"It's a-commin'! It's a-commin'!" Screamed Cecilia, who was currently delivering Simon's illegitimate child.
Martin didn't hear her. He had fainted. Cecilia had only recently informed that the child was not his, but Simon's. Martin had always had a sneaking suspicion that a girl couldn't get pregnant if you kissed her in baseball pants, but he couldn't have been sure. He was out with the flu during sex ed, and wasn't good for much more than standing around in futile attempts to be hot.
Martin began to wake up.
"Is she done with the whole baby thing yet," he weakly asked the doctor who was trying not to laugh at his stupidity.
"No," she replied shortly. Martin fainted yet again.
Little did they know, but, thirty-two thousand feet above them was a plane. In the plane was Simon, who was coming home to see the birth of his little bastard son.
"Passengers," said the pilot, "We are beginning descent and...HOLY WILDEBEASTS WITH LICE!" He shouted into the intercom. "WE'VE GOT A GAS LEAK! JUMP! JUMP FOR YOUR LIVES!" Unfortunately for him, it was too late. "Boom!" went the plane. "Pop!" went Simon.
Back in the delivery room, Cecilia watched in terror as the plane's engine crashed through the ceiling, smushing Martin into something that resembled a pancake that fell into a bathtub.
"My...hair!" Cecilia cried in agony. "It's all mused! I HATE it when dying people ruin my hair." She flopped to her side, dead as a doornail.
Her son jumped right on out.
"Forget them," He said in an annoyed tone. "I'm outta' here!" He turned to the doctor. "Mommy?"
"Sure," she replied.
Martin didn't hear her. He had fainted. Cecilia had only recently informed that the child was not his, but Simon's. Martin had always had a sneaking suspicion that a girl couldn't get pregnant if you kissed her in baseball pants, but he couldn't have been sure. He was out with the flu during sex ed, and wasn't good for much more than standing around in futile attempts to be hot.
Martin began to wake up.
"Is she done with the whole baby thing yet," he weakly asked the doctor who was trying not to laugh at his stupidity.
"No," she replied shortly. Martin fainted yet again.
Little did they know, but, thirty-two thousand feet above them was a plane. In the plane was Simon, who was coming home to see the birth of his little bastard son.
"Passengers," said the pilot, "We are beginning descent and...HOLY WILDEBEASTS WITH LICE!" He shouted into the intercom. "WE'VE GOT A GAS LEAK! JUMP! JUMP FOR YOUR LIVES!" Unfortunately for him, it was too late. "Boom!" went the plane. "Pop!" went Simon.
Back in the delivery room, Cecilia watched in terror as the plane's engine crashed through the ceiling, smushing Martin into something that resembled a pancake that fell into a bathtub.
"My...hair!" Cecilia cried in agony. "It's all mused! I HATE it when dying people ruin my hair." She flopped to her side, dead as a doornail.
Her son jumped right on out.
"Forget them," He said in an annoyed tone. "I'm outta' here!" He turned to the doctor. "Mommy?"
"Sure," she replied.