The Desk
20 February 1998
I had another occlumency lesson with Potter today. Though I see no point to them any more he can guard against attacks now and Harry has become quite an accomplished Legilimens, I now can not defend myself against him if he wishes to attack me. I thought that this would be a bad idea, giving Potter the means in which to invade the majority of people's privacy without them even realising it. Potter has however kept to the boundaries of decency and has only used his skills when they have been important to the cause or for his own personal safety.
These instances happen more often than we would have wished for since the Dark Lords return was made public. Unfortunately the Dark Lord never really trusted me after his return. He always knew that I had truly changed sides before Harry's short term defeat of him in 1981.
It was Harry's Legilimens skill which allowed me to survive. He realised that the Dark Lord was going to kill me at a Death Eater meeting and told Dumbledore what was going to happen. However Dumbledore could not get together enough Order members to get me out and it ended up that the "Golden Trio" rescued me.
This should have truly aggravated me, to now owe my life to another Potter. Not to mention a Weasley and Granger. Actually owing my life to Weasley and Granger still does annoy the hell out of me, however owing my life to Potter doesn't bother me. Maybe because I have for more than half of my life owed my life to a Potter and now it doesn't fell strange to, but I don't think that is the reason.
I have got to know Potter a little better in my occlumency lessons with him, I admit I have misjudged the boy. When I have seen him I have only really seen his father and assumed that they would be the same people the same strengths and weaknesses. Assumed that Harry would be as big a bully as his father. Because of which, I overlooked the bullying that Harry has received while at this school. Though to be fair it is Minerva's responsibility to make sure that her student isn't being bullied, however since it is my student's who have been doing most of the bullying with my blessing and protection maybe I can not truly blame her.
I seem to have departed from my train of thought. I need to somehow make Dumbledore see that Harry no longer needs these lessons. I know how important to the cause he is and would not say that he doesn't need anymore lessons if he still needed them, but he is now better at it than I am and there is really nothing else that I can teach him.
There are so many other things that I could be doing with my time if I wasn't giving Harry these lessons. Marking essays, looking after my House, even brewing potions. Unfortunately that is not the reason why I do not want to be teaching Harry on a one to one basis, the real reason is that I am getting far to attached to the boy. I want to stop this process before it gets any worse, I feel as though I could get worse really rapidly and I need to put Harry at a far away enough distance at the start, before things Get out of hand.
20 February 1998
I had another occlumency lesson with Potter today. Though I see no point to them any more he can guard against attacks now and Harry has become quite an accomplished Legilimens, I now can not defend myself against him if he wishes to attack me. I thought that this would be a bad idea, giving Potter the means in which to invade the majority of people's privacy without them even realising it. Potter has however kept to the boundaries of decency and has only used his skills when they have been important to the cause or for his own personal safety.
These instances happen more often than we would have wished for since the Dark Lords return was made public. Unfortunately the Dark Lord never really trusted me after his return. He always knew that I had truly changed sides before Harry's short term defeat of him in 1981.
It was Harry's Legilimens skill which allowed me to survive. He realised that the Dark Lord was going to kill me at a Death Eater meeting and told Dumbledore what was going to happen. However Dumbledore could not get together enough Order members to get me out and it ended up that the "Golden Trio" rescued me.
This should have truly aggravated me, to now owe my life to another Potter. Not to mention a Weasley and Granger. Actually owing my life to Weasley and Granger still does annoy the hell out of me, however owing my life to Potter doesn't bother me. Maybe because I have for more than half of my life owed my life to a Potter and now it doesn't fell strange to, but I don't think that is the reason.
I have got to know Potter a little better in my occlumency lessons with him, I admit I have misjudged the boy. When I have seen him I have only really seen his father and assumed that they would be the same people the same strengths and weaknesses. Assumed that Harry would be as big a bully as his father. Because of which, I overlooked the bullying that Harry has received while at this school. Though to be fair it is Minerva's responsibility to make sure that her student isn't being bullied, however since it is my student's who have been doing most of the bullying with my blessing and protection maybe I can not truly blame her.
I seem to have departed from my train of thought. I need to somehow make Dumbledore see that Harry no longer needs these lessons. I know how important to the cause he is and would not say that he doesn't need anymore lessons if he still needed them, but he is now better at it than I am and there is really nothing else that I can teach him.
There are so many other things that I could be doing with my time if I wasn't giving Harry these lessons. Marking essays, looking after my House, even brewing potions. Unfortunately that is not the reason why I do not want to be teaching Harry on a one to one basis, the real reason is that I am getting far to attached to the boy. I want to stop this process before it gets any worse, I feel as though I could get worse really rapidly and I need to put Harry at a far away enough distance at the start, before things Get out of hand.