The First Time

By Vixen

Fred let forth a giggle, but to her dismay it came out more nervous than playful. Fred looked across the bed at Willow. The Wicca was gentle power, like a summer storm. Complete with long red hair, pale skin, the sexy pout, she was everything Fred had imagined her first would be like. However, she was still afraid. Afraid someone would hear them, someone would find out about her.

Why had they chosen to do this at the Hyperion anyway?

Angel could probably hear them. Angelus had told her he had heard her and Gunn at night. Oh, god, she thought. What would they think of her?

Willow nosed her chin into the crook of Fred's shoulder, trying to put the girl's fear to rest. She looked at her partner, trying to see the truth in Fred's eyes, dissecting her very soul, "Are you okay with this? We don't have to.."

Fred looked back up at the ceiling, feeling suddenly very naked. It wasn't the lack of clothes, those had come off about an hour ago, during their flirting session. It had all started very innocently. Fred brought Willow up to her room to let her relax before her long trip back to Sunnydale. The witch had saved them all from Angelus and helped put Angel's soul back where it belonged. Offering a bed for the woman to sleep in for a few hours was the least Fred could do.

When it had all turned less than innocent, Fred couldn't put her finger on. They started talking, started babbling like old school friends. It was like they had known each other forever, they way they carried on. It was the love of knowledge that brought them together.

Fred had never known anyone who possessed such a thirst for the academics. Wesley had been smart, yes, but his eyes usually glazed over whenever Fred started to ramble on about the science of the real world, not that found in the supernatural world. Willow on the other hand, loved it all. The formulas, theorems, theories.. and she had told Fred, Willow thought she could learn to love her as well.

It was all moving so fast, Fred felt pushed out of control. Falling back down into another dimension, this one made of pleasure and feelings that the girl was not comfortable with, however much she loved them.

The babbling had led to touching. Gently at first, Willow tucked a tag back into Fred's shirt when she saw it was hanging out. Fred had jumped a little, the touch warm yet electrifying. Everyone knew that was the code, or some kind of sign. One Fred wasn't ready for, even though she returned the favor by rubbing Willow's shoulders. The witch kept so much tension up there. As Fred massaged it away, the tension had left her as well.

From then on, the world had spun out of control. They'd somehow managed to make it to the bed amidst their torrents of kisses. Then the clothes had come off. Shirts as first, so they could gain access to each other's chests. Willow massaged her left one, running her tongue in small circles around the girl's nipple, and Fred had cried out in a mix of pleasure and surprise.

She hadn't been with that many people in her life. Before Pylea, she had devoted her time only to studying and trying to get into the right schools. After her trip into the almost-hell dimension, Fred had found company with Wesley and Gunn, but neither of them surpassed or even came close to knowing how to please her like she witch did. She had run a theory through her head, something to do with them both having the same equipment and therefore knowing exactly how a woman should be touched. A man could never fully understand that.

Willow had moved onto the other nipple and down to her belly button, but stopped before going any further. The witch wanted to earn the kind of trust that would allow her to go further. It was things like that that made Fred like her all the more. It might someday lead to love, but she didn't know if she would let herself love this girl, or if she could. What would people say?

"You're crying," Willow touched Fred's face, smoothing her tears from her dark eyes. "We don't have to.."

"That's not the problem," Fred told her, turning her attention from the ceiling back to the girl. Feeling her heart break in two, Fred told her, "I'm just afraid, I might start to love you."

"And that would be bad?" Willow asked, kissing her neck, nuzzling into Fred like a pet that wanted attention. Fred shook her head, softly as to not throw off Willow's touch, she didn't want anything to stop them, but her fears were starting to get the better of her. The witch stopped after a moment, backing away slowly. With one hand supporting her, she changed her position until she was above Fred, looking down at her. "What are you afraid of then?"

Fred just looked away, not wanting to say it. She couldn't bare to say anything that would break the moment, not when Willow had been more than kind to her.

The witch understood though, perhaps because she had been in a similar situation once before, "It's them, isn't it? You're wondering what the others will say."

Fred nodded, letting a few more tears drop from her eyes. "I want you, I do. But what about Ang—"

"Sweetie," Willow brushes aside some of Fred's hair, "Angel's you're friend, right? Well, when he has his soul at least. Trust me, I've known him a little longer than you; he won't care if you.. and me.." Her sentence trails off, licking Fred's neck as for a demonstration. She stopped and continued her thought, "When I told him about me, he was a little shocked, yes, but we're still close."

Fred relaxed a little. Some part of her still looked up to Angel, some part of her always would. He'd saved her from the monsters after all. If he suddenly started acting differently towards her because of this, Fred would never have forgiven herself for letting it go as far as it already had. Still, there were others, "What about Wesley.. Gunn?"

Willow rested her chin against Fred's chest, looking up at her, "Wesley's got his own issues." She laughed, knowing something but not letting on to it, "I don't know Gunn as well as you do, but I'm sure if you had problems with either of them Angel could kick their asses for you."

Fred giggled, this time for real. Then she'd have all three of them fighting for her, instead of the two that usually did. There were two other people that worried her however; "My parents won't like it though. How did yours react?"

Willow didn't answer at first, which began to make Fred very nervous. Then she just shrugged, "Every family has their problems. I think the family that you make is more important that the family that made you anyway." She paused, "It's not going to be easy, I can't tell you that it will be. But I do know that I'm enjoying this, with you, right now. It's your choice whether or not we go any further."

The girl thought it all over, her parents had gotten over the fact that she worked for a vampire to fight against demons, they'd have to somehow get over this too because Fred was tired of living for other people. That night belonged to her. Nodding, she whispered to Willow, "Let's just see where this takes us."

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