Ok well it seems the muse bunnies are hoppin again, imagine that! Anyway this is probably one of the more angst things I'm going to write. I've come to realize I abuse Duo a lot, but you know you enjoy it! Most of this will be in Duo's POV but other than that it will be 3rd person. This is a 1X2X5 and 3X4 story with some 1X5X?

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't even bother pretending to.

Everything I Wanted

Chapter 1: My Happy Ending

Lets talk this over, It's not like were dead.

Was it something you did? Was it something I said?

Don't leave me hanging, in a city so dead,

Held up so high on such a breakable thread.

You were all the things I thought I knew, and I thought we could be...

There's always those certain little clues, the ones that tell you something big is going to happen, something you're probably not going to enjoy. The little things like how they start staying later at the office every night, to the point where they're to tired to even hug you when they come home, or how 2 day missions turn to two weeks. That's when I really start to worry. I never thought I'd find myself in this situation, suddenly doubting myself and them; maybe it's all in my head, maybe not.

I don't want to doubt them, I love Heero and Wufei to the point it hurts, when their not here I stop eating and Quatre is forced to trick me into eating, I can tell I'm worrying him too. I can't help it; I'm one of those people that if I fall, I fall hard. It didn't use to be this way, during the war we were happy, so in love that we couldn't be separated for more than a day. But then the war ended, they went to work for the preventers. I can't fit in there; I won't even pretend to try; besides uniforms aren't my thing. Now I might be regretting that decision, at least I could be with them at work.

So I sit here waiting for them to come home, their only 3 hours late. I'm not too worried...yet. Quatre and Trowa are in the kitchen talking, or doing something else I'm not quite sure. The door creaks open and my 2 lovers walk in. Joy fills me at the sight of them, I jump off the couch and run towards them.

"Wufei! Heero!" I cry as I wrap them in a bear hug, they seem tense, but I dismiss it, after all they just got off work. Reaching up I kiss Heero fully on the lips, their cold and uninviting. I pull back startled; no matter how tired they are they usually at least smiled and gave me a kiss when they got home. It was like an alarm going off in my head, yup something was wrong. And then the fatal words no one wants to hear fell from Wufei's lips.

"Duo we need to talk."

The fear coiled inside me like a snake, reading to strike and deliver the fateful poison that would end my life. Slowly I sank back onto the couch and stared as they sat on the couch across from me.

"What is it?" The words sounded scared, my throat felt dry.

"Duo, me and Heero..." Wufei looked away. "I mean Heero and I...don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore." It was like Armageddon on the last day of earth. The roaring filled my ears. Figures, the guy who talks so much about justice can't even look me in the eye as he breaks my heart and scatters it into the wind. It makes me sick. Now Heero is talking, I guess it looks like I'm paying attention but because he's looking at me. I can't hear a word he says over the fog that's entered my mind but at least he has the guts to look me in the eye.

"You guys are dumping me?" I asked trying to fight off the fog; if I give in I think I'll faint. "Both of you? Why?"

You were everything, everything that I wanted......

"We don't love you anymore." Heero stated it like he was giving a weather report. "Your childish, you sit around all day doing nothing, and you're annoying." I'll give Heero credit, when he wants to break something off he does it cleanly. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach, why does this always happen to me, is Shinigami really not allowed to love? But something doesn't add up for me, why now, who changed and for what reason.

I hear the door swing open behind me and I assume its Quatre and Trowa coming to say hello, great flippin timing. I gasp and the sound of dishes breaking makes me turn my head. Quatre is behind me, Trowa is holding him and both are staring off to my right. I turn some more to see what has them so captivated and freeze.

The T.V. which I had neglected to turn off earlier is now showing the nightly news. And there in almost real life is a tape of Relena leaning over to kiss Heero, then turning the other way to kiss Wufei. I banner across the bottom reads "Foreign Minister and her two lovers enjoy a vacation in Jamaica 1 month ago". The same time Heero and Wufei had disappeared on there two week assignment. The pieces click together like a puzzle, the late nights, the long trips, and the womanly smell. How could I have missed it?

I turned wide eyes to them, at least they have the decency to look away, how nice their feeling ashamed now.

