All I'll Ever Be
By Cherished Dreams
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Hermione watched them, a fake smile on her face. Ron sat next to her watching them too, but he didn't miss the soft sigh that passed from his best friend's lips. He frowned at her with a sideward glance, but returned his gaze on the couple dancing slowly to the soft love song playing. Ron was not dense. He knew that Hermione was unhappy. However, it was not always like this. Back when the three were in Hogwarts, her face would smile and glow, showing off a happiness that was contagious. She was breaking up inside again, just watching Harry and his new girlfriend. She always closed up whenever Harry introduced them to a new face, his new girlfriend.
She loved him.
Hermione, no matter how much she detested the girl Harry brought home, always remembered her manners and never lashed out to anyone. She kept herself cooped up her office at the ministry, and tried to make sure that she always had work whenever Harry would invite Ron and herself to dinner or outing of some sort to meet his girlfriend. But she couldn't keep avoiding them, so occasionally she would let Ron drag her out of her office to meet with them.
Ron worried about her. Once, when he had apparated into her apartment, he found her sobbing hysterically on her beautiful sofa. He stayed with her that whole afternoon. He had called Ginny to look after her all though the night, to make sure that she was alright. She had scared him so badly that day. He had never seen her break down before, and he had sworn that he would never see it again.
He slipped his fingers in hers and smiled softly. Her head snapped up and looked at their hands before smiling wearily at him. She squeezed them carefully and let go, before they both stood to bid their farewell to Harry and his girlfriend who had returned to their table just seconds before. As soon as they had apparated into Hermione's apartment, he was greeted with an unexpected embrace from her. She held him tightly, and he knew that she was trying to keep back the tears.
Hermione sighed deeply into her best friend's chest and tightened her grip on him. They stood there and many moments later, she pulled away. She looked up at the concerned look on his face and smiled wobbly. They never needed words to express how much their friendship meant to one another, they just simply.. knew. "Hot chocolate?" He nodded before making his way to her fireplace and starting a fire. Hermione concentrated before being able to conjure up two mugs of hot chocolate, one in her moving picture mug, the other in Ron's favorite Quidditch mug.
They sat down together on the soft sheep's wool rug in front of the fire. They sat there slowly sipping their drinks and gazing into the fire as they had before back in Hogwarts.
"Ron?"
"Hmm..?" he said looking up from his gaze on the marshmallow floating in his hot chocolate.
"..Have I told you why I hate it when Harry gets a new girlfriend?"
He turned back to the marshmallow and sipped it up from his drink before replying, "..Besides the fact that you love him.. No." He turned to her and smiled, the annoyed look on her face meant that she was slowly becoming herself again, which pleased him immensely. She turned back to the fire and sat there quietly. Ron, being the person that he was, thought that she wanted him to guess.
"Is it because.." he paused, thinking of a reason, "..he never treats us when he brings us out to eat?" That had earned him a small tug at the corner of her lips. She shook her head.
"Err.. okay. Maybe its because.. he.. always seems to annoy us endlessly with his consistent blabber about his current 'one'?" A tiny smile appeared on her face and she once again shook her head.
He frowned and thought about the possibilities. Hermione could practically imagine the light bulb above her best friend's head as he exclaimed, "AH HA..! I got it!" She turned her head to look at him with a questioning look on her face. The look on his face was somewhat serious and the smile on his lips was soft.
"Is it because you're not the one he chooses?" he said quietly.
Hermione knew her face looked shocked because he immediately looked into the fire. She placed her mug on the coffee table and laid her head down on his lap. He stroked her auburn curls and waited. She watched the fire's flames dance gracefully in her fireplace, looking miserable.
"..Its.. partly that Ron but.." She paused and weighted the words that were in her mind.
"..Its also because, I find that.. the girls he usually chooses want him for his fame. His name." She sighed deeply before continuing. "..They think that they know him from what they hear from the newspapers and their friends." He nodded agreeing with her.
"..They weren't with him in the final battle, standing next to him as he took him down.. they don't know how unhappy he felt before.. they don't know him. They probably think that he's their prince in shining armor, the Harry Potter they know from the news.." She placed her hand on top of Ron's free one.
"..But Hermione.. doesn't it matter that he's happy now?" Ron asked. She inhaled quickly, somewhat surprised at how much Ron had grown.
"It does Ron. It matters a lot.. that's why I haven't told him about.. this.. About how much I love him. Sometimes I wonder why he lets himself get caught up in finding 'that person he loves most'.." She flashed Ron a quick grin before getting up and jogging up towards the kitchen. She sat back down next to him with a tub of chocolate rocky road ice cream and two spoons. He smiled at her gratefully and took a spoon.
"You know why he goes out to find the one he loves most." She sighed into the spoon in her mouth and nodded softly. "I know. I know. It just hurts me to see him hurt after what he thinks was a love-filled relationship."
He scooped up some ice cream and let it melt in his mouth before talking. "Why are we eating ice cream in the middle of winter? Doesn't this seem.. ironic?" He looked at her questioningly, slightly amused. She giggled sweetly before they both burst out in laughter.
They composed themselves after a few moments and started eating the ice cream again. ".. Ron?"
"..hmm?"
"He asked me before.. why I didn't love anyone.." He blinked before asking, "..What did you say?" She thought of her reply before smiling bitterly. "..I told him.. that I did love someone.." A tear escaped her eye, and he handed her his hanky. She looked at it and he assured her that it was clean. "..I love someone.. but that someone I love is searching for the person he loves.." She looked at him and grinned. "..He told me to tell the one I loved.."
Hermione's eyebrows creased slightly. "..Why don't you have that special someone Ron?"
Ron grinned, but replied, his tone serious, "..Because.. as I live longer on this Earth.. I come to find many people suffering from love.. I know that this is weird but.. I suppose technically I am one of those people.. I don't want to get hurt even more.."
"..Smart git.." He laughed out loud and they returned at looking at the fire. The ice cream had long been eaten and the remainder of their hot chocolate was cold. Ron stroked Hermione's hair, her head in his lap. She breaths were deep and Ron knew that she had fallen asleep. He smiled softly and moved gently as to not wake her up and slid his arms under her frail figure. He walked towards her bedroom, turned on the lamp beside her bed and gently placed her down.
After removing her pink bunny slippers, tucking her in and grinning at her childishness, he moved to turn off the light but stopped as his eyes noticed the pad paper there. "All I'll ever be is someone in the sidelines waiting for you until you finally notice that I've been by your side all along." He smiled sadly and made his way out to the living room. Just as he was closing the door he whispered softly, "You summed up my feelings for you just as you did yours."
A/N: tell me how shocked you are.. and how evil I am.. XD