Disclaimer: I do not and will never own any characters from Naruto. They are the possessions of the creator of the series and Jump magazines and am merely borrowing them for the sake of having something to write on and because I love the characters very much.
Summary: When Shino is bothered by the Kiba-Hinata-Naruto love triangle he heads out on a self-appointed mission to play matchmaker and finds out about himself and what he has always considered as a blond haired nuisance.
Warnings: kissing, slight adult language and a little angst. Shounen-ai. Which is boy x boy and if you don't like it then reading this would probably not be a good idea. Don't flame me later if you decide to continue anyway. Choice was yours.
Spoilers: nothing really, just some stuff about Chunnin Exams.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: ShinoNaru
Timing: think of them to be around 13 or 14, I guess.
Author's note: Err…My first posting of any type of fan fiction. Be gentle, I implore you. I have always wanted a fiction on Shino x Naruto pairing but there haven't been any that I found so I wrote one of my own. I hope this is believable enough as I didn't want the affectionate feelings to already exist, but develop as the story is going on. Well, enough of my ramblings, and get on with reading the story. Go on and don't forget to review. Arigatou.
What My Heart Says
- by DarkPhoenix484
What does Hinata see in him, anyway? Every time we come in contact with Uzumaki Naruto's team, she becomes even shier than she already is, which might I add has become much better after being in our team for so long. She starts twiddling her fingers, and avoiding his eyes. I think he has acknowledged her after those disastrous Chunnin Exams, but I don't think he loves her, which I think is what Hinata wants. Blinded by her love for him, Hinata does not even deem to consider the love of another. Kiba loves her with the same intensity maybe even more than what she feels for Naruto.
And what does all this have to do with me, you ask? Why, if I want any peace of mind in this team of misfits then I have to at least make an effort to get one if not both to settle down. Sheesh, with Hinata's depressed and longing gazes whenever we meet team 7 and Kiba's stupid complaining and whining regarding the said prospect, I think even my obedient bugs would get a headache and start rebelling against me in order to get far away from my teammates.
Sigh, so now I am on a self appointed mission. To get either Naruto to start loving Hinata the way she wants, or get Hinata to acknowledge Kiba's love and pay more attention to him. Honestly I think the second option is much easier but I should at least try and observe Naruto and figure out if there are any chances of the first option to come true, since unlike Hinata and Kiba I don't know much about him other than knowing that he is loud-mouth idiot who is strong enough to beat Kiba and Neji.
Well then, what am I doing here? I should go search for wherever the hell team 7 is right now. Sigh, this is so troublesome.
There they are. Humph. They don't look to be doing anything of value right now. They just seem to be waiting for something to happen by the way that they are just standing around on the bridge. Do they always waste so much time like this? Where is their sensei anyway? I heard that he is always late but I didn't think he is this late. Kurenai-sensei would skin anyone alive if they are even one minute late. I don't think anyone detected my presence yet and I don't think they will. My sneaking abilities have always been the best and I have refined them ever since I became a genin. Heck, Kurenai-sensei has literary flayed the skin off our backs with the kind of hellish training she gave us day after day. I don't think any of the 3 teams from our graduation batch has ever been subjected to anything that harsh. Sheesh, you would think that having a newly appointed jounin and a woman on top would make it easier on us. Apparently, it seems that ours is the only team having to suffer so much.
"YOU'RE LATE!" Suddenly a shout of two shrill voices breaks through my musings and makes me twitch, which, I should inform you, is a very hard thing to achieve.
"Ah… sorry, I was busy helping this old lady get her cat out of a tree and …" Their sensei started to explain when both Naruto and Sakura interrupted with a loud call of 'liar'. Looks like a daily ritual.
"Well, anyway, seems like we have a low agenda on missions today, only two D rank ones." Kakashi started.
"Haven't we proven enough of our strength, Kakashi-sensei, to be assigned to harder missions by now?" Sakura asked with a scowl.
"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei, why is the old-hag still assigning us such crappy missions?" Naruto put in.
"Because you guys are still genins and well, someone has to do them." Kakashi-sensei had a happy look on his visible features as he said this. His team however was anything but.
"What are you waiting for? Move out." Kakashi ordered and they left. I followed, of course.
