Wardrobe Malfunctions Chapter 12: King of the Mountain, an inuyasha fanfic

A/N: well, I finally wrote it- Miroku and Inuyasha take revenge on Shippou. 'Try' being the optimal word here.

You'll notice the sir-mix-a-lot references. Sue me- i think that song is freakin' hysterical.

This is a continuation of chapter 3, chapter 10 and chapter 11. The saga continues!

Enjoy!

Who's the King of the F--ing Mountain Now?

Inuyasha smiled an evil grin as he watched Shippou to begin to search for his clothing. "Perfect," he hissed.

Miroku shook his head and sighed. He had a feeling this was not going to work.

Once they had found Shippou sleeping off his pocky-induced sugar high in a tree, the men had furiously taken back their clothes with a lot of verbal abuse and as much as physical abuse as Kagome would let them dole out.

"Don't you think this is a bit...mean?" the monk asked.

"Have you forgotten last few nights?" Inuyasha hissed.

Kagome and Sango had made looking at the humiliating photos a nightly pastime and Inuyasha's fury had grown with every giggle. Miroku was not thrilled with the pictures either.

After discussing it, the pair decided a little payback was necessary but, being the more mature of the two, Miroku was having second thoughts.

"He's a child. We bribed him with candy, for the love of the gods," Miroku whispered.

Inuyasha glared at him. "That doesn't excuse anything! I would also be swayed by candy!"

"Do yourself a favor and don't say that again."

"Shut up monk."

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Shippou sat down from looking for his clothing and shook his head in exasperation. "They're adults...seriously, isn't this just a little juvenile?" Fully knowing who was watching him, he said a little loudly, "It's so dumb, it must be Inuyasha's idea..."

"SHUT UP RUNT!"

The kit giggled. Ah, that boy is too easy to tease...

"Shippou, you might as well come out naked because we are not giving you back your clothes for a long time," Miroku added.

Thinking for a moment, Shippou let out a devious grin. "Are you sure you want me to come out?"

"Get out of there brat!"

Shippou shrugged and proceeded to get out of the water and face his punishment like a man.

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"What are you guys doing to poor Shippou?" Kagome demanded as she watched the two semi-adults smirk.

Inuyasha shrugged. "He deserves it."

"Inuyasha! You already beat him up."

"He deserves it!"

"But you already got back at him!"

Inuyasha glared at Kagome. "Maybe if you stupid women wouldn't look at those pictures, I wouldn't have to do this."

"Oh, do not go blaming Shippou for-!"

"It's okay," said a high pitched voice from behind them. "I've got nothing to be embarrassed about."

All the adults looked down at little Shippou and abruptly realized he wasn't that little at all.

Shippou stood there, hands on his hips and grinned. His body was exactly as expected except for one important item.

After a few moments of silence, Miroku had to ask. "What the hell is that thing?"

"My penis," Shippou announced blithely. To everyone's astonishment, Shippou's dick hung down until right above his knees and swung in the mid-morning air as he moved. "I tried to warn you that you don't want me coming out naked but you refused to listen." He shrugged and the four adults watched Shippou's appendage continued moving for a few seconds afterward in a pendulum effect.

"Shippou, um...I..." Kagome tried to find word and eventually just shook her head. "We should definitely not be looking at this." Her eyes widened as the kitsune picked up his personal anaconda with both hands.

"Well, it is kind of impressive," Shippou said with reasonable pride. "I mean, when I pee, I can't even touch the end of it."

"That's too much information, thank you Shippou," Kagome said with a grimace.

"...How?" Miroku asked finally. "You're so...small!"

"Kitsune nature I suppose. You know Miroku, kitsune don't get all the ladies because we trick them into it," Shippou replied smugly. "We get the ladies because we're so well endowed."

"It's freaking enormous..." Sango mumbled.

"Sango!" Miroku shouted incredulously.

"I mean, look at it. It's just...so big."

"Tsk, tsk Sango," Shippou chided mischievously, "You can't have any of it. Naughty woman..."

"That, that was not what I meant!" she sputtered.

"Maybe I'll give you some when I'm older," he consoled mockingly.

Over her shocked gasps, he looked down at himself and said, "Yep. The gods broke the mold when they made me."

Red and furious, Sango hissed, "I'll break something else in a minute!"

Kagome glared at Shippou. "Get dressed Shippou! Now!" she commanded over her shoulder as she dragged the murderous demon slayer away.

Shippou grinned wider and finally looked at the silent Inuyasha.

"Anything to add, hmm? Nothing?" he asked in delight as Inuyasha looked at the front of his red hakama pants and then at Shippou's cock and back at himself.

Miroku yanked Shippou's pants from Inuyasha's listless hands and threw them to the gloating child.

"Get dressed. Now." The monk demanded angrily. It was one thing to not have Sango's respect but to have her ogling another man was too much, especially when Miroku knew himself to be so...underwhelming in comparison.

Shippou languidly drew on his pants, stopping to thrust his dick down one pants leg. "It's so hard to have a penis this large," he said sweetly. "I always have to arrange it so carefully."

Both Miroku and Inuyasha glared at him venomously.

Shippou snickered. "You can bring me the rest of my clothing later. I've never been ashamed when I'm naked." Strolling down the lane, Shippou hummed a happy tune and followed Kagome and Sango back to camp.

The sound of his younger nemesis' gloating rang in Inuyasha's ears long after the kitsune had left the area.

Miroku opened his mouth to say something but stopped as he saw a vein in Inuyasha's forehead throbbing.

"Why can't we ever win?" Inuyasha asked quietly. In sudden and complete rage, he lashed out and kicked over a tree."Why the FUCK can we never, ever win against that gods damned brat??" Inuyasha roared.

He huffed and clenched his fist as the dust settled over the 40 foot tree now on its side. Miroku looked at the tree and wisely decided that neither of them was going to go back to camp until Inuyasha was as drunk as hell. Yanking his flask of sake out of his robes, he proffered it to Inuyasha silently.

Nodding, Inuyasha slung back a throat searing swallow and wiped his mouth.

"I don't know why we never win against him, my friend. I simply don't know," Miroku told him after he gulped down the sake. "I'm beginning to suspect we never will."

"Did you know about...that?"

"No! Did you?"

"I never looked! I never even suspected he had...that thing hidding in his pants!" Inuyasha shook his head and yanked back the alcohol. "Stupid kitsunes."

"Amen. Pass the sake."

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Shippou grinned in sheer enjoyment as he heard a screech from Inuyasha and the sound of his physical temper tantrum. Needing to pee, he hauled out his now normal sized dick which comfortably fit into the palm of his hand.

Best illusion spell I ever did, he gloated. Gotta remember to try it when I'm older.

Recalling the horrified look on the faces of the older men, he laughed out loud. Try to trick a kitsune, huh? They should have known better than to try.

Finishing his business, he proceeded to cheerfully rifled through Kagome's briefcase. He had shown up in camp and the two girls had stammered something about finding food and ran away, unable to face him.

Shippou wasn't worried. He had all he needed right here.

He found his treasure deep underneath Kagome's extra panties and settled back to enjoy his illicit treat.

"Mmmm...Pocky!"

A/N: So, i hope this provided some amusement for everyone. i just keep seeing this massive shlong hangng off of shippou's tiny body and start laughing. Let me know what you think!