"You must be the best friend anyone could have if you're honestly willing to do this for me," I said, as I sat down on the couch beside him. "Are you sure Dylan won't mind?"

Marco sighed and shook his head. "He's not really in any position to get angry with me at the moment. I mean, I guess you could say we're back together as in we're on speaking terms, but it's hardly like before."

"What happened?" I asked, trying to show concern despite the nervous feeling in my stomach.

Marco shook his head. "Don't see this as a huge favor," he said. "I'm actually kind of wondering myself."

Marco leaned in to kiss me, and this time, he wasn't the only one shaking. I felt his lips touch mine, and could tell that every ingredient for a good kiss was present. But every second, my mind screamed, "Do I like this?"

What if I ended up being straight, and he didn't? What if he was so disgusted by my kiss that things became too awkward for us to be friends? Immediately, I felt extremely selfish for asking him to do this.

Before we started, we agreed that we would kiss each other the same way we would have kissed Manny or Dylan, assuming both relationships still existed. Closing my eyes, I tried to picture that it were Manny I was kissing, instead of Marco. My mind wrapped itself around this idea so tightly that I was almost disappointed when I opened my eyes to see only my friend staring back. Marco seemed to feel the same way.

"I'm sorry," I said, taking a quick breath. "I shouldn't have asked you to do that. We already know it doesn't work between us."

"It's fine, Ellie," Marco said. "So?"

I blushed lightly, not wanting to admit what I was feeling. The best kiss I had ever shared with a boy meant nothing to me now. All because Manny got drunk at a party and made me experience the other side. "No offense," I said lightly. "But…"

My muscles tensed, and I let out a deep breath. Instinctively, I reached for my rubber band, but noticed that it was gone. Perhaps I had been feeling over-confident lately, or maybe I just forgot it. Either way, the absence of an easy escape forced me into a confession.

"It's okay if you can't say…" Marco began.

I shook my head. "Looks like we're the cutest gay couple at Degrassi," I said lamely. I cupped my head in my hands. "God, what am I going to do? I'm still completely crazy about Manny, and she's crazy about everyone. I hate the fact that she can hit on anyone she wants, and no one will care, because how could a cheerleader be gay? Me, on the other hand, if I were to act half as bad as she did, I'd get shit from everybody."

Marco nodded tensely. "You're in love with Manny, and I'm in love with Dylan. Guess we're both screwed."

I rolled my eyes. "At least Dylan still likes you."

Marco shook his head. "Why do you think I encouraged us to leave so soon after you talked to Manny?"
"Are you ever going to tell me what happened?" I asked him.

"He's decided to see other guys, but stay with me at the same time. Guess we're both screwed," he repeated.

"Oh, Marco. I'm so sorry," I said. "I guess you're right."

"Guess we'll both be shopping for new dates pretty soon," he figured. "You know, it's kind of cool that we're best friends and I like boys and you like girls."

"How is that cool? It means we'll both be alone on Saturday nights," I said dryly.

Marco shrugged. "At least then we'll have someone to call."

I nodded. "I guess so. Have you tried talking to Dylan?"

"It went about as well as you talking to Manny," he told me. "He went on and on about how his freedom's important to him, and he can't be tied down right now. So, basically, I told him that if his freedom is more important to him than our relationship, it wasn't going to work between us."

I nodded slowly, wishing Manny had at least given me the chance to forgive her. "You're really brave, Marco," I told him.

"Me?" he asked. "No. I just do what I have to do. You were the one who told me to come out with it."

"And I never would have, if I had known what it's like," I said apologetically. "I never thought you'd get attacked."

As selfish as it made me feel, I started to wonder. Would that happen to me?

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

For a while, I sort of backed off from the entire situation. Perhaps my friends weren't perfect, and neither was my life. But, as much as I fantasized about Manny, I had to realize that was all it would ever be. A fantasy, I was fortunate enough to act out, for the short period of time it had lasted. As for the bi/straight/gay issue, I neither knew, nor had any interest in further experimentation. I knew exactly why Marco had wanted to be nothing. It was so much easier than being who I was.

But as I walked into school one morning, I gained a new attachment with the situation I had put endless effort into forgetting.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned around to find Darcy, not quite looking like herself. Her usually soft, brown hair was clumped and disheveled, and her eyes were red and bloodshot, as if she had been crying.

"What do you want?" I asked slowly, trying not to vary my expression much.

"Look, I know things are weird between us right now, but can we talk?" she asked me.

I nodded. "We are now talking," I said stiffly.

She sighed, with a quick eye roll. "So…Manny took me to that gay club thing you went to, and I thought we were going to date, at least under the radar. But after that, she just sort of forgot that I existed. Never called me, never even spoke to me when I tried to talk to her. Now, apparently, she's dating Chester. It just seems weird to me that, like, he's the last guy I liked before I dated her, and now she's dating him. She talks about Paige being a bitch, but she's really no better."

I nodded, wishing I could escape this topic. "What do you want me to do about it?" As redundantly as my relationship with Manny had dragged on, Darcy leaned in and kissed me. Just as quickly, I pushed her away in shock.

"So, what?" I demanded angrily. "She stole your guy, so you're going to hit on her ex-girlfriend? I don't care if you and Manny are the only bisexual girls in school. I'm not putting up with that."

As soon as I opened my mouth, I noticed that a large crowd was gathering around us, lead by Sully and a few other, incredibly hormonal boys. "Wow, do it again!" Sully shouted.

The boys began to shout and whistle at us, and made several comments about what we should do if we ever wanted a man. Tears fought against my eyelids, but I wasn't going to let the rage within me come out in the form of defeat.

"Fuck off!" I shouted. I looked over at Darcy, who seemed to be enjoying every ounce of attention she was getting. It only served to push me further. "I don't fucking care what you say," I announced. "You're all the same. You come to Degrassi and bash gay people, but then you treat your girlfriends like shit. You hate gay guys on the off chance that they'll hit on you. I, personally, think that's a bigger insult to guys like Marco than your gay-bashing comments ever could be. I know you're all just going to walk away and call me bitter or some kind of feminazi, but I don't owe you a damn thing, and neither does any other girl out there. You go around calling girls bitches and sluts, when you do exactly what they do, and it makes you manly and powerful. Where do you get off harassing us for kissing each other, when you go around threatening anyone who's different than you, and telling girls that they have to dress like sluts to be worth anything? I guess none of that matters, because the real problem is that marriage should be between a man and a woman, isn't it?"

The boys stood silent for a moment, before they burst out laughing. Darcy actually looked insulted. "Come on, Ellie," she said, following me down the hall. "You need to lighten up."

What she didn't realize was that, I already had. By the time I reached the bathroom, the tears finally came. I was bawling over my situation, but at the same time, I knew that I was going to survive this, somehow.