Title: Feeling Like We're All One
Author: Laheara
Summary: John wakens to find a couple of visitors after the events of "38
minutes". He has a long talk with Teyla after.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but that would be nice. Love Atlantis so
far so please don't sue.
John was not sleeping well, he kept waking in a sweat when he'd dream of the bug latched on to his neck and killing him. He didn't remember everything clearly but he did know that his friends had been there for him the whole time. Teyla hadn't left his side, and he could tell Ford was scared. He had even caught McKay looking at him between testing the circuits. He had made good choices with his team, all people with great potential, and all people he was getting close too.
He was glad, in a way, that Ford had interrupted him before he could say what he wanted to. At the time when he thought he was dying he wanted them all to know how much they meant to him in the short time they had been together. But now that he was going to live, he knew that he would like feel uncomfortable if they all know how he felt. Of course he knew that with the lives they all lead, if you have something to say you should say it, because you never know when someone could end up dead. But he still liked the idea that his thoughts where still his for now.
He was brought out of his thoughts by the fell of a hand closing over his. He opened his eyes and saw very worried ones looking back at him.
"Major Sheppard, are you alright?" Teyla asked him.
John smiled at her and tried to move his head to get a better look at her but his neck protested that idea. He hissed in pain but smiled again, "Yeah I'm fine. Just a bad dream."
Teyla smiled at him in the darkened room. "You do not seem to be the only one with this affliction, Major." She smiled as she looked beside his bed to the chair sitting near by.
John looked over and found young Jinto curled up with his head leaning against the back of the chair. John smiled and turned back to Teyla, "How long has he been here?"
"I am not certain. Halling informed me he was missing again, but I had a good idea where to find him so I came here. He is very fond of you Major; I believe he wished to be sure you are indeed well."
The talking in the room finally woke the boy up and he stirred. He looked around to see Teyla and John watching him. He jumped to his feet embarrassed at being caught and looked at the floor. "I am sorry, Teyla, I know I should not have left my quarters without permission but I wanted to see for myself that Major Sheppard was really alright and when I arrived he was asleep and I didn't wish wake him so I..."
Teyla raised a hand to quiet him and he looked at her worried he was in trouble, "It is alright Jinto, I understand and so does your father." Then she turned back to John and smiled as she reached her hand out and toward Jinto. "Come; see for yourself now that he is awake."
John pushed himself up into a near sitting position and smiled as Jinto slowly made his way toward them. John smiled and waved for Jinto come over. "Come here, we're not mad at you Jinto."
Jinto finally came to them and looked at John carefully and he winced slightly when he saw the bandage on the right side of Johns neck. "They said that you died. That Lt. Ford had to kill you to get the creature off, and then they had a hard time to bring you back."
John shifted a little uncomfortably when Jinto mentioned him dying. He wasn't thrilled with the plan but it was his only option and the only way to be sure that if McKay did get them back to Atlantis the creature wouldn't just grab someone else when he was dead. He trusted Ford would kill it to protect the base, and he knew if there was any way at all Beckett would bring him back. He was still pleasantly surprised when he woke up to hear machines and quiet voices nearly but and not puffy clouds and harps, or just the blackness of nothing.
Jinto and Teyla both saw the haunted expression that crossed John's face briefly and Teyla once again took his hand and Jinto put a hand on his arm. "You are safe now Major Sheppard, you will be will soon."
John shook himself out of his memories and smiled weakly for them. "Yeah I know kid; I'm going to be fine. Thanks to Teyla and the rest of my team."
Teyla smiled, "It was your plan, we merely fulfilled it for you. However I am glad you are still with us. You're death would have caused great sorrow in both my people and your own as well."
"All of the children were worried for you, and are now looking forward to your recovery so you my finish telling us the story of the man that could act a spider does. Many find this funny."
John smiled, "Yeah Spidy was one of my favorites as a kid too. We'll get back to that story real soon, I promise."
"I will tell the others. They also wish to come see you but we were told you were not yet strong enough for so many visitors."
"Well maybe I can talk the good doctor into letting you all in tomorrow night; we can have a story session here."
Teyla stepped forward and said, "I do not believe Dr. Beckett wishes you to strain yourself. The children can wait a few days."
Jinto nodded, "Yes, we will wait. We do not wish you to push yourself Major Sheppard, we wish you to be well soon, and so do I."
