Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel. I'll have someone's head for this!

(An: Yes, I have succumbed to the madness. .:cackles:. S'anyway, I'm always open to suggestion, because I have no plot beyond the first four or five chappies, savvy? Expect some of the same but lots more randomness, cause I'm better at this now!)

As in all of my humor fics, the X-men were bored. Ever since the prof' had pulled the plug on the band, they hadn't had much to do but more of the same. (Y'know, bashing villains, angsting about their sucky lives, that old plot-device.) After all, I'd like to see someone top Apocalypse. And they didn't even have that many enemies anymore. Just the Brotherhood, considering that the Acolytes were now part of the X-men.

The only interesting thing they'd been doing lately were Logan's training sessions, and that was just sad.

So there they were, just sitting in the common room, nothing better to do.

"Dude, this is boring," said Bobby. (He always get first dibs on talking in my humor fics. It's a little agreement we have, savvy?)

=20 MINUTES LATER=

Kurt groaned and banged his head on the wall. "There-is-nothing-to-do!"

"That's telling it," said Jean dryly.

"Oh, like, shut up Jean. He's like, totally right, anyway," said Kitty.

Jean growled and her eyes glowed firey. "You can't talk to me that way! For I am the Pheonix! Fire incarnate and substance of all that is..er, burny!"

"Did someone say fire?" asked Pyro.

"NO!" shouted everyone but Pyro and Jean.

"Jean," said Scott, tapping her on the shoulder. "Jean! It's not that story arc yet. Come back!"

"It's not?"

"No, they were going to cover that, but-"

"Ssh!", cautioned Kurt. "If you say anything you aren't supposed to, the author will duct-tape your mouth shut and lock you in her basement! There are rats in their! Big, dead ones!" (An: .:insert evil laughter:. Doom on you! Doom on you!)

Meanwhile, all the spark had gone out of Jean. "Usually when I pull that no one can take their eyes off me. Hmmph. This is no fun." She went back to her normal self.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Look at us! We're so bored, we'll settle for pullin' out tha dumbest, sappiest plot-device for a bit of action!"

Scott stood up. "She's right! Who wants to do some DR time?" He stood on top of the coffee table, went into "leader mode", and began to to lecture everyone.

"Grrr," said Tabitha. (Yes, I have decided to drag her into the X-band. I think she's cool!) "Shut up Shades." She kicked his legs out from underneath him.

Scott fell, landing on his butt. The coffee table couldn't take such an assault. It broke into a million shards of woody goodness."Ooooh the pain.. Medic?"

Jean, who had been muttering to herself about a way to get more people to pay attention to her, noticed her man was in trouble. "Oh, Scott!" She sprang into action, making Scott as comfortable as possible. At least, as comfortable as someone can be with wood splinters the size of Gambit's bo staff wedged up his ass.

"What Ah meant was that..," she stood up, "Ah say we restart the X-band!"'

Scott and Jean gasped. "B-b-but, the professor said we had to stop!", said Scott, who tried to stand up. His pupils dilated as several of the splinters got wedged in deeper. "Mother.." He fell back down.

"Whatevah Scott," said Rogue with a shrug. "It's eitha this or we start vigilantian' again." ('Member "Walk on the Wild Side?" 'Tis one of me fav eps. And no, I have no idea how to spell that.)

"Er...," said Scott and Jean in unison, looking at each other uneasily. They decided to go with the lesser of two evils.

"All right," said Scott, "We won't tell the professor. You guys have to take the rap if he finds out though."

"YES!", said everyone else.

(So that was the first chappy. Much better then the first chappy of the original, no?)