Blowing up by zeilfanaat.

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, except for N. and Mum Evers. They are my creations, and any further family related to the Evers' will be mine too. Please ask if you want to use them in any of your stories.

A/N: I started writing this fic when I was really angry, and I felt like exploding. Unfortunately my best friend is on holiday, so I couldn't talk to her. Which meant I had to find a different way of getting rid of this anger. So here it is. If people go out of character, it's because of my mood.

A/N2: OK, well, I'm in a whole better mood now. Just want to say you'll be meeting someone you might have already come across if you read my other Thunderbird story "Unwanted Sacrifice". But this fic takes place before that one, and gives another introduction to this person.

Chapter 1:

"Go Away!!"

Everyone on the island looked up, hearing a familiar voice in a very unfamiliar tone.

Jeff stood up, walking toward the room the voice came from. Just outside the room he stood still and listened again, just in case he was wrong. He heard some mumbling and then the same voice again.

"No! I'm just... argh."

Jeff chose this moment to walk in.

"What's going on in here?"

The two young men who were facing each other, looked up at their father.

"I was just asking him something." One pointed to the other, "and then he got mad."

Jeff looked over at his other son. "Why did you get mad?"

The man shrugged, keeping silent, not looking at his father.

Jeff looked back. "Do you know why?"

"No, honestly, I only asked whether he was all right. You know, he hasn't been himself these days."

"How would you know? You don't see me that often, do you. So how would you know when I'm myself?" The second started getting red again.

"See what I mean?" the first asked his father. Jeff nodded, looking at the second again.

"John. Gordon is right you know. You don't usually react like this. So what's going on here?"

John shrugged again, then walked towards the window.

"Nothing. Could you please leave me alone?"

Jeff thought he heard something strange in his son's voice, but wasn't sure what it meant. Gordon did though, and he knew what to do.

"Let's go Father, we'll leave him for now."

Jeff looked at John's back for another moment, then met Gordon's eyes and nodded.

"I'll be in my room if you want to talk John." He said. Gordon gently pushed him away and closed the door behind him. Outside the door Jeff turned towards Gordon.

"What's going on?"

Gordon sighed. John had been on the island for four days now. The first day he was his usual calm and gentle character, but the next day he had started acting weird.

Actually, it was after the mail arrived. There must have been something in the letter he got that upset him.

"Gordon?"

Gordon shook himself mentally awake.

"Sorry Father. I was thinking. John has started acting strange since he received that letter three days ago. I think it might have something to do with that."

Jeff shook his head. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it... but then, he had. He had noticed that John didn't say a word during any meal, except today during lunch, when he asked for the bread to be passed. That had been an explosion. Scott hadn't heard him, because he was talking to Virgil, so he had asked what John was saying. Then John blew up, saying that he wasn't in the mood for games and whether he could just pass the bread.

Under normal circumstances John would have just asked again.

Scott had been so surprised that he hadn't been able to move, so John stood up, muttering something under his breath while walking to the other side of the table to get a piece of bread. Lunch had been awkwardly quiet after that. John had left the table first, the rest of the family in state of shock. Slowly they had also left the kitchen to do whatever they had been planning to do that afternoon. Except for Gordon. He had gone to John's room.

And what he saw there... His brother who was away most of the time, either doing his shift on Thunderbird 5 or going to Tracy Industries to keep things rolling when their father didn't have the time for it, this brother was sitting on his bed, back towards the door, his shoulders moving up and down as if he was crying.

"John?"

Silence

"John."

"Go away Gordon." John said softly.

"John, something is bothering you. Want to talk about it?"

"No, just go."

"Please John, what's wrong? You know you can't keep going like this. You have to talk to someone sometime."

Silence again. Gordon stood in front of the bed now, almost in front of John.

"Please."

John surprised him by shouting: "Go Away!"

For a moment Gordon didn't know what to say. Then he said:

"John! You have been cranky for, what is it, three days now. Something is bothering you. Tell me what it is!"

John jumped up and stood up, looking Gordon straight in the eyes.

"No! I'm just... argh."

That's when Jeff had walked in.

Now Gordon and Jeff stood in the hall way, in front of John's door.

"Do you have any idea who the letter was from? Or what it was saying?" Jeff asked.

"No, Virgil was the one who picked up the mail from the mail box on the mainland though. He might have seen something like a name or an address. I'll go and ask."

"Not necessary." Virgil answered, as he and Scott walked over to them, their hair still damp from the swim they had been having when they heard the shout.

"Let's have this conversation in the living room." Jeff said.

Once they had all found a seat, Jeff asked Virgil:

"Virgil, do you remember the letter John received three days ago?"

Virgil nodded. "Yes. The sender was a certain Evers, but I can't remember the initial. I remember, because I didn't know any Evers, but I hadn't really thought about it either, because we all know people the rest of us don't. Why? Scott and I heard John yell. What's happened?"

Jeff looked at Gordon to let him tell the story, since he hadn't had the whole story either.

Gordon however seemed to be in deep thought.

"Gordon?"

"Virgil, are you sure it said 'Evers' on the back of the envelope?"

Virgil nodded. "Yes, why Gordon, you know this person?"

"Well, when John was with NASA, one of his team-mates was called Evers. It could be the same person. Was the initial an 'N' by any chance?"

Virgil thought for a moment. "I guess it could be, I really can't remember. Sorry."

Scott was getting impatient.

"Well, what's this Evers' first name?"

"Nicole."

Surprised everyone in the room looked at Gordon.

