None of it's mine. Peace and love...

She gave up missing him a while ago. It wasn't something had wanted to do, it was just eventual. Summer couldn't keep longing for something that she could never have again. And she had moved on from that particular year in her life. After a while, once her father and step mother packed up their suitcases and announced they were moving to Barbados, she had moved into the Cohens' pool house. They were her family in some weird way and she knew what it was like to be Ryan. At first, she had been hesitant to bring her problems into their lives, but they seemed to welcome someone to take care of. Their boys had all left. She reminded them of a daughter and started a new chapter in their lives. Her own too. So she had no reason to dream of the things so impossible. She had more important things in her life anyway.

He had had his kid and stayed where he was as long as possible. After a while, when he still wasn't back, Ryan had started to worry about Kirsten. There were things more important than his goddamn ego. So he had picked up his daughter from day care and told Theresa he had to go back. Jennifer Dawn was already three. Theresa had understood; she even offered to let him bring Jenn with him. So the only thing he had to be scared of was a forty eight minute car drive with a female toddler. He had spent a month back home as he liked to say, when he got a call that said Theresa had run without a note. Suddenly, taking care of Kirsten and Sandy was second to taking care of Jenn alone. The good news just kept piling in. Ryan forgot the impossible a while ago, and now dreamt of only the practical.

But he came back. Like he said he would, but only to Summer. His parents had gotten an 'I love you guys' letter 'don't worry about me.' Summer got an 'I'll be back' letter 'don't forget me.'  And he came back.

After a few too many prostitutes and kegs of beer, he had realized what rock bottom was. Seth had tried to do the whole 'get married' thing, but no girl was what he wanted. Probably because there weren't many Summers in Rontuma. He found a few Marissas, too many Hollys, but no Summers. He needed a Summer. One who knew what she wanted and wasn't afraid to tell him. Hot as hell helped too. But once he realized he wasn't going to find that, it had been three years. He couldn't just come back after three years. They wouldn't forgive him. They'd be different people.

But Fiji and Samoa and Tonga got boring fast. Especially when the only people that cared about you at all were across a whole fucking ocean. Not that they should care about him anymore. He sure as hell didn't. But he couldn't stay in the Pacific forever. He was twenty five. Twenty five year olds didn't sail away from their families for nine years. At least twenty five year olds like him. So he had to go back. He knew he would eventually, but it still scared the hell out of him.

Newport was unsurprising the same. It was at least a little comforting. When he saw his street, though, his house seemed so far away. So different. There was also the chance that his parents didn't live there anymore. So he traveled so many miles to go to the park at the end of his old street. He had shaved, showered, all of that, to sit on a swing that he hadn't seen in ten years. Suddenly his life was that much sadder.

He kicked off his shoes and pushed off from the sand. He swayed lightly back and forth as a little kid sat on the swing next to him. His eyes were green and looked dramatic next to his dark brown hair. He watched Seth roll his head to one side and hit the chain on the swing. He watched him play with the chains and roll his jeans up. After a while, Seth started watching the kid too. His eyes seemed to light up after Seth gave him notice.

"What's your name?"

"Where's your mom, kid?"

"My name isn't kid. It's Seth."

That got his attention. Seth turned his head to the kid with green eyes and scrunched up his brow.

"Yeah? You like it?"

"Not really. It's kind of sissy."

"So I've heard."

"My mom tells me it's important though. I shouldn't make fun of it."

"But the kids do at school?"

"The kids at school don't call me Seth. Only my mom and Grandmom. Not even my granddad. He says it's stupid too."

"Yeah? What do the kids at school call you?"

"Chris. It's my middle name."

"Yeah?"

He nodded and looked back into Seth's eyes. It was a little intimidating.

"So what's your name?"

"We really should find your mom."

"She's here somewhere. She said she had to go for a run, so I should stay here?"

"She ever tell you not to talk to strangers?"

He nodded again.

"But you looked sad. Are you sad?"

"Uh, a little, I guess, Seth." Damn, that was weird.

The kid shook his head.

"I told you. Only my mom and my Grandmom can call me that. I'm Chris. My mom only calls me that when she's mad anyway. But she always seems to get sad instead of mad."