You know what? After the day of trailing around team seven getting info on Naruto I have concluded that he is not very skilled. Sure he tries a lot and is very eager in everything but he just doesn't cut it. His stamina is pretty impressive though. And would probably be a very powerful opponent if he trains more but that alone does not make him good enough to be someone who Hinata admires. I really don't understand.
Finally, team 7 was dismissed and I decided to stick around Naruto a little more. If nothing else, the guy was still amusing.
He is usually very loud but as I look at him walking down the street to that Ramen stand I see Hinata stand outside of, I notice that he is surrounded by an out-of-character silence.
I follow him inside the Ramen stand, Ichiraku, and decide to observe from a darker corner while he eats his miso ramen. His change of moods is becoming interesting and I feel like I am coming closer to solving the mystery that is Uzumaki Naruto.
However, my careful spying is interrupted briefly by a loud wailing of a child who slightly burnt himself while trying to get the hot noodles in his bowl. I looked up to his mother gently consoling her son and then taking the chopsticks herself she blew on the noodles and offered them to the still sniffling child. This brings back memories of my mother giving me my food in the same manner before I became an academy student.
Looking back at Naruto, I am surprised to see him watching the mother and child with dull eyes. He just sits there and watches them for a while. Then he turns back to his cooling ramen and finishes it quickly. He drops the money for the ramen next to the bowl and quickly walks out of the stand.
I am about to get up and follow him when I hear the cook call out to Naruto.
"Hey Naruto, aren't you going to have more? You just had one bowl."
Naruto sticks his head back in and gives a slightly strained version of his usual cheery smile. "No old man, I am fine, later maybe." With that he makes his way into the night towards his home again.
Feh, this Naruto Uzumaki is a very interesting character indeed. It's like I am discovering a whole other person than the one I knew in the academy. One minute he's happy and the other he's serious. His mood changes are worse than those of Kiba's sister.
He is walking towards wherever he lives right now with his head raised towards the stars and his hands behind his head. I don't know what he is thinking right now but it feels really weird to see him so quite and well…sad.
As he walks he keeps mostly to himself ignoring each and everyone around him. But I cannot do the same. I notice how everyone is looking at him. I have never seen such cold eyes directed toward a person and it makes me wonder what prank Naruto had pulled to deserve this much hostility. This is making me feel weird but Naruto moves as though this is an everyday occurrence. Even when the stares get colder and colder he seems to be just constantly looking up and never bothering with them.
Isn't this affecting him at all? Aren't those looks a little too much to be directed towards him for a simple prank? The villagers are looking at him like he was some sort of a monster, a murderer and not a village idiot who loves to do pranks.
I look back towards him again and suddenly realize that he is very affected by those cold gazes. His shoulders are tense and the hands being held behind his head are tight. But he does not respond to the stares and simply continues forward. If it was because of a prank wouldn't he gloat about it? What is going on?
Ah, we finally reach his apartment. I move forward out of the shadows as he opens the door and calls out 'I'm home'. Nobody responds and I remember that he has no parents and lives alone. Who is he calling out to then?
I peek into the window and see him go over to his kitchen and come back out with a small water can. He starts watering his houseplants and I realize that the house is full of them. Does he care for them so much? Who takes care of them when he is out for a long mission?
After spending the whole day practically stalking the guy I find myself filled with more questions than answers. Who is Uzumaki Naruto? Why does he take such treatment that is given to him by the villagers? Why does he keep changing moods so much? Why does he call out greetings to an empty home? What are the house plants for? Few shinobi ever own anything living at home unless they can be used as tools in fighting and I have never known Naruto to use plants as tools before?
As I look into the window, my questions pop out of my mind and I am left baffled at the sight of Naruto Uzumaki sitting back on his couch with a cup of hot milk in his hand and slow tears falling down his face. I don't hear any noise from the house. No sound, just the wind blowing and one by one tears falling down his whiskered, tanned face as he continues to stare up at the cracked and uninteresting ceiling.
I have to look away. Looking at a vulnerable Naruto when I have seen a strong façade during the chunnin exams makes some sort of pang in my heart to rise and I don't like the feeling. This is the first time I have ever felt this way towards anybody and I don't understand what's going on.
