Disclaimer: I own some minor details of John's life, but I do not own him, any other characters mentioned, or Guillermo del Toro's biography on him, on which this is heavily based.
AN: I'm in a piss-poor mood so what do I do? I write. My negative influence has probably made Johnny's life come across as more depressing than it was supposed to be, but I don't really give a crap.
Perfection
And for just an instant, the perfection shattered, the tears came, and John Myers realized just how much he missed them.
Thaddeus Dorca, brother of the late Diana Dorca-Myers, worked away feverishly in his shop, chomping between his teeth one of the unfiltered cigarettes that he loved so dearly. Behind him, the radio blared loudly- not a great song, but it was on a distant station he played sometimes just to prove how powerful his radio was.
The 'patient' today was a tractor from a farm down the road; the engine was completely busted and, to anyone else, in need of replacing- but not to Thad. He was a miracle worker, his customers said- the patron saint of grease monkeys. Busted car? Busted bike? Busted anything? He'll fix ya right up. And he'd need all that saintly ability today, too… not for Billy Thomson's engine, but for the person who'd be walking in the garage door any second now.
And at 5:27 exactly, three minutes earlier than Thad had expected, John Myers walked in the door floating on air. John had inherited his looks from his late mother, who had looked nothing like her brother Thad. Thad was thick all over, strong-looking, with a broad face and small, kind eyes. Diana, however, had taken after her own mother, and Johnny had after her; he was fine-boned and lanky, like most sixteen-year-olds, but was distinguishable by his high cheekbones and huge, soft eyes. Eyes that had been the reason why bachelor-for-life Thad had agreed to take him in when his parents had died. Eyes that wordlessly said everything going through his mind. Eyes that were currently wide, and staring at something Thad couldn't see.
"She said she loves me," John said simply, tossing his helmet and backpack into a dusty corner and flopping himself down onto a workbench near by. "She said she loves me," he repeated, awed and grinning.
Thad cleared his throat nervously. Moments like this were the reason he had always thought he'd leave kids and their upbringings to the rest of the world. This just wasn't his strong point. He stayed silent, waiting for John to speak again.
At last, after a few minutes of grinning like a fool to himself, he turned slowly to face his uncle and clarified, in case it had been unclear the first two times, "Uncle Thad! She says she loves me!"
"That's, um… ahem. That's great, Johnny." Thad grinned and shakily lit his cigarette. Look at you, he berated himself silently. You're just not cut out for parenthood, are you?
"I'll say!" John agreed. Good. He hadn't noticed how jumpy Thad was. Maybe he could pull this off without bringing… it up. The other reason today was a particularly harrowing day.
But John was a perceptive kid. "Something wrong?" He asked.
"No!" Thad replied, a bit too quickly perhaps. "Naw, I'm happy for ya, Johnny. Laura's a good girl."
"But…" John prompted, looking a bit suspicious now.
"No but's." Thad insisted. Normally, John wouldn't have left it at that, but today he did, and went back about his business staring into space and grinning to himself in a stupid, lovesick way.
Thad sighed with relief. Heck, he didn't need to spoil the kid's mood right then. And personally, Thad could do without saying what was on his mind just then. Both issues deserved nothing more than to be left unvoiced.
Thad went back to Billy's motor, and John lay down, stretched out on the bench, and began humming to himself, which was a bit more than Thad could take. Something kicked in- something which he tried desperately to convince himself wasn't parental instinct, even though he knew that was the word for it. Happy as the kid was, the last thing Thad wanted to see him hurt- the last- so he inhaled deeply, steeling himself for what had to be said. It was for Johnny's own good; Thad just needed to warn him, ever-so-gently, and then after that it was out of his hands.
"Do you… eh. Do you think you an' Laura might be takin' this a bit… fast?" Thad spit out at last, choosing his words as carefully as he could, which wasn't very carefully at all.
Abruptly, John stopped humming. The happy look on his face remained, but the grin had faded down to a smile. "No. We love each other."
"Yeaaah… but do you think… I dunno. Do you think you're movin' a bit quick is all I'm askin'."
John sat up slowly. "I just said. No, I don't."
"Well…" Thad visibly shifted his weight from foot to foot. "You're both so young. 'Love' is a heavy word."
John raised his eyebrows, the smile fading rapidly. "We love each other. It's… it's pretty simple."
Thad nodded, then shook his head. Then, he sat down on a bench facing Johnny. "I know. I'm just saying… I mean, I said what I think. What I mean. I just… I want you to be happy."
"I am!" John insisted immediately. "What, how old were you when you fell in love, Uncle Thad?"
"Sixteen," Thad replied instantly. Then, before John could open his mouth, he continued. "And eighteen. And nineteen. And twenty-one. And twenty-three. I mean… yer first love… she's not the one you usually marry, kid."
"My parents met at sixteen." John said slowly.
Damn!