John smiled again, "Thanks Jinto, that means a lot."
Teyla took Jinto's hand that was resting on John arm and turned him toward her. "I believe it is past time for you to sleep. Go now, you're father will be waiting for your return."
Jinto nodded and turned back to John for a second, "Yes, Teyla, be well Major Sheppard."
"I will be, thanks. Now go to bed." John said waving him out of the room. He smiled and then left, leaving Teyla and John alone.
Teyla looked back at him and saw that keeping up a strong front for Jinto had taken a lot out of John and he needed rest. "I will as well, you need rest to heal properly. I will return in the morning with Lt. Ford and Dr. McKay. I'm sure your people have strict rules on waking a patient this last at night.
As she turned to leave John reached out and did the best he could to grab her hand with his arms still a little numb. "Teyla wait."
She stopped quickly at his touch, and turned back at his voice. She looked concerned when she stepped back to his bedside. "Is something wrong?"
John slide back down letting his head rest on the pillows again. "I'm fine, but I'm not sure nothing is wrong. You tell me?"
Teyla looked confused, "What do you mean?"
"That was the second time you referred to the rest of the Atlantis team and 'your people'. Have we done something to make you not feel welcome here? If we have I'd like to know, maybe I can do something about it."
Teyla mentally chastised herself for letting her feelings slip; she had noticed many times already that Major Sheppard was very observant. She shook her head, "No, nothing for you to be concerned with at this time."
John tightened his grip on her hand, to his surprise, "Please Teyla. Tell me what's wrong. I want to help if I can. You've been a great help to use since you and your people arrived."
Teyla sighed when she realized she wasn't getting out of this one easily. She pulled the chair that Jinto had been sitting in previously over and sat. "It is not you Major. You have been very welcoming to my people and I am honoured that you choose me for your team."
John nodded, "But...? I hear a 'but' coming."
She looked at him, "But I feel that Dr. Weir and many others here see us as a burden to you. I was told that while were trapped Halling and some of my people asked Dr. Weir to allow them to contact me for our ritual pray before death. She would not allow this, even after Halling expressed it was an important right for us." She shifted again and realized she likely sounded like she was complaining, "I do not wish to sound as if I do not appreciate you bringing us here to protect us from the Wraith, but sometimes my people feel as if your people would be happier if we left."
John pulled himself up again ignoring the pain the movements caused him. "Teyla listen to me. I know that sometimes it can seem like we don't appreciate all of you but we do. I know you didn't like it when Dr. Weir wouldn't allow your people to help defend Atlantis but she was just being careful. And as far as the others, we do want you here. You are descendants of the Ancients and that means that you are much more like us then you might think. We respect your beliefs and you're probably right that we should be more understanding of how important they are to you, but it's hard. I mean our ways are very different, your people have some to understand life and how it works. You're at peace with yourselves. That is something that people on my plant have been trying to do for centuries. We would like to be as comfortable as you are but it just... well it scares the heck out of us that we don't know what comes after we die. That fear is what drives us to fight dying in any way we can. That is why Dr. Weir wouldn't let Halling contact you, because it would be like accepting defeat to the rest of us and she didn't want to risk us giving up when there was still a chance we could still live."
Teyla listened carefully to John's explanation. "I see. It would appear that we are different but the alike in many ways. Long ago my people would also fight death but after the coming of the Wraith we learned to be at peace with it because we knew it could come at any time. We built our lives around living as much as we could while we had the chance. It is understandable that since your people do not have this constant threat our ways would grow along much different paths."
John nodded, "Yes, they would. We do want you here Teyla, we don't want you to leave, and in time we will try harder to understand your ways. It's just going to take some time for us to get used to each other."
Teyla smiled, "We will be happy to explain our ways to you when you are ready to hear them. And perhaps after learning them, your people may because more at peace with themselves, as we are."
John smiled, "Maybe we will. I have a feeling you have a lot to teach us, and we may even be able to teach you a few things."
Teyla laughed, "I'm sure you could. I hope we get the point someday where we can fell like we are all one and not two separate people." Teyla saw John was starting to drift off and turned to leave.
"Teyla."
She turned back, "Yes."
"I'm glad you're here, you've become a very good friend." He said as he drifted off to sleep.
Teyla smiled and nodded, "As have you Major Sheppard."
