Title: Know the Unobtainable

Author: ANNE (the insane one)

Rating: PG
Summary: When Sara kisses a married Grissom, his wife gives Sara a little of her personal brand of "education"

Disclaimer: Characters et al belong to the people that make CSI.

Catherine Grissom raced into the bathroom, slamming the toilet door behind her. It wasn't that she didn't like being pregnant, or that she and her husband were having a baby. It was just that when said baby decided to sit on her bladder, things got a little complicated.

When she had finished and washed her hands, she was about to head out, when her husband came careering into the room.

"Gil?" she asked, slightly confused as to what was going on.

He put a hand up, before grabbing a bottle of Listerine and pouring a generous amount into his mouth. First rinse out, he looked up at Catherine. "Wasn't my fault." Second rinse-out, he looked back up again. "Came out of nowhere." Third rinse out, "Did not enjoy it one bit." Fourth rinse out, "You are the sexiest woman on the planet." Fifth-rinse out, "I love you more…"

Catherine snatched the bottle away from him. "What on earth has gotten into you? You're going to finish the entire bottle."

"Need the entire bottle," Grissom told her, snatching it back.

"It cannot be that bad," Catherine said, taking the bottle again.

"Yes it can," Grissom replied, taking it back.

Catherine held out a hand. "Gilbert Grissom, hand that bottle over immediately, or you won't be getting any for the foreseeable future."

Grissom meekly placed the bottle in her hands.

"Thank you," Catherine replied. "Now do you mind telling me why you were attempting to overdose on mouthwash?"

"Do you promise not to hit me?"

Catherine placed the bottle of mouthwash back in the cabinet. "There, I don't have anything to throw at you now."

"You pack a pretty mean right hook."

Catherine folded her arms. "I'm going to hit you before you say anything if you don't spit it out."

"SaraSidlekissedme."

"Try again."

Grissom took a deep breath. "Sara Sidle kissed me."

Catherine arched an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Grissom backed up a little, before running into the wall. "I honestly didn't expect it. It came out of nowhere. Honestly, Catherine, I didn't meant to, I swear. I love you more than anything and…"

Catherine walked up to him and placed a finger on his lips. "Gil, shutup." She smiled at him. "I trust you. And I know that you wouldn't have started that."

"Well, I aim to be as helpful as possible," Catherine smirked, raising her arms to encircle his neck.

Grissom put his hands on her waist and held her to him. They smiled at each other for a moment before his lips crashed down on hers. Catherine let out a small moan, pushing herself against him as much as she could with the baby bump.

When they pulled apart, he smiled at her. "Thanks. That helped a lot."

Catherine grinned and shrugged. "I do what I can."

"And you do it so well," he replied.

"Of course," she answered.

His hand went to her belly and he looked up at Cath. "You don't think I traumatized the baby?"

Catherine rolled her eyes. "No, Gil, I don't think you traumatized the baby." She leant up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "You're going to be okay now?"

He nodded, caressing her face with his fingers. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Okay." She squeezed his hand. "I gotta go do some girl stuff." She poked him in the chest. "And you have a mountain of paperwork."

Grissom pouted. "Slave driver."

"Mhm, that's me." Catherine was about to disappear when she realised something. She turned back to her husband, a wicked grin on her face. "Does that mean you're my slave?"

Grissom chuckled. "You hadn't noticed that yet?"

Catherine giggled and kissed him again. "See you later, slave boy."

Grissom rolled his eyes. "Just don't call me that in front of the kids."

"I'll try and restrain myself."

Before she could leave, Grissom called out.

"Hey, Cath. What girl stuff?"

Catherine sent him a wicked smile. "Just go finish that paperwork so we can go home."

################################

Catherine stood in the door to the breakroom, watching Sara consume a tub of yogurt. She was weighing up her choices. She could go in and pummel Sara to a pulp…but that might hurt the baby. Not to mention her husband and her career.

But she couldn't get in trouble for doing a little teaching, now could she?

"Sara."

"Catherine."

Ever since Grissom's marriage to Catherine and the news there was a baby on the way, there was barely restrained hostility between the two women. However they kept their feelings reined in when they were in the workplace.

Now that Sara had kissed her husband, Catherine decided it was safe to say all bets were off.

"Closed your case?"

"Waiting from DNA from Greg. You?"

"Closed." Catherine sat down across the table from her. "Oh, and by the way. Stay away from my husband."

Sara arched an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Sara, I understand you have a lot of issues, but I know that you're not as stupid as you like to make out. Stay away from my husband."

Sara folded her arms. "Jealous, Cath?"

Catherine let out a snort of amusement. "Hardly. But I did think I needed to give you an education."

"You? Give me an education?"

"Well, my brand of education, anyway," Catherine smirked.

Sara leant back in her chair. "Go ahead. I'm sure it will be interesting."

Catherine rolled her eyes. "Well in "my business", as I've heard you enjoy calling it…or let's put it this way…the more polite way you put it, I was taught a very important lesson, that I think you need to learn."

"And what has your business taught you that you think applies to me?" Sara sneered.

"Look available, but be unobtainable. Or in your case, know the unobtainable."

Sara arched an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"Let me put it in layman's terms," Catherine suggested. "Even if I'm not standing right by his side, you think Gil may look available, he's unobtainable."

Sara blinked.

Catherine sighed. "Stay away from my husband."

"You can't just…"

"I can just," Catherine said sternly. She ran her hand over her abdomen. "I was gonna get violent, but I didn't want to upset the baby." She glared at Sara. "Don't make me upset the baby."

Sara's eyes widened. "You're not kidding, are you?"

Catherine sent her a deadly look. "Wanna try me?"

Sara gulped. "No," she squeaked.

Catherine smiled a saccharine sweet smile. "Good." Resting her hand on her belly, she made her way out of the room, leaving a shocked Sara behind. "We did good," she told the baby, making her way back to her husband's office.

################################

Catherine stood in the doorway of Gil's office, watching him fill out some forms. His tongue was sticking out between her teeth, and she smirked, loving the adorable look on his face.

"Hey," she murmured.

Grissom looked up and he smiled. "Hey. Girls business all finished?"

Catherine nodded and walked in. "All finished. I just gave Sara a little bit of my own brand of education."

Grissom's eyes widened. "Cath you didn't hit her, did you?"

"No," Catherine replied. "I just spouted the old "look available, be unobtainable" line to her."

Grissom raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I said that while you may look available, you are unobtainable," Catherine explained, perching on his desk.

He looked worried. "I look available? I'm not available! I don't want to look available! How do I make sure I don't look available?"

Catherine chuckled and beckoned him to stand up beside her, which he did.

"It's very easy, Gil," she replied.

And kissed him.

FINIS