Chapter 9: Say Goodbye

Miranda sat around in her room, thinking back to her parent's wedding. The day had been one of the most amazing days in which she had ever experienced so far. She was able to witness the union of her parents, having them declare that their loves was still in fact alive, and she herself took place in a union of her and her best friend…

She did not regret a moment of what took place that evening, but she had so many questions about it. It had all happened so fast and unexpectedly, it just kept her wondering. What had happened, had her thinking, especially as to what it meant in terms of her friendship with Gordo.

After it happened, neither said anything about it. They didn't discuss it or acknowledge it at all. Both just simply went back downstairs to the activities, and went on about things as if nothing had ever occurred.

Unfortunately, Miranda wanted so badly to talk about what went on that day. More than anything she wanted bring it all out in the open, and once and for all sort out whatever feelings existed between them.

But now, in just a matter of hours, she was leaving. Miranda was leaving for California State University at Fresno, better known to everybody else as Fresno State. She was off to begin her collegiate journey while studying women's studies. It seemed as though whatever she might've had, or could've had with Gordo would have to be set aside, or maybe even forgotten about.

A new chapter was about to begin in their lives, and sometimes it was just best not to look back and focus on things of the past.

By the time morning came around, Miranda tried to focus on the day ahead. She was finally leaving for college, and the thought of moving into a dorm and meetings lots of new people was quite exciting. The uncertainty of it all made her want to be there even more. She could only imagine, at the moment, the differences it would mean.

Once everything was tightly packed into Miranda's car, it was time for her to leave, whether she was ready to do so or not. Before heading off onto the highway and off to Fresno, she was to stop by both Lizzie and Gordo's houses. She knew her goodbye to Gordo was to be a difficult one. They had been best friends since they could remember, separation due to college was something new for them. Just as new as everything that had gone on between them during the summer.

"Ay, little girl is growing up," said Daniella, to her daughter, as she bid her farewell. "I'm so so proud of you!"

"Thanks mom," Miranda responded, smiling back at her mother.

"Now, I promise I won't make a big fuss. I'll be that 'cool mom' and just wish you luck." Miranda laughed. "Hey! I could be 'cool mom'!" her mother told her, with her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, okay mom," Miranda teased. "You know, it's okay if you want to cry…"

"No, no! If I cry now I could only imagine how I'll be by the time Carlos leaves for college!" Mrs. Sanchez explained. "So, no. I'm not going to cry. I'm just going to give you a hug, and wish you well." She then hugged her daughter tightly. "And a hug from your father, who wishes he could be here if he wasn't working." She hugged her again. "And one from Rocio, who wishes she was awake." She hugged her once again. "And, one from Carlos who wishes he was old enough to realize what was going on." She hugged her one last time.

Miranda smiled at her mother, and then hugged her back. "And one from your daughter, who wants to thank you for everything you've done for her."

"Miranda," Daniella stated between her sobs. "I told you I wasn't going to cry, and now look at me!" She tried her best to let out a laugh.

"And I told you that it's okay to cry mom," Miranda reminded her. "I love you."

"And you know I love you too. Now, I don't want to keep you here any longer, because I know you have some friends waiting for you."

"Okay…bye mom. I'll call you as soon as I get there!"

The two hugged one last time before Miranda got in her car and was off to Lizzie's house.

By the time she got to Lizzie's, she wasn't sure she was ready for another emotional goodbye.

"Oh, Miranda!" Lizzie cried as soon as she saw her best friend. "I can't believe you're actually leaving today! Aren't you excited?" They both stood in the McGuire living room, and gave no regard as to who was sleeping or not.

"Yeah," Miranda admitted. "I actually am! But at the same time I'm sad to be leaving home. I'm sad to be leaving my mom, and dad, and little brother and sister…I'm still teary from saying goodbye to my mom."

"Don't worry, you can always come back and visit…with me of course! Don't forget that I'll be in Fresno too over at Pacific U! It's going to be so much fun!"

Miranda laughed. "I'm glad you're so excited about college."

"Yup, I'm all packed and ready to leave tomorrow," the blonde stated. "But, I'll admit, I'm going to miss home. Even Matt. As hard to believe as that is."

They both laughed.

Miranda sighed. "I still have one more stop before I get to school…"

"Gordo's?" Lizzie asked.

"Yup."

"Ooh…really? Well, if that's the case, I think you should get going. We're going to see each other again in a few days anyway Miranda," Lizzie told her. "But you're leaving now, and I think that you have some things you might need to go figure out with Gordo."

"Thanks Lizzie," Miranda said as she hugged her best friend. "I'll see you in Fresno!" They both laughed as she walked away, waving a goodbye.

Miranda knew that Lizzie was right and that she had things to figure out with Gordo. But, at the same time, she was uncertain. The whole drive to the Gordon residence had her very uneasy, because she did not know what to expect. She had spoken and seen him a couple of times since the wedding, never discussing what had happened. But, now that both of them were to be leaving for college, she didn't want to keep it inside anymore. This was something too big too be ignored.