I start a little when I hear the door to Naruto's apartment open again suddenly and quickly manage to conceal myself. In a blur of orange and yellow he rushes out the door and makes his way towards the training grounds, the door locking behind him with a soft click. What is he up to?
I decide to follow him and start running.
When I finally get there I am shocked to see him throwing repeated punches towards the log formation in the middle of the field with such ferociousness that I fear he is going to break his hand, the log or both. He attacks the log viciously while I stand back and look at him, all the while questioning what I was going to do now. Naruto is obviously distraught and looking at the earlier reactions of Naruto towards the villagers and vice-versa, I deduced that this was a daily occurrence. Is this why Hinata likes him so much? Because he can still smile towards others when he is hurting everyday inside? How can he even do that?
He suddenly collapses and leans towards the log breathing heavily, his hands cut and bleeding, and I don't know what possessed me that moment but I stepped out of my cover and took his hands into mine.
He starts and stares up at my face while I check his hands. He does not say anything and I think he realizes that I know he has been crying all this time as he beat his frustrations out on the immobile piece of wood.
I take out some bandage and some of Hinata's medicine that I carry around in my overcoat and start to bandage his hands as gently as I can. I feel his stare as I am doing this but I can't bring myself to look up. I make myself concentrate on his hands only. They look so small within mine as I hold them. Naruto has always been small but after what I witnessed he seems even smaller to me. Just a small boy who lives all alone in a huge world that hates him.
I finish with my task, put back everything, and slowly look up at his face. His eyes are hidden in the shadow of his hair that is free of his forehead protector. He must have left it back at his house.
He is looking at his hands, while I stare at the top of his head. His hair looks like spun gold from this close up and under the moonlight falling into the clearing. It is shining so brightly that I am thankful that I am still wearing my glasses.
He does not say anything for a long time and I am getting very nervous. Why did I jump out like that? He must not have wanted anybody to see him like this. That's why he holds up his mask of cheerfulness everyday, doesn't he?
"…Why?" His soft voice breaks me out of my thoughts. I refocus my attention back at him and he looks up. His eyes glittering like nothing I have seen before and I suddenly feel like I am drowning in a sea of endless dark blue. His eyes are so beautiful.
"What are you doing here?" He continues taking, his voice still soft.
I can't tell him that I have been following him around. So I keep quite and keep looking into his beautiful eyes. His hands are still in mine.
"Nobody has ever cared, so why are you here? You have no reason. You are not even my friend. I don't even know you at all." He keeps talking never blinking and never taking his eyes off me as he keeps searching my face for answers which I don't know myself. So I say so.
"…I don't know."
He laughs then, softly. Then closes his eyes. His unshed tears fall down those soft whiskered-cheeks and I raise my hand to wipe them without realizing.
He jerks away as soon as my hand makes contact and stumbles backward looking very angry.
"Why? Why? Why? Why are you doing this? Leave me alone. I don't need you. I don't need anyone." He cries out, wrapping his arms around him.
"I don't care if people don't like me. I will make them acknowledge me. I will become the Hokage and make people recognize my existence. I'll make them respect me. I'll…" His rants slow down and he drops down, biting his lips and trying to prevent more tears from falling. I get up and walk towards him.
"Stop. Stop crying, you idiot. You think you are some sort of a tragedy hero or something for you to be crying all the time?" I hear him mutter to himself and have to hold in my own pain. He must have said those words every time he feels like crying in order to stop. Because no one has ever told him that it's okay to cry when you are alone and hurt. So I do.
I take him into my arms and hold him tightly as I whisper to him that sometimes it's okay to cry.
He struggles against me. "No! No! I am not weak! I won't cry! I will make everyone acknowledge my strength. I will make everyone look up to me." His words are muffled against my chest.
I rest my chin over his silken hair and say "Even the strong need to cry sometime. Even the strong need someone to hold them while they relieve themselves of a burden they shouldn't have to bear." My words stop his struggles and he lies within my arms, motionless and tense. Suddenly, he presses himself closer to me and clutches me back tightly.
"You don't know what's going on, Shino. You don't know. I don't want to cry, but I can't stop sometimes." He speaks between his quite sobbing.