SO?? What do you think? This is my first Stargate Atlantis fic, but I've done SG1 before, feel free to look them up. ( I really like John, he and McKay are quickly becoming my favs in this show.
John was not sleeping well, he kept waking in a sweat when he'd dream of the bug latched on to his neck and killing him. He didn't remember everything clearly but he did know that his friends had been there for him the whole time. Teyla hadn't left his side, and he could tell Ford was scared. He had even caught McKay looking at him between testing the circuits. He had made good choices with his team, all people with great potential, and all people he was getting close too.
He was glad, in a way, that Ford had interrupted him before he could say what he wanted to. At the time when he thought he was dying he wanted them all to know how much they meant to him in the short time they had been together. But now that he was going to live, he knew that he would like feel uncomfortable if they all know how he felt. Of course he knew that with the lives they all lead, if you have something to say you should say it, because you never know when someone could end up dead. But he still liked the idea that his thoughts where still his for now.
He was brought out of his thoughts by the fell of a hand closing over his. He opened his eyes and saw very worried ones looking back at him.
"Major Sheppard, are you alright?" Teyla asked him.
John smiled at her and tried to move his head to get a better look at her but his neck protested that idea. He hissed in pain but smiled again, "Yeah I'm fine. Just a bad dream."
Teyla smiled at him in the darkened room. "You do not seem to be the only one with this affliction, Major." She smiled as she looked beside his bed to the chair sitting near by.
John looked over and found young Jinto curled up with his head leaning against the back of the chair. John smiled and turned back to Teyla, "How long has he been here?"
"I am not certain. Halling informed me he was missing again, but I had a good idea where to find him so I came here. He is very fond of you Major; I believe he wished to be sure you are indeed well."
The talking in the room finally woke the boy up and he stirred. He looked around to see Teyla and John watching him. He jumped to his feet embarrassed at being caught and looked at the floor. "I am sorry, Teyla, I know I should not have left my quarters without permission but I wanted to see for myself that Major Sheppard was really alright and when I arrived he was asleep and I didn't wish wake him so I..."
Teyla raised a hand to quiet him and he looked at her worried he was in trouble, "It is alright Jinto, I understand and so does your father." Then she turned back to John and smiled as she reached her hand out and toward Jinto. "Come; see for yourself now that he is awake."
John pushed himself up into a near sitting position and smiled as Jinto slowly made his way toward them. John smiled and waved for Jinto come over. "Come here, we're not mad at you Jinto."
Jinto finally came to them and looked at John carefully and he winced slightly when he saw the bandage on the right side of Johns neck. "They said that you died. That Lt. Ford had to kill you to get the creature off, and then they had a hard time to bring you back."
John shifted a little uncomfortably when Jinto mentioned him dying. He wasn't thrilled with the plan but it was his only option and the only way to be sure that if McKay did get them back to Atlantis the creature wouldn't just grab someone else when he was dead. He trusted Ford would kill it to protect the base, and he knew if there was any way at all Beckett would bring him back. He was still pleasantly surprised when he woke up to hear machines and quiet voices nearly but and not puffy clouds and harps, or just the blackness of nothing.
Jinto and Teyla both saw the haunted expression that crossed John's face briefly and Teyla once again took his hand and Jinto put a hand on his arm. "You are safe now Major Sheppard, you will be will soon."
John shook himself out of his memories and smiled weakly for them. "Yeah I know kid; I'm going to be fine. Thanks to Teyla and the rest of my team."
Teyla smiled, "It was your plan, we merely fulfilled it for you. However I am glad you are still with us. You're death would have caused great sorrow in both my people and your own as well."
"All of the children were worried for you, and are now looking forward to your recovery so you my finish telling us the story of the man that could act a spider does. Many find this funny."
John smiled, "Yeah Spidy was one of my favorites as a kid too. We'll get back to that story real soon, I promise."
"I will tell the others. They also wish to come see you but we were told you were not yet strong enough for so many visitors."
"Well maybe I can talk the good doctor into letting you all in tomorrow night; we can have a story session here."
Teyla stepped forward and said, "I do not believe Dr. Beckett wishes you to strain yourself. The children can wait a few days."
Jinto nodded, "Yes, we will wait. We do not wish you to push yourself Major Sheppard, we wish you to be well soon, and so do I."
John smiled again, "Thanks Jinto, that means a lot."
