GOOD ENOUGH
Disclaimer-This is my 1st Degrassi fanfic...and my 3rd fanfic, so be nice and please review. I do not own Degrassi, or anything dealing with it...I am from the US, how could I own something so cool?...it is owned by Canada
As I walk into homeroom I see you there, talking and laughing with your friends. The ones that would never accept me. You don't notice me. Of course you don't. I'm invisible to you, unless it's to make comments about me to entertain yourselves. I know you would never lower yourself to even talk to me, as it might hurt your precious image. If you hate me now, what would you think if I, Ellie Nash, told you that I was in love with you? What are the chances the biggest freak in Degrassi falling in love with the head cheerleader? I know its odd, but so is love. I really believe that love is blind to everything; race, gender, social status. I know you will most likely never feel the same way. I can't help that I fall in love with those that bring me pain. Of course I have always been one to like pain. You think I am a freak, a loser. I will never be enough for someone like you to be friends with. Not pretty enough, not good enough...nothing. You make me feel inferior. You don't think I hear your comments as I walk past you in the hall, but I do, and it kills me. I am an observer. I watch whats going on. I know how you act with your friends, I watch how you glow when something or someone makes you happy. It depresses me to know that that someone will never be me. Maybe one day I will put my pride aside for once and talk to you.
When I see you have accepted Ashley back into your clique, it excites me. This may be what I need; a way into the life of Paige Michalchuk. I go near you whenever I can, try to put my hand on your shoulder...horrible, I know. Standing by you makes me feel a little better about myself. When you caught me cutting one day, it was kind of what I had been hoping for a year. I wanted your attention, and I got it. I didn't mean to get it that way, but it worked. I tried acting like I didn't care about you caring about me...but I did. When you touched my arm, it was a dream come true. If only it could have been because you loved me, and not because you were pretending to care. As I fall asleep, I imagine that you are there holding me, and that everything is okay. That for once in my life, I am happy.
A week ago I called you to see if you want to hang out, no you are too busy. A few days later I called, and you didn't pick up the phone or respond to my instant messages. Yesterday I passed you a note asking for the last time, of course you were still busy. The year is comming to an end, I know you will be away all summer and I am too afraid to ask you now, I don't want to have to switch schools again. All summer I will be miserable waiting to see you again and to hear your voice. I keep playing the scene over and over in my mind of what will happen when I tell you. I am afraid I will not be able to do it.
The first day of school comes; grade eleven. I am feeling incredibly nervous and very stressed out, so i walk into the washroom looking for a place to be alone, so I can cut. There you are standing by the sink fixing your make-up. I don't know what to do. Should I make small talk? Tell you my true feelings? Maybe just take one look in the mirror and leave? So, I make a little small talk and then ask you to meet me in the basement by the elevator during lunch. You give me an odd look, but you say yes.
I wait by the elevator, knowing very well that you will never show up. Just as I reach into my bag to pull out my compass, you appear in front of me. At that moment I decide to tell you what I had been feeling for two years, then I try to leave before I could be rejected. Instead of freaking out, you stop me and pull me into a giant hug, and then hold me for what seems to be forever. In the end, maybe I am good enough.
Disclaimer-This is my 1st Degrassi fanfic...and my 3rd fanfic, so be nice and please review. I do not own Degrassi, or anything dealing with it...I am from the US, how could I own something so cool?...it is owned by Canada
As I walk into homeroom I see you there, talking and laughing with your friends. The ones that would never accept me. You don't notice me. Of course you don't. I'm invisible to you, unless it's to make comments about me to entertain yourselves. I know you would never lower yourself to even talk to me, as it might hurt your precious image. If you hate me now, what would you think if I, Ellie Nash, told you that I was in love with you? What are the chances the biggest freak in Degrassi falling in love with the head cheerleader? I know its odd, but so is love. I really believe that love is blind to everything; race, gender, social status. I know you will most likely never feel the same way. I can't help that I fall in love with those that bring me pain. Of course I have always been one to like pain. You think I am a freak, a loser. I will never be enough for someone like you to be friends with. Not pretty enough, not good enough...nothing. You make me feel inferior. You don't think I hear your comments as I walk past you in the hall, but I do, and it kills me. I am an observer. I watch whats going on. I know how you act with your friends, I watch how you glow when something or someone makes you happy. It depresses me to know that that someone will never be me. Maybe one day I will put my pride aside for once and talk to you.
When I see you have accepted Ashley back into your clique, it excites me. This may be what I need; a way into the life of Paige Michalchuk. I go near you whenever I can, try to put my hand on your shoulder...horrible, I know. Standing by you makes me feel a little better about myself. When you caught me cutting one day, it was kind of what I had been hoping for a year. I wanted your attention, and I got it. I didn't mean to get it that way, but it worked. I tried acting like I didn't care about you caring about me...but I did. When you touched my arm, it was a dream come true. If only it could have been because you loved me, and not because you were pretending to care. As I fall asleep, I imagine that you are there holding me, and that everything is okay. That for once in my life, I am happy.
A week ago I called you to see if you want to hang out, no you are too busy. A few days later I called, and you didn't pick up the phone or respond to my instant messages. Yesterday I passed you a note asking for the last time, of course you were still busy. The year is comming to an end, I know you will be away all summer and I am too afraid to ask you now, I don't want to have to switch schools again. All summer I will be miserable waiting to see you again and to hear your voice. I keep playing the scene over and over in my mind of what will happen when I tell you. I am afraid I will not be able to do it.
The first day of school comes; grade eleven. I am feeling incredibly nervous and very stressed out, so i walk into the washroom looking for a place to be alone, so I can cut. There you are standing by the sink fixing your make-up. I don't know what to do. Should I make small talk? Tell you my true feelings? Maybe just take one look in the mirror and leave? So, I make a little small talk and then ask you to meet me in the basement by the elevator during lunch. You give me an odd look, but you say yes.
I wait by the elevator, knowing very well that you will never show up. Just as I reach into my bag to pull out my compass, you appear in front of me. At that moment I decide to tell you what I had been feeling for two years, then I try to leave before I could be rejected. Instead of freaking out, you stop me and pull me into a giant hug, and then hold me for what seems to be forever. In the end, maybe I am good enough.