Yeah, still comming. Slowly but surely. My opinions have not changed on his fic, but I don't want to be one of those people with fifty-billion unfinished fics just laying around.
So here you go. Thanks for the reviews.
"I can't believe we're actually having a picnic in the park. I haven't done this in years." Monica smiled happily.
Chandler smiled back at her, as she pulled her body in between his legs, so that she could rest her head on his chest. "We should do this more often," he agreed, "Maybe we can pay them to take your parents away more."
"Hmm, an interesting concept. I do believe we should start a charity just for that very purpose."
"This is quite the charitable case, isn't it?" He chuckled softly, "But it's not that bad, right? I mean, it's just for the weekend, right?"
"Have you never met my parents?"
"But still, I mean, we're gonna have to spend time with them more eventually, I mean it's not like we can hide from them forever."
Monica felt her lips slide into an even bigger smile, "You see us being together forever? You think about that stuff?" Monica cooed happily, "I love you."
He shrugged, "Well, you know, it's not like that," he mumbled out, realizing his mistake. Monica just gave him a playful glare, "Just don't spread it around."
"How bout that Miami Vice Soundtrack? Or the Flock of Seagulls haircut? Ooh, ooh, how about the Annie Soundtrack!"
"Chopping off my toe, betting apartments in a stupid game, taking back the apartment illegitimately, after all you are the rule girl, or shall I bring up your nickname as a field hockey goalie in high school?"
"So, we have a lot of dirt on each other," Monica mumbled, "Janice!" She shouted out randomly, "Ha! Nothing beats Janice! It's like the right bower!"
"Dating your father's best friend, who was twice your age, followed up by a sort tryst with his son. I mean, hello Greek tragedy, my name is Monica, pleased to meet you!"
"Locking yourself in a box to win back your best friend after kissing one of his girlfriends."
"Doing your brother's best friend before his wedding."
"Hey, you were a willing participate in that! That totally doesn't count!"
"Fine then, making out in your parents bathroom with your then secret mustache boyfriend."
She smiled, as she raised her hand up to trace just above his lip, "Your still jealous because you can't grow a mustache, huh, Turkey Boy."
"A Thanksgiving reference, my, my, aren't we getting personal?"
"And what about this game isn't personal?"
"Good point, obsessive compulsive."
"Glad you see it my way, commitment phob."
Chandler smiled and shook his head, "We are by far the most dysfunctional couple today, wouldn't you say? I mean, take all the other couples making eyes and kissy noises at each other, and here we are bringing up each other's stupid mistakes in some twisted type of competition."
"I bet we can out romance that couple over there," she pointed to an adjacent couple a few yards away, "They look all talk and no action, wouldn't you say? I mean, they're totally over there going all Seinfeld on us, 'smoopee, no you're smoopee'!"
Chandler smiled, "They're totally going down," he hunched his body over, once again capturing her lips in his own in a fiery kiss.
"So, Monica and Chandler, huh?" Phoebe commented, "You know, when I think about it, it makes total sense. I wonder why we didn't see it before?" They both sat in Joey's apartment, facing across from each other in Joey and Chandler's chairs, both sipping beers absent mindedly as Joey snacked on a bag of potato chips.
Joey just shrugged, "I donno, maybe it's because they weren't supposed to see it until now."
"What you do mean?"
"Well, you know, what if they weren't ready for this until now, I mean, let's face it, they both need a lot of work," Phoebe nodded along in agreement, "But, for all of that, I think that maybe they just had to do their own thing for awhile until they were ready to start seeing each other."
"Wow."
"What?"
"Joey, that was deep."
He smiled, "Nah!"
"Ah, huh!"
"No."
"Totally deep."
"Really?"
Phoebe nodded, "So, do you ever feel left out?"
"Whatda mean?"
"Well, Ross and Rachel have their whole 'we were on a break, we weren't on a break thing' going on for them, and Mon and Chan have their whole little secret relationship thing going on, although it's not so secret anymore. I still can't believe they kept it from us for so long."
"No kidding! You don't know how hard it was to keep that all in! You didn't have to keep their secret and have to look like a complete idiot all the time! I mean, I am not a sex addict!"
"Oh yeah! I'd forgotten about that!"
"I mean, I wanted to tell you guys for so long, but they made me promise not to tell! And Monica wouldn't even do it with me!"
"What?"
"Well, her and Chandler didn't have such a hard time lying to all of you guys, I mean they got to do it like every night, but me! I didn't get anything out of the deal!"
Phoebe nodded along, "I know! Nobody appreciates us."
"We should have a boycott or something."
"Right on!"
"So," Ross looked down at his watch, "I've got a lecture at noon," he tried to sound as casual and indifferent as possible. It was sometimes best for deniability later if he planted an idea in his parents head and made them think they came up with it.
