Disclaimer: If I owned Transformers, this would be on TV instead of here.

The green Autobot strode through the lobby, confident that he was in the right building. It did, after all, meet all the criteria set forth by the nice 'bot he had asked at the gate of the city. Of course, the nice 'bot had also pointed out that to sign up with the army, he needn't go any farther than the front desk, and he'd passed that already, not even bothering to glance at it for more than a second. Even though he'd come all this way specifically for the reason of joining the Autobot army, the green Autobot figured it could wait a little longer while he found out how much farther he could go before he was stopped. No one had stopped him as he went through the lobby, and no one stopped him as he boarded an elevator. He pressed the button for the second highest floor and stood patiently as the elevator began to move. A few floors up it stopped and an older Autobot got on. As the elevator resumed its upward climb, the older Autobot inspected the younger one, who was doing a very good job of pretending to ignore the elder's stare.

Eventually, the senior of the pair said, "I don't recall ever seeing you around before."

"Well, I've never seen you before, either, so I suppose we're even," the younger replied in a calm and slightly jovial manner.

The elder nodded. "Hmm. Yes. Quite." Silence then settled over the elevator until a few floors later, the elder 'bot departed.

The rest of the elevator ride up was quite uneventful for the green Autobot, and he got to the second highest floor unhindered. He left the elevator and looked about the hall he'd stepped into, finding himself appalled by the apparent lack of security. Looking back on this moment much later, the green Autobot realized that had been quite ridiculous of him, as he was in the headquarters of the Autobot army. At the moment, though, the green Autobot set out down the hall, occasionally looking at the doors on the sides, but finding none that interested him. None, that is, until he came upon a door that was guarded. He approached the door, doing his very best to give off an official, confident, and almost pompous air.

"Out of my way, soldier," the green Autobot ordered, gesturing widely in a manner he thought befitting of an Autobot of the rank he was attempting to imitate.

The guard did not move, but looked at the poseur doubtfully and said, "Why should I?"

"Why, because I ordered you to," the bulky, green 'bot said, sounding as though he'd been asked the dumbest question in the world. "Honestly, you should know better than to question the orders of your superiors!"

The guard, however, was not going to give in that easily and asked, "Why do you want in here?"

"I need to check on it, of course!" the green Autobot said, feigning an air of impatience.

The guard's doubt of the larger 'bot's authority seemed to falter a bit at this, but he continued to ask him questions with, "You know what's in this room?"

"Of course I do!" the bulky transformer replied, doing his best to sound insulted.

"What is it, then?" the guard insisted.

Without missing a beat, the faker replied, "I can't tell you that, it's top secret information!"

The guard fell silent for a moment and the green Autobot inferred from the look on his face that the guard was just as in the dark about what he was guarding as the green Autobot was himself. Finally, the guard said, "Well, I suppose you seem to be oka-"The guard stopped short as a large, ominous shadow fell across the pair. The guard quickly saluted and stammered out, "He-he-hell-llo, s-s-sir!" The green Autobot, however, simply gawked up at the huge mass staring disapprovingly down at him, his guise completely blown. The huge mass took no apparent notice of the quaking guard, but rather seemed to be concentrating its undoubtedly colossal might into glaring angrily at the green 'bot, as though trying to crush him into a small box with his gaze. The green Autobot had the suspicious feeling that it was succeeding in a way. The mass rumbled a bit, and then spoke.

"What are you doing?" it asked, in a thunderous voice quite befitting of its intimidating size.

"Well, sir, I- you see, he-"the guard started to explain, but the huge mass cut him off.

"Not you. Him," it said briefly, staring down at the green Autobot, who was contemplating running, but decided against it on the grounds that the huge mass would probably crush him before he got very far. "Well?" it rumbled.

The green Autobot, although of no small size himself, found himself so thoroughly terrified by the huge mass that he couldn't bring himself to lie to it, and thus ended up meekly saying, "I was trying to get in there," and pointing to the door the guard was in front of.

"And why were you trying to do that?" The huge mass sounded quite agitated, and all the potential dangers of what he had been doing struck the green Autobot like a very large brick.

He couldn't bring himself to look the huge mass if the face as he quietly replied, "I wanted to see what's in there. I was curious to see why it was guarded."

The guard quickly interrupted, I'm so sorry, sir! I almost let him in! I jeopardized our security! I should've-"Once again, the huge mass cut him off.

"You needn't worry about it. He didn't get in, and when you get right down to it, that's all that really matters. Just, try to do better next time," it said, waving one of its arms around a little. Then it glared down upon the green Autobot menacingly and said, "As for you... You come with me. Now." It grabbed firmly a hold of his arm and half-dragged, half-led him away.

Once they were a fair distance way from the guard the huge mass began to introduce itself to its helpless captive. "My name is Beistand," it said. "I'm second-in-command of the Autobot army. It isn't the most pleasant of jobs, but it pays well enough. And there's certainly never a dull moment, even in our own base, it seems."

Rather than replying to this, the green Autobot said, "Quite pulling me!"

"Then keep up, kid!" Beistand ordered.

"How'd you know I'm a kid?" the green Autobot questioned.

"You just told me," the massive second-in-command answered. His captive stopped for a moment, apparently shocked by this. Beistand yanked him forward, and he resumed walking. "I've introduced myself to you, now it's your turn, kid. What's your name?"

Now that the green Autobot knew the huge mass's name, it suddenly became much less terrifying, and he had regained his ability to lie. He promptly did so by saying, "My name's Teaspoon!"