Miranda parked her car across the street when she saw Gordo sitting on his from porch. She couldn't help but wonder how it was going to go, but she knew that she had to take her chances. It was now or never.

"Hey Gordo," she said while walking up to him. "What has you up at this time?"

"Oh, I'm waiting for some girl to come over," he joked.

She smiled as she took a seat next to him. "Oh really? This girl must be special to have you up at this time."

"Eh, not really."

She hit him lightly on the shoulder and laughed. "Ass!"

"You know you love this ass," he teased.

"So, is Mr. Ivy League excited about leaving for Columbia in a couple of days?" she asked. He laughed. "Going off to New York City, and having all sorts of great adventures, without me."

He told her, "you can always visit me in New York Miranda."

She shook her head. "Like you'll have time for me with all your have your New York friends. Not to mention when you get your New York girlfriend. She'll be taking up all your time…"

"Oh really?"

"Yup. And then soon after dating for a year you two will move-in together. After that, you'll stop calling. No more visits to Hillridge. You two will have this lovely and lavish spring wedding in three years. You'll forget about me, of course. She'll pop out about the norm, two-point-five kids for you. You'll be very happy. So I should really just wish you a nice life right now."

"Are you done?" Gordo asked with a laugh.

"Yeah."

"Okay then, tell me more about this girlfriend of mine…"

"Hey!" Miranda exclaimed as she punched in once again, playfully.

"Okay, that one hurt!"

They both laughed.

She sighed. "I…gotta get going pretty soon…"

"Yeah, I know…"

"Gordo…before I go, I need to know…"

"Know what?" he asked as he brought his head down. Gordo tried to act as though he didn't know what she was trying to bring up, but he did.

"You know what I'm talking about…us."

"What about us?"

"Gordo…I can't keep doing this. I can't keep having you run away from whatever this is or isn't," Miranda told him. The frustration could be noted in her voice.

"What is 'this'?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know…that's what I'm trying to figure out. I mean, Gordo, since that night--"

"Which one?" Gordo asked with a laugh.

"Both, I guess," she said with a smile. "I've been trying to figure out what it all means. I've been trying to figure out what it means for us. What it makes us…" She sighed. "Look, Gordo, I know you know how I feel. Lizzie told me, about Kate's party. What I said…and, it was true. So you know how I feel. But, what I need to know, is how do you feel?"

"I don't know…"

Miranda let out a sarcastic laugh. "How can you say that? 'I don't know'? What does that mean?"

"It means that I don't know. I don't know what to think about all of this. About you. About me. About us…" He got up and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I mean, you're my best friend Miranda…"

"And so was Lizzie," she reminded him.

"Yeah but…"

She began shaking her head. "But what? But what Gordo?" He stayed silent. "I'm not like Lizzie…I don't run away from my feelings…"

"I know. Trust me, I know Miranda…you're different. God, you're so different…and I've known that since that kiss…"

"Why'd you kiss me?" she asked, suddenly folding her arms in front of her.

"What?" Gordo wasn't sure what she was getting at.

"You heard me. Why'd you kiss me?" she asked once again. "I mean, if you don't know how you feel about me…about us…why'd you kiss me?" She began shaking her head, and tears could be seen on her cheeks by now. "No, no. Better yet, why'd you sleep with me? Why did you go and lose your virginity to me, if you aren't even sure how you feel? Because I know you Gordo…I know you and you aren't the type of guy who'll just use a girl…" She stood up in front of him. "Look at me Gordo…"

"Miranda…I…"

She shook her head and the tears began to flow. "You know what? I guess--I guess…I was wrong. Because I know that if you felt anything for me, it wouldn't be this hard…would it?" Miranda slowly took a deep breath and told him, "I-I have to go…I can't keep doing this anymore…" As she walked past him, she turned her head and said, "goodbye Gordo…"

She couldn't take it anymore. She no longer could stand in the presence of him, knowing that she had bared her heart to him, and got nothing in return.

Slowly, she walked back to her car, wiping the tears from her eyes. Somehow she thought this would all turn out differently. But obviously, she had been mistaken.

"Miranda!" Gordo called out as he made his way over to her.

Miranda turned around shook her head. "Please…don't…" At that point, she couldn't really take anything else he had to say to her. It would be too much.

By the time he reached her side, his face was full of tears as well.

"No…Miranda…"

"What Gordo? What is it now?" she ask, trying her best to fight the tears that continued to come.

"You were wrong…I do…" He trailed off as he cradled his lips with hers and tasted their sweetness. And finally, after all the wait, with one kiss, he told her. "I love you…"

A special thank you to everyone that stuck with this story and read and reviewed it on a regular basis, it means so much to me! Even those of you who only reviewed maybe once or twice, ya'll deserve a special thank you as well! I'm the girl who is super-duper critical with her writing, so knowing that there are people who actually enjoy it, shocks me...but means a lot as well. xoxo -Joa