"Its alright, I don't care about what's going on. I'll wait for you to tell me if you are ready to do so, otherwise I don't need to know because I don't care about it. What I do care about is you." I said whatever came to my mind right then, or rather came to my heart. The Aburame clan is known for their quietness, but what most people don't know is that when we do speak it's from our heart. We are silent and appear cold but we don't try to isolate ourselves.
He stills within my arms and slowly raises his head. I let him. His pretty eyes look up at me in wonder and awe, as I gaze down at him. Holding his gaze I slowly raise my hand and slip my glasses off, revealing my red eyes to his inspection. He is still kneeling in front of me with the slowly drying tears on his cheek and I raise my arm again, this time to wipe those tears for him. He lets me unlike last time, still gazing at me with wonder and something else which I hope is what I think it is.
I keep my hand on his cheek and bring my other up to hold his other cheek as well. He does not move. His gaze is still on me and I repeat my earlier words.
"I care about you."
And I kiss him. It is just as heart driven as any of my other actions. My battle stats and strategies might come from my brain but I fight from my heart, and I love from my heart and right now my heart's telling me to kiss his wounds away, to make his pains vanish. And he is letting me. He sits there on his knees, his hands clutching my arms and eyes closed. He just sits there doing nothing and letting my lips taste him, soothe him, heal him. Then he responds. He kisses me back and lets me enter my tongue into his mouth. He willingly lets me have a taste of what Sasuke had so long ago by accident and I hardly have time to marvel at the sweetness, when my mind completely shuts down from the intensity of the moment.
The need to breathe makes us draw back and I don't know how long I have been kissing him. I want to do it again, but I restrain myself as I observe his reaction. He has his eyes closed still and is breathing heavily. His cheeks are flushed within my hands and his hold has loosened around my arms; they are now resting on my shoulders. His hair is framing his face and is blowing slightly in the gentle breeze and I realize that I have never seen such a beautiful sight in my entire life.
Then he looks up and I realize that I was wrong and this is the sight that is the most beautiful of any I have ever seen.
His blue eyes gentle and warm, his soft and shiny lips forming a small smile, his hair of gold falling into his eyes, and his whole face radiating such brilliance which I know I have brought to him that I feel ….I don't know how I feel. I feel content. I feel happy. I feel like shouting out to express my joy even though it would be out of character for me. But right now I don't care. As I hold him within my arms and give a small smile of my own. I realize that I don't care what anyone else thinks.
All I care about is the angel within my arms and the sincere smile of pure happiness and belonging I have seen on his face.
Well, I set out to find a solution for Hinata and Kiba's love problem and failed quite happily in my mission. Although, I probably did not even need to try anything for their little love triangle, as I found out the next morning walking up to them to our designated meeting spot.
They were holding hands and Akamaru was sitting on Hinata's shoulders while they were talking shyly to each other waiting for me and sensei.
"Finally!" I can't help calling out as I step up to them. I smile down at them as they hurriedly try to get away from each other.
My smile is reflected on my sensei's face as she also teases the two love birds while I look on.
As we move out towards our appointed missions, we come across where team 7 is waiting for their sensei on the bridge. And while we pass them, maybe because of my good mood or maybe because of what happened last night, I don't know which, I walk straight onto the bridge and stop right before Naruto. He looks up at me with startled eyes and then smiles widely.
"Hey Naruto." I call out softly.
"Hey Shino. Doing your missions?" He asks in a similar manner.
"Hai. You're waiting for yours right?" I ask and he nods still smiling serenely.
"Good luck." I say and shock everyone standing under the bright Sun on the bridge by leaning down and placing a small and light kiss on his cheek. He looks surprised at first but then smiles even wider than before, if possible.
"You too, Shino, you too."
With a smile on my face I proceed towards our mission dragging my shocked teammates along.
"Sh-Shino-k-kun" I hear Hinata stutter and look towards her. She looks very surprised and then suddenly she smiles and gives me a happy look, saying:
"Good luck, Shino-kun. Keep him happy."
Even though I have known Hinata for so long, I am still surprised by her. I look back towards the bridge where he is looking at me, smiling softly and waving slightly. I smile back at the beautiful sight and nod, both to him and Hinata. I promise myself and Hinata within my heart:
I will, Hinata. I will protect him from every pain and unhappiness in the world, from now onwards, as long as I live. I promise.
---The End or maybe this is The Beginning---