"There is always some madness in love. But there is also some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche

-

"Is it a date?"

Jin's voice over the loudspeakers were almost filled with static, but it made Shion looked up from her heap of dresses on top of the bed long enough to stare at her brother's face on the screen. He was sporting the usual goofy look that made her wanted to fly over to Second Miltia just to strangle him. The pretentious, uninterested tone that she learned later in her early teens that Jin only used it to his terminal patients.

But she trained long enough to show immense dislike to her brother.

"No, it's not. Why do you ask?"

She thought she would see her brother raise an eyebrow—but the former captain didn't even blink. "You're checking yourself in the mirror again."

"I said, it's not a date." She replied snappily.

"Try the blue one. The red one looks too slutty."

"Even if it is, it's not your problem. I'm simply choosing not to go home for the holiday. The Dammerung has many quirks that Second Miltia doesn't."

"What's his name?"

"It's Kev--" but she stopped in a split second, shooting the screen an irate look, noticing a spark of triumph in Jin's eyes.

"So where do you meet this 'Kev'?"

"I'm logging off, Jin."

"Shion, wai---"

Smiling to the dead monitor with a bit of self-satisfaction, Shion reached for the red dress instead.

---

Kevin saw her first, emerging through the sea of Vector employees, looking out of place with her striking red dress. He had even started the first phase in front of the other 1st division staffs, asking her out to dinner, being acutely aware of Ridgeley's jealous stare from the side. Ignoring it was easy, and he didn't miss Allen's dejected look when Shion concurred.

On her first day, she had looked up from her monitor and stared at him without any trace of recognition at his self-introduction. (Kevin Winnicot, nice to meet you. It's been a long time, and you've turned into a lovely young woman, Shion.)The last sentence was on the tip of his tongue, and for a second, he thought she was remembering his voice and the contour of his face as she shook his hand. She had smiled at him like they knew each other from another lifetime before turning back to her work, and wore the blank face again. But of course, Kevin thought. Sometimes memories are better off forgotten.

It wasn't easy being the one that still remember.

Then she finally noticed him, and Kevin instantly smiled and waved back—the power she has over him were a wonder, even after all the years.

She pushed her hair out of her face and grinned. "Did you wait long?"

"I've just arrived. Shall we go?" He gently held her hand, leading her through the crowd. He had expected her to duck her face and blush.

But Shion didn't, and he could feel her squeezing back with equal tenderness, and inside his chest there's a faint heartbeat that he thought he had lost.

---

"I'm telling the researchers about this. There's no letting you out."

She had her face down, hands folded neatly in front of her. "I'm sorry."

"But why? You're not supposed to--"

There was a longing look in her eyes, and he wanted so much to look away. "I simply chose to do what my hearts tells me. Yes, I'm not a human. But I love him."

"Febronia!"

"It was as if I was born for that very person. All of my reasons and being simply exist for him."

"You're crazy! It can't be--"

"You should understand, Kevin. It's just like what you feel for Shion. You just haven't realize yet--"

It was said with the gentlest of smile, like the words a mother said to her stubborn child. At that time, he was more shocked at a Realian telling him about feelings he never knew he had, and years after her death that he finally understood Febronia's unspoken words.

--that you love her.

---

In spite of his first doubts and her initial shyness, both of them found themselves comfortable in each other's company. Bringing her a simple bouquet of cosmos—something she received with a longing look.

"I hope you don't mind it's just sandwich and tea," Kevin said, handing her a ham and cheese sandwich.

"Don't worry about it. Food is the same to me everywhere." She accepted the food, and looked at him in the eye with memorable fondness. "It's the company that I enjoyed more."

They were in a park on board the Dämmerung, ringed with lush trees that one could easily mistake as a scene from a planet. Their date was supposed to be held at a restaurant, but at Saturday night, one could easily forget how crowded a popular place can get. It was the scenery that most lovers enjoyed, ringed with a remarkable outlook of the warship, the light from Vector's countless divisions made it felt like they were traveling into space, with the glass ceiling showing countless stars.

This was how he wanted to remember her—pure and blissful, unhurt by the past. "You look beautiful in that dress."

"Thank you." She smiled, giving her sandwich a bite, wiping the edge of her mouth with the tip of her fingers. "My brother had said something unpleasant about it, but I'm glad you like it."

"You're not what you wear. No offense, but I think your brother was thinking about too many unpleasant thoughts with the dress." Of course, the Vector uniform already showed enough cleavage, but Shion's red dress was more fashionably enticing. "But it's nice to have a sibling."

Slowly, she reached out and rubbed his forearm—a gesture that was barely intimate but affectionate, but Kevin tried to stifle a shudder. He hadn't expected it to go this well. Part of him wanted the whole 'courtship' to fail and stop himself from breaking her heart, waiting for any telltale sign that said 'abort mission', but at the back of his mind an obligation tugged dutifully.

He will not fail her like he failed his mother.

They didn't discuss their family that often in the future, and Kevin didn't even remember what they talked about, if she shared her fear or worries or even her most darkest secrets that he possibly knows until it was time that he walked her home, his basket empty and they were full with his home-made food, Shion towing one hand around his arm, and both of them not really enjoying the park's scenery.

"Well, this is it," Shion said, pausing before the door to her room. "I had a really nice time, Kevin."

"So am I." Pause for effect, and he slowly leaned in, giving her enough time to close her eyes and griping into the hem of his jacket, burning the image of her in a red dress into his memory, the auburn tresses framing her face, kissing her long enough to mean it more than just a peck and nothing too grubby. And even then, Wilhelm's words went subconsciously to mind, pulling him back to reality.

'In ways more than one, you've created her enough hell to last for a lifetime.'

These were the days he'll remember as sharing ketchup flavored kisses, smelling autumn buds in her hair, bending over her on his bed. It was when she kissed him back that Kevin felt like he had not gotten away with murder.