"You mean to tell me, Evers is a woman?" Scott asked unbelievably.

Gordon nodded. "Not too big a surprise you know. They do allow women in space." He said with a grin.

"Why would she be sending him a letter?"

Gordon shrugged. "How would I know? All I know is that a Nicole Evers used to be one of John's colleagues, and that John has been spending some of his free days at her house, because no-one would be here at home."

"Well, something is bothering him. It must have something to do with this Nicole Evers. We can do a couple of things. One, we can leave John to it, and be prepared for when or even if he wants to talk, or two, we can confront him with this new knowledge and make him talk." Scott said.

Virgil spoke up. "Something needs to be done. We don't usually see this side of John, and something really bad must have happened to get him in this state. I'm not sure whether we can leave John to it. Usually when something happens that upsets or angers him, you can hardly see the difference. He can deal with it then, so there's no need to interfere. But now... Has anyone seen him like this before?"

Gordon and Scott shook their heads. Jeff however didn't move.

"Father?"

"I've seen him like this... once. When your mother had died." He said quietly.

The tension immediately increased. Scott looked confused.

"But Father... I can't remember that. I though that John kind of hid inside himself, like he does now when something happens."

"That's because I caught it right when it started. We talked about it for a bit, and somehow John has been able to manage his emotions like he does nowadays. This time I didn't notice it quickly enough. I should have." The last sentence he said more to himself than to anybody else. "Anyway, I agree with Virgil. Something has to be done. I'm not sure what's going to happen if we leave him to deal with it on his own."

Scott stood up. "I'll go and talk to him."

Jeff shook his head. "You know how he gets when he doesn't want to tell something. He won't, no matter what you try. You know that and I know that. That's the whole problem: We agreed we need to talk with him, but what if he doesn't want to talk about it. Whatever 'it' is."

Scott flopped back onto the couch.

"Well, what do you suggest we do then, Father?"

"I'm not sure. I won't be able to go through the wall he has built around himself. I was lucky when I caught it all those years ago. If I hadn't when I did, I'm not sure what would have happened."

"Let's give him just today, see what happens. If he stays this way, I'll go talk with him. This will give me some time to think about how to talk to him. Just don't come storming into the room if you hear John yelling again. I'll deal with it... somehow." Gordon said.

Jeff, Scott and Virgil thought for a moment, then, one by one, they nodded their agreement.

"OK, well, anyone interested in a game of volleyball?" Scott suggested, trying to lighten the mood.

As a response the other two started running towards the door.

"Hey, where are you going?" Scott yelled after them.

"Try and find John!!"

"Eh, didn't we just decide to let him try and figure out his problems on his own for today?"

Virgil and Gordon stopped running, turned around and looked at Scott incredulously.

"Scott, that doesn't mean we have to exclude him from whatever we're doing... AND... I want John on my team, because he's the best at volleyball!" Virgil said.

With that, both Gordon and Virgil started running again, this time with Scott on their heels.

"Wait for me!"

Jeff shook his head as he watched his three sons run off, in search of the fourth.

He was glad at least they could put their minds on something else.

Fifteen minutes later he looked outside and saw the four men playing volleyball. Somehow they had managed to convince John to play.

He was teamed with Virgil. Jeff smirked. He always wondered why they wanted John to be on their team. Scott was just as good as John. Together they were invincible. Well, for the rest of the family that is. Although they did manage to do quite well in the school team. Had both been in the top 5.

Maybe that was the trick. Gordon, Virgil and Alan knew that together they couldn't beat them, even if they were with the three of them against Scott and John, so they just made sure one of them teamed up with Scott and the other with John. And since John wasn't always around, they chose to play on John's team. When Alan was there, they would all three try and be on Scott's team.

Jeff smiled as he saw that John seemed to be really into the game. Although he wasn't as enthusiastic as he usually was when playing volleyball. But he only missed the shots that were impossible to get anyway, so Virgil couldn't complain.

When the game was over (and John and Virgil had won), Gordon decided he wanted a swim... and maybe a talk.

Walking over to where John put the volleyball away, he made a gesture to Scott to tell him that he didn't want Virgil and Scott around for a while. Nodding, Scott tugged at Virgil's elbow and they disappeared inside.

"Hey John, want to join me? I'm going to cool down in the swimming pool."

John looked up, and as he did so, he put up a mask to conceal the emotions his thoughts had provoked. He his brother hadn't seen it.

But Gordon knew his second oldest brother very well, and he saw the mask slip in place.

He contemplated whether this was the time to have that talk, or whether he should wait.

John made the decision for him. "Sure. Let's go."

And Gordon could do nothing else but follow.

John knew that if he would have said 'no', Gordon would have questioned him again, and John didn't want a fight again. So he agreed. He needed a fresh mind to think, because at the moment, his thoughts seemed all so confusing and contradicting.

The two siblings swam for a while, but then John climbed out.

"I'll be in my room. You continue swimming if you like." He said to his copperhead brother. Gordon was now put for a difficult decision again, because the water was very tempting, but the talk with his brother was necessary. And again John made the decision for him.

"I'll talk when I'm ready Gordon, but first I need to sort something out for myself."

Once Gordon had overcome his initial surprise, he nodded. "You know I'll be there for you."

John nodded. "Yes. Thanks Gordo."

"You're welcome John."

A/N: OK, well, I hope you've enjoyed it so far. I think I can safely say that John is my favourite character. Just in case you hadn't noticed yet.

Please review to tell me what you think of it.