Lady Izayoi regarded the magnificent wedding gown with critical eyes. Yes, the color was a deep, rich crimson that dazzled the eyes and ensnared the senses. The rubies were sown immaculately into the bodice; not a single thread was out of place. The neckline was edged in amber, low enough to tickle the imagination, but hid enough to preserve modesty. The skirts were voluminous, not overly so though, sweeping in the back in a lovely manner, the sleeves long and full, flaring enormously ay the wrists.

"What do you think, Mikiko?" Izayoi asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Lovely, lovely. We will have to fit it, of course." Mikiko smiled fondly at the gown, one of the many Kagome would be receiving, though one of the most beautiful by far.

"Yes," Izayoi agreed, "we simply must make sure that the fitting is right. Where is Kagome, anyway?"

"I left her in an alcove off the third floor hallway," a new voice answered. Kagura sauntered into the room, her ruby eyes ablaze and her smile glinting wickedly. "Mother, dear," she exclaimed, embracing Izayoi. Izayoi returned the gesture, but the seriousness in her eyes said that she knew that Kagura wanted to discuss something of extreme importance. She had an inkling as to what it could be, but also knew that Mikiko could not be present to hear.

"Mikiko, darling, this is my lovely daughter-in-law, Kagura," Izayoi said, beaming, as she introduced the women to one another. "Kagura, this is Mikiko, Kagome's mother. I see that you two have already met." She dug her fingers into Kagura's wrist, silently asking her a soundless question.

What did you tell her?

There was no simple way to answer that, Izayoi knew. The entire affair was dreadfully complicated. There was no one way to explain, but a convoluted, crisscrossing patchwork of reasons that made it make some sort of sense. It was taking all of Izayoi's excellently bred manners to keep the entire thing balanced until the wedding. And after…well, whenever that came, she'd have Tai to help her figure it out.

"Mikiko, why don't you go find Kagome? That way, you can spend some time with your charming daughter before you give her up!" Izayoi filled the suggestion with just the right amount of humor and camaraderie that Mikiko laughed, expressed a desire to do just that and left. Once the woman had left, Izayoi drew in a lungful of breath, and prepared to face Kagura head-on.

Ruby eyes blazing, Kagura spat out a word. "Why?"

Izayoi seated herself on a cushioned chair and gestured that Kagura do the same herself. "First things first. What did you say to Kagome?"

Kagura rolled her eyes. "Just to be careful with Inuyasha."

Izayoi sighed. "What did you threaten her with?"

"Just that I'd make her sorry and that Sesshoumaru would liquefy her."

"He would, wouldn't he? Did you tell her anything about-"

"Yes, I did. A very abbreviated account though, so I doubt it counts for anything. Now, what I want to know is: Why? Kagome is a nice girl and all that, but why? There are a thousand other girls out there, and you had to pick one that looks exactly like-"

"We know, we know, it's not the most tactical move. We didn't know what the girl looked like. Her father simply wrote to us one day and offered his daughter to us, and we decided to take him up on his offer."

"And?" Kagura's face flushed with frustration and fury.

"When they first arrived, I was shocked myself. I thought of throwing the whole affair out the window… but Tai thinks this is the best thing to ever fall into our lives." Izayoi sighed, collecting her thoughts. Kagura was more perceptive than most people she could pay lip-service to; this required a certain amount of delicacy.

"For Heaven's sake, why?" Her lip curled in a snarl.

"Tai and I considered throwing the whole affair out, but he said that we should wait, just to see if it would work out." A tired smile curled Izayoi's lips. "Inuyasha warmed up to her wonderfully. She got drunk at last night's ball- Tai was delighted of course-" at this, Kagura could not help but smile, because she adored all of her father-in-law's eccentric quirks- "and she soon started wandering outside into the garden, where Inuyasha sometimes hides…"

"Well?"

"She passed out. Poor child hadn't drunk more than a cup in her life." Kagura and Izayoi both smiled at this. "You'd think Inuyasha would have left her there to rot."

Kagura smarted. "Didn't he?"

Izayoi's eyes sparkled. "Oh, no. He carried her up to her room, found the maid, made sure she was safely in bed and then left. And this morning, he took her to the gardens!"

Kagura chuckled. "So there's hope to be had?"

