Michael: I'M BACK, BITCHES!
Raphael: -looking panicky- What is he doing up? The Vicadin hasn't worn off yet!
Michael: -snatches laptop off of a nearby desk-
Khamael: I… have no idea.
Michael: OKAY I'M THE FUCKING NARRATOR AGAIN SO YOU HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING I SAY! –types frantically on the laptop-
Khamael: -turns it on for him-
Michael: Oh.. uhh.. thanks. WOAH SHIT GUYS, TEDDY ROOSEVELT'S HERE!
Raphael: -drops his face into his hands-
Michael: He can help me write my story! GET YOUR PRESIDENTIAL ASS OVER HERE ROOSEVELT! I'm a horrid speller! I mean not to say I can't fucking spell or anything, but sometimes I spell things better than everyone else does and they don't like it! BETA CHECK THIS, YOU ASSHAT!
Chapter Two of:
-------------
THE BEST STORY EVER WRITTEN
Okay, Sara an' Setsuna are dead and in Hell and stuff. So Setsuna's hanging around aniki and being a whiny bitch and Sara's, uhh, Sara's somewhere else.
Setsuna: (in tears and clinging to Lucifer's leg) Oh Sempai, I can't breathe without her! She's my air! Her love for me is the only thing that keeps me going as the heavenly Messiah! Please help me find her!
Lucifer: You don't need to breathe. You're dead.
Setsuna: Without Sara-chan, I'll never be able to function! I'll be like an emotionless… an emotionless, evil creature, with the blood of millions of innocent angels on my hands and an androgynous freak-woman obsessed with having sex with me, and my soul, which Sara posesses, will be captured in a sword and—
Lucifer: I do not find any of your poetic ramblings amusing, Mudou.
Setsuna: (cries) Oh, Sempai!
Setsuna's being a whiny fuckass and crying and bitching to Lucifer about, oooh, he misses Sara, so Michael BURSTS INTO THE ROOM IN A BLAZE OF FIRE!!!!! AND HE BREAKS THROUGH THE WALL BECAUSE THE DOOR IS TOO SMALL TO WITHSTAND THE IMPACT OF HIS FUCKING GREATNESS!!! AND SOME MORE PEOPLE DIE SOMEWHERE!!!
Lucifer: (eyeing the mess) You're going to fix the wall, you know.
Michael: SHUT UP, UNDERLING!
Setsuna: Oh no, it's Michael the Kicker of Ass! I tremble in his mighty presence like a delicate flower in a strong wind.
Lucifer: (swats Setsuna off of his leg) Don't ever touch me again.
Raphael: Wait a minute, why the hell are you keeping Lucifer in character? You supposedly hate him more than anyone.
Michael: …What?
Raphael: This is your chance to mutilate your brother's reputation, and you're not taking it?
Michael: Well… FUCK YOU, BATMAN!
Raphael: …Oh. The Vicadin. Right.
Khamael: -sighs-
Michael is really badass so he stabs Setsuna RIGHT in the FRIGGIN' FACE and then sets him on FIRE and he burns and runs around screaming like a pansy ass biotch!
Lucifer: This is utterly pathetic.
Michael: He is, isn't he?
Lucifer: I was referring to you.
HOLY DIGSHIT!!! MICHAEL'D JUST BEEN INSULTED! So Michael was like "OH NO YOU DIDN'T, YOU DID NOT JUST INSULT ME YOU LITTLE BITCH" so he SET LUCIFER ON FIRE TOO!
Lucifer: -.-
Michael took mercy, though, so he put the fire out. But Lucifer learned his lesson! That bitch isn't gonna be messing with me now! Hell no! HELL NO!
Raphael: You had… what? Mercy on Lucifer?
Michael: Got a problem with that, fuckass?
Raphael: I really do hope this is the painkiller speaking.
And then suddenly, the wall BROKE AGAIN! Because Teddy Roosevelt cruised on in there on his MOTORCYCLE!
Roosevelt: Hey, Michael.
Michael: YEAH! HEY TEDDY ROOSEVELT! See aniki, I don't need you, I got Teddy-fucking-Roosevelt!
Lucifer: Well, congratulations, I suppose.
Things got boring after that, so Michael jumped on the motorcycle, shoving Teddy to the back 'cause he was a great motorcycle driver person! YEAAAAAH! And so they drove off into the sunset and crashed through three more walls JUST TO SPITE LUCIFER! HAHAHA TAKE THAT, ASSHAT!
Lucifer: ...Damn it.
-------------
Raphael: That... is quite possibly the most ridiculous load of crap I have had the misfortune to read.
Michael: You're just jealous that, that everybody LOVES me and you SUCK! You think you're pretty cool, huh, in your, your little BAT costume? You think you're the shit? Well man the Batmobile 'coz I'mma KICK your LATEX ASS, BATMAN! -wobbles a little-
Khamael: Do I need to hit him over the head again?
Raphael: I think so. He won't go willingly.
Michael: DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME, YOU FUCKING COMMUNISTS!
Khamael: -clocks him over the head with the back of his gun again-
Michael: -collapses-
-------------
That really was the most ridiculous load of crap I may have ever written, Silent Hill fanfiction included! D Review.