"Oh? At the college right?" Judy smiled, "To think, my son, the college professor." She smiled dreamily, "You've made us so proud, Ross."
"Yes, you've done quite well for yourself. I mean you had a nice job and all going for you at the museum, but you said that wasn't good enough and moved on to bigger and better things."
Rachel smirked, "Yep, that's Ross, he's just moving on. Totally voluntarily. All about moving up and out, better things out there, and all that jazz. Right, Ross? You totally wanted this."
"Ooh, Rach," he forced an uncomfortable laugh, "You can be so silly some times."
"Ah-huh, silly," she said casually as they walked passed a sandwich shop, "Hey, I've never been there before. Do you guys think they sell any turkey sandwiches, y'know, like the ones made up from leftover Thanksgiving food." She smirked as she noticed Ross getting more and more uncomfortable, "Maybe with a Moist Maker."
"Oh, like the one's Monica makes all the time!" Jack chimed in.
"I'm sorry, Rachel, but I think you're just gonna have to wait like the rest of us for Thanksgiving to roll around again so that you can have your," she shudders, "Left over, moist maker, turkey sandwich."
"Ah, shoot," she feigned disappointment, "You know last time I didn't get one. And somebody ate Ross's. I mean, I don't know how you kept your cool Ross."
"You know what," Ross squeaked, "Chandler's at work, right? I think I'll stop over there real quick and pick him up for my lecture. He never does anything anyways. So you guys just head back to the apartment and spend some quality time with Rachel. You haven't done that in awhile, right? I mean, Rach, think of all the gossip you can check up on!"
Rachel glared at him, "Oh, you know what, why don't I get Chandler. I mean, you want to spend time with your parents, right?"
"Nonsense, Rachel! We haven't had any real bonding time in years! I was beginning to think of you like the daughter I never had."
"What about," Rachel began, but was cut off by Ross's awkward coughing.
"So, yeah, I'll just scoot on down to Chandler's office, meet you guys back at the apartment in like a hour? Hour and a half? You know how that guy talk can get," he chuckled, "Have fun you guys!" He waved as he took off in the opposite direction of his parents and Rachel before she could protest.
Rachel just banged her fists together, just especially for Ross.
Judy leaned into Jack, "What does that mean, anyways?" She whispered hoarsely. Jack just shrugged, and continued down the street.
Monica and Chandler ran into his office without so much as a hello to his secretary and slammed the door, both erupting in uncontrollable laughter.
"I can't believe we just did that," Monica made out in between giggles, "I mean, did you see the look on that other couples face! We totally beat them!"
"Yeah, so suckers didn't have a chance."
"And neither did that cop," Monica commented, "We totally kicked ass today!"
"Yes, beating an unwitting couple in a make-out contest and running away from one of those overweight park cops because of it is always a romantic way to spend a morning."
Monica smiled, "I love you, you know that right?"
"Really? Cause I thought that feeling you up in public just meant that you kinda liked me."
Her smile grew, "Oh shut up," she leaned in, and their lips met in another tender kiss. "How sound proof is that door?" She asked softly.
Chandler raised his eyebrows, "In my office? In the middle of the day? That's crazy!"
"It's kinda like the balcony. Just with less people around."
He smiled, "You're the best," he whispered as he grabbed her, wrapping his arms tightly around her small frame, and catching her lips in another set of passionate kisses.
"Hey," Ross greeted Chandler's secretary with a smile, "Is Chandler in, or have I missed him?" He discovered it was always better to phrase it as, 'missed him' instead of 'or has Chandler just not shown up for work or is just MIA for several hours'.
"He just arrived, but I wouldn't go in there if I was you."
"What? It's Chandler, he won't care."
She shook her head, "No, Mr. Bing and his girlfriend just went in there a couple of minutes ago, and I don't think it would be smart to disrupt them."
"Chandler and his girlfriend," Ross said slowly, making sure he heard the lady right. She was kinda elderly, maybe she just misspoke or something.
"Yea, umm, Monica, I believe. I met her at the office party last week. She's a doll, really, much better then that other hooligan he brought with him last time. His roommate or whatever."
"Monica," Ross repeated, "As in Monica Geller?"
"Yes, that was her name! Monica Geller! Haven't you met her? The pretty little thing with brunette hair," she described.
"Yea, yea, I've met her," Ross made out slowly, trying to hold back his anger.
"Oh, I'm sorry, do you want me to leave him a message for you?"
Ross shook his head, "Nah, I think he'll be occupied for a little while."
"How about a name then, I'll tell him you stopped by."
"No, no," Ross shook his head, "That's alright. I'll see him later. Just wanted to see if he was free for lunch, but I really should be getting back. You know, to work."
"Yes, yes, of course. Bye then."
Ross nodded faintly, then began his numb walk down the long hallway, plotting the perfect way for him to kill Chandler and get away with it.