AN: Slightly OOC.  Also, here's a disclaimer: I don't own GS.  If I did, I would be rich.  Sadly, I'm not.

Penguin

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Chapter 2: Deep Thoughts and Broken Noses

It just keeps on going and going, its little pink, furry body parading across my mind while it whacks its miniature big brass drum with vigour.  That is one energetic bunny, I'll tell you.  Someday, I'll be just like it.  Except I'm a person.  So maybe I'll be a pink bunny person.  Okay, that sounded like a deep throught in my head, but on paper... it just sounds stupid.  My bad.

Lets just forget I said that.  At all.

Like I was saying earlier, I was given a gift.  That gift was pies.  My mother told me that even before I could walk, I could cook pies so divine that even the angels in heaven were drooling.  She used to tell me about how I would crawl about, pie pan balanced in one hand, before sticking it in the oven.  For some reason, I doubt her story.  It probably has something to do with the fact that had I been able to throw a pie into an oven, I would also have thrown Alex in (accidentally, of course) and he doesn't have a golden-brown, flaky crust.

The story my mother told me that was true was the tale of my first words.  I do remember this, as a matter of fact.  Apparently, this was during my stick stage, when I would chase Alex about with the largest stick I could find.  This was before my numerous painful and dreadul "accidents" involving the blue-haired child.  You know... back when they really were accidents.

One day, frustrated with my efforts, my mother scolded me.  "Stop hitting Alex," she told me furiously.  "You'll kill him!"  There were only two words I got out of that phrase, and I repeated them for her: "Kill Alex!"  Too shocked by my first words to correct me, she could only stare as I reclaimed my stick and started the game anew.

This is why Alex has only my mother to blame for my violence towards him.  It has nothing to do with a deep-seated disgust for him deep within my dreary soul.  Honest.

Anyhow, as I said earlier, Alex came back into my life suddenly, and there he was, holding me like his lover, me not even noticing, or at least not until...

There they were, best friends since birth re-united, hugging each other tightly, simply glad to see one another.  Then she felt it: two hands, firmly planted on her derriere, and she did the only thing a proper lady could: she smacked him.  Hard.  For a moment, he was stunned, but then he just smiled.

"I live for the pain you inflict, Mia," he sighed, trying to close the distance she'd just put between them.  She felt ill; she'd never realized that he was, well, a man before.  She saw him like she would a sister, yet at the same time, she felt guilty.  After all those years of bruises and hurts, now he finally wanted something back from her, and she dared refuse him?   (What?  It was a moment of weakness, I tell you!)

She looked at him, examined him throughly, and one thought popped into her mind.  It wouldn't be so bad... At least he'd be faithful; I doubt any other girl would be interested.  And I've always wanted kids... not sure if he could deliver in that department, after those incidents with the baseball bat and the cattle prod, but... 

Then Jenna, who'd been lost in thought, joined the fray, saving her friend from her self-induced delusion by delivering the offender a broken nose and throwing him out in one fell strike.  Now that's efficency.  Instantly, she slammed the door in his face and turned to Mia.

"Sorry about that," Jenna panted.  "I saw that 'I'm considering your proposal' look on your face and threw him out ASAP."

"That's why you're my friend, Jenna," she answered with a smile.  Another moment and she would have been lost.  "You saved me."

An hour had passed, and he was still there on the doorstep, nursing his new bruises.  He knew that the girls were waiting for him to leave, that they were watching his every movement through that little hole in the door which we so often use to spy on our neighbors.  You know the one I'm talking about.  It makes everything look all odd and twisted, like it's on the back of a spoon.

After much debating, Jenna decided to man the fort while Mia snuck out and escaped to Jenna's home.  After all, he was only after Mia, so if he somehow got in and found Jenna not knowing who the hell Mia was, the idea was that he might assume that his cerulean-headed angel was only a figment of his imagination after all.  It was the ultimate evil plot.  It was also ultimately simple.  Only one problem had been encountered during the initial planning: Felix.

After Jenna's parents had died the previous year in a freak accident involving lots of Jello, she'd lived with her elder brother, who provided her free room and board.  All she needed to do in return was cook, clean, and follow two simple rules:

(1) Midnight curfew

(2) No sleepovers.

Either Felix did some strange things at night, and he didn't want any of Jenna's friends to know about them, or else he just didn't want strange girls in his house at night for fear of what his friends might think.

With her, Mia carried a red wig and her lucky stuffed penguin.  Felix didn't communicate with Jenna much, so Mia was convinced that she could pass for the sister he rarely saw.  If not, she could just throw Mr. Snookums (her penguin) at his face and run.

As she walked, Mia fastened up her hair, pinning it under the red wig.  Then she took a deep breath, whipped out the key Jenna had given her, and entered the house.

Little did she know what awaited her beyond the shadows...

AN: And so ends chapter 2.  I'm a big Alex fan, but I still find it fun having him beaten up by Mia... Oh yeah.  I almost forgot.  I'm not sure about the pairing, but I think it'll be Mia/Isaac-shipping (whatever the name for that is... my friend keeps explaining to me and I keep forgetting...) but Isaac hasn't been introduced yet.  Maybe next time.