"Sorry. Chris."

"It's okay. Why are you sad?"

"I miss my mom."

"Where is she?"

"I'm not sure."

"I hope you find her."

"Thanks."

"That's the reason you look so sad? You miss your mom?"

"And I guess I'm kind of lost. And I miss my girlfriend. Well, I mean, she's not my girlfriend anymore. But I miss her too."

"Is she pretty?"

Seth nodded.

"Very pretty."

"I hope you find her too."

"Thank you."

"I could help you look for her. Did she go for a run too?"

"I don't know."

"But if you like her so much, shouldn't you know where she is?"

"I sure wish I did, kid."

"Chris. We're friends now."

"Okay."

"So I should know your name if we're friends."

"It's, uh, Seth."

"No way."

"Uh, yeah. Way."

"Did your mom name you that because she loves Seth too?"

"What?"

"That's what Grandmom says. She says my mom really loved Seth and she misses him. So I should..."

"Seth Christopher. I thought I told you that you shouldn't talk to strangers."

"Hi Mom. This is my friend. He's not a stranger."

She ran up just as he realized who she was. Not that he didn't think he knew who Mom was since he had heard the kid's name. She was wearing a white tee shirt with a low V neck and gray shorts folded over a few times at the top. And she was still beautiful. Suddenly, he didn't know if he should hide his face or hug her. She didn't seem to notice at all.

"Uh, thanks, sir. I'm, uh, sorry if he was bothering you."

"His name isn't sir, Mommy. Guess what his name is!"

She sighed and pushed the hair out of her face.

"What is it, honey?"

"Seth. Just like me."

"Really? That's, uh...nice, honey. Could you go in the sandbox while I talk to him?"

"Yeah, okay. Bye, Seth."

He said the name with a huge grin on his face, and Seth gently tossed up a hand with his head still looking at the ground. The kid grinned as he ran away to the sandbox. As soon as he was out of earshot, Summer Roberts smacked his arm and stuck out her finger.

"If you laid a single finger on him, I swear I can't be held accountable for what happens to you. And believe me, sir, when I'm mad, I get mad."

"Yeah, rage blackouts, right?"

"That's r...what?"

He lifted his head to look at her and as soon as she saw his eyes, she fell to her knees, putting herself at eyelevel with him.

"Seth?"

"It's been a while, huh?"

She threw her arms around him and suddenly it felt like nothing had changed. Her small body was pressed against his like he had dreamed about for nine years. Her hair smelled the same and her arms still used the same moisturizer.

"You're-you're here. Talking to Chris. You're here."

"Uh, yeah."

"Have you-have you seen Kirsten?"

Seth shook his head. Summer nodded.

"So, you just show up and pick out my kid in a park and strike up a conversation."

"He talked to me."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't stop talking. That's not his fault. You don't-you don't just ignore him?"

"It's not my fault either."

"Cute. So why-why did you..."

"It was time."

"And why wasn't it time nine years ago?"

"I don't know. It just never worked out."

"But now you just come back."

"I don't know how back I actually am."

"So you're leaving again."

"No. Well, I mean, maybe. I just don't know where to."

"Oh."

"Mommy, see! I told you he was nice."

Summer pulled away from the hug she had been waiting nine years for to see her son's smile wider than before, walking over to the two of them.

"Uh, yeah, um, honey. But I don't want you to do this again. No more conversations with people you don't know."

"Sorry. But he's nice, right?" Chris's grin found a way to extend.

"He's nice." Summer nodded slowly.

"We should make him food. He's lost and doesn't know where his mom is."

"Yeah, um, I mean, if he wants to come back to see Sandy and Kirsten."

"You live with them?" Seth's face popped back up at the mention of his parents.

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"A while. When Neil and Lara moved out, and I really didn't feel like going with them, you know, I needed a place to stay."

Seth nodded and stood up.

"Let's do this."

Summer stood up and took Chris's hand. She glanced back at Seth and they walked down the street together. They stopped at the gate and Seth took it in. It looked exactly the same. Summer pulled open the gate and took Seth's hand too. He looked down at her small hand in his callused one and looked back up at her. She nodded and started walking up the driveway.