Beistand looked at his captive doubtfully and asked, "Teaspoon?"

The green 'bot nodded solidly and said, "Teaspoon."

"Alright, then..." Beistand said slowly. "Teaspoon..."

The green Autobot stared at Beistand for a moment, but when nothing further was said, he exclaimed, "I can't believe you fell for that! My name's not Teaspoon!"

"Tough luck, kid. I'm gonna call you Teaspoon from now on anyway. However, Teaspoon, I'm going to need your real name so I can fill out the necessary forms."

The green Autobot was silent for a moment, then quietly asked, "Are you going to arrest me?"

"I might, if you don't quite avoiding my questions. This is the 3rd time now I've had to ask what your name is."

By this point, they had reached a door and the green Autobot waited patiently while Beistand fiddled with a code, and when the door opened Beistand gestured him inside into a rather cozy little office. Beistand sat behind a desk and gestured to the younger 'bot to take a seat. He did. The second-in-command leaned over in his chair, resting his elbows on the desk and shot the green 'bot a questioning look, although he didn't say a word. The green Autobot sighed then said, "My name's Scavenger."

"Alright then, where are you from, Teaspoon?"

"Bit Town, it's a really little place near the border."

"Near the border, hmm? I figured as much. You're the right size for someone from that area. Are you a member of the army?"

"No, sir, that's why I came to Autobot City, I wanted to join up with the army."

"You are aware that you could've done that at the front desk, right?"

"Yes, sir, but I wanted to see how far I could get on bluffing."

"Quite frankly, Teaspoon," Beistand said, "I'm glad you did that."

"Did I hear you right, sir?"

"Year, I think you did, Teaspoon."

"I'm confused, sir!" Scavenger said.

"Let me put it to you straight. You're going to become a spy, Teaspoon."

"A spy?" Scavenger asked.

"Yes, a spy. What you did was quite possibly the single most superb bluff I've ever witnessed, and trust me, I've seen some pretty amazing bluffs."

"It couldn't have been THAT good."

"Well, it wasn't, but you still lack training and refinement. What you did, you did on talent and talent alone, and that, THAT is pretty dang impressive." Scavenger didn't say anything to this, but he did seem slightly embarrassed by the unexpected praise. Beistand rose from his chair and said, "Come on, Teaspoon, we need to register you and what not."

"Yes, sir!" Scavenger said eagerly, getting out of his own seat. "I just have one question, sir."

"What is it?"

"What was behind that door, anyway?"

Beistand smiled warmly at the green Autobot as he said, "It was a trap, for any Decepticon spies that might be in the building. This isn't exactly what I was hoping for, but, y'know what? I can't say that I'm not pleased with the results."

Scavenger felt out of place, a feeling that he terribly despised. He knew that his large, brightly colored frame stuck out like a sore thumb in the academy full of small, intelligent types with dark color schemes quite uncharacteristic of their Autobot allegiance. His new schoolmates seemed very aware of this fact as well, and Scavenger felt like every optic on the entire campus was focused on him and how different he was. Suddenly, a loud voice, disproportional in size to its small owner, called out for everyone to get into a line for a roll call. There was utter chaos for a few seconds, and then everyone settled into a large line. A few quick glances to the left and right confirmed Scavenger's fear that he was the tallest student in the academy. After that, he stubbornly stared forward as a small dark blue and purple 'bot started the roll call. For about the first half of the roll, Scavenger didn't really pay any attention to it, but rather allowed his mind to wander across a great variety of subjects. His thoughts returned to him as the roll call neared where his name should be. The green Autobot listened patiently to the list of names that meant nothing to him and replies until it occurred to him that the name "Scavenger" hadn't been called. A sense of panic flooded all his thoughts, although he stubbornly refused to allow it to gain any physical manifestation, and remained perfectly still. He reviewed everything that had gotten him there in his mind, trying to detect where an error could have possibly been made.

Then the dark blue and purple 'bot called the name "Teaspoon."

Scavenger cursed.

Loudly.

Scavenger had felt that nearly every optic on campus was focused on him before. Now he was fairly certain they all were now. It was all terribly embarrassing. The dark blue and purple 'bot turned to a large, bright yellow one whose entrance Scavenger had not noticed and said, "I believe you have a student, Treadbolt. I fear you may actually be forced to earn your keep for once."

"Oh, goody," Treadbolt said in a very deadpan manner. "Not the best first impression is it?"

"Oh, certainly not!" the smaller of the pair replied.

"Are you sure he's to be my student?"

"For goodness' sake, Treadbolt, look at him! The size, the color scheme, the cursing. What other choices are there?"

"Slaggit, you've got a point. Well, c'mon, uhh... what's your name again?"

"Scavenger," the youth said flatly, apparently unimpressed by the 'bot who was to be teaching him.

"I haven't got a 'Scavenger' on my list," the small 'bot said.

"That's because Beistand's a smart-aleck," Scavenger replied irately.

"I always thought it was very good that our second-in-command has a sense of humor," Treadbolt said.

"Excuse me, sir, but what about the rest of us?" asked one of the other students, Scavenger couldn't tell which one.

"Hmm? Oh, right. You two go away and get acquainted and such. I'll deal with you later, I'm a bit busy right now," the small 'bot idly waved the two oddballs away as he resumed his roll call.

Treadbolt led Scavenger away and asked why he was listed as "Teaspoon" on the roll. Scavenger remained silent, and it was possibly the smartest thing he'd said all week.

AF: Teaspoon... :D

Scavenger: -.-