"How could you?" They didn't answer. "How the fuck could you?!" I guess I'm screaming at them now, my throat hurts but I'm past caring. Tears prick my eyes but I refuse to cry, I won't cry for them. "I loved you...I fucking LOVED you!!!" The words are streaming out like acid, and can't stop it nor do I care to try. The pain inside was tearing me a part; I wanted relief, anything to make it stop.

"Quatre!" I turn to see Trowa holding Quatre limply in his arms. He raises worried pleading eyes to me. Yeah I get the message, my emotion are too much, their hurting Quatre. I turn and race up to my room, grab a duffle bag out of the closet and start cramming stuff into it. I couldn't stay here, it would hurt too much. Zipping the bag I turn to look at the room one last time, I had so many good memories here. I start to head down the stairs but stop when I hear voices downstairs, sounds like Trowa and Heero.

I don't want to be here; turning back I head toward the window and silently jump down. I'm sad that I have to leave Trowa and Quatre, but they would understand, I'll message them later. I start running; maybe if I run fast enough I won't have to think about it. Sometimes I wish I could be the wind, free to fly wherever I please. But no, instead I'm Shinigami. The God of Death that will continuously lose everything I love. They don't love me... My knees gave out in the middle of running and I fall hard on to my hands and knees.

The images won't stop circling in my mind, them kissing her...it's making me dizzy. I can't be with them anymore, I can never go back. That makes me want to laugh, why can't I hold on to what I love? First Solo, then the church, and now Heero and Wufei. For once I want to see the justice he talks about so much. I guess I started laughing, because suddenly I was laughing so much I was crying, the laughing came first right?

The emotions were building up inside, needing a larger relief, this was the same feeling I had when the church burned down. I threw my head back and just screamed.

4 months later

It always sucks when you lose something very important to you. You go through all sorts of stages, first its trying to kill yourself. I didn't do to well with that one, I've never believed killing yourself was the answer, that was more HIS thing anyway. Notice how I won't say his name, that's part of it. Second is trying to kill the people who wronged you. That's not much my thing either, yeah Relena's a bitch but she's one lucky bitch, she must be pretty special. I guess the main reason is I don't want to hurt them. Yes even though it happened I still love them. Funny isn't it? They hate me so much but I can't stop myself form loving them.

There's the third thing, denial. I tried to deny that I even loved them, and that hurt because I knew it was a lie. And more than anyone else I never want to lie to myself. So then was the stage a moving on. It took a long time; I didn't want to do anything. But now I'm happy to say that I have a stable job, I work on engines for boats and cars at this shop on the coast. In my free time I volunteer at the orphanage in town as well as the animal shelter. I also bought a cat. I've always wanted one, his name is Bast and he's an Abyssinian.

We live in a condo with its own private beach, expensive? Hell yeah but that's what those hacking skills are for. I had to change my name; it hurt too much when people called me Duo, so I changed it. I'm now called Ryo. And it's safe to say I'm happy, as happy as you can expect at least. I still miss them, especially at night, but that's what Bast is for, he's very protective. I never did message Quatre and Trowa, I wonder if they think I'm dead. I see them on the news a lot, Quatre being a gazillioniare and all. I also see them...actually I've made it a habit to keep track of them. I guess part of me can't let go, but another part of me wants to make sure their happy, even if I'm not.

Its July now, I had just gotten home from playing with the kids on the beach. I flopped on the couch and flipped on the T.V. The news anchor was doing a story about the new baby tiger at the zoo when he was handed a sheet of paper form someone off screen.

"Breaking News coming in folks. Someone has made an attempt on Foreign Minister Darlain. Early this morning she was almost gunned down during her speech at the Children's Games in Greece. Preventers are still looking for suspects but one name has been named. Duo Maxwell, terrorist age 18, he's about 5'8 with a long brown braid and amethyst eyes. Anyone that sees this person should report to their local authorities at once. Be warned he is armed and Dangerous." I picture flashed across the screen, obviously cut out of a bigger picture. The can he was holding slid out of Duo's limp fingers and he stared at the picture of himself on the screen. He knew the whole picture; before it was cut it was of him and Heero, hugging while Wufei snuck up behind them. I copy of that picture sat on his table not 3 feet away.

"What the Fuck?!"

Tada chapter one done! Lots of sadness for Duo, but I promise things will work out in the end, I don't write death fics or ones with bad endings so please review and keep an eye out for it!

By the way all chapters will be song titles. This one was "My Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne.