Listen carefully I shall say zis only vonce -

Disclaimer: I do not own or have anything to do with these characters, my sole purpose in life is to manipulate them into slashy sex scenes. I also don't own any coffee shops, pity really.

The Ten Commandments of Potter

Chapter 1 What the Fuck Happened?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why the fuck is there someone in my bed? Where the fuck are my fucking glasses? Hang on this isn't even my fucking room, so who the fuck are you? I bet that I'm fucking late, and I bet that my fucking friends didn't even notice, again. Fuckity fuck." Harry sat up wildly and looked around as he tried to place where he was.

"Harry calm down." Draco looked fondly at Harry and smiled.

"Wait I know that fucking voice, holy fuck, wait a minute why the fuck am I not at Hogwarts?" Draco shook his head gently and smiled as Harry continued to look around the room, he squinted at the wardrobe and door, then he peered at Draco.

"Harry," Draco tried to reason. He put a hand on Harry's shoulder, which Harry shrugged off.

"Don't fucking call me that." Harry moved away from Draco and refused to look at him.

"Harry, we were drunk." Draco wrapped the bed sheet around him as he stood up, and walked around the bed to face Harry.

"Well obviously." Harry had caught on what was happening and he waited expectantly for Draco to explain.

"We were drunk because we graduated yesterday, and we had a wild party at the Three Broomsticks – it lasted until 3am. This is one of their rooms." Draco replied, he had realised what Harry was up to but he didn't say a word as he sat down on the bed next to him.

"Oh, now can you give me my glasses please?" Harry asked groggily, as his hand swept across the bedside table, mere inches from knocking over an expensive looking table lamp.

"Only if you kiss me." Draco pouted and his hands reached out to pull Harry closer to him.

"Fine, but I have morning breath." Harry murmured an instance before they kissed. They parted, Harry's lips slightly pinker than before.

"And I love you too. Now how about we have a shower and then go and see the solici-wizard." Draco stood up and observed Harry, aware that he would be confused.

"Shower first and then you can explain, ok?" Draco nodded as he dragged Harry into the pokey en-suite bathroom. It looked like it hadn't been cleaned thoroughly in many years, but neither noticed as they were focussed on each other.

"Sure." They stepped under the stream of hot water and proceeded to soap each other up. A few hands straying every now and then.

"You know, I think you could be the last one on the Potter Prize List." Harry said thoughtfully as he rinsed his hair.

"Oh, and why's that then – am I the love of your life or something?" Draco asked jokingly with a grin on his face.

"You better be joking." Harry mock replied, he would've growled but the shampoo would've got into his mouth.

"Aw you know me too well." Draco smiled, and kissed Harry briefly, the soap mingling with saliva on each of their lips.

"I have known you properly for 12 days now, and you will be the last because you are Mr Right." Harry mumbled as he rubbed soap and shampoo out of his eyes.

"How cute." Draco said ducking Harry's fist that had tried to knock him on the head with a bar of soap.

Harry and Draco stepped into an old building, a very old building, they found themselves in a large reception, with mouldy chairs around the walls and a woman at a desk sat in the middle of the back wall. She had her hair done in a tight bun and she looked quite severe, Harry walked slowly up to her expecting her to be horrible. He was wrong.

"Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy junior, how can I help you this morning?" The receptionist asked sweetly.

"We would like to see Mr Blair please." Draco replied just as sweetly.

"Certainly, he has a window in 10 minutes. Could you wait over there please and I will send you through when it is time." The receptionist had a small name tag on her desk, that lay hidden behind a pen tidy which was full of acid green pens. It read: 'Rena Skater' in small black letters, under the company logo.

"So what exactly does this Mr Blair do?" Harry whispered to Draco, who jumped slightly.

"He is a solici-wizard, it's just the wizard form of a muggle solicitor. They deal with all the same kinds of things but they are better trained. Mr Blair for example was the old muggle Prime Minister until he was chucked out of office to be replaced by that Gordon Brown wanker. His time in office meant that he could get any job he liked in the wizarding world." Draco whispered back, they had taken two of the least mouldy looking chairs, even though they were a questionable shade of yellowy-brown.

"You mean I'm going to meet Tony Blair? And he's a wizard?" Harry mumbled excitedly.

"Yes, but don't mention the whole PM thing he might get agitated." Draco remained calm but had no idea why Harry would want to meet the man after he hadn't been the best Prime Minister ever.

"Whatever Draco. I take it that you have met him before?" Harry's eyes were wide and he was sat forward on his seat, as if he would sink into a low bow when Tony came into the room.

"With my-Lucius, he had some business. Don't worry Mr Blair is a good solici-wizard, although he is not as good as Mr Bush." Draco pulled Harry slightly back, so that he leant on the chair, and didn't look so eager.

"Let me guess the old American President?" Harry asked sarcastically.

"No the manager of this company silly." Draco hit Harry playfully on the shoulder, Harry retaliated by pouting and mock sulking.

"I can't keep up with current affairs." Harry muttered to himself.

"Mr Blair is ready to see you now." The receptionist called from her perch behind the desk, as Harry looked closer he could have sworn that it was Rita Skeeter in disguise.

"Good morning boys, how may I help you today young Draco?" Tony asked with a beaming smile.

"I am here as Mr Potter's moral support actually." Draco admitted with a small smile.

"The Harry Potter?" Tony's eyes grew wide as he looked around to Harry in shock.

"Now that I didn't expect. The ex-Prime Minister has heard of me?" Harry remained as calm as he could as he regained his composure.

"Yes, you see Fettes in Edinburgh is actually a small offshoot of Hogwarts, but in a city landscape. It is not as good as Hogwarts of course. Now how can I help you Mr Potter?" Tony asked, he appeared to be willing to do anything for the pair.

"Call me Harry, I would like to know whether I can have access to my parents house, in Godric's Hollow." Harry stated calmly, even though he was quite nervous.

"I will need to do some digging to find their wills but yes I think that it should all be in order as you are the sole heir. I'll ask Rena to put a search on it for me, our receptionist." He added as the boys looked at each other confused.

"So how long will it take to locate their wills?" Harry asked gently, while squeezing Draco's hand tightly.

"About an hour, we have to locate it and then bring it here to be read. Then we are allowed to explain it to our client, you in this case Harry." Tony sent the message through to Rena and looked up to see an excited Harry.

"That soon? Thank you. We'll go out for a coffee and be back in an hour, see you then Tony." The pair stood up and smiled.

"In an hour Harry, Draco." Tony shook both of their hands before he sat back down.

"Right Draco, which coffee shop do you want to go to?" Harry asked calmly as they stood on the steps of the solici-wizards building.

"That one, with the Gryffindor colours." Draco pointed roughly across the street.

"Costa? Starbucks is much better and has Slytherin colours. Honestly you must be getting soft in your old age, I knew a Draco once that wouldn't have even looked at a place with the Gryffindor colours." Harry looked at Draco and smiled, he wondered how he had ended up with the Slytherin after only ten days, but he put it down to his deep Gryffindor passion. He also marvelled at the change that Draco had gone through and although he was confused he was glad of it.

"I've changed, now where's this Starbucks?" Draco asked, excited at the prospect of a muggle coffee shop having his own houses colours.

"And that's why I love you." Harry said as he walked off to the left, leaving Draco jogging to catch up.

An hour later they were back in the solici-wizards building, hoping that the procedure would be fairly simple.

"Tony, have you found my parents wills?" Harry asked, he was on edge now, since he knew he would see the wills soon.

"Oh yes, that was the easy part. I believe that a certain Minerva McGonagall had them, with instructions that they were to be given to you on your 18th birthday next month."

"Bet that was bloody Dumbledore, stupid old prick." Harry continued to mumble under his breath until Draco shook his arm.

"Harry, remember to respect the dead." Draco was shot one of Harry's finest death glares that made him think he should have just stayed quiet.

"Anyway these are the wills and they quite clearly state that all possessions, land and monies are to be transferred to Harry's name on his 17th birthday – the 31st July of last year." Tony passed the parchment to Harry and pointed at the relevant paragraph.

"That's brilliant then, wait there has to be a catch." Harry asked as he saw the look on Tony's face.

"Yes but only a small one, Godric's Hollow is a small predominantly muggle village although it is rumoured to be named after Godric Gryffindor. There are several wizards and witches that live there and that would dearly love to see you living in the old Potter house but many of them would not approve of Mr Malfoy here living there. They may not even approve of your friendship. They are after all the hoity-toity purebloods that Draco used to be surrounded by." Tony smiled gravely and waited.

"Then they will just have to like it or lump it then." Draco commented.

"If they are old wizarding families then they should know by now that Draco has changed sides, also that he has been added to Voldemorts 'to kill' list. In fact anyone who has a child at Hogwarts should know." Harry was even angrier now, and it wasn't helped by Draco.

"Yes Harry but we..." Draco tried in vain.

"No, if they don't like it then they can deal with me directly. They will have to learn that I can make my own choices now, whether they like it or not." Harry slammed his fist on the desk and a bolt of magic broke free from his protective barrier and made a hole in the wall through to reception.

"I'm sorry about that, we'll fix it before we go. Harry has more power than most and he is still trying to control it when he feels strongly about something." Draco tried to reassure Tony but he still sat with his jaw on the floor, Draco just waved his wand and fixed the hole.

"I'm sorry I just get worked up, now are there forms for me to sign?" Harry took a few calming breaths and then waited for Tony to catch up.

"I don't think so, I just have to tap this and this and it's all yours." Tony seemed to recover quite quickly.

"Good, are there any keys or things that I should know about?" Harry couldn't wait to go and see the place where his parents had lived and died, and where Harry himself had had a lucky escape.

"Everything you need to know is in the wills, here you are. Good luck with your new house." Tony said as he opened the door and let them into reception where Rena still resembled a fish as he mouth opened and closed in quick succession. "Also you may have a few ghostly visitors to the house if you rebuild it, have fun anyway boys and don't get too carried away. I'm sure I'll see you sometime, bye." Tony waved at them as he saw them head towards the apparition spot.

"Bye." Harry and Draco said as they apparated back to their room in the Three Broomsticks. When they got back they looked over the papers just to make sure what Harry would be getting and what he should do about the house.