The subject Thad had been skating around all day, from the minute Johnny stumbled in for breakfast until right now, had finally been forced into the light.Today is November 2, 1992
, a voice in the back of Thad's head whispered. November second…"Dammit," Thad muttered. Then he said in his normal voice, "Yeah, I know they were. 'snot something you forget when your baby sister gets married at seventeen."
"They were happy," John added slowly.
"I'm not saying they weren't." Thad told him. "But… things coulda turned out better for your folks if they'd waited a bit. It wasn't easy for your mom to have your brother Tommy at seventeen." He paused, thinking of how to phrase his next thought.
"What are you saying?" John asked quietly after a minute. "My parents were good, happy people."
"I know that," Thad replied.
"Then why are you telling me this?" John demanded. Thad tried not to flinch, seeing what was coming.
"You and Laura are too young to be married and move to Austria or Australia or wherever you're thinkin' of heading. That's all I'm sayin'. You've got a strong mind, Johnny, and you can really make somethin' of yourself. You're not… you're not marrying her until after college, kid."
"You can't tell me what to do."
"Damn straight I can," Thad countered, feeling his hands shake. "You're not marrying straight outta High School like most folks in this town do. You're goin' to college."
John looked up at him, completely silent. Then, after a minute or so, he said the words that Thad had been expecting- dreading- all day. "You… are not… my… father!" He shouted.
"I know I'm not," Thad shouted back. "Calm down, boy, I'm only tryin' to help!"
"Stay outta this!" John yelled suddenly, making to stand up.
"Stay outta what?" Thad demanded. Then, willfully, he made himself calm down. Johnny never raised his voice to anyone, especially not an adult. Today he got an exemption.
"Stay outta what?" Thad asked, more calmly this time. "Your relationship with Laura? Ten minutes ago you wanted to world to know. Kid… Johnny… I'm only trying to help. I know today musta been hard for you…"
"I didn't even want to wake up this morning," John growled in response. "I never do on this day."
So there it was. Completely out in the open. The subject de jour that had been overlooked, avoided, and finally kicked into light like an old farmdog.
"November second," Thad whispered. "Johnny… I lost your mother too, y'know."
John crumbled. Even after his parents were lost and presumed dead, life had still been pretty good, pretty much as close to perfect as a life could get. But once a year came the reminder of the 'real world', as Thad liked to call it. The big, real, bite-ya-in-the-ass world. And then, for just an instant, the perfection shattered, the tears came, and John Myers seemed to realize just how much he missed them.
"I… I…" he fumbled, his eyes welling with tears. "I'm sorry… I shouldn'ta…"
Clumsily, Thad stood up from his bench sat down next to John instead. Then, equally awkwardly, his nephew dropped his head against Thad's chest, shivering, and stayed there, speaking into the fabric of his uncle's shirt… fabric which Thad felt a few tears seep into.
"I'm sorry," John mumbled, his voice muffled. "Today, Laura said she loved me… and it was just hard, 'cause all I could think about… is that they won't be there for our wedding." Thad heard him choke slightly, and put his arm around his nephew's shoulders. The shaking stopped slightly, but what Johnny said next rocked Thad to his core, though he would never say so.
"I can't even remember what they look like without looking at a picture," he said quietly. "Is that… I dunno. Isn't that… just so wrong of me?"
Thad shook Johnny's elbow, in what he hoped was a comforting way, and replied gruffly, "You were only six when they… when they went missin', kiddo. That's not wrong of you at all."
"I can't believe it's been ten years," John mumbled. He sat up suddenly, without looking at Thad, and stared at the floor instead.
"Yeah… me neither." Thad whispered.
"Uncle Thad?" John said quietly.
"Yeah?
John looked over at him. All at once, his eyes looked not only sad, but slightly frightened as well. "Do you think they'll ever find them?" He sniffed, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
"Jesus, Johnny… I don't know." Thad replied, honestly. "I don't… I don't think so."
John nodded, looking utterly miserable.
Thad bit his lip, fumbling for what to say. "You an' Laura… you remind me of your parents. A lot. And I was skeptical, don't get me wrong, but your parents were happy together. There wasn't anyone else out there for either of 'em. And I think they'd be happy for you. Jesus, kid… I bet they're happy for ya now, lookin' down from some big fluffy cloud somewhere… c'mere." John had started to cry again, openly, and Thad once again swept him into a bone-crushing hug.
"Don' be sad," he said quietly. "You and Laura… you have my blessing, if you want it." he thought a moment, then added, "After you finish college."
John started shaking again, and it took Thad a minute to catch on that he was laughing. Thad eased up a bit, and John sat up, wiping his eyes and flashing a trembling, watery grin. "Thanks," he said simply. Thad nodded to show that he understood, and no more needed to be said.
Silence descended once more. Deciding to test the waters, Thad broke it.
"So… she finally told you she loves you, eh, kiddo?"
Meh. That's all. Fic-writing cheered me up minorly, I think I'll just sleep off the rest of it, so I can wake up all falsely cheery and stuff tomorrow morning. Review if you liked it.