Izayoi wet her lips, grinning. "Oh, yes, I would say there is. Ah, here come our guests."

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"Kagome?" Mikiko called, gently pushing the dark brown double doors open with the very tips of her fingers. She couldn't help but let a little smile tug at her lips. When a castle had countless rooms and even more treasures, there was something to be said about having your daughter be a mistress of it. Kagome had a troubled past, yes, but there was nothing in this castle to prove that she wouldn't be comfortable. Not completely happy, perhaps— Mikiko had long ago ceased to hope for extraordinary things from life— but she would be comfortable nonetheless.

"Kagome dear?" Her smoky eyes, much like Kagome's own, fell upon her daughter's slumped form. Immediately, worry kindled in their depths. She settled herself gracefully, placing a milky hand on her daughter's back. "What has happened?"

Kagome jerked instantly, eyes flying to her mother. Her breathing was rapid, her hands trembling, but there was a terrible calm in her eyes, the steely look of a martyr, the look of a conviction so mighty, it took breaths away.

"What has happened to you?"

Kagome fixed her eyes upon her mother unwaveringly, resolute determination flashing through them. "I'm not like Kouga, mother."

Mikiko gasped, pressing a hand to her daughter's lips. Didn't she know what would be at stake if the others found out—?

Kagome continued, heedless. "I don't stab people I love in the back. I don't destroy what I've struggled to build… I don't destroy others' lives."

"What are you talking about, Kagome?" Mikiko whispered, frantically glancing outside the small study for spectators. In castles as big as these, even the walls had ears, and mouths flapped faster than light. The moment Kagome opened her mouth and uttered, unheeded ears seemed to ghost inside, eyes seemed to pry through the stone, and every tongue began to prepare for a fresh scandal. Please, Mikiko pleaded, please don't destroy your life again, not now— you've just started to rebuild it.

Kagome's mouth settled into a hard line, determination ingrained in every angle, every contour, every curve of her unlined but lined, her young but old face. "Do you know that?"

"Yes, darling, yes!" Anything, anything, just stop!

"Does Inuyasha?" Kagome's voice was edged with something hard, something that Mikiko had never heard issued from her young daughter's mouth, something not unlike a desperate soldier lunging at a foe. She could not give an answer, because she simply had no idea how the rest of Kagome's life would go and had no idea where their relationship stood, so she settled for something in between.

"Darling, if you give him a chance to know you, I'm sure he would realize that." Her voice was soft, soothing, placating. The resolve in Kagome's face hardened. It was one thing to let time do the healing; but time was greedy, taking all the finer details for itself, until you couldn't recall the exact color of her eyes and confuse it with another. Mikiko, sighing with relief, patted her daughter's hair with a gentle hand. "There, there. It's natural to be afraid before your wedding, but you must take care not to let it get the better of you. Fear is only fear, of course. Come, you must try your wedding gown."

Cheeks still flushed with passion, Kagome nodded, and with as much composure as she could muster, rose and walked out of the study… her study.

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Kagome's head did not stop spinning that day. Whatever reaction Kagura had wanted to foment with her words, Kagome's head simply did not want to stop whirling. Thoughts whirled about, leaving little room for rational thought, but when had she been good at that, anyway? Her wedding dresses— simply marvelous concoctions of color, beads and fabric— had flitted by, unnoticed at worst and barely acknowledged at best, when the ladies had noticed her apparent lack of interest. Thank goodness they had written it off as pre-wedding jitters.

She decided to forgo the ball that night. Bright lights, small talk, whirling dances were not things Kagome felt she could deal with; she would end up embarrassing her family anyway. There would be plenty of time for that. There would be countless balls later. Hang this one, she thought with sneering lip and knotted brow. Lessons from strict governesses dictated that these expressions were not to be seen on the face of a proper lady. Kagome decided to hang them as well. She locked herself in her room, tore out of her day dress, stuffed herself in a nightgown meant for a woman with much more girth, and threw herself on a cushy swing on her private balcony.