"So, um, wouldn't the hand thing bother your husband?"

Summer shook her head.

"I'm not married."

"Chris's father?"

She laughed gently.

"Yeah, well, I don't think they make binoculars big enough for that. He lives in...well, I'm not sure it is this week."

"Who is he? Or is that crossing the..."

"Luke."

"L-L-Luke? As in Ward?"

Summer nodded quietly as they got up to the front door.

"You slept with Luke Ward?"

"Seth! Shut. Up. Seven year old, right there."

"Luke Ward?"

"It wasn't like I wanted to."

"Oh yeah. Those kind of accidents happen all the time."

"Why do you care? How many girls did you sleep with?"

Chris was standing in between them, turning his head to whoever felt like raising their voice. Summer seemed to have forgotten he was there.

"That is not relevant. What about Marissa?"

"Marissa's married. She can get over it. Actually, she did. Because that was eight years ago."

"Oh, you waited a whole year for me. Thanks. Really, I appreciate it."

"God, Seth, you were the one who left! You were gone."

"For a year."

"A year became five and that became nine."

"You didn't know that."

"You want me to say I missed you? You want me to say I goddamn cried my eyes out every single Valentine's Day for nine years? You want me to say I still thought about you nearly a decade later? Do you want that?"

"No."

"Then, what is it, Seth? Why are you blaming me for something you did? That whole thing with Luke was a mistake that lasted a week. But even though he tours North America, he still calls. He doesn't know where he'll be sleeping that night, but he finds a way to call Chris every single Friday. You? I don't even get a fucking postcard."

"Mom! You said the f word."

Her son's voice seemed to bring Summer back into the world that surrounded her now and she knelt in front of him.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean to."

"Are you mad, Mom?"

"No. I'm not mad."

"Then why are you yelling?"

"I'm emotional, honey."

"Did Seth make you emotional, Mommy?"

"No, sweetie, it's okay."

"Can we go see Grandmom now?"

"Yeah, honey. If Seth's ready."

She looked back up at Seth who nodded. She smiled back at Chris.

"Okay, we're going, babe."

She took Chris's hand again and opened the door. Chris ran inside and into the kitchen. Summer walked in and Seth followed her. They stood in the front hall. Seth bit his lip and murmured gently into her ear, "It wasn't like I didn't want to."

She nodded. "I know."

Seth shook his head and turned her face to look at him. "You don't know half of it. You don't know how many letters I started. You don't know how many quarters shot out the Press Here For Change button thing from calls I was too afraid to dial. You don't know how I got through nine years without you."

He pulled out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans and pulled something out from one of the only pockets. He gave it to her and she looked down at it. It was a photograph from the party for Riviera magazine. They had had a photographer take pictures of everyone, and somehow Seth had gotten a copy of the one with his arms around her waist and her head on his chest. She was basically laughing and he had the biggest smile on his face.

Summer bit her lip and shook her head.

"I hate that dress. I look like Minnie Mouse."

Seth laughed and that got her to laugh too. It was real, too. He loved watching her laugh. She laughed exactly the same. Seth's head turned instantly, however, when he heard his mother's voice.

"Summer? Seth said you brought home a man..."

She looked at his face and dropped the magazine she had been holding. She threw her arms around his shoulders and pressed her face into his shirt.

"Hi, Mom."

"Oh honey, I-I-I...missed you."

"I know, Mom."

"Are you-are you back? Like, forever?"

"I don't know."

"Have you seen your father?"

"I..."

"Sandy!"

"Okay..."

Summer grinned with half her mouth and touched his hand.

"She's excited. Let her be. Her son came home."

He grinned and lightly shook his head. Summer grinned too and thought about kissing him. If it was the same, she knew she would be able to fall back in love with this guy that she had seen for a little more than half an hour. If it wasn't...she'd get to that. But Sandy stalked into the room and looked at Seth with wide eyes.

"You're my son?"

Seth ducked his head and grasped two of Summer's fingers. It was some sort of reflex, because when she looked at him, he was looking straight at his dad. Sandy looked him up and down and hugged him hard. Seth seemed to have not been expecting it, because he just held his arms out in an almost hug. As soon as he let him go, he smacked him against the side of his head.