Teyla took Jinto's hand that was resting on John arm and turned him toward her. "I believe it is past time for you to sleep. Go now, you're father will be waiting for your return."
Jinto nodded and turned back to John for a second, "Yes, Teyla, be well Major Sheppard."
"I will be, thanks. Now go to bed." John said waving him out of the room. He smiled and then left, leaving Teyla and John alone.
Teyla looked back at him and saw that keeping up a strong front for Jinto had taken a lot out of John and he needed rest. "I will as well, you need rest to heal properly. I will return in the morning with Lt. Ford and Dr. McKay. I'm sure your people have strict rules on waking a patient this last at night.
As she turned to leave John reached out and did the best he could to grab her hand with his arms still a little numb. "Teyla wait."
She stopped quickly at his touch, and turned back at his voice. She looked concerned when she stepped back to his bedside. "Is something wrong?"
John slide back down letting his head rest on the pillows again. "I'm fine, but I'm not sure nothing is wrong. You tell me?"
Teyla looked confused, "What do you mean?"
"That was the second time you referred to the rest of the Atlantis team and 'your people'. Have we done something to make you not feel welcome here? If we have I'd like to know, maybe I can do something about it."
Teyla mentally chastised herself for letting her feelings slip; she had noticed many times already that Major Sheppard was very observant. She shook her head, "No, nothing for you to be concerned with at this time."
John tightened his grip on her hand, to his surprise, "Please Teyla. Tell me what's wrong. I want to help if I can. You've been a great help to use since you and your people arrived."
Teyla sighed when she realized she wasn't getting out of this one easily. She pulled the chair that Jinto had been sitting in previously over and sat. "It is not you Major. You have been very welcoming to my people and I am honoured that you choose me for your team."
John nodded, "But...? I hear a 'but' coming."
She looked at him, "But I feel that Dr. Weir and many others here see us as a burden to you. I was told that while were trapped Halling and some of my people asked Dr. Weir to allow them to contact me for our ritual pray before death. She would not allow this, even after Halling expressed it was an important right for us." She shifted again and realized she likely sounded like she was complaining, "I do not wish to sound as if I do not appreciate you bringing us here to protect us from the Wraith, but sometimes my people feel as if your people would be happier if we left."
John pulled himself up again ignoring the pain the movements caused him. "Teyla listen to me. I know that sometimes it can seem like we don't appreciate all of you but we do. I know you didn't like it when Dr. Weir wouldn't allow your people to help defend Atlantis but she was just being careful. And as far as the others, we do want you here. You are descendants of the Ancients and that means that you are much more like us then you might think. We respect your beliefs and you're probably right that we should be more understanding of how important they are to you, but it's hard. I mean our ways are very different, your people have some to understand life and how it works. You're at peace with yourselves. That is something that people on my plant have been trying to do for centuries. We would like to be as comfortable as you are but it just... well it scares the heck out of us that we don't know what comes after we die. That fear is what drives us to fight dying in any way we can. That is why Dr. Weir wouldn't let Halling contact you, because it would be like accepting defeat to the rest of us and she didn't want to risk us giving up when there was still a chance we could still live."
Teyla listened carefully to John's explanation. "I see. It would appear that we are different but the alike in many ways. Long ago my people would also fight death but after the coming of the Wraith we learned to be at peace with it because we knew it could come at any time. We built our lives around living as much as we could while we had the chance. It is understandable that since your people do not have this constant threat our ways would grow along much different paths."
John nodded, "Yes, they would. We do want you here Teyla, we don't want you to leave, and in time we will try harder to understand your ways. It's just going to take some time for us to get used to each other."
Teyla smiled, "We will be happy to explain our ways to you when you are ready to hear them. And perhaps after learning them, your people may because more at peace with themselves, as we are."
John smiled, "Maybe we will. I have a feeling you have a lot to teach us, and we may even be able to teach you a few things."
Teyla laughed, "I'm sure you could. I hope we get the point someday where we can fell like we are all one and not two separate people." Teyla saw John was starting to drift off and turned to leave.
"Teyla."
She turned back, "Yes."
"I'm glad you're here, you've become a very good friend." He said as he drifted off to sleep.
Teyla smiled and nodded, "As have you Major Sheppard."
SO?? What do you think? This is my first Stargate Atlantis fic, but I've done SG1 before, feel free to look them up. ( I really like John, he and McKay are quickly becoming my favs in this show.