The night truly was beautiful. Kagome turned her face up to it, drinking in the night sky. The stars were shining unusually bright, brilliant specs of fairy dust in the velvet of the sky, little pinpricks of twinkling crystal in the darkest silk. A heady breeze blew from the east, strong enough to just stir Kagome's hair. For the first time in days, Kagome relaxed. There was a certain beauty about being alone by oneself: all pretences dropped. To its credit, the roiling mass of thoughts in Kagome's mind all but dissipated.

The course of action was clear. There must be some way, some timely action, a perfect word to prove to Inuyasha that she was not a backstabbing asp, some way to prove to him that she was worthy of his trust.

Options ran through her mind. Tell him about her own dirty past? No, that was out of the question, because while she felt a thread, a wavering bond of companionship forming between them, the results would be disastrous if anyone else found out. And if she told him after marriage, who would he be to patronize?

It all boiled down to lost loves, didn't it, all the nitty-gritty details of it all. She realized that after a while, those people no longer were people; in fact, they were symbols, pariahs, categories that you could file the worst people into.

Kagome bit her lip, wondering, and suddenly knew what to do. A truth bloomed in her heart. It was now only a matter of time. It had to be symbolic, a message that even Inuyasha would understand; something this monumental could not be tossed carelessly at another's ears. Kagome stares up at the sky again, wondering when she had begun to bet her chances of happiness on three mere words.

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The next day began as the previous one had with the only exception of an angry Mikiko storming into her rooms. Satsuki chattered on and on about nothing and everything in particular, and instead of shutting the small girl up, Kagome enjoyed the meaningless chatter: It filled her morning with sounds of sunlit fields of daisies and other such things.

"So you know what I say? Well, I'm not very tall, but I get loud, so I puff out my chest all manly-like and say as loud as I can, 'Matsuo, you get away from my puppy or I'll bite you!' And you know what they do next, milady, they start laughing at me! So I show 'em no nonsense, no I don't, so I march right up to him and bite the bully right on the shoulder! And then he starts yellin' and hollerin' and people can't come fast enough. They're all yammerin' for me to let 'im go, but I don't and then they call me mum, and she starts schreechin' something awful…"

Melancholy sang her melody in Kagome's eyes. Her lips curved in a wistful smile as she marveled at the story. There was nothing special about it, a small tale that an overly talkative girl could easy string together, but Satsuki did not have the look of a liar about her. It was strange, the social order. The elite had all of the riches while the poor had freedom to behave as they wished.

She recalled snippets of her childhood, gossamer wrapped memories. Kagome's mind fingered over them, thumbing through the white lace and pretty pink tea sets, back when she wasn't allowed to think that playing in the mud would be more fun than playing tea party, because that sort of thing certainly wasn't done by people with money like her parents had and their children, and wouldn't she want to be a wonderfully elegant lady when she was older, because ladies didn't have mud under their fingernails!

As always, she had nodded yes and stuck out her pinky finger delicately. Kagome's lip curled. Free thought was an illusion in her world, and for long moments, her heart ached for the freedom it had never known.

Perhaps that was why Inuyasha felt so much more at ease around those who were considered his inferiors, not his equals. Among commoners, you could do as you wanted. Among nobles, you were tied with a chain of etiquette, honor, and pretty white lack you couldn't get mud on. It was a startling insight, and suddenly another connection to her husband-to-be formed. At this rate, she would end up falling in companionship with him, that was it. Friendship, understanding, even intimacy. Iron hands wound around her throat, the air was too thick, too hot, too filled with thoughts ghosting around the edge of her conscious. Her mind itched for something organic, something fragrant, something that smelled of earth to bury her nose in.

It came in a flash of insight: Kaede's garden! The need to be surrounded by healing and serenity was overpowering; she had to skip breakfast, there was no alternative. Well, she thought with a slight sniff, tongues would have no reason to wag; she was doing nothing too improper. She glanced at the lovely rose-pink dress Satsuki had laid out and decided at once that it would not suffer dirt stains.

"Satsuki, darling?" Kagome said, drawing the maid out of a monolog about dusting the upper-most shelves in the library and how pointless it was because all they had up there were old records about kings long dead and long forgotten, "I don't think I'll wear that dress today."

Satsuki blinked, confused. "You can't go out in a nightgown, milady, that's nigh indecent!"

Kagome giggled, "No, no! I'd rather wear one that's brown and not as expensive."