"Don't you ever do anything close to that. Again. How can you be so stupid?"

"Sandy..." Kirsten lightly touched his arm but Sandy shook his head.

"Do you have any idea what you did to this family? Thank goodness you're safe."

"I know, Dad."

Sandy furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head before hugging Seth one more time.

"We missed you around here. You know, Summer's jokes aren't looking half bad."

Seth grinned and Summer opened her mouth in shock.

"My jokes were always funny."

Sandy nodded and clapped his hands together. "Of course. That's what I meant. I gotta go, but..." He looked back up at Seth and nodded. "It's good to see you back, son."

Seth nodded slowly to his dad and smiled weakly. Kirsten was grinning and suddenly got a thought.

"Have you seen Ryan? Oh, he'll be so happy to see you again."

"Isn't he in...Chino?"

"Oh no. He's been back for a few years."

"Oh."

Summer gently leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Don't mention Theresa. He gets even quieter than usual. It's a long story."

He nodded and took Summer's hand to go to the pool house. She shook his head.

"No, he's upstairs. In the old guestroom. He shares it with Jenn."

"Jenn?"

"His daughter."

"Oh."

"Mm-hmm. Let's go."

"Mommy?"

Summer turned around, still holding Seth's hand, and saw her son looking up with confused eyes.

"How do Grandmom and Granddad know him?"

"He's their son, honey."

Chris's eyes grew and he looked back at Seth.

"My grandmom is your lost mom? So are you, like, my uncle?"

Seth looked at Summer and she shrugged. He looked back at Chris and nodded.

"Um, yeah, I guess."

"Like Uncle Ryan?"

Summer nodded. "Like Uncle Ryan."

He seemed to accept that. "Cool."

Summer grinned and nodded again. "Very cool."

The three of them walked up the stairs and Chris took Seth's other hand. He smiled at him and Seth smiled back. Summer knocked on Ryan's door and heard a soft yell.

"Yeah?"

"Ryan, open the door."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"It's open."

Summer leaned forward and pulled the door open. Ryan was lying on his bed with a girl with light brown ringlets lying on top of him. He pulled a finger to his lips and pointed at her.

"Daddy, stop the hand moving. I'm awake."

The girl lifted her head and looked up at him. He curled his head up to look back at her.

"When did you wake up?"

"I never went to sleep."

"Yes, you did."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"I saw you."

"I was faking."

"Why?"

"Because you wanted me to sleep."

"You're so tricky. I was going to leave you alone."

"Daddy, you never leave me alone. But I'm nine. You can."

"Uh-huh. I'll think about it."

"No you won't. you just say that and then you never think about it."

"I mean to think about it."

"But you don't actually think about it."

"Sometimes I do."

"Sure."

"Is that sarcasm?"

"Maybe."

"Uh-huh."

He ticked her sides and she shrieked. He pulled her into the air and she laughed louder.

"Daddy!"

She was almost crying she was laughing so hard. Ryan was grinning and starting to laugh himself as he held her high above him. He looked back to Summer.

"What?"

She nodded to Seth standing next to her. Ryan looked at him and dropped the grin and his daughter. She fell hard on his stomach and he let out a sound that sounded like an "oof." He rolled her off of him and stood up.

"Seth, man, it's, uh...it's good to see you."

"Yeah. It's good to see you."

Ryan walked slowly over in his sweatpants and lightly thumped Seth on the back. Summer looked from boy to boy and turned to the little girl.

"Jenn, honey, let's go downstairs. Get something to eat."

"Okay. Bye Daddy."

The nine year old hugged her dad's waist and he mussed her hair without looking at her. She let Summer guide her down the stairs and into the kitchen with Chris. Ryan scratched the back of his neck and offered Seth a small smile.

"So, uh, how long have you been, you know, back?"

"Not long. An hour. Maybe two."

"Yeah?"

"That's your daughter?"

"Oh, Jenn? Yeah. She's-she's a good kid."

"Yeah."

"So, um, how've you been?"

Please leave a review. Next chapter brings out the drama, I promise. Peace and love...