Title: The Potion
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers, etc: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me, no money is being made, etc. Also, this story was based on an idea from Sai du Chickens, also known as pockettheroach.
Ron walked into the dungeons and peered around. "No one here," he mumbled. "Better go."
"Mister Weasley," said a voice from within the darkness. "Why are you here?"
"Er- I- Sn- Professor Snape?" Ron stumbled over his words.
Snape swooped into the light. "What is it, Weasley?"
"Well, sir, I... er, Madam Pomfrey, as I'm sure yo-you know, went out of town. So here I am."
"That tells me nothing, Weasley."
"I need a potion." Ron's neck and ears were red.
"What potion?" Snape asked. "If you cannot make it, which limits you greatly, as your potion making abilities are nil, you should not have any need to take it."
Ron's ears were redder than ever. "Well, I, it's- I can't- Madam- Sir! I, it's just..."
"Spit it out, Weasley!"
"Contraceptive potion!" Ron's face had turned an all new shade of red. His eyes were wide and he was sweating slightly.
Snape grinned, though not showing any teeth. "Well, well, well. So you and Miss Granger have decided to take the next step and cannot contain yourselves for one week until Madam Pomfrey returns."
"It's not the first time!"
"I don't think I wanted to know that," Snape said, putting a hand to his temple.
Then just get me the potion."
"Don't speak to me that way!"
Ron took a step backward. "S-sorry. I just want to have sex and make my girlfriend happy and make her scream and-"
"Whoa!" Snape said, losing his cool completely for a moment. "Stop right there."
"Can I just have the potion?" Ron asked. "Then I'll leave you alone."
"Contraceptive potion is not something I happen to keep on hand." Snape's voice was calm, silky, and frightening once again.
"Not getting any?" Ron muttered before he could stop himself.
Snape very clearly heard him and swelled with rage. However, the only thing he said was "It takes twenty eight days to brew one dose, you know."
"Twenty eight days," Ron repeated.
"In the meantime..." Snape reached into a drawer and pulled out a strip of condoms. He thrusted them at Ron. "Do it like the Muggles - and I - do."
Ron dropped them.
"I'm sure," he continued, "that Miss Granger knows how to use them."
Ron forgot his shock and it was replaces with indignation. "Now, just what are you implying?"
"That she's simply a know-it-all."
"Oh."
"Now go."
Ron picked up the condoms and fled from the dungeons.
Snape smirked and went back to his room.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers, etc: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me, no money is being made, etc. Also, this story was based on an idea from Sai du Chickens, also known as pockettheroach.
Ron walked into the dungeons and peered around. "No one here," he mumbled. "Better go."
"Mister Weasley," said a voice from within the darkness. "Why are you here?"
"Er- I- Sn- Professor Snape?" Ron stumbled over his words.
Snape swooped into the light. "What is it, Weasley?"
"Well, sir, I... er, Madam Pomfrey, as I'm sure yo-you know, went out of town. So here I am."
"That tells me nothing, Weasley."
"I need a potion." Ron's neck and ears were red.
"What potion?" Snape asked. "If you cannot make it, which limits you greatly, as your potion making abilities are nil, you should not have any need to take it."
Ron's ears were redder than ever. "Well, I, it's- I can't- Madam- Sir! I, it's just..."
"Spit it out, Weasley!"
"Contraceptive potion!" Ron's face had turned an all new shade of red. His eyes were wide and he was sweating slightly.
Snape grinned, though not showing any teeth. "Well, well, well. So you and Miss Granger have decided to take the next step and cannot contain yourselves for one week until Madam Pomfrey returns."
"It's not the first time!"
"I don't think I wanted to know that," Snape said, putting a hand to his temple.
Then just get me the potion."
"Don't speak to me that way!"
Ron took a step backward. "S-sorry. I just want to have sex and make my girlfriend happy and make her scream and-"
"Whoa!" Snape said, losing his cool completely for a moment. "Stop right there."
"Can I just have the potion?" Ron asked. "Then I'll leave you alone."
"Contraceptive potion is not something I happen to keep on hand." Snape's voice was calm, silky, and frightening once again.
"Not getting any?" Ron muttered before he could stop himself.
Snape very clearly heard him and swelled with rage. However, the only thing he said was "It takes twenty eight days to brew one dose, you know."
"Twenty eight days," Ron repeated.
"In the meantime..." Snape reached into a drawer and pulled out a strip of condoms. He thrusted them at Ron. "Do it like the Muggles - and I - do."
Ron dropped them.
"I'm sure," he continued, "that Miss Granger knows how to use them."
Ron forgot his shock and it was replaces with indignation. "Now, just what are you implying?"
"That she's simply a know-it-all."
"Oh."
"Now go."
Ron picked up the condoms and fled from the dungeons.
Snape smirked and went back to his room.