"Uh, of course, if that's what you want, milady…" The question still hovered in the air: Why one earth would a lady pass over a lovely rose muslin affair in favor of ugly dark brown georgette? Kagome sensed it, saying, "I want to visit the herbalist today and I'd hate to see the pink one ruined."

Satsuki nodded in understanding. "Oh, yes, that would be bad, but I could run down to old Kaede and fetch whatever medicine you need."

Kagome shook her head. "I don't need any medicine; I just like herbs and such things. Just leave the dress out here and you can take the rest of the day off. Just remember, I need you tonight. I can't skip out on another ball."

Satsuki smiled so wide Kagome feared her face might break in two, curtsied, and scurried out the door. Kagome shook her head, pulled on the simple brown day gown and broad, floppy hat, and hurried out the door. The hallway was deserted, seeming forlorn without the pitter-patter of servants, but Kagome paid it no mind, retracing her steps through the castle again.

She found the practice courts easily enough, and to her surprise, they were full of sweaty men lunging at one another with fierce growls on their faces. She watched, wide-eyed, as they parried thrusts, whirled away and attacked again. They were not the lumbering buffoons she had so often imagined, but agile sure-footed warriors, and as she watched, she came to the realization that not everything was centered on her upcoming marriage. What came or did not come, life would continue on, heedless of broken hearts and shattered hopes. Life continued, and it would continue, and when one really took the time to look, one realized that it slowly but surely erodes the biting edge off of the most memories.

Kagome sighed, feeling suddenly melancholy, and then realized that she must look quite stupid simply standing there doing nothing. Shaking the cobwebs from her mind, she strode onwards, past the bustling patchwork of workshops and worktables (she later found out that it was called the "Village"). She barely drew any notice at all, and she liked it that way, growing rather heady from the liberation it proposed.

Her feet carried her past the morning hustle and bustle, finally taking her into the quiet tract of land that was populated by leafy plants and blanketed by a sense of wisdom and serenity. Kagome felt it sink into her skin and her very bones relaxed. She peered over the field, searching for the herbalist, Kaede. Kagome was not quite sure of what she was looking for, exactly, but something told her that the aged herbalist would give her some sort of answer.

Kagome spotted a hunched figure kneeling in the soft earth next to a small hut in the center of the field. She smiled and stepped forward to cross the land that lay between them. The old woman was still hunched over, separating weeds from herbs in a small basket. Something that had not occurred to Kagome echoed in her mind now. How on earth would she introduce herself? She wasn't any good at sounding high and mighty about her status, and was equally deficient in the random small-talk category.

"Are ye going to gawk all day, child?" The woman's voice was dry and airy, and it effectively jerked Kagome out of her reverie. The herbalist rose onto her feet slowly, revealing a spectacularly wrinkled face and an eye patch. Her clothes were loose and comfortable, worn and well-mended. Dirt-stained hands spoke of her years working with the earth.

"Ms. K-Kaede, I presume?" Kagome said politely, stuttering. "The herbalist?"

The old woman smiled a bit. "Would I be here otherwise, child?"

"Oh," Kagome said sheepishly, "uh, right. Um, I was wondering…" She trailed off. What does one say in a situation like this? she wondered frantically, and all of the paltry phrases that came to mind seemed foolish and childish.

Luckily, the old woman seemed to be sense the jitters on her. "Come sit next to me, child, and I'll show ye my herbs."

Kagome readily seated herself next to the old woman, a little more at ease. The scent of herbs was stimulating, filling her to the brim. She gazed at the plants spread out before her, recognizing it at once.

"That's valerian, isn't it?" she asked, eyeing the long, graceful stems.

"Aye, child, it is. Do ye like herbs and plants?" Surprise was evident in Kaede's voice. Kagome warmed to it.

"Oh, yes! I had my own little patch at home once, but I had to give it up. I never stopped studying herbs though…"

Awkwardness settled as Kagome felt that she had said too much, but Kaede prompted, "What do ye know about valerian?"

She swallowed. "It soothes pain and brings sleep. It can cure near-sightedness, and sometimes the falling sickness too."

The old woman smiled. "Would ye like to help me prepare this batch? Snip the flowers, there."

Kagome happily picked up the shears and snipped the flowers off. A strange peace came over her then, one she had not felt in a long time. Her mind was focused, her heart soft, her soul a deep river of serenity. I'm like the moon, she thought, in the field of plants, of healing. Snip, snip, the shears said.

"Do you get lonely out here?" Kagome asked, curious.

"No, child. Sometimes children come to visit. Sometimes mothers with sick children will come." The woman slowly went on grinding roots.

"They come seeking cures for sicknesses, I suppose."

"Sometimes. Other times, they simply need to talk."

Kagome set the shears down, tense. "I need— Kaede, will you please listen to me?" The need to tell someone— anyone— came bursting out of her chest.

"Yes, child." Kaede's voice was wonderful, filled with understanding and wisdom, so much like Lady Izayoi. Kagome knew, deep, deep down in her bones that Kaede would understand.

"I have to tell Inuyasha something, something very important," she said in a rush, "but we're getting married in three days! It takes lifetimes to know people, doesn't it, and yet I am going to tell him something that— that, I don't know! He doesn't trust me, but I want him so much to know that when you suffer, you're not alone!" Tears of frustration gathered at the corners of Kagome's eyes.

"There, there, child," Kaede whispered soothingly. "Ye are young; ye yet do not know enough of the ways of life."

Kagome scrubbed at her eyes. "I just don't— don't want him to suffer alone. I know how that feels." The most horrible thing in the world. Kagome remembered the gut wrenching hollow in her chest, felt it all those long moments when everything drifted along like a nightmare. She remembered Inuyasha's wild beauty; he didn't deserve what had happened to him— whatever it was— no more than she had. He didn't deserve to be tamed.

"People are like herbs, child. Some, ye take just one look and know what ailments it will treat. For others, it takes much, much longer."

"But what do I do?" Kagome whispered. "What if everything backfires and-" I end up alone again? Kaede fixed her good eye on Kagome's misty ones.

"Ye are an honest girl, child. Trust what you think is best."

A bitter laugh bubbled up in Kagome's throat. "The last time I did that, I landed in this mess."

"Think about what ye are going to do thoroughly, child. Take care not to be careless, for it does not do to play with others' feelings like toys. Inuyasha does not trust easily. Do not break it."

A large lump welled in Kagome's throat. "I know."

And together, they worked the rest of the day away in silence.

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Where was she?

Inuyasha's irately strode through the stone halls of his father's castle, keeping his eyes peeled for Kagome. She really was starting to irritate him, disappearing like that! Where on earth could she have flitted off to? It was getting near sunset, and the halls were becoming steadily more populated.

He inhaled again, sorting through the myriad scents that assaulted his nose for the right one. It was difficult to place her scent precisely. It was a curious one, smelling earthy and fresh, all things good and pure. He sniffed again, scrutinizing every one for a second before discarding it. A familiar one met his nose; he recognized it. It was the maid that was assigned to Kagome's room, the one who annoyed the living daylights out of him.

He planted himself in her path. He recognized her companions. One was a small girl with vivid purple eyes and snow white hair. Involuntarily, Inuyasha felt his heart soften. Shiori was a half-demon, just like himself. Being a half-blood was like having back pain; you felt an immediate kinship with the other one. Inuyasha also recognized Rin, the small, bright girl who was thought to be embodied sunshine.

Rin spotted him first. Her large brown eyes lit up with a bright smile.

"Inuyasha!" she exclaimed, running toward him. He felt a smile twitch on his lips as he felt the little girl collide with his midsection.

"Hey squirt," he said, ruffling her hair. "Giving Sesshoumaru hell for your old uncle?"

She giggled. "Nah, I don't have to. You're quite enough."

Shiori had caught up and gave Inuyasha another hug. "How are you, Inuyasha?" she asked, polite as ever. Inuyasha marveled how her Grandfather— an old fart who was the living epithet of "royal pain in the ass"— had somehow produced this miracle child.

"Fine," he answered. "How're your mom and dad?"

She rolled her prominent eyes. "Busy as always. I don't know what they're doing in their rooms all the time. It's always, 'No, Shiori, we need our time alone.' What do they do in there, write account books?"

Miroku would have had a field day with this one, Inuyasha thought. He suddenly had this nasty vision of Miroku holding a session dedicated to enlightening youth to the dubious pleasure of sex, but if Rin's shrill giggle was any indication, they knew plenty. He wondered if Miroku had gotten to them already.

"Hey, listen you two, have you seem my bride-to-be?" Inuyasha asked.

Shiori and Rin glanced at each other, breaking into simultaneous giggles. Inuyasha glanced beyond them and spotted Satsuki scuffing her shoes across the hallway floor, waiting for her friends to be finished. He was suddenly struck by how backward the situation was: the two oddballs, having the time of their lives, while the only 'normal' one waited on the sidelines. If that wasn't screwed up, he didn't know what was.

"Hey," he said, "why don't you invite your friend over here?"

"Sure," Rin said easily, skipping off to Satsuki's side. Shiori, though, cast her eyes down, realizing her mistake. Rin returned, dragging a mortified Satsuki along.

"You didn't answer my question. Where's Kagome?" Inuyasha asked.

"With the… with the herbalist, sir. She went early this morning," Satsuki's voice quivered. Something clunked into place in Inuyasha's mind. Figures.

"Thanks guys," he said, running a clawed hand through his hair. No wonder she had wandered over there. He hadn't even thought of it! It was no small marvel, what that woman could get up to. He walked to one of the windows and almost absentmindedly jumped out. As he sprang through the grounds, he wondered how deep his future wife's love for herbs ran.

He reached the herb field quickly and spotted the two women with ease. They were hunched over some sort of herb, cutting and pruning things. He inhaled deeply. He had always loved the herb field, perhaps even more than he loved the library, though if word about that got out, he would appear even more eccentric than he already did. It was calm in this place, where you could almost feel the plants growing and blooming.

"OI!" he called out, "old woman!" Both women looked up simultaneously. He bounded over to them, crouching down. "Kagome, you've been here all day?" he asked, sticking a straw in his mouth.

"Yes, Inuyasha. I'm a closet herbalist, remember?" She smiled, and he pretended not to notice how sweet it was. After all, he was above… that sort of thing.

"Right. Granny, you think you might give my wife back for a night? Dad says I gotta spend a good three hours with her a day." He chewed on the straw. Kagome looked down at the roots in her basket, nodding.

Inuyasha felt the sting visibly hit her. She was acting off, smelling of sadness, uncertainty, melancholy. He felt his innards twist at the sight of her unreadable eyes, the ones that were usually so expressive, and since he knew that he was probably the cause of this sadness, it stung even more. He wasn't looking for love, or anything spectacular in this budding relationship, nothing like what his parents or even Kagura and Sesshoumaru had; but was looking and hoping for a steady friendship, at least, because without that, he would be throwing himself off a cliff in no time at all. This was no way to begin that friendship; and it simply had to happen, for their mental health, if nothing else.

"So, will you be spending the rest of the night with me, Kagome?" he asked, and immediately decided that he had been spending far too much time with the Monkey Boy. It had come out so wrong.

Kagome laughed, a delightful tinkling sound. "Who are you and what have you done with my husband?"

He scratched the back of his head. "You gotta ask Monkey Boy for that one."

"I bet," Kagome said. "I've got to get going, Kaede. It's been wonderful talking to you." She embraced the older woman, and heading inside the hut to wash her hands.

"She's good for you," Kaede said.

Inuyasha scratched his chin. "So I've heard."

"She cares for you."

Inuyasha's eyes widened. "What?" he whispered through numb lips.

"Take care of her. Be gentle," Kaede said gently, inspecting a basket full of leaves.

"You don't understand, grandma— I don't really think anything will come out of this! Hell, we can barely stand each other! What are you saying?" Inuyasha groped for words to say, to let reason fly from his mouth.

"Do not assume ye know the future child; only few have that luck," Kaede's voice was calm and steady. "Wait for the time to come. Build stone by stone, brick by brick."

Inuyasha was sputtering some sort of reply when Kagome emerged form the hug and gave him a small smile. "Shall we go? It's getting a bit dark."

"Yeah," Inuyasha muttered. He turned and walked in front of her, trying to see things clearly, but perspective is a luxury when your head was filled with half-formed ghouls of an uncertain future and broken past.

It was going to be a long night, and something told Inuyasha that this would be the first of many of them.