

Mutsuki: (weeping on the ground) Why! Why must I suffer so? And my sexy jet-black hair turned fucking white! NO! I look like a fucking old man now!

Itsuki: …you look like me now…

Mutsuki: …WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (sobs)

Chitose: Poor onii-chan!

Kirie: You just confessed you looked like an old man Itsuki

Itsuki: Does Itsuki have to choke a bitch today?

Sae: You mean like how you killed him (points to Mutsuki) and how she (points to Mio) killed her? (points to Mayu)

Mutsuki, Mio and Mayu: (crying a river)

Mafuyu: Awww poor baby! Do you want Mafuyu onii-chan to comfort you?

Mutsuki: FUCK NO!

Mafuyu: Awww! I could have help you feel better

Everyone else: O.O

Cagalli: Err…anyways…we have two gifts to Itsuki from Eleena-chan! And it's…holy shit…

Kira: What is it? (looks) …(tosses the entire bag to Itsuki)

Itsuki: Hmm? (looks) …WHAT THE HELL! Shackles and Chains for bondage purposes!

Mafuyu: (gets major nose bleed)

Yae: Oh my…

Ryozo: If you don't want it, I'll take it! I can use it to good use (looks at Yae)

Kirie: Hey! I want it too! (looks at Mafuyu)

Ryozo: Oh really? Come and get it bitch!

Kirie: (attacks Ryozo)

Yae: Do it for the children dear!

Miku: WHAT! What could your sexual pleasures benefit us!

Mafuyu: Me not having to screw Kirie! WIN GRAMPS!

Itsuki: I never said Imma share these

Mio: Where the hell were you thinking of doing with it?

Mayu: It better not involve your brother, it's disgusting!

Itsuki: Well, I was thinking of melting it and making an iron statue of a toenail

Sae: OMGWTFBBQ?

Kira: Err…from SyberiaWinx, Sae gets a Gameboy Advance!

Sae: I always wanted that! …there's no game with it! Only the Gameboy!

Miku: I doubt there's any batter in there either…(throws her CD player at Ryozo) (mumbles) Perverted old man…

Cagalli: Mayu get a Super Soaker!

Mayu: What am I gonna do with a water gun when there's no water and it's freezing COLD here?

Mio: You can always throw it at people!

Kira: And everyone gets whole case of Serge! Which is filled with sugar!

Chitose: Yay! I was really thirsty! (chugs)

Everyone: (chugs)

About an hour later

Everyone: (on sugar high) (acts like they're high on peyote)

Miku: (doing the "worm" dance)

Mio and Mayu: (singing the Sailormoon theme song in Czechoslovakian)

Sae: (laughing like chaotic self) (skipping on patches of dead flowers)

Kira: Err…from girlygrrl, Mafuyu gets…a collection of guy porn pics! WTF

Mafuyu: Weeeeeee! Purdy pictures! Weeeeee! OoOooO! Incest! YAY! (obviously out of it)

Chitose: (scratching her ass while acting like a monkey)

Cagalli: Umm…(looks away from Chitose) Itsuki, you get a Barbie doll wearing lingerie? O.o;

Itsuki: (takes the doll)

Barbie: You're pretty!

Itsuki: Really? Tee hee! You're really nice!

Barbie: You're my bestest friend!

Itsuki: You're making me blush! (smiles)

Barbie: You're nice!

Itsuki: (giggles like a retarded school girl on crack)

Kira and Cagalli: O.O (backs away)

Kira: Is that all! Can we LEAVE! (desperate to get away)

Cagalli: Only one batch and it's over! Eheheh…(nervous rather than relieved)

Kira: Okay…(calms himself) from freya-dark-chi, Itsuki gets a satin, red heart pillow with frilly white lace and...a strawberry flavored condom! THIS ISN'T RATED M FOR MATURE YOU KNOW!

Itsuki: YAY! A pillow! What's this? (eyes the condom and sniffs it) Smells nice (has a stupid look on his face)

Kirie: (somehow has her hair in 10 ponytails) (sings I'm A Little Tea Pot)

Yae and Ryozo: (going all Titanic on the stairs...you know that scene on the cover of the VHS/DVD? The one some stupid ass actually tried and fell off the ship and died somewhere? Yea…that one)

Cagalli: And freya-dark-chi's friend gives Mutsuki a…a…(hair turned white)

Kira: What is it?

Cagalli: A size small pink thong bikini…

Kira: O.O;

Mutsuki: YAY! New underwear! (puts it on without complaining since he's not himself…like the rest of them) I feel pretty!

Itsuki: Yay! Onii-chan's pretty!

Chitose: Yay!

Barbie: You're pretty!

Tachibana Family: (Dances in a circle) (giggles like crazy)

Cagalli: OMG…he actually looks good in it…

Kira: (cries) I WANT MY MOMMY!

Cagalli: Our mom's dead dumb ass!

Kira: I WANT MY ADOPTED MOTHER! AAAAAAAHH! ATHRUN HELP ME!

Cagalli: What're you calling out for my boyfriend for! You're supposed to call out for your girl friend you two-timing jerk!

Kira: (points to bags) There's more!

Cagalli: Great…From Chitose Tachibana-

Chitose: Did someone call me? O.o;

Cagalli: -Miku gets Sora+Riku stuff

Miku: YAY! Me like Kingdom Hearts! DAMN YOU SUARE ENIX! Weee!

Kira: …Mafuyu gets a tutu!

Mafuyu: Yay! A pretty little dress! (changes into the tutu) (twirls like a princess)

Kira: And (blushes) breast implants for Yae…

Yae: O.O I've wanted that for like ever! (gets bigger boobs meaning a B cup since her boobs were hella flat like Miku's boobs)

Mio: AHAHAHAHA! You look normal now!

Mayu: AHAHAHAHA! What are we laughing about?

Kira: Ryozo gets a car?

Ryozo: (too busy looking at Yae's boobs) (drools)

Cagalli: …ewww…

Kira: Can he even drive?

Cagalli: Err…I don't think so. I think he died before he got the chance to get a license

Kira: Oh well. Mutsuki and Itsuki both gets Hajime Saito replicas

Itsuki: O.O MUWAHAHAHAHA! (now has 2 swords) I AM INVINCIBLE! BOW DOWN BEFORE ME YOU BITCHES! AHAHAHAHA!

Barbie: You're so brave!

Mutsuki: (stares at his new sword) (pokes Kirie's butt)

Kirie: OW!

Mutsuki: (giggles like a school girl)

Cagalli: Mayu and Mio gets matching black and silver kimonos

Mayu: I look so pretty!

Mio: Yay! Let's dance!

Mio and Mayu: (dances)

Kira: Kirie gets a love potion!

Kirie: (stares at Mafuyu) eheheeheh….muwahahahahahahahaa

Cagalli: (sweat drops) Sae gets a camera! And by camera, the one that doesn't hurt you when you take pictures camera for dead people!

Sae: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (takes pictures of everyone)

Kira: And Cihtose gets a puppy!

Chitose: YAY! A puppy!

Kira: WE CAN GO HOME NOW!

Cagalli: And never come back!

Kira and Cagalli: (cries tear of pure joy) (disappears)

Good few more hours later

Everyone: (gets to their senses) What happened? O.o;

Mutsuki: WHY THE HELL AM I IN A BIKINI!

Itsuki: Aniki…you actually look good in it…O.O

Miku: I…have to agree on that…

Mafuyu: (drools)

Mutsuki: Stop looking at me you pervert -.-

Sae: Lemme dress you up in pretty dresses when we get back! (smiles)

Mutsuki: (tries to take off his pink bikini) O.O IT WON'T COME OFF!

Kirie: Maybe you're fat?

Chitose: He's not fat! He can fit into my clothes

Kirie: Then you're fat

Chitose: (sniff)

Ryozo: Why was he in Chitose's clothes in the first place?

Mutsuki: Err…

Mafuyu: I know how you feel! I used to wear Miku's clothes all the time!

Miku: YOU WHAT! SO THAT'S WHY ALL MY SKIRTS WERE RIPPED!

Mio: Don't you think we should get some shut eye or something? We can't stay at this dirty old lobby all the time you know

Kirie: There are lot of rooms though I'm not sure if they're all even open…

KBM: (pops out of nowhere) hiya! (looks at Mutsuki)(drools)

Mutsuki: -.-;

Chitose: You're here again

KBM: Got a problem biatch? (clearly PMSing)

Chitose: Err…no…

KBM: Good! Listen up maggots! I got the keys to the rooms since all the rooms in this apartments are closed off due to Konami being a bitch about renting this town again. So! You're all staying at the Blue Creek Apartments next door!

Ryozo: Okay, let's leave this dump then (about to leave through the door)

KBM: Hold it old fart!

Ryozo: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

KBM: (throws a random baseball at Ryozo's you-know-where)

Ryozo: O.O (twitching on the ground with pain)

Yae: Honey Cakes! (kneel next to Ryozo)

Miku: Geesh, it's not like he got shot in the chest of anything…hmmm…gives me an idea…

KBM: I don't got no key to the apartment you ya'll have to jump from the fire escape on the second floor

Everyone else besides Ryozo on the ground: WHAT!

KBM: Up you go!

Second Floor Hallway

KBM: Okay, here's the fire escape (kicks it open) you people jump to the next building and you'll be safe unless the Pyramid Head's there

Mayu: The wha?

Sae: (skips like a school girl) Great joy! I love Pyramid Head!

KBM: Here are the keys (gives them to Kirie) there's only 5 rooms open so figure out your own rooms.

Everyone: (silent)

KBM: Well? Hop on to it! (kicks Mafuyu through the fire escape)

Mafuyu: WHY ME? (crashes into the wall of the room in Blue Creek Apartments)

KBM: Who else wanna get kicked?

Everyone: O.O

KBM: Good. I'm off to Arizona, bye! If I dun come back, think that I died or something

Everyone: Okay…

Rooms:

Mio and Mayu: 105

Sae and Kirie: 203

Itsuki and Mutsuki and Chitose: 208

Ryozo and Mafuyu: 209

Yae and Miku: 109

Room 203

Sae: Why are WE in this crappy room with the fire escape?

Kirie: (mimics Miku's voice) "Because if anything smart enough to come through the fire escape, it'll get us first and we'll be able to fight it off" Bastards

Sae: Oh great joy! And they call themselves MEN? Damn! The toilet's clogged!

Kirie: I wonder what my Mafuyu-fuyu's doing?

Sae: Mafuyu-fuyu?

Room 105

Mio: At least it's cleaner than that dump Sae has for a room

Mayu: O.O The lobby…

Mio: Yea?

Mayu: It's locked…

Mio: Well duh! That's why we risked our youthful lives jumping the frigging fire escape for some crappy room to sleep in

Mayu: O.O We can't get out…there's no way out…

Mio: We can always go out the way we came in dum dum! Go to sleep already

Mayu: …I have a bad feeling…and I need to take a dump…

Room 209

Ryozo: Yae! (bangs on